Mistreated
by Svaler
Summary: The damage that comes from bullying can be overcome with a strong mind, clever words and a passion that makes your heart beat just a little faster. The past is unchangeable, but it can be liberating once you stop clinging to it out of fear for the unknown. Maybe once you let the bad go, better things will get the chance blossom out?
1. Name

**_Disclaimer: _**I don't own the characters.

**Note: [Beta'ed and re-written by: b. krumova]**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 1 - Name<em>**

_November, 2001_

"Swan!" I heard someone call. I shut my eyes tightly.

_Don't let this happen to me again. _

I had been having a bad feeling all day, and it was time to go home now. Daddy would come and pick me up after fifteen minutes. A quarter to three is what he told me.

I wanted my daddy to be here now. He was a police officer. He did good things. He caught all the bad people. That's what police men did.

Each day when I would be in my daddy's car and he would ask me how school was, I would smile. That smile was always forced. It was really hard to pretend I was happy, when I wasn't. But I would always tell him all about my friends, and that we had played different games, laughed hard, ran after each other, made the easy homework we got in class and played more while we waited until our parents picked us up.

Of course, that wasn't true. That was just stuff I made up so daddy would think I was happy.

Reality was that I would be scared to go to school. I would never know what those kids would come up with and I never knew why they hated me. I was too scared to tell daddy or even mommy when I talked to her on the phone. I didn't know if it was my fault. What I always told daddy, was my imagination. My dreams and the stuff I hoped for.

I had really hoped _so_ badly none if it would happen today. That they would ignore me, or better, forget me, for just this day.

_I had hoped._

"Chicken," Rosalie called, making the word sound very long, "don't run away so fast. I have a surprise for you."

It had been Edward who called my name. Slowly, I turned around. My brown eyes looked into his green ones. Every time he neared me — like he was going now — he always looked down. Edward liked the fact he was taller than me. The red sweater he had on today was almost a matching shade of the rusty color of his hair. For anyone who didn't know him they probably wouldn't see it, since he recently cut it short, but I knew.

I've known him for longer than I wanted to.

Walking next to him was Rosalie, his sister. Her blouse matched the color on Edward's, but hers weren't as baggy as his was. Rosalie saw me staring at her and her blue eyes looked angrily at me. She pushed her long, pretty blonde hair behind her shoulder and walked faster toward me. Rosalie was the reason I sometimes didn't like my brown hair. If she had been my friend, I would have admitted this to her honestly. Though if she had been my friend, she maybe would have said that she liked my hair just the way it is.

Two girls were walking behind Rosalie with grins on their lips. Tanya and Lauren were Rosalie's best friends. They were always playing together. Usually their games included doing tricks on me, but they still enjoyed it nonetheless.

I almost sighed when I saw the way they had dressed themselves. Tanya and Lauren always liked to wear matching clothes. Today, they were wearing similar black boots, with white pants tucked into them and a pink shirt with a grey vest covered their upper body. There was one difference though. Tanya had strawberry blonde hair, almost just as pretty as Rosalie's, whereas Lauren's hair was a light blonde, kind of yellowish even. I have always disliked that hair color, because it reminded me of Barbie dolls. This was something I disliked too. I had once searched with my mommy for a Barbie with brown hair, but there weren't any. My mommy thought it was funny when I told her I didn't like the hair color on all those Barbie heads.

I knew Tanya and Lauren had planned it the day before, telling each other which color clothes they were going to wear and which kind of shoes they were going to put on. I had to hear it for almost every day, because in class they were sitting behind me. Each time I had the urge to tell them to maybe pay a little more attention to the teacher. I also knew Tanya got good grades, almost as good as mine, but Lauren didn't do as well as Tanya.

Emmett was taller than me. He always has been the tallest boy from our class. His dark eyes seemed almost black, but if you looked closely when he was standing in the sun, you could see it was brown like mine.

Where Edward liked to wear jeans all the time, I hardly ever saw Emmett in anything other than sweats. He was the sporty type of child, who always liked playing ball, or run around the school.

I guess this is why he didn't have enough energy to torment me.

Despite the fact Emmett always hanged out with his friends, he was the only one who never did anything physically harmful to me. He'd call me names and try to scare me, but he never went as far as Rosalie and even Edward did at times. As they neared me, I saw Rosalie holding up a box of cigarettes all too familiar to me. Even though daddy never smoked I could recognize them. She hid it in her pocket and walked in front of me, while the others were behind me, pushing me in the direction she was walking. Their hands were rough, so strong for nine year olds. The way they kept pushing me, hurt my shoulders. I don't know if it were Emmett, Edward or one of the girls, because my mind was spinning so fast about what they would do to me. Though this had happened to me before – the pushing, and the pulling, and the bullying – it did not change how anxious I would become each time they would lead me to a place where other teachers hardly ever came.

This time, we were walking to the girls' bathroom. Rosalie held the door open while the others gave me a final push inside. I stumbled, but luckily didn't fall. Rosalie was walking all the way to the end and someone was still pushing me, forcing me to follow her.

She pulled out the cigarette from her pocket, along with a lighter. It was the first time I saw anyone so young lit a cigarette, so much like a professional.

_Like she had done this before._

A small voice inside my head told me she probably had. But I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe somebody so young could even think of smoking a cigarette.

She put it on her lips and lit it on. I noticed how her lips pressed on the cigarette end, while she almost immediately blew out the smoke.

"Let me," Lauren said.

"You can't even smoke!" Rosalie said. "Last time you coughed like somebody who's been sick for months."

"I can!" Tanya said. She took the cigarette from Rosalie, put the cigarette on her mouth and drew in the smoke. But then she coughed so hard, it even made me worry a little about her. Maybe she wasn't okay.

The worry didn't grow, when all the others laughed.

"You're such a girl, Tanya," Edward said. "I bet even Izzie could do better."

Edward walked over to me and stood still beside me. Suddenly, his arm was around my shoulder and I was almost pulled at his side.

This _never _happened before.

"What are you doing?" I asked nervously, a little ready to push him away, no matter if he would be angry with me or not if I would do that.

But then I understood what he had previously meant. _I _was _Izzie_. He called me _Izzie_.

_It's not a mean nickname. It's not a strange nickname. I'm offended by it._

It was strange to hear Edward call me some name nobody he never called me before and then to even have him stand right next to me and touching me voluntarily.

Apparently, this hadn't gone unnoticed by the four others.

"Ew!" Tanya screeched. "Gross! Why are you touching Fatty Belly?"

_Fatty Belly..._

_They call me fatty belly all the time, but I'm not even fat!_

"We all know she like me," Edward said from beside me.

"No, I don't!" I protested.

Edward turned his head to mine. Standing so close to him wasn't something I was really used to. Other times when he would actually touch me, he would push me away, or do something so he wouldn't be so close to me for longer then just a few seconds. Now that he was so close to me, I saw his eyes more clearly from this angle. I had to look up, and his arm laid easily around my shoulders. I dared myself to look a little longer at his eyes. I wasn't sure where this little confidence came from. I soon realized this confidence wasn't good. Edward wasted no time before using it against me.

"Yes, you do," Edward said. "You are always looking at me."

I knew he wasn't implying on just now, even though that smile on his lips right now told me he had noticed my staring. I also knew I hadn't been very careful at times when I looked at Edward, because I always caught his eyes. And when I looked quickly away and then look back, he wasn't looking at me anymore.

"Old news," Emmett suddenly said. "We have to hurry, Edward!"

"Yeah, yeah," Edward said, slightly annoyed now. His smile instantly left, as if it had never been there at all. "I just wanted to tell Bella that I like her too."

"You do?" I asked in surprise.

Rosalie's laugh echoed in the toilets, sounding very high and sharp in my ears. I had the urge to close my ears with my fingers, but I didn't think that Rosalie would like that. She'd probably be offended if I did it. Tanya and Lauren had joined Rosalie almost as soon as she had begun, creating more laughter.

"No, you goof, of course I don't!"

Edward's arm left my shoulder in an instant and with the weight of it being gone from my shoulder, I felt lighter, but also heavier, because of what Edward had just said to me.

He said he didn't like me, but he never told me why. If I knew why, maybe I could change. Maybe then he would like me, instead of calling me a goof and laughing at me. That was what he was doing right now. He was laughing at me. His laughter hurt me the most. It hurt somewhere under my chest, squeezing everything there tightly. I wasn't sure if that was even possible.

Edward signed with his head to Rosalie, who was holding the cigarette again. Rosalie gave it to him, and he smoked once too. He did it differently. He kept breathing in and blew the smoke out a little later.

"Alright," Edward said, "Bella, you can go."

Before I had even taken two steps toward the door, Edward called me back.

"Smoke with us first, though."

I turned around to face him again and saw him reach his hand toward me, offering me the cigarette.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "No, I won't do it!"

Edward's behavior changed. I saw it by just looking in his eyes.

"Then we won't let you go," he said.

I bit in my lip, as I wondered how long they could actually keep me locked in here. They had to go home too, right?

"Take the cigarette!" Edward suddenly barked. I turned my head away from him, trying to block his view. I knew it was pointless, because the space was small and he was standing in front of me. I just didn't like it when people put on their loud voice.

"It's not really a big deal, Bella," Emmett said.

"You're so boring, Bella," Lauren said. "We have all smoked before."

"It will be really cool," Edward said. He stepped closer, and my eyes landed on the cigarette between his first and middle finger.

I felt trapped into this small space. I really wanted to tell them to leave me alone.

"It's just a ciggy, Izzy," he said, grinning.

"How cute are you two?" Rosalie snarled.

"I'm guessing Eddie wants more with her than just having her smoke…"

We all turned to watch Emmett. He had both his eyebrows up, looking at Edward in almost a challenging way. What was that all about?

"Take it!" Edward hissed, pushing the cigarette near my hand.

Against my will, my own fingers locked around the cigarette. I was too scared to say "no" to Edward anymore, especially when he hissed like that. I was really holding it now. The hot end was orange and the gray smoke was billowing. Why was I so stupid? I shouldn't have accepted the cigarette.

"But... I have to go," I replied, the tears were making my eyes burn. I had to go back, or else daddy would be worried. I didn't want him to worry about me. I just wanted them to leave me alone. I couldn't do what they wanted from me. How come they suddenly wanted me to do this? It was so stupid! They probably had to steal the cigarette, but they couldn't really do that much trouble to find a cigarette just to force _me _to smoke it. That just didn't make sense to me. Their behavior actually never did make sense to me, anyway.

I glanced back at the door. Emmett was leaning against it now. I was surprised to see him drop his eyes when mine landed on his, instead of giving me a nasty glare.

"Bella? Are you here? Where are you?" I heard my daddy call for me.

"Daddy!" I said excited.

He found me! This was something I have never imagined happening. I had always hoped my daddy would be like a knight, saving me right in time. And now that was really happening!

The door behind us opened. I couldn't hide my joy when it happened. It didn't matter what the others would say anymore, he was here!

"Daddy!" I cried.

"Isabella!"

I scowled a little and got a little nervous at daddy's loud voice. He only called me by my full name when he was angry. Maybe he was angry at me for being so late. His eyes went around the space, looking behind me and then back at me.

"Isabella, _what _is this?" he asked. He was angry. His face was red and his heart must have been beating as fast as mine was.

I thought he was angry because I never told him I was being bullied. Maybe he was angry that I have been lying to him and I never admitted the truth. But I have never been able to tell daddy about the bullies at school. I was too scared. But I wasn't anymore.

Daddy never closed the door, after he walked into the bathroom, but I never noticed a teacher from the lower grade standing beside him.

"Dear God!" she shrieked, walking to me. The only sound were her high heels clicking on the ground as she stopped in front of my and grabbed the cigarette — I forgot I was holding it — out of my fingers.

"We found her, Miss! She's here smoking and she's just a _kid_!" Rosalie said from behind me in her most innocent voice. My eyes widened as I finally caught up with their evil plan.

Through my fear I looked at her and saw her smiling evilly at me, behind my daddy's back.

"We knew she's smoking, because she asked us to join her," Lauren said, nodding her head.

"Yeah, but we said _no_!" Tanya finished. "Because smoking is bad."

"We're your _friends,_ Bella," Lauren continued. "Why would we smoke with you, when we could just stop you?"

"How can you smoke a cigarette?" Edward asked. "Who even gave it to you?"

For a second, everything had turned one hundred and eighty degrees.

They were saying those stuff, lying to the teacher. They hated me, and I didn't even know why. They wanted me to take the blame of their weird actions. But actually I did know why they hated me. Right now, I sort of hated myself, too.

"Kids, please leave now so I could have a word with Isabella."

"Okay," they all replied. They left and the teacher took my hand and led me to a classroom I had never been before.

"Sit here, Isabella." She pointed a chair and table and I did as she told me. "Mr. Swan, I realize this must be quite the shock for you."

My daddy wasn't looking at me. He was ignoring me. He had never done that before. The sad thing was that I knew why he was acting like this.

I put my arms on the table in front of me and really cried for the first time that day. My sobs sounded loud in my ears and I didn't hear much of what they were saying.

It hurt to realize then and there that your daddy believed the words of the ones that hated me, instead of mine. He believed Rosalie and her friends over me!

When we walked out of the classroom, I was shocked to see the bullies walking in front of me, with a teacher guiding them outside. Most kids had already gone home, but I noticed four waiting cars.

Lauren and Tanya said bye to the rest, as they both went to their parents. They never saw me behind them.

Rosalie, Emmett and Edward walked to their mother, a beautiful lady I had seen often. Jasper and Alice weren't in the car. They must have already left with their daddy.

Silently, daddy and I walked to the car, and today I was too scared to even sit next to him. Before I had opened the door to the backseat, the lady had suddenly called me.

"Bella!"

I looked up at her, her face pointy, but motherly. I didn't even know she knew my name. Her wavy, brown hair was blowing around her face.

"Bella?" she asked now, a bit more carefully. "Mr. Swan, could I please talk with her for a moment?"

She didn't sound angry, but actually sad.

My daddy told something to the nice lady, which I didn't catch, and she nodded.

"Okay, well, Bella… Just take care." She smiled once again very broadly, and it didn't seem fake. Why was this lady so nice to me?

I was finally able to open the door and I cowered in a corner, trying to block everything away. I didn't want to see the last cars that drove around us, containing _them_ in it.

That night, the most amazing thing and the most horrible thing happened at the same time.

Amazing, because I would never see them bully me again and horrible, because my daddy gave up on me. The one that was supposed to love me, suddenly turned his back on me. I told him sorry over and over that night. But it hadn't been enough to convince my daddy.

He called mommy and had her flying to Forks to come and pick me up. Even though he was angry, he'd never let me fly alone. I knew daddy loved me, even though he was sending me away.

She didn't speak to me on our flight to Phoenix. She grounded me for a month as soon as we landed. I had to be in bed every day at seven. No television. I only got to read books. I read eighteen books that month - I counted them, and realized I loved books. After I wasn't grounded anymore, I didn't watch television. I read books. I loved them all.

The incident was forgotten, thankfully, after two months. Never brought up again when I talked with daddy on the phone.

The new school was okay. I made a few friends for the first time in my life, but never got close enough to anyone to call them a real friend, a friend for life, as people said.

The year went by fast, I read books and pretended to be one of the girls from all the beautiful novels I spend my time reading.

When I didn't read, I would be reminded of green evil eyes, or strawberry blond hair, or a particular big boy that looked like a bear or something, or I would be reminded of a beautiful monster girl.

I had nightmares. They never went away. My mom bought me a dream catcher when I was twelve, but I still had them, every night. Sometimes they weren't as bad as others and I almost didn't remember them, but when those other nights came it was horrible.

Up until the day I turned seventeen, I still read books and still feared the nightmares. Sometimes the things they had done to me for years would be repeated and sometimes my own imagination would randomly make up things. Once, I dreamed that Edward shaved my head and when I woke up and felt my head, it was a sweet relief to feel my long hair still on my head.

The one nightmare I would never forget was the one where Lauren was saying that I was wasting oxygen, but I giggled and couldn't stop those giggles when I woke, because in real life, Lauren wouldn't even know what oxygen is.

Sometimes, I forgot. The dreams my mind had made up would look so real, that I didn't know if it had really happened or not. And I would just forget. I tried to tell myself it was a dream made up by myself but I hated for not knowing or remembering.

Yeah, I was still haunted by each and one of them.

When I couldn't sleep, I would read _Fallen_. I liked that book. I had probably read it too many times. It was a more original book, a new one, not a classical one.

Phil was a really nice guy my mom had met when I was twelve. He had always treated me like a daughter, but this morning he told me something that kept me awake tonight.

"_So Bella, I have this great game coming in February," he said._

"_Really?" I asked. "Well, you are going to win it, I'm sure."_

_Phil nodded his head, but seemed thoughtful. "My team is going to train in Jacksonville. That's in Florida. I'm going to train with them."_

"_That's really cool? When are you going?"_

"_Saturday," he replied. "With Renée." He was very hesitant as he said this._

"_What?" I asked with a scowl. That was two days from now. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Bella," Renée said, appearing behind me. She put her hands on my shoulders and continued, "I can't stay here, with Phil being away for five months! I just… I am going to miss you so much."_

_She suddenly hugged me, clearly saying goodbye, but I was still confused about what was going to happen to _me_. Where was this going to leave me? Renée apparently had thought about this, because she answered my thoughts._

"_I called your father, and he said he'd love it if you lived with him for a while. It doesn't even have to be for the entire year! Besides, you're so smart, it wouldn't matter if you made the school switch in February. It might actually be a nice experience?" She was hoping that she could convince me that this was true._

"_What?" I asked, scowling. "You're saying I should live with Charlie?"_

_Over the years, I had been used to calling my father Charlie instead of dad, even though he didn't like that._

"_Yes," she said. "I think that would be really great." She bit her lip. "Of course, you could always come with Phil and me, if you'd like."_

"_No, no, of course not!" I instantly replied. I knew that wasn't what she wanted and besides, I would feel ashamed of just being in the way of their relationship. "I'll go and live with Charlie."_

_I didn't show them that that was really that last place I wanted to be._

Instantly after I had said those words, Renée had jumped in excitement, telling me to call Charlie to give him the news. The conversation was brief. We didn't have a heart-to-heart conversation filled with excitement. He simply informed me he would pick me up at two on Saturday on the airport.

This sudden change was happening so fast, that it didn't give me enough time to even worry about all the consequences. Of course I knew exactly where I was headed to. This was the place where my tormentors lived. But surely, they must have forgotten about me. Why would they remember me, the one they always picked on, the one they nearly hated? They probably hadn't once thought about me.

Perhaps, they hadn't. And perhaps, they remembered exactly who I was.

I told a few girls at my school with whom I regularly hung out that I was leaving for a while.

They had been shocked, to say the least. I smiled sadly at them and told them that it was better if I went to Forks, instead of staying in that big house here in Phoenix by myself. It was hard to convince them this poor lie, but eventually, they bought it.

"Bella, you know you can always come back, right?" my mom told me at the airport.

I nodded and gave her a hug. "Yes, mom," I assured. "I love you."

"Oh, Bella! I love you too." She hugged me again, but held onto me more tightly now. Her actions really touched me. This hug spoke louder than any words she had said. She didn't want to let me go.

"Mom, the plane is going to leave without me," I said in her hair.

"Yeah, yeah." She quickly pulling back. "Don't forget to call me, sweetie, okay?"

"I will," I said, my parting words.

I had never flied alone in a plane before, but it was actually quite fun. There was just this one baby that was crying loudly up to the point it got annoying. Standing on this airplane as I was right now, suddenly made me realize it was really happening. I was actually back in Forks, and I was going to live with Charlie for several months.

Our meeting was awkward. He hadn't really changed, and he asked me how I had been and what I thought of Phil. He didn't sound like a jealous ex-husband, but merely curious and friendly. Then when the formalities were over, we both grew quiet and drove back to the house.

The only sound I heard now was the rain falling on the car, and the radio. This didn't help me calm down at all. Somewhere, a few miles away from me, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Lauren and Tanya lived. I hoped that they had maybe moved away to a whole other continent, but even I knew that chance was pretty slim.

For a second I had the urge to ask Charlie about them. But I didn't. The last time those kids and I were together, was that day…The day I wished to erase out of my memory, but mostly, out of Charlie's memory. I was a little nervous, but Charlie didn't once bring up what happened nine years ago. For this, I was grateful.

My mind wandered to the past, and I still tried to find reasons why they bullied me. Each time I tried to think of something else, my mind went back to that single question; _Why me?_ It was such a short question, but I didn't know the answer. Sometimes I wondered if it really mattered to know. Maybe the answer was an insult. Maybe it was better to live in ignorance.

The closer we got to home, the more I wondered. I couldn't stop to feel a little anxious. I wasn't even sure what I'd do if I would see them again. What would they even do?

Charlie left me in peace when we got home. He didn't bother me while I went upstairs to my same old room. To be honest, I wasn't in the mood for anything at all. I even couldn't put my mind to reading a book. All that I needed right now was music. Loud, rock music. For Charlie's sake, I used ear-buds.

I tossed and turned all night, with still the same music playing over and over. Before I came here, I told Charlie not to tell anyone I'd be coming back. I told him I wanted to surprise my "old" friends.

He gave me his word and I wondered how tomorrow would be like. Would they recognize me? Hate me still? Question me? Chase me away again? Play tricks with me?

After all, I was an easy target, because I never really had been able to speak up for myself. However, with that knowledge, I promised myself not to let that fact ruin me again...or ruin me _more _should I say.

Lying in this same bed, I've been sleeping in as a child caused me to have the memories I tried so hard to suppress back.

_December, 1999_

_I was six when the Cullens moved to Forks. The first time I met Edward was in class. He was seated in front of me with a sad look on his face. Even though it was our first meeting, I instantly noticed his pretty colored eyes._

_He turned around and looked at me. His eyes narrowed and his lips tightened around the corners as he caught my gaze. _

"_Who are you?" I asked._

_He smiled. It was really charming. "Edward."_

"_I'm Bella," I replied. "Why are you looking so sad?"_

"_I'm not!" he replied, standing up and angrily leaving my side._

"_I didn't mean to offend you!" I called after him, but Edward never gave me further chances to realize I really hadn't meant that in any bad way._

I sighed deeply and rolled onto my back, clutching the blanket to my chest. Those memories came crashing down on me like an ocean on a stormy day. No matter how hard I fought to keep them at bay, they never seemed to leave my mind.

I closed my eyes tightly and willed the sleep to come.

_June, 1999_

_It was six months after the Cullens moved to Forks. I had memorized well who was acquainted to whom. Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were all living together. They were all adopted. Alice and Jasper were very close. They always sat next to each other and played by themselves, but they were never mean to me. Rosalie and Emmett liked each other too. Edward seemed to like Tanya. He was often with her. _

_One day, when we were outside playing, I stared just a second too long at Edward. I had the courage, only because he hadn't been looked at me at the time. _

"_Stupid Bella," Tanya whispered. "What are you staring at?"_

"_I know," Lauren whispered. "Eddie!"_

_Tanya gasped. It sounded as if she had just found out the world was round instead of flat. Lauren mimicked her, and it looked ridiculous. They were trying to match clothes each day, and that wasn't enough. They wanted to match each other._

"_Bellie likes Eddie!" Lauren said._

_Edward was just sitting a few yards away from me. His head snapped to mine when he heard Lauren say this and he flipped me the bird. I quickly looked around with my mouth open, but two teachers were talking to each other on a distance, missing it all. I dropped my head and let my hair fall in front of my face, as I watched how all the other kids were playing._

_I noticed how Tanya instantly went to Edward and sat next to him. She looked at what he was doing. I didn't bother watching them any longer. Lauren had joined a few other girls I didn't know well, probably trying to get them to turn their back against me. Luckily, she never managed to actually get that far._

The memories never stopped. I remembered once Edward stole the painting I had drawn for Art class. He never gave it back to me and I received an F. My mind wandered back to the days they'd bump into me, or take my books away from me_._ It took me so long to find my stuff back, at places like the pond.

This bed. It held so many memories.

My night had been the worst in nine years. I never managed to fall asleep deeply, and I knew for a fact that if you slept very lightly, you would dream very much in just one night. All those nightmares had kept me half-awake.

The temperature in my room was an annoying mix of hot and cold, also adding to my insomnia. One moment I'd throw my blanket on the ground and spread my arms and legs around the bed to find a cool breeze, and next I'd grab the blanket, throw it over my body and curled up to find back some warmth.

Hearing my alarm clock ring gave me this huge urge to call in sick. Usually, calling in sick was the biggest no for me, it was just not done. Right now, I was more then ready to break my own rule, grab the phone and say I was going to be sick for the entire school year. However, that was just stuff I made up in my mind and would never dream of actually doing. Besides, Charlie might become suspicious and ask me questions I probably wouldn't want to answer.

When I realized I had been lying for ten minutes in bed, I jumped out for a quick shower. Now I felt the actual cold in my room and I grabbed the clothes I thought suited me the most out of my suitcase, which was still lying on the ground unpacked.

I knew that before I went _anywhere _near that high school, I needed to have at least one cup of coffee. If there was something that kept me awake and pushed away the stress, then that was coffee. Not even those bullies could take my coffee away from me.

"Damn it!" I said out loud in the kitchen. Didn't Charlie drink coffee? Where did he keep it, if he did have any?

I tried for another tactic and tried to find coffee milk. There wasn't any! I couldn't even find sugar.

_I am so going to buy coffee after school._

Well, if I made it to school in the first place, because it was almost eight o'clock now and I realized I had been searching for coffee way too long.

"Oh, damn."

I grabbed the keys to the truck that Charlie had put on the dining table – dropped them – picked them up and noticed the disgusting floors.

_And after buying coffee, I am going to clean this house._

_Okay, let's do this!_

As I opened the door and felt the cold raindrops fall on my face, my mind showed me the images of all those kids that I had last seen nine years ago. Suddenly, buying coffee wasn't such a big priority anymore.

If I ever wanted to make it on time, now was the time to leave and at least try and not get noticed by anyone. I could do that. I could try and be invisible.

_Shit._

This truck… this damn, lousy, loud, old truck was going to ruin it all for me. Charlie said he bought it, and I heard the name Jacob somewhere in those sentences, but I wasn't paying attention. Now that I was really sitting in this truck, I saw all the stupid flaws it had. Again, I wondered, why me? Why wasn't I a little stronger?

_No! Bella, don't think like that! You are strong!_

"I am strong," I whispered in the car. "Strong, strong, strong."

Charlie's directions were the easiest and I noticed the school from a distance. My hands started shaking as I neared the school. I gripped the wheel tighter.

_You are an adult and will handle this situation. But..._

I felt years and years of pain, turning into tears that made my eyes go watery. I quickly brushed my eyes, feeling my fingers go a little moist, and I told myself that this was not the time to cry. They may have walked over me in the past, and they may walk over me today, but I was not going to show them tears. That weakness was too much to show to such cruel people.

For the first time, I looked around and indeed, a few people were looking in my direction. My truck was loud, big and clearly noticeable. I could only come up with the reason that this _Jacob _person —Charlie had been talking about him last night — had owed this car, but had gotten rid of it because of the noises it made.

I tossed the strap of my black bag over my shoulder and straightened the light brown skirt I had put on this morning. It reached just above my knees and my high boots left almost no skin uncovered. The shirt I had on was tucked into the high waist line of my skirt. I tried to make myself presentable this morning, but still I didn't want the new classmates to think I was trying too hard.

I shook my hair and let my hair free of the pony tail I had previously wrapped it in. My hair fell over my shoulders — loose and wavy — reaching to my waist. It was still moist from the shower, yet I wasn't sure it would ever dry with weathers like these. It seemed like the sky was falling down.

I had only put a thin layer of mascara on in a desperate attempt to make my eyes more open. It was useless, the little sleep I had last night was obvious with it, anyway. It was the perfect mascara against water though, because no flood could fight against waterproof.

_Because that's what you want to worry about on a day like this?_

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. It was really going to happen. I forced my foot away from the gas pedal. We were all adults now. I could face them. I wasn't eight anymore, I was seventeen, practically a grown-up. Perhaps, I would even be able to interact with them.

A knock from beside me had me screaming from the top of my lungs, and I pressed my hand on my mouth to turn my breathing back to normal. I had been so deep in thought, even that light knock had sounded like an exploding bomb. I turned to the window and I saw a guy I didn't recognize looking at me very strangely.

Yeah, what kind of a reaction is that? Any person would wonder if they perhaps should run away and not bother with the weird girl in the stupid truck. Reluctantly, I opened the door and noticed how the boy quickly stepped aside.

"Hi, I'm Mike," he said. "I've never seen you here before."

"Hi," I said, staring at him. His blonde hair complimented perfectly on his light blue eyes. His face was a little chubby and it resembled that of a baby. That wasn't much of a compliment for him though, so I kept it to myself. Was this the Mike that had always tried to befriend Edward, but never managed? That was the only Mike I knew from the past. It seemed like he hadn't recognized me, if he indeed knew me.

When I woke up this morning, I had the urge to call in sick, but I didn't. When I arrived at school, I had to urge to drive back home, but again, I didn't. Now, I had to urge to give him any name except my own. Thinking real fast, I told him the first name I could have come up with, without thinking of further consequences.

"I'm R-Rebecca Dwyer." Feeling my face grow hot by the lie I just told to _Mike What-s-His-Name_, I stepped out of the truck and threw the door close.

"So what year are you in?"

"Senior," I replied after a moment. I first chose to ignore him, but didn't want to come off as rude.

"That's awesome, me too! What does you schedule look like?"

"I still have to go and get it from the administration, but you can run ahead."

This was the mega hint of all times. Mike was smart, because he caught the hint. "Oh."

"See you later," I murmured.

I quickly pushed open the door to get inside the building and immediately at the right side of the entrance, I noticed the administration's room. I went to it, knocked, and stepped inside.

The lady behind the computer was African-American. She didn't look up at me, but she must have heard the door open.

"Hello?" I asked. "I'm the new student."

"New student?" she asked, raising her eyes from the screen to watch me up and down.

"Yeah, I-eh, I live at Charlie's place," I said with a small stutter.

If I'm going to hell anyway, why not do it properly? What were a few more extra lies?

"I'm a friend of his daughter. I not here to finish high school, I'm here for a few months."

That didn't mean that I didn't regret them any less.

"Name, please?" she asked.

"It's eh... Rebecca Dwyer."

Damn it! I was supposed to be strong from day one, not try and hide behind a fake name. It was as if my head was filled with voices, all telling me different thing to do. They did this to me. They had made me this weaker person.

"Well, I'll need some ID the next time, just to put you in the system and I'll call Charlie as well. Just rules, sweetheart."

"Yes, okay," I mumbled, "but Charlie will be gone for a few days. You better try next week."

How much more lies could I even come up with? First I changed my name, then I changed my home situation into the one where I am Bella's "friend" and then I even pretended Charlie, one of the few police men here in Forks, was gone for a few days. And what even made it worse, was that the nice lady simply thanked me for the tip and now I could die from mortification.

She gave me a schedule after I told her which subjects I had, and I noticed that my first class was English.

I tried to find my classroom but at the same time tried to keep both eyes open for possible old enemies. All the while I noticed dozens of people walking all around me, barely noticing me. Just a few did look, but they only watched my briefly, due to my fast pace.

I really was hoping that I wouldn't hear somebody suddenly call my name, or watch me in recognition. Each time my eyes locked with another persons eyes, I felt my heart leap for a second. Then, they would look away and I would feel safe again for a few seconds.

Suddenly, out of a side corner, two girls walked right before me and I had to slow down drastically in order not to bump into them. The left girl had light brown hair, she was slim and tall. The girl beside her was just a tall, but she was a more beautiful girl, because her body was fuller like a real woman's body. It was the color of her hair that made me freeze at the spot.

Somebody behind me bumped into me and I stumbled forward. I didn't dare to look behind me, as I knew now that one of them had definitely found me. It all happened so fast, as I felt a hand on my shoulder and a boy's voice from behind me say, "Sorry!"

He walked past me, had a brief moment of eye contact with me, and he ran past those two girls I had noticed previously. I hadn't recognized the boy. His eyes were blue, he had a slender figure with a big backpack. He even seemed young, so it seemed like he wasn't in my year.

The girls suddenly laughed as they saw the boy ran past them and pointed.

"What a loser," the girl on the left said. The boy heard the girls, because he stumbled the way I had when he had bumped into me, but he quickly ran off until I lost sight of him. Slowly, I walked on as I tried to find my classroom, but I also kept a firm eye on the girls before me.

"Who needs so many books anyway?" the brunette said.

"Who cares?" the other girl replied.

Her personality had not changed at all. Tanya was just as much as a bitch as she had always been. But now was the first time I actually thought of her as a bitch. She really thought of herself highly, while being a girl with a personality like that, just made her uglier.

She had a follower, the brunette. I noticed how she was trying too hard to be on Tanya's good side. I could understand why any girl would want a friend as beautiful looking as Tanya. She still had that same strawberry blond hair. It was rapped in a high, messy bun hiding its length. I wondered how long it really was.

This girl could not possibly have turned any more good-looking then she was now. Just by seeing her from behind, I knew she had all the guys crawling in her direction. The worst part was, she probably knew this too. Somehow, I knew she was conceited. She had called a boy she probably didn't even know a loser. In a way, it was also really childish of her.

I tried to stand strong in my shoes, because maybe I could handle them one at a time, and also one a day.

However, that strength crumbled horribly as I heard a girl's voice.

"Tanya, Jessica, wait up!"

Both of the girls in front of me turned their heads, and I quickly dropped my head to my bag and pretended I was searching for something.

The girl that had called them walked past me in her tall heels and with quick strides she reached them. I heard them talking, but I wasn't sure who this tall, gorgeous girl was that had joined them. Her hair was blonde, but it seemed dyed.

"Rosalie, I have practice after class," Tanya said, tossing her hair over her shoulder with her left hand.

_No!_

Was this girl that used to have platinum blond hair _the _Rosalie? I hate to even think it, but she had become even more gorgeous than Tanya, and I already thought of Tanya as beautiful. Her clothes were grayish, with a white scarf. You could hear the heels of her shoes echo clearly in the hall. For a second my breathing hitched, because Rosalie turned her head, so that I caught the side of her face. She seemed almost angry, and now that I saw her face with that emotion, I knew there was no denying to it. This was the Rosalie, because I could never forget that look on her face Rosalie would get when she didn't get it her way.

From being in a rather calm state, my whole body tensed as a late reaction to finally realize that two of my bullies were actually walking in front of me. It had been nine years, but nine wasn't even that much of a large number, I knew that now.

It felt as if the problems I had left behind here in Forks nine years ago were my new problems now, and I would have to try and fix those in order to even live a normal, happy life. It was like in those novels where a ghost remained on earth, because he still had to do his unfinished business. He had to fix something, or else he would wander on earth until the end of time.

I also had unfinished business. Yes, I was able to wake up every morning, and yes, I was able to go back to sleep at night, but what really was I doing? Back in Phoenix, I had won prizes for my intelligence, and met a few famous professors. But I had always been one of those more quiet people, who didn't have many friends, had never had a boyfriend before or even just a date.

If I compared myself to other girls, I felt like in mind, I was younger, small, just a child. I was inexperienced. These three girls in front of me seemed self-aware. They knew they had it all and yet they chose to degrade people they didn't know.

They girls stepped inside a classroom which was the classroom I had been searching for. It had been predictable that I would have same class with them. It was a small school and I was bound to have same class with my former bullies. I just wondered why the rest of them didn't have English class as well. Of course for me it was fortunate, because I didn't want to see them all at once. I just didn't want to be scared of something that didn't deserve my fear. It was not my intention to be cruel in mind and stoop as low as they have, but it was inevitable to have thoughts like those when they had stolen three years of my childhood and nine years of my teenage life.

_Whatever may happen, it will by okay._

Another lie, I was sure.


	2. Him

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own the characters.

**Note: [Beta'ed and re-written by: b. krumova]**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 2 - Him<strong>_

When I stepped into the classroom most of the kids had already taken their places. I noticed Rosalie, Tanya and Jessica at the last two tables in the room. Instead of looking for a place to sit, I walked over to the teacher and told him my fake name. His name was Mr. Mason and he was a teacher in English. I blushed while doing so, but he told me not to be nervous and instructed me to sit on the third desk near the window.

"Angela?" I mumbled in surprise under my breath, when I spun around and my eyes fell on the dark haired girl with the cute pair of glasses. Although so many years have passed, she hadn't changed much. She had been nice to me most of the time. I had never called her my friend, but just like Alice and Jasper, she had never been cruel. Cruelty was a few other people's job; people I was now trying to avoid eye contact with.

When I sat next to her, all eyes landed on me.

_Did they recognize me? _I peeked around, only to catch a few unfamiliar eyes.

I wanted to slap my own face, because it didn't really matter. They _would _find out. Now or tomorrow, but with no doubt my deadline was next week. By then I would have to give the administration lady my ID. What would happen after then was something I'd rather not think about now. I was already in this too deep so thinking about it was like wasting energy.

"Hi," she said from next to me with her soft voice. "I'm Angela."

I put a smile on my face and looked her in the eye. She had grown into a pretty girl. I briefly wondered why she was sitting alone.

"Hi, Angela, I'm B-Rebecca," I said, quickly extending my hand, hoping she wouldn't say anything about my little slip. Luckily, she just took my hand and shook it.

"I didn't know we were going to have someone new at school," she said and I nervously laughed. "You know, with the size of this school, news like that would usually spread like fire." She didn't seem like she was expecting an answer, but more like gave me a way out of explaining myself. I hoped it wasn't that obvious that talking about the move was uncomfortable for me. However, I didn't want to seem like a freak, so tried to give her some explanation.

"No, yes, well, I didn't have much time and everything went rather fast. If you had asked me a few days ago where I'd be sitting right now, trust me, the answer wouldn't have been in a classroom at Forks High."

She freely laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. A few students returned their heads toward us. I noticed the teacher had begun his lesson and we didn't continue our conversation. I was taking notes, but when the class ended I had to say goodbye to Angela and go to the next one — Art. I was just walking through the door when a tiny girl with short black hair walked to my side and linked our arms together.

"Hi!" she said enthusiastically. "You're Rebecca, right?" she asked. I nodded my head in agreement. Her forwardness surprised me, but not as much as the fact she looked so familiar. Coming here, I knew I'd meet a lot of people from my youth, but her face stood out from my memories. Who was she? "I'm Alice Cullen, nice meeting you. I can't wait to hear all about you. It must be scary, being at a totally new place in the middle of the school year!"

I froze. This was Alice _Cullen_. Not only was she talking to me, but she also knew my fake name. This was obviously a small school like Angela had mentioned, but I wasn't sure if the reason why she knew my name was because of gossip _about me _or that simply Mr. Mason, Mike or even the administration lady had mentioned me to Alice. Still, this was a lot of guesswork and I doubted any of it was actually right. All I could tell with certainty was that this was Alice Cullen, she knew my fake name and she was neither a friend or a foe.

I gave her a timid smile and shook out of her hold on my arm. I sat down on the first available table I saw, forgetting all about introducing myself to the down next to me and pulled out her art book. Just my luck, I was sitting next to her. My eyes fell on her learn book again and I wondered where I would be able to buy all of the textbooks I needed.

"Did your school work with this book as well?" she asked, when she caught me staring.

"No," I said harshly. _I think my manners left me. _I knew I should have started with a clean slate and give Alice a chance to get to know me. Maybe we could begin from scratch one, maybe I could pretend nothing in the past had ever happened… however, none of that was true! We _did_ have past together. We _did_ go to school together. Her siblings and their friends _did_ bully me and even though this wasn't her fault, she never stopped them. In the least she didn't even apologize for their rude behavior. And I know she was just a child but so was I! I was the one left hurting, I was the one who never did experience a childhood with friends to play with, a childhood any _child_ deserves.

It was for the first time this day I felt something a little more then just anxiety and dread. The bitter feeling I felt — and even though I rarely felt it — was anger for all the wrong things they did to me. I didn't want to feel anger or dread, or any other emotion. It had been so long ago, but still it felt like all of it had happened yesterday. The emotions that kept coursing and changing were suffocating and I just knew I wanted it to be simple. I never wanted this much complexity in my life. I wanted for everything to change to simple, even if it was just for one day.

It didn't seem like Alice minded or even cared about my lack of social skills. "I have a spare book, you could have it," she offered. "My sister never used it and now she doesn't have art anymore. She never liked the subject."

"It's not necessary, because I'm going to have to buy a bunch of new books anyway and those few extra dollars are really nothing." There was no way I would be taking something that belonged to her sister, Rosalie. No way in hell.

She scowled. "It's really no trouble at—"

"No."

When I do get angry, I'm curt. I'd much rather just ignore the people I'm mad at, but right now that's not an option. I'm not one of those people who'd start shouting or throwing with stuff in my tantrums. I don't use violence and I don't curse. It's not who I am.

I would never know where I got my calmness from. Renée screams at people whenever she got angry and Charlie is usually on the verge of exploding and getting a heart attack all at the same time when hears something he doesn't like.

"Rosalie really won't mind, she's my sis—"

"I said no." I snapped one more time, and she shut her mouth. The anger still inside of me made it a little easier not to feel guilty toward Alice, who had no idea why I was being like this. That, combined with the fact I was somehow protecting her. If I got friendly with her, giving her the impression of wanting to be friends, then we would get too close with each other, which would end badly for sure once she knew I wasn't Rebecca. I was somewhere in her past as well, and though I didn't know her well, I did know she was warm, welcoming person. She never detested me, but I just didn't belong in her world, where every bit of our past together was twisted.

I instantly stood up and grabbed my bag when the bell rang, leaving Alice still sitting on her chair.

I was glad she didn't call back on me, which was something I would expect from a girl like Alice. She was a sweet girl, which in a way, also made me feel sad for her not calling back on me. I would have been nice to have a friend like that...

I had Trig, something that was not my favorite subject. Somehow, I did always manage to get B's, but I called it luck and waited for it to vanish. I wasn't the luckiest person in the world after all.

I got a little lost and somehow I had managed to walk into an empty hallway of sorts with no one around. I tried walking around corners and even opened a few doors to see if anyone was inside, but all those classrooms were empty. Did the school really have empty classrooms? In Phoenix the problem our school was facing was the lack of classrooms for all of the students there. I guess in a school as small as Forks High they had no problems like that.

After a while I finally noticed a guy walking right before me and vanish behind a corner.

"Hey!" I called. "Wait!" I ran as fast as I could in my boots and skirt. If I didn't hurry, I would be too late for class, and I really didn't want that kind of reputation on my first day of school. Also, I didn't want to admit to anyone that I was lost.

Finally I rounded the corner and found the guy with his back to me. Before him stood a girl I didn't know, her eyes all over him. This boy was really tall and lean, his hair seemed wavy and brown. I didn't have the time to look at more of his features, because the boy began talking and even I could feel the tension in the air.

"I don't even know why you would object."

His voice was quiet in my ears due to the distance, but I heard the patronizing hint in it. He crossed his arms, his head in the direction of the girl.

The girl's face was blank and she turned on her high heels, her blond loose hair jumping on her shoulders as she began walking away from him.

"Didn't stop you from moaning last time," he said, his voice carrying obvious laughter in it. The girl turned and showed him her middle finger. That girl was obviously angry. She noticed me for the first time, but hardly gave me any attention as she turned her back on the both of us. Seeing her face made me notice she was pretty young, sixteen perhaps, while the guy in front of me definitely looked and sounded older.

"Bitch." The girl didn't hear him, but I did. The guy was now running one hand through his hair.

My mouth dropped slightly at their encounter. I had to get away from here. I turned around, my shoes screeching with the floor. Quickly, I walked back, so I wouldn't run into the boy or the girl.

Curiosity made me turn my head when I reached the corner, to see if the boy was still there.

He was and he was staring at me. I stumbled over my own feet, which accidentally made me bump against the corner wall with my shoulder. It hurt, but I tried to keep on walking, just to get out of his sight. Something about him made me do that. He had some vibe around him that didn't want me to stay any longer around him then necessary. I walked away as fast as I could, even though I was already out of his sight. Seeing his face, even from that distance, was enough for me to see this guy was good looking. I hated to admit it, because his behavior was horrible. However, it didn't surprise me that he was able to talk to a girl the way he just did and get away with it. He could replace her easily with his looks. What terrified me was that his face was very familiar, but I couldn't tell who he could be. He had changed too much from the kids I knew years ago, but what I did know was that I knew this guy, because some of his features were too familiar not to forget.

My mind was too much of a fog right now to think clearly. His words kept running inside my head and I couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl and at the same time a jealousy toward her as well. Right now both feelings were equally balanced, but I told myself that soon the sorry would win over the jealousy, because what the guy had said was just too gross.

By accident I found a few people and quickly asked them the directions I was looking for. It didn't take me long after that to find my classroom and it surprised me that not so many people were there yet. I sat in the end of the classroom after quickly giving my teacher my name.

To my horror, five minutes after the class started, Rosalie walked in. Behind her followed Jessica like a good dog, following her master. I shook my head and wondered if today could get any worse. Just as I took a breath of relief, though, Tanya and one girl I hadn't met yet walked through the door.

Tanya and Rosalie tossed their purses and books on the table in front of me, before they sat down. The other two girls plopped down on their chairs on the table in front of Tanya and Rosalie.

When the teacher began explaining his lesson, they all turned around to face me. My breath came down short for a moment as they were watching me. I told myself that they didn't know me, but I wondered why they were looking at me in the first place. Rosalie and Tanya had both changed so much, but then, just for a second, I could see their younger faces straight in front of me, and every detail was clearly visible inside my head. This scared me so much, I had to break eye contact with them, just to keep my sanity.

"New here?" Tanya asked, speaking first.

I nodded my head, while playing with the ends of my bag. The nervousness was something I couldn't hide any longer, but as long as I tried to pretend I was calm, then maybe this wouldn't end that bad. They would probably leave me alone once they found out I was boring, because girls like them didn't like girls like me. It wouldn't surprise me if they were cheerleaders or played hockey or did whatever activity that _I _would never do.

"Where are you from?" she continued asking.

"Phoenix."

All of their mouths fell open. "You mean, incredibly hot Phoenix that gives you a gorgeous mother fucking tan?" Tanya asked, looking at her arms, which were already rather brown.

"Why would you come here if you could live _there_?" Rosalie asked, watching her arms as well. Her arms were even tanner then Tanya's, so I didn't know what they were complaining about. I was a little ashamed now for looking like an albino right now, which they thankfully couldn't see.

"It's a really long, boring story."

They all nodded their heads as if they understood. I couldn't understand why they were so interested in the new girl.

"Well, I'm Tanya, this is Rosalie, Lauren and Jessica. You are?" She sounded like she was doing a lot of effort to sound nice and I knew that she was just a fake, they all were.

I almost lost my cool when I heard Lauren's name. This was the third bully I met today. I forced myself to keep my straight posture. Right now, they didn't know me, so right now, I had no right being scared of just four silly girls who thought they owed the world, while what they actually really owed was daddy's credit card.

My lips remained straight. "Rebecca."

_Please shut up now, please leave me alone._

"Where do you live, Rebecca?" Rosalie asked, smiling as well. Obviously she had practiced more often to be nice, because her smile almost seemed real.

I sighed. Why didn't they stop? "I live with my Dad," I said slowly and thankfully, Jessica interrupted me with some strange comment about one of her hair ends splitting.

"Jessica, stop admiring your hair and answer the question," the teacher whose name I had forgotten said.

"What question?" Jessica asked, dropping her hair.

The three other girls turned and the teacher began an angry discussion with Jessica and that she would fail this year if she didn't at least pay attention.

"I love your outfit," Rosalie whispered to me.

"Oh," I mumbled with a scowl, looking down at my clothes. When I looked back up, her back was turned against me again. What left me wondering now was if she meant that or if she was sarcastic.

It was difficult to stay focused so instead I doodled on a piece of paper, effectively making the teacher think I was making notes, for he kept giving me approving nods.

Quickly after that class, I left them, going to Spanish. I was almost getting used to my fake name, as I had to say it again to the new teacher. She didn't introduce herself to me and seemed like a teacher who actually didn't care about her profession. She simply wrote down Rebecca Dwyer and pointed at a table in the middle of the classroom.

The four girls entered on time, not glancing at the teacher, as they walked to the end of the classroom. At least they didn't sit so close to me this time. I hated that fact we shared so many same subjects and also at the same hour. It was like we had something in common, which we did not.

Strangely, I was very calm. Maybe it was because my mind was somewhere else. There were still Edward and Emmett who hadn't talked to me. I wondered what Jasper looked like now. I could remember the times where he and Alice were inseparable.

The four girls were probably gossiping about me right now, but I didn't turn my head to them so often, because I had to tell myself I didn't mind.

The not-wannabe teacher told us there was a test next week. She also told us she was going to make sure it wasn't an easy one. Lovely. After that, she told us to leave, even though it was still five minutes before class ended. Nobody complained of course and left as fast as they could. I made a trip to my locker, which was the one completely on top. I had to stand on my toes to be able to see what number I was turning. The number combination was written on another piece of paper the administration lady had given me. It took me a few tries, but it finally opened and I put all my books inside the locker, except for Biology.

Slowly with reluctance, I went to the cafeteria.

"Rebecca, how's it been?" Mike asked from behind me. I only turned my head and smiled slightly.

"Fine, just fine, Mike."

"Lonely," he sang and then laughed. "Come sit at our table." He was pointing to a table with boys and girls that I had seen in a few of my classes. "The tuna sandwich is really good."

I looked at the brown mush on the white bread.

"Yuck." I shook my head. "I don't like tuna."

Mike laughed and pointed at another sandwich which was mostly covered with green stuff and lettuce. It didn't seem tasty either, but actually I wasn't really hungry, so I grabbed an apple with a box of orange juice.

"That's all?" he asked, taking the tuna sandwich with a coke.

"I had a big breakfast anyway," I said with a shrug.

Mike gave the cashier a ten dollar bill and told her he paid for the both of us.

"No, Mike, I can-"

But Mike already took the change and grinned when he looked at me. "Come on, Rebecca." He was already walking toward his table with both his and my food in his hands.

I followed him and he was already making introductions, leaving me no time to tell him I could have paid for my own lunch.

"Everybody, this is Rebecca, Rebecca, these are Angela, Seth and Taylor. Where's Eric?"

"Called in sick," Taylor said. He then held out his hand to me and I took it quickly when I had been staring at it like I wasn't sure what he was doing.

"Hi," I said, offering a tiny small.

"We already met," Angela said. "Too bad we weren't in any other classes together."

"Yeah," I mumbled, sitting down next to her.

My eyes went over them, but Mike joined the conversation between Taylor and Seth. They had been in a few classes of mine as well, I just couldn't remember which ones.

I had barely ever spoken to these kids when we were young. I didn't even know if they would remember _a_ Bella Swan. Probably not. It would be much better actually if they didn't even remember a Bella Swan.

"Where were you from, did you say?" Taylor asked.

"Phoenix," I quickly answered.

I didn't want this conversation to go on any further. I glanced around, noticing that around one particularly big table, mostly all my enemies were seated. I saw Rosalie, Tanya, Jessica and there with a blond guy next to her and I almost could tell for sure that was Jasper. But I noticed two other guys as well. One of them was the one I accidentally met when I was searching my trig class and the other one was big and bulky, laughing loudly at what the one next to him just said.

"Do you guys know any of those kids there at the big table?" I asked softly, feigning I was nonchalant.

"Oh, just cheerleaders and the Cullens," Angela said. "Oh no, wait, Alice is there too. She's not a cheerleader, though, like all the other girls you see over there."

"Cullens?" I asked, looking at the table.

"Yeah, one big, adopted family. Let's see." She was actually looking at the table bluntly. "I see Rosalie and Emmet. And Alice and Jasper, the pair that actually makes me believe the Cullens aren't just weird people. Edward and Tanya, however, Tanya isn't a Cullen." Angela laughed a little when she looked at me. "Maybe she would want to become one some day, who knows?"

Angela put her elbow on the table and put her chin on her hand.

"I wish this day was over already," she mumbled.

"What class do you have next?" I asked eagerly. I wouldn't mind being with her in the same class again.

"English, you?"

I grimaced. "I have Biology."

"Bummer," she murmured, taking a sip of her water. "Hey! You'll meet Edward. He's in your next class."

I lost all my appetite to even begin with my apple, so I stared at it as if it was a fascinating piece of fruit. I placed the box of orange juice behind the apple.

Taylor leaned over me and I looked at him strangely. "Cullens are staring at you."

I followed his eyes and most of the kids there were staring at me at me and at this, I snapped my head back. I dropped my eyes, looking at the apple again.

"They're still looking," Angela said. "Wow! Tanya and Rosalie are glaring. What's wrong with Jessica?"

"Stop staring back!" I said under my breath.

Mike turned his head as well and laughed.

"She's a pain," he said.

"You used to be her boyfriend," Angela pointed out. "No wonder she sees green."

"Yeah, that was before she sucked off Cullen's dick," he said with a shudder.

Seth coughed in his mouthful of food and Angela put her arms and head on the table, her shoulders visibly shaking. She was laughing.

"You okay, man?" Tyler asked, hitting Seth hard on the back. Seth was still coughing, but not so badly anymore.

"Emmett?" I asked. They all scowled and I looked down. "You said she sucked Cullen's… yeah, uh, did you mean Emmett?"

All of them laughed so hard, I had to hide my blush with my hair. Were they laughing at me?

"Emmett!" Mike said loudly.

"Really," Seth said with a shake of his head, still laughing.

I peeked at the table and again they were staring.

"Shut up," I said in a whisper but I don't think they heard and if they did, they didn't care.

"No, not him," Angela said with a shake of her head. "Not Emmett, he isn't really like that."

"Edward," Mike said. If it hadn't been so quiet in the cafeteria and Mike hadn't been so loud, nobody would have heard us, but the fact was that there was no doubt about them hearing us.

For just one more time, I looked and my eyes locked with the guy I had accidentally met. Recognition dawned upon his eyes, as he knew I was the girl that had bumped into a wall while trying to get away from him. I noticed one of the sides his lips turn up, while he never broke eye contact, but I did. The same feeling I had felt previously was there under my skin again. It was that vibe around him again that gave me this instinct that I had to run away from him.

I turned my head, away from the boy I now for sure knew was Edward, but still hoped that maybe, this was just a friend of Edward. I didn't stay around to ask Mike or anyone else on my table, because according to Angela, Edward was in my classroom, so there was no way in escaping him.

"I remember… I had an appointment with a teacher!" I said, getting up and almost running away with my bag.

"Rebecca, you forgot-" Mike's voice had called, but I walked away, _fled._

Whatever I had forgotten, it was worthless. I didn't care about it.

There were still fifteen minutes until lunch was over, so I walked through the building, exploring it a little. I went from one toilet to another, killing time. These toilets, even if they weren't the same, still reminded me of what happened nine years ago, right before I left to Phoenix. I wondered why I didn't feel everything rushing back, but I quickly came to the conclusion: In moments like these, I felt void. Seeing _them _or thinking about _them _was different, but thinking about the memories that had happened and would never be changed, gave me nothing but an empty feeling.

When there was only five minutes left, I noticed on my schedule I had to go to the third floor. This part of the school only contained two classrooms, and the other rooms were mainly for the teachers. I was the first to be there, just as a teacher came, smiling at me.

"Hi, I'm Mr. Banner," he said.

"Rebecca Dwyer," I mumbled.

"I don't think we have met?"

"It's my first school day."

"Oh, that's why. How is everything this far?"

"Fine," I said with a smile, hoping it seemed genuine.

"I assume you have Biology, or are you headed to Physics?" he said with a head nod toward the other classroom.

"Not physics!" I said, shaking my head. I wasn't any good at that subject. "I do have Biology."

He put his keys inside the lockers, unlocking the door and walking in first. "I will be your Biology teacher this year. Are you good at Biology?"

"I took an advanced class in Phoenix," I mumbled and he actually looked excited.

"That is excellent. There is only one seat available in my class, second desk to the windows." He pointed toward the table and I sat there. Just as I rested my head on my bent hands, people started coming in, talking loudly and making me grit my teeth.

This was obviously a stuffed class, since there was only room for one more student, but did I have to be the unlucky one to get stuck in the biggest, loudest classes? I wasn't used to this. I was used to small classes, that's the way it was at my previous school.

I looked around, searching for the boy that was probably Edward, but he wasn't here. Maybe Angela was mistaken. Maybe Edward didn't have Biology.

"Okay class, I hope you have studied the pages I have-" Mr. Banner began.

The door burst open when the bell rang, and my heart skipped a beat. He was here and the only seat available was next to me. This had to be one big joke, it just had to be.

The boy raised one eyebrow at Mr. Banner, almost challenging him. Obviously this wasn't the first time he made it before the bell rang.

"Almost-" Mr. Banner began.

"Just in time," he interrupted, walking as if he owed the damn place. He walked behind my chair and I quickly jerked forward when I felt him brush against me. He pushed back his chair and sat, sighing deeply. Pushing back his hair with both of his hands and stretching out his legs, his head slowly went to me and he raised one eyebrow.

I quickly turned my head when he caught me staring.

"Oh, hello," he said, as if he had just noticed my existence and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn his whole body to me. I stopped breathing and felt my hands get sweaty at this full attention he was giving me. It was as if any moment now he would say _Bella Swan_ and I would probably run to my car.

"What's your name, Coco?" he asked, expecting an answer.

I blinked and was dumbstruck. What do I say? Don't introductions usually begin with the person saying their name first? And what the heck is Coco?

His eyes travelled from my head, to my chest where he openly stared at my breasts, down to my stomach and legs and then slowly back up, until he reached my face. His face turned very slightly in a frown.

"Rebecca," he slowly said, turning his head to the side, watching me curiously.

Did I say my name out loud without knowing? I couldn't remember telling him my sit next to him at lunch, but they couldn't have possibly talked about me, could they?

"You know, Coco, I would swear we have already met once." He paused. "And I don't mean the other two times I saw you today."

I shook my head. Too quickly and quite too violently. I was too afraid to talk, in case my voice would be too high or worse, not come out of my mouth at all.

He shrugged it off. "If you say so. I would give you my name, but I guess you already know who I am."

My mouth fell slightly opened, to tell him that I didn't, but then I thought _he knows. He remembers me. He knows I'm Bella, not Rebecca._ Why else would this guy – who was most likely Edward – say that I already know his name?

My breathing turned faster, and I snapped my head towards the whiteboard. Mr. Banner had written down a lot already, but all of this had passed without my notice. But I had changed, hadn't I? How could he know that I was Bella?

I sensed Edward lean closer to me.

"Well, Coco, I was there too in the cafeteria when Newton called my name, so the two of you must have been talking about me. Right?"

When I heard him say this, I let out the breath I was holding and relaxed.

I sighed in relief. He had heard Mike at lunch. That was all to it. That was the only reason he said I knew his name. He knew I had been talking about him in some way with Mike, but he had no clue that I was Bella.

It sounded like Edward had just mocked me, but even that didn't bother me. All I could think of was that he hadn't recognized me like I had previously thought he had. To him, I was still Rebecca.

"I'm Edward Cullen. Your lover told me you forgot this and asked me if I could give it to you _as soon as possible_. How sweet of him?"

Now there was no doubt to that anymore. I was trying to fool myself into saying this might be just some other guy, but now that wasn't possible anymore. This really was Edward.

In his hand he held the apple that I'd left at the cafeteria. Mike had called for me and told me I'd forgotten about something. How on earth could he even call Mike my lover, I only just met that guy!

As Edward probably got tired of waiting, he put the apple on the table between us. I looked at his shoulder, and then back at him. He was still sitting rather close to me. My hand was at the button of my skirt, twisting it in nervousness. His eyes went to my hand and then back at me. For a moment I stared into his green eyes. This closeness made me see the exact detail of that color, which was actually a dark green. I was brought out of my stupor by his following words.

"I know those eyes," he said rather accusingly and a little irritated. I dropped them instantly and turned my head away stopping him from looking into my eyes he just accused of _knowing_. I didn't know what to say, and looked hysterically at the door, then I looked at my hands and at last, back at him. I shook my head as some kind of an answer. I wanted to tell him I had one of those face. That he was just imagining it. But I couldn't. I had lost all capability of talking to him.

He smiled at me — the first smile he had ever given me_ in my life_, as he slowly pulled himself away from me and leaned against his chair. He was the statue of calmness, something I envied at the moment, because I was quite the opposite. He had a foot on a knee, was sitting low on his chair with his head hung back and he had his arms crossed over his chest.

I tried to sit still, but inside I was shaking.

~x~

Was this just déjà vu?

Feeling like you knew the person, but in fact you've never met her?

Why was she sitting on that chair, with her back stiff?

She was breathing heavily and I gave her the space she probably needed, by simply ignoring her.

No word had slipped through those full, too white and too tightly pressed on each other lips.

She wanted to say something, that was obvious as well.

Her whole body looked like it was preparing itself, only to give up the next second.

Then, there was something else I noticed.

I had noticed it earlier, but now, it was just plainly written on her face.

She's afraid.

_What is Coco hiding?_

~x~


	3. Selfish

_**Disclaimer**: Not my characters_

_**A/N**_**: **It's been some rough days, the delay is my fault entirely. Lot's of thanks to the greatest Beta.

**Note: [Beta'ed and lots of re-writting by: b. krumova]**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 3 - Selfish<strong>_

I was watching the minutes slowly go by, and even though I wasn't able to calm myself down, I tried to look at the words written on the whiteboard. The effort was meaningless, because as soon as I would read them, I would also forget about them. I couldn't get over the fact that he was there, next to me. He wasn't talking to me anymore, he wasn't even looking, but that was just it! He was ignoring me, yet I knew that this was not the end of it. That was why I wanted to get out of here right now, but I couldn't, so instead I counted the time that was left.

It was any minute now. Still, time seemed to go even slower, when I counted the seconds left. I had gathered my notebook and pen, and when the bell rang I was out of the chair and bolting out of the door. I must have looked ridiculous, being the first to leave and walk as fast as if I had the devil chasing me. I was going to the toilets. I knew I was hiding, but I needed a little time to collect myself.

I dropped my bag along with my books on the counter by the sink and clutched my hair with both my hands. I was mad at myself, mad at this weak form of me. Mostly I was mad at Edward, who was causing me to feel miserable again, without even knowing. I was feeling sick, but tried to keep everything inside my stomach. It's simply mind over matter. I hated the nausea that was caused by my nervousness. Occasionally, I would feel a chill go up my spine and these clothes did nothing to keep me warm.

It was lack of sleep that made me feel like this as well. Whenever I had a bad night, with or without the nightmares and I've had several - I would be nauseated, dizzy and cold. However, lack of rest was just a small reason why I felt like this. The biggest reason was walking around in this school building.

I knew I was in here for too long and didn't want to be late for class. With some force, I was able to subdue the nausea and I slowly grabbed my books, putting them in my bag.

I found my schedule in the bottom of my bag and noticed I had the subject I most likely hated the most. Gym.

Finding the gymnasium was not a problem. I found a teacher I hadn't met before and asked her which way I had to go. She told me to go to the first floor and eyed me curiously. I scowled but ignored the look she was giving me and kindly thanked her. I didn't know quite sure how I could participate if I didn't have any clothes.

Carefully I opened the door that would lead me to the girl's changing room but there was only one girl in there. She jumped up instantly when she saw me and gave me a bright smile. _Alice_.

"Becca, I've got some clothes for you that you could wear in gym. I always bring an extra pair, you know?"

_No, I don't know._

"Our teacher is very strict and it would be better to at least play along today."

I stared from the girl to the clothes she was holding in one hand. They were identical to the ones she was wearing. The nickname she used for me was the last thing I wanted to be called. It resembled my real name too much. The actual fact that she _always _brought an extra pair of gym clothes was beyond me. With all this new information I tried figuring out Alice, why she would still act friendly around me, when I was nothing but rude to her.

"Um, I'll just put them here," she quickly said, putting them on the bench. "Shoes are there; hope you don't find it gross, because I wore them a few times."

And then she walked to the door almost as fast as she had talked. After another blink of my eyes she vanished. The clothes were a simple black leggings with a grey shirt that had the Forks High's logo printed on the front. I didn't want to wear her clothes, but I did think it was wise to listen to her warning. If we had a strict teacher and I had clothes to wear, it was better to make a good impression and just put those clothes on.

It was another odd thing that the clothes seemed brand new. For a moment I felt utterly bad for acting like this to Alice, so selfish and arrogant. She was kind and thoughtful. She had taken it upon herself to even think about my problem that I wouldn't have anything to wear for gym. But I only felt bad as _Rebecca_. I was Bella, not Rebecca, and in this situation, Alice wasn't the victim, even though I hated to see myself as a victim. While being Bella, I didn't feel sorry for her at all. Her clothes fitted me and the shoes were a little tight, but I would survive it for an hour. Clothes I could maybe understand, but who would bring an extra pair of shoes?

I walked into the gym, hoping nobody would notice that I was late. The teacher turned around to stare at me when the door closed behind me loudly. She stopped talking and watched me with some form of expectation. Everyone at the gym was now watching me and I felt uncomfortable under their stare. I avoided most of their eyes and only looked at the teacher.

"I'm Be-Rebecca Dwyer." At this rate, chances were high _I_ was going to be the one giving my real name away.

"Berebecca?" she asked.

My eyes widened as I heard few of the girls laughing. This was really, really embarrassing. My cheeks went red and I so badly hoped my blush wasn't visible.

"I love the new ones, they're always fun," she continued. I had no idea what to think of that statement. The woman was very tall with broad I wouldn't call her fat, but something about her appearance was catching. Maybe it was her short haircut, which was a dyed blond with a little black in it. "Same teams as last week, starting now!" She blew her whistle and threw a basketball into the field.

I walked over to her to ask her what I was supposed to do, but before I reached her, she whistled twice. Everybody stopped. They hadn't really started playing yet, but they just froze in place and looked at her. It was obvious that they were waiting, while she was scanning her eyes around the group of people. I was looking at her and wondering how she managed to get everybody to listen so well. They didn't even talk. In Phoenix, students would use any moment to talk when the gym teacher was preoccupied by something else. "Mike, Edward, which one of you would like to take her in his team?"

My mouth almost dropped at the mention of Edward's name. The same feeling of nausea as before started rising up in me. _He's here?_ "Look, I'm not feeling so well—' I started, but she interrupted me. No, she ignored me.

"Well?" she barked. "Who'll have her?"

Did she have to say it like _that_? It sounded awful, as if I were an object.

"I wouldn't mind having her," Edward said, with a hint of teasing.

I was shocked, bewildered and suddenly very scared. When I turned to the direction Edward's voice came from I was surprised to see not only Mike, but Edward walking toward me as well. I understood why Mike was doing it, but I had a hard time placing Edward's reasoning.

I had given them only a short glance, but I saw that both boys were wearing the same gym uniform as I was, the only difference being the sweatpants. Mike was wearing black sweats and after a quick scan in the gymnasium, I noticed all boys were wearing the same sweatpants as Mike was. Edward was the exception though, because he had on a black boxing shorts.

There came a hand on my upper arm and I couldn't help myself to instantly see who it was. I sighed in relief when it was only Mike. It felt as if he was already trying to guide me toward him so that I wouldn't be close to Edward. I took a small step toward Mike.

I was beating myself up for not seeing Edward in class sooner. It took me by surprise and those were not good for people in my situation. Surprises meant I didn't have enough time to prepare myself and knowing _me_, I would probably reveal my true identity like I almost did before while introducing myself.

Slowly, a soft touch came around my other upper arm, and I knew this had to be Edward. Now both of them were holding me. I was frozen in place as I had no idea why they were even holding me. I felt like I was in the middle of something that was only between Edward and Mike.

"I'd do a much better job. You've already got your hands full with your own team," Mike said.

Edward chuckled. "I do doubt that, _Mike_."

"Well, don't."

Mike hissed the last part and for a moment I felt a tighter pressure on my left arm, the one Edward was holding. His fingers were touching me right under the hem of the sleeve. His hand was warm on my bare skin, but slowly his hold was becoming painful and I blanched when it became too painful. He loosened the hold he had on my arm, but didn't take his hand off of me. On the contrary, he made gentle circles with his thumb where he had just squeezed me. Momentarily, I was so shocked; I had to look up to see if it was really him standing there.

My eyes landed on his face only he wasn't looking down at me. He was looking at Mike with a small smile on his full lips.

"Then take her," he said, letting go of me and taking a step back. "Have her." After saying this, he had a smirk on his lips, but his eyes remained on Mike.

It was crazy, because I wouldn't be in Edward's team, but still did I feel adrenaline run through my veins like crazy. It made no sense to me why I should feel worried, but then again, I was his opponent now. I glanced back and his form was retreating from me toward his own team. I saw everybody I had noticed at the big table at lunch were in Edward's team, along with a few others.

"All right, let's get started!" the coach said.

"Rebecca, I assume you know the rules?" Mike said hurriedly, while we walked toward his team.

"Yeah, sure," I said, looking around at my teammates. I noticed Angela, Seth and Taylor. The rest I had seen in a few of my classes, but I couldn't put names of the faces.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the rules because PE had never been a subject I really cared for back in Phoenix. I always caused accidents, big or small ones, either on myself or somebody else.

"Okay, the other team members are already covered, so you can go solo, okay?"

"Yeah… wait, what?" I scrunched my face in confusion.

"Look, everybody stays close to one," at this he brought up his pointer finger, "member of the other team. But now it's twelve against eleven, because you came in my team, so you can go solo. You don't have to cover anyone. The other team won't see you as a threat."

"Why?"

He smiled apologetically. "You aren't very tall. And after all..." He pointed around a little, as if it was obvious. "This is basketball."

"Are you done chit-chatting, ladies?" Coach said from beside us. I jumped at hearing her voice. I realized that we have been watched by nearly everyone. I caught Edward's eyes and quickly, very noticeably, turned my back on him because I was blushing, again.

"I was just saying—" Mike started, but the coach cut him mid-sentence.

"Shut it and start the game!" she yelled. I felt a little sorry for Mike, but he wasn't offended because he brought his eyes up in an eye roll.

The game started and Edward quickly ran to Emmett, whom I noticed for the first time. Emmett nodded once at whatever Edward told him. I looked around, unmoving from my place, and saw that the ball was currently in our basket side. I didn't really care if we lost this game, so I didn't break a sweat when they almost scored. I crossed my arms and held in a yawn. An outsider might even think I was not part of the game.

My eyes suddenly snapped to a figure running in my direction. Was the basketball behind me? I quickly took a few steps aside, and somehow I was closer to my teammates now. Edward ran past me and I followed his movement, but he didn't run any further. He stopped a few feet behind me. I didn't look at him for long, but looked at the field. The ball kept going from one side to another. Edward didn't even try and keep it away from our side. I sensed him come closer, so I ran toward the other side of our basket. After a glance back, Edward was still behind me. This time he was looking back at me. I scowled and turned my head to find Emmett, who was covering two of my teammates easily. That's what Edward had done. He had told Emmett to cover his opponent so he could cover me. At least, that's what I thought he had done. However, any person could see that I would never get a hold of that ball, let alone make a goal. I wasn't even standing close to them.

The ball came flying in my direction, as if somebody heard my thoughts, and I had to catch it, because I didn't want my teammates to hate me for losing this game. I could have caught it easily, but Edward's long arms caught the ball a foot above me, where my short arms did _not _reach. He threw it back to Emmett who scored instantly.

I was in shock to say the least, because even though he hadn't touched me with a finger, I was still breathing hard from what had just happened. For a second I had been partly in the big circle of Edward's arms, but then I remembered what he had actually done. Though I did not care for losing this game, I did mind if Edward snatched the ball away from me.

Did they realize how unfair this was? I had _Edward_ covering me and I would neverbe able to get the ball away from _him_. Did nobody even consider changing partners? I could cover Alice. That would be much fairer. I noticed that Mike had Alice covered and even though they weren't teammates, they were actually talking to each other, rather civilly.

Somebody dropped the ball and I ran toward it, just so I didn't have to stay around Edward. However, he caught up with me. I ran even faster, my eyes trained on the basketball. He was not going to win this time.

Edward pushed me slightly — which was probably nothing more than a soft knock with his hand — but it sent my flying sideways because of the speed I was running. I fell hard on the side of my body and the impact kicked the air out of my lungs.

The worst part of it all was that Edward knew I had fallen, but no, he did not stop to pick me up, even look back to see if I was all right. He ran to the ball himself and this time threw it to Jasper, who made a goal. They scored yet again.

I watched the ball bounce and glared at it._ Screw them. All of them._ I stood up angrily as I saw Edward standing in front of me with his palm up, bright smile on his face. Did he honestly think I wanted his help?

He noticed my anger and actually smiled and withdrew his hand while I stood up. "Haven't you heard? All is fair in love and war."

The ball was rolling toward us and he didn't see it because his back was turned against it. I did have a clear vision and told myself that I could do this. I could make a goal, or at least try. With all this new found energy, I decided to do something drastic, because I needed to win this time. I had to win from him.

That's why I talked to him for the first time in nine, whole, devastating years.

"Then don't take _this_ personally."

His eyes widened slightly and I was impressed with myself for surprising him. He was always so composed, never letting an emotion cross his features.

I ran for the ball and when I finally had it in my hands, I threw it towards the basket without turning to see if Edward was close to me or not. My teammates cheered when the ball fell into the basket.

I smiled and high-fived everyone that came to me, because they were holding their hands up and telling me I did a good job. It was Edward who made my smile disappear as he came to stand next to me and glare.

Apparently, he wasn't glad I scored. I wanted to repeat his previous words, _all is fair, right?_ However, something inside of me told me that that wouldn't be a wise choice. I was already pushing my luck with Edward.

While he was staring at me, I noticed a boy from my team make another goal. Edward could have easily stopped him, if he wasn't glaring down at me. I couldn't help but smile when I saw the ball bouncing on the ground as my team again cheered.

2-2.

We were even now. We could even win this. I could win this from Edward.

Edward growled and yelled for his team to gather together. Seeing this, Mike waved his hand as well and called us out.

"Nice goal, Rebecca; yours, too, Taylor. We need to beat them. Sam, try and help Rebecca with Edward." So they had noticed I had trouble covering Edward. "Seth, keep an extra eye on Jasper and Emmett. The rest, keep the ball away from our basket and throw it in theirs!" They all screamed as they ran out of each other, taking their positions back on the field.

"Why the enthusiasm?" I asked Mike.

"If we win this, we'll get a straight A for gym."

My eyes widened. Why did I not know that? I could use that.

"Let's do this!" I said with much less enthusiasm than the rest of my teammates.

Mike chuckled. "Cullen isn't giving you hard time, is he? I'm not sure why he suddenly wanted to cover you."

"I manage," I quickly said.

Coach blew her whistle and I bolted for the ball that was now being dribbled by Emmett. Right now, my small frame was the best thing a person could wish for while playing basketball, because I easily pushed it out of his hands. I thought Emmett had actually not even seen me and I ran while dribbling it. I hoped this was allowed, since most of the rules were forgotten by me.

"Tiny new kid is good!" I heard him say from somewhere far behind me now.

Someone appeared in front of me and I made a dash to the left and quickly searched the basket after I had a grip on the ball and threw it without having another rational thought that I perhaps would not even make a goal. It fell into the basket, without touching the ring. The first pair of eyes I caught were Rosalie's and she was glaring. However, the game soon continued, and she ran back to her side of the field.

Angela called my name and the ball was coming in my direction. I was about to catch it, when something, _someone, _held my hands behind my back and when the ball was just above me, the hand that had held both of my wrists let go of me to catch the ball. I turned to the one behind me, only to see the misfortune of a goal being made from the long distance by Edward.

He instantly turned and smirked at me. This was not anymore a battle between two teams. It was a battle between him and me.

I turned a little so that I could run around him but he grabbed my arm and I looked up with big eyes at the strength he was holding me. He slightly scowled and released my arm, giving me the ability to pull back.

"Rebecca!"

It was Angela's voice again, but I was too much in a haze to look why she called me.

Then, my head snapped to the side and I felt a pain over my whole right cheek. It began to get hot fast and I saw the ball bounce happily away from me. My neck was soar as well due to the hard snap it just received.

"Oh, Becca, I'm so sorry!" I heard Alice call. My hand was plastered on my cheek, trying to soothe the pain with my cold fingers. "Edward! You were supposed to catch the ball!"

"Shut up, Alice," he replied harshly. "You okay?"

No, I was not okay. I was angry, hurt and everything was unfair in this stupid game of basketball. First Edward sent me flying to the ground. My shoulder was still sore from the hard fall. He caught the ball above me, he held my hands back so I couldn't catch it, again, and _then_ he didn't catch the ball, so instead, it hit me on the cheek.

I looked Alice in the eye with the fury that was raging inside me. She did it again. She called me Becca. The name itself was mocking me for resembling my real name so much. "_Don't_ call me Becca."

I looked at the field, seeing Mike hold up his hand but I just gave a small wave to tell him I was okay and ran away from the two Cullens. It was just a ball and besides, I've had worse. My head was really pounding, but if we stopped now the attention would be laid too much on me and I didn't want that.

Seth scored but this time I didn't smile, even though inside I was satisfied. I touched my own cool fingers against my hot cheek.

"Are you okay, Coco?" Edward asked again from behind me. Wasn't this guy going to leave me alone any time soon?

I turned, and without really looking him in the eye hissed, "Stop calling me Coco."

Somehow I managed to take possession of the ball again but I knew I couldn't make the goal.

"Throw it, Rebecca!" Tyler called.

"I won't make a goal," I said desperately, but turned and threw it anyway. It fell into the basket, again, and I wondered if this was real. I couldn't even call it beginners luck, because it wasn't my first time I played basketball.

My teammates were beyond happy now. Coach blew her whistle and screamed, "Team Mike, won! Unfortunately."

I gaped at the woman. She had a problem with Mike that much was obvious.

"Well done," Angela said, and then running away towards another girl, happily chatting with her. The girl next to Angela turned to me.

"Thanks for the A! You rock!"

"Great job!" Taylor said, running to the boys changing room.

Rosalie and her lemmings had just lost an A and they minded a lot, because they were all glaring at me as Rosalie gave the basketball to the coach. I ran to the changing room before she could catch up with me. I quickly pulled off the grey shirt and legging and put back on my own clothes. I dumped every other clothing in my bag. I put on my leg warmers and boots and looked up to see Angela watching my cheek with a pained look on her face.

"Your cheek is awfully red," she said. "I tried to warn you when Alice threw it. She isn't the best thrower."

"Hey!" Alice said from behind me. "Edward should have caught it, if he wasn't staring at Rebecca."

My eyes widened, but I didn't let them see the shock I was in by letting my hair fall in front of my face. I put the shoes next to her. "I'll give you back the clothes tomorrow. Bye." I walked towards the door and opened it, being the first to leave.

When I sat in my car, I first waited until it warmed up. I realized my mistake for waiting, because Edward walked out of the building. Tanya, Lauren and Jessica were talking, probably to him, but Edward's mouth did not move once. I wondered for a second if he even liked being around those girls.

Emmett and Jasper were behind Edward, the _thing_ that was walking in only jeans and no sweater. Rosalie slowed until she was walking next to Emmet, but the girls were clinging on to the half naked boy. Why wasn't he wearing any sweater? It was freezing and raining.

My eyes landed on his chest, and I quickly had to look away. It felt like I was staring, even admiring somebody that did not deserve that. The girls he deserved were clutching onto him right now.

I let my hair drop in front of my face and reached for my seat belt and looking down while I fastened it. The sounds my car made when I started it were so embarrassing, I wanted to laugh. I pulled the car out of the parking lot and drove off without a second glance.

At home, I searched on the internet the books I would need and ordered them. I also found the clothes I would need for gym. This was one expensive joke, but I had to have them. Education was key, or so I heard.

When I finished digging through the website, I wrote an email to my mother.

_To: Renée  
>From: Bella<em>

Hi. How is everything in Florida? Everything here's fine, you wouldn't believe how the house hasn't changed. Are you doing fine? How's Phil? Don't know if I'll be able to email you tomorrow.

Kisses,  
>Bella<p>

I hit send. When Charlie got home, he didn't call for me, so I walked down myself.

"Hi," I said. "How was work?"

"Hi," he said, looking up from the television. "The same. How was school?"

I was not in the mood for lying. "The same."

While I was lying in the bed that night, I thought about my name, the real one and the fake one. My last thought before I fell asleep was that it would have been nice if I could stay Rebecca Dwyer for the rest of this short Senior year.

I woke with a gasp at a nightmare I was already forgetting, which I was grateful for. I ran to the shower because water usually made me forget the nightmares completely. I hadn't checked the time when I went to the shower, but it was already half past seven. I dried my hair, but the problem with my hair was that I had too much of it and it was too thick to dry completely. I pulled out the first pair of jeans I found. I searched for a black undershirt, because the brown V-neck pullover I wanted to wear would reveal too much cleavage.

I grabbed my bag and threw in the washed clothes from Alice in the bag. Downstairs I saw that I had around thirty minutes to make it to first class, so I made a sandwich. I wasn't really that late.

Outside it was freezing. Soon I would even see snowfalls, something I hadn't seen for years. With chattering teeth, I made it to the parking lot and threw the door closed as I ran through the pouring rain to the entrance. I found my classroom and the door was luckily still open. I was about to walk to my seat, when I noticed another boy was already seated next to Angela. This then must be Eric.

"Hi," I said to them, and sat two tables behind them, where nobody had taken place yet.

I was tired, even though I did catch enough sleep. However, having nightmares made no change to how many hours of sleep I got, nightmares drained me out of energy and this day had only begun. If classes were fun, I could have enjoyed them and time might go faster. But it was quite the opposite and I was staring more often at the clock then at the whiteboard.

Finally when this class was over, I went to Art. This class was actually quite fun. We had to draw in silence and I made the face of a child, her eyes somewhat down and lost, her face the one who cares no longer about life. Behind her face, three girls were having the time of their lives. But, it was at the cost of the broken one. The one that was clearly unhappy. I wouldn't consider myself a good drawer. I just did what the teacher taught me and remembered the tips. More shadows around the neck. A little less on the forehead. And then you have a face. It didn't look like me at all, but I knew better. I was drawing me.

"That is so beautifully sad."

I turned my head to Alice and she looked at the drawing with admiration. I gave a timid smile. I didn't do compliments very well.

Alice looked up from the drawing. "It's so good, Rebecca. So beautiful."

I noticed her drawing. It was clearly herself, wearing a huge hat — one that blocked the sun. Jasper next to her and had his arm around her shoulders. Next to him stood Rosalie, the side of her body was noticeable with her arm tight around Emmett, her cheek against his chest. Next to that was Edward staring up a little dreamily and not paying attention to what surrounded him. They were in Disneyland, probably the one in Paris. Above her drawing laid the picture; they looked like a happy family. They also looked younger, probably around sixteen or seventeen.

"Thanks for the clothes," I said as I pulled them out of my bag and placed the on the table.

"It was no trouble. I'm glad your cheek didn't turn blue. Basketballs are really dangerous."

"Yeah," I mumbled. I grabbed the drawing and gave it to the teacher. I noticed how she opened her mouth, but I was already a few feet away. After I had my bag, I went to next class.

I avoided most of my classmates for these next two hours. I mostly avoided Rosalie, Tanya, Jessica and Lauren. The subjects were too vague for me. With Trig, the numbers were there, but that didn't mean I understood how they changed every time into something else. And Spanish was even worse, because my only knowledge were the few basic words and some grammar.

Lunchtime meant one more lesson to go, except this lesson would include Edward. I was waiting in the line when Alice appeared beside me. I grabbed a sandwich with a coke. My plan was to go to my car and have lunch there.

My heart skipped a beat when she said, "My family is over there, let's go."

She stopped walking when she realized I wasn't following.

"Oh, come on, Bec-Rebecca," she said. She laughed a little nervously, probably because she almost called me Becca. "They don't bite."

I looked at the table, seeing Emmett with Rosalie and Jasper. Jasper was looking at us both and smiled at me.

"Edward!" she said happily. "Convince Rebecca to sit at our table."

Quickly, I put the sandwich and coke back. "I..." I looked at Alice, thinking for a second, my hand half up in the air, "have to go." I pointed towards the exit of the school. Alice looked very confused and I didn't get to see Edward's face.

I turned and almost ran out, to my car where I sat and searched for my music. I glanced at the clock. Listening to music is known for killing time. I was supposed to be in Biology in five minutes. However, I wasn't ready yet for that lesson.

I sighed and forced myself out of the car before walking around the hallways that would lead to my next class. When I reached the final corner, I saw Edward was walking in front of me. He hadn't noticed me yet.

He reached the door and opened it. After looking inside the class, he turned his head with a scowl. When he saw me though, he opened the door completely and held the doorknob while watching me approach him. This was really bad. If he went in first, people wouldn't notice me that much. Instead I had to go in first. I quickly stepped inside the classroom and he followed, closing the door behind him.

"Edward, Rebecca," Mr. Banner said. "Take your seats." He didn't sound pleased, but I couldn't form an apology. "Let this be your last time, Edward." He was staring pointedly at the boy behind me.

"Of course," Edward said in a sweet voice.

"And I do not want you to cause that girl to be late again, is that understood?"

"That girl is late because of herself," Edward said. "Not me."

I had reached my table by now and now I didn't see Mr. Banner's face anymore. I couldn't believe he was blaming Edward for me being late.

"I asked, is that understood?"

"You'd have to ask her."

Mr. Banner sighed angrily but didn't continue the discussion.

I sat down and put my bag on the table. Edward pulled his chair back, pushing it closer to mine and sat. I turned my head to see him staring, rather in a rude manner, but I ignored him and turned my head back to Mr. Banner. The class had begun talking in a whisper, but Mr. Banner told them to be quiet as he continued his lesson.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked directly but only loud enough for me to hear.

"What?" At least I could talk to him, even if it was no more than a few letters.

"You're rude. You ignore Alice. You avoid me."

If I gave him my name, he'd understand instantly.

"Tell me," he said in irritation. I looked from the left to the right, thinking of a way to ditch class. It was even more strange that he knew there was indeed something. I just didn't know why he would want to know.

He wasn't giving up either.

"You're nervous. Why?"

I was biting hard on a piece of dead skin on my finger again. It wouldn't go off. One of his fingers got closer to my mouth and I stopped breathing. I felt his pointer finger lock around my pointer finger, pulling it away from my teeth.

"At least try to keep your cool," he said. "Stop biting off your nail." He pushed my hand down with only his finger and withdrew his hand.

I bit on my lip while I pushed the nail of my thumb under the nail of my pointer finger, fidgeting with my fingers. He was right, I was nervous and I was showing it.

Edward chuckled. "Go take some self defense classes, Coco. This isn't getting you anywhere."

"Why?" I breathlessly asked, but not daring to look at him.

"Why what?" he asked in whisper. I was sure he was mocking me.

"Why would you care?"

"I don't. But watching you like this is pathetic." My eyes widened. He rolled his eyes. "You're such an obvious target for anyone who likes to hurt other people."

I bit my lip harder which caused it to bleed and flinched at the pain. I tasted the iron and the little salt.

"Stop it," he whispered, pushing his chair exactly next to mine. "You're making _me_ nervous."

"Edward!" Mr. Banner snapped. "Stay after class for a minute."

"Whatever," he mumbled, turning his head back to mine, catching my eyes. "Your lip's still bleeding." He turned back and listened to the teacher and I brought my finger to my lip, feeling the moisture come in contact with my finger. I brought it in front of me, seeing the redness on it. It would heal again. Just like Edward had said, _whatever._

We were supposed to take notes, but I couldn't do that. Edward was relaxed next to me and I was stiff from all the nerves.

"Where did you live before you came here?" Edward asked from next to me, while writing and taking the notes.

I didn't want to tell him.

"Someone hurt you there?"

The irony. If he knew the truth. If only.

"I'm sure you didn't deserve it," he said, standing up. He quickly tore out a piece of paper out of his notebook and put it in my notebook, and then closed it. I saw him put his bag on the table and pull out a sandwich and coke. He put them in front of me. That was supposed to be my lunch. The bell rang, but it was low in my ears, I barely heard it.

I was staring at my now closed notebook and lunch. He leaned down and whispered, "You're too cute to be treated badly. Too innocent. Whatever the bastard did or bitch said, they were wrong." I felt his hand pat my shoulder twice. It did strange things to me that I hated to admit. He walked towards Mr. Banner, quickly talking to him. Most people were walking out of the classroom and I stood, put my bag over my shoulder and grabbed my books and pen. I threw the food and drink in my bag.

When I was out of the classroom, I took only two steps to the right to stop and breathe for a moment. Sitting next to Edward was so nerving. I felt so tired, as if I had just run the marathon.

"I'm _sorry_," a faint voice said, "and it won't happen again." I was trying to do Zen, or something to calm down, so I was also blocking out all the noises around me.

Footsteps were getting louder and then everything happened so fast. I was hit hard from the back and started falling forwards, while releasing my arms from the deadly grip I had put on my books to try and break my fall. I already saw the books hit the ground but from behind me I was caught, a pair of hands coming in front of me and I was forcefully hit on what was behind me. It pushed the air out of me forcefully.

"Wow," I heard Edward say from behind me. "Talking about reflexes." He started to let me go and turned me around. He grinned and bent down to pick up my stuff.

"You were standing a bit in the way though," he continued sweetly in his smooth voice, standing up again.

We were staring at each other, when he broke eye contact to look behind me.

"Leave Rebecca alone, Edward," Mr. Banner quickly said while locking the door and he went off as if he was in a hurry. Now, I think, we were officially alone.

He handed my stuff to me with a smile. I reached for them, but he pulled them back and brought his other finger up, where also the pen was in.

"Answer one of my questions."

My notebook and pen weren't worth this.

I turned and walked away. Edward laughed from behind me and suddenly his arms came around me, but they didn't touch me. This reminded me of yesterday during gym. It did stop me effectively from walking any further. My notebook was right in front of me, in his hands.

"You win. Go on, take them." I reached for them slowly and this time, he let me take them.

I exhaled in relief when his arms left my vision. I stood there, my books again on the verge of falling, because I couldn't hold them as tightly as I wanted to.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked seriously, walking around me and stopping in front of me, looking in my eyes.

My head was up towards his, eyes big and I was frozen. I looked back once, to see nobody in the hallway. Then I turned to meet his green, happy eyes again.

"You have a boyfriend?"

It sounded definitely like a question, but something also made it sound like a statement.

He smiled a little when I didn't answer and he stepped beside me. He took a step back, folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. I had followed each movement, never looked away from his eyes.

He then unfolded his arms and with his palm up, his fingers pointed towards the hallway.

"Deliverance," he said. Again, he was mocking me. He knew, probably, that it was _him _causing me to act so shy.

My head went to where he was pointing and I quickly turned and walked away. His far away sounding footsteps told me he was following me, but when I reached the ending of the hallway, I once quickly turned to see him still looking at me.

With too much energy, I went down the stairs and bolted out of the doors, toward my car. I was barely looking around me, except when I was seated safely inside my car, seatbelt fastened. I noticed Edward walk to a silver Volvo and he was alone. Then, he turned, his eyes instantly on mine as he took the last few steps backwardly, reached for the door handle and broke our eye contact. I was still looking at him and saw him shake his head with a grin.

Back home I saw that the paper he had pushed in my notebook were the notes he had taken in class, while I had been doing nothing.

~#~

Should I leave her alone? Or should I find out her fears?

Do I ask anyone for help? Or do I solve this on my own?

She's barely a challenge, but then again each time she didn't speak, each time she didn't answer me, she left me wondering for more.

I felt dreadful, because maybe I didn't want to know the answers. If they feared her already that much, what would they do to me?

The choice was easily made. I had to know. The girl had raw fear in her eyes. At gym. At lunch. At biology.

How come she seemed like a tortured prisoner and walked away like she had no idea what to do with her life when I said deliverance to her? Was _I _affecting her, or did all boys give her that effect?

I was not a therapist and I knew how long it took to heal a person emotionally. I wasn't going to do that. I was going to get my answers, and then be selfish.

~#~


	4. Biology class

_**Disclaimer**: Not my characters_

_**A/N**_**: **Can't even explain why it's taken me almost 11 months to update. I'm sorry! I bet I've lost many readers. Hope you guys can still enjoy this story.

Hope ya'll had a great New Year. It's 1-1-2013 :).

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 4 - Biology class<br>_**

I stared at his notes and his handwriting. Every darn letter he had written on the paper had an elegance of its own. It was highly ridiculous.

Even I was acting ridiculous for considering which of the following two was _more _ridiculous; the fact that he had given me his notes or the graciousness that his handwriting had?

My phone buzzed, leaving me no time to consider which of those two option is the most ridiculous. I wasn't in the mood for talking to the outside world, but still I picked up my phone.

_Renée?_

It was very unusual for her to call me so early in the morning. Involuntarily, I grew worried.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"Bella! How are you?" Her exiting voice was enough for me to relax. "I wanted to send you an e-mail, but the computer crashed!"

That was unexpected. I wasn't expecting a call from her, let alone one that was so early in the morning. Something did grow inside my chest, a feeling that I only sometimes felt when I realized that somebody was in fact thinking of me.

_Or even caring for me._

"So instead I called," she continued cheerfully.

She was my mother, but somewhere deep in me I would always hold a grudge on her. She chose to pick sides with people she barely knew, instead of her young daughter. That day she was a bad mother and Charlie a bad father. I was just a kid. I was shy and time went by fast as Charlie said I had to go live with my mother. They never gave me a chance to gather courage and tell them the truth about that day.

Now it was too late to tell them. Too much time had passed and even if I did decide to tell them, just for the sake of getting this weight off my shoulder, nobody could assure me with certainty that they would believe me or even listen to me.

"Oh... Well, I'm-"

Renée cut me off. "It's so warm here today in Florida, you wouldn't believe it honey, while it's November!"

"You don't say," I mumbled sarcastically. She was getting annoying.

For the past years I had lived in Phoenix. I knew how hot it could get there. I took a deep breath, because I knew this anger I was feeling was pointed toward me and not my mother.

Perhaps a little of that anger _was_ pointed toward her.

"No, I mean it!" Apparently she hadn't heard the sarcasm. "This way my tan will stay until hopefully December or maybe even January."

"Hopefully."

I was waiting for something more to come out of my mother, to see if there was a _normal _reason why she called me, but she didn't speak anymore for a moment. I couldn't believe she called me, just to talk about her and her tan.

I heard Phil in the background. "Oh sweetie, I have to go. Have fun there, don't hate the rain!"

"Why are you up so ear-?" I asked, but the line died. I dropped my head on my pillow and closed my eyes, dropping my phone beside me.

What was _I _even doing up so early? I could have slept for probably another hour, but instead I picked up Edward's notes again and stared at the lines where his pen had touched the paper.

_What is happening to me?_

I felt horrible. I felt so shaken and worried about something, which wasn't even related to my real identity being revealed. Something horrible was going to happen today. I had that feeling.

So before I went to school, I emailed all of my friends. It was kind of dramatic, but I wanted them to hear from me one more time in case something bad did happen.

Only problem was that the computer took a lot of time to start and I had to type something quick so I wouldn't be late for that place I called high school.

To: Kelly Pall ( ), Jenny Lyle (Jen_Ben ), Ellen Polotti ( ), Tessa Norewood (tess.a ), Ashley Arias (a.a. ), Alex Tick (Tickle_Alexander ), Thom Gugu ( )

From: Isabella Swan ( )

Subject: D:

_Hi all of you!  
>How's everything up there? Here there's... mostly rain, of course.<br>Nah, don't worry, it's cool. Though the worst bit is that I have to miss you guys.  
>Hope we'll see each other soon again!<br>Luf ya.  
>xox<br>Bella_

I quickly sent it and grabbed my bag. I hadn't received my books yet, so the only things I brought to school were a notebook and a pen.

When I got downstairs, I saw that Charlie's cruiser was already gone. He had gone pretty early to work this morning.

Today the dread was the worst. Something inside of me told me that my lies wouldn't last long. Which was a big _duh _but still, I wished I had never come here.

_Too late to wish for that._

Inside the truck I turned the volume of the radio up way high to distract me. It worked, until the moment I reached that school building. Just as I was about to get out of the truck, it started to poor even harder. If a day had a bad start, it usually had a bad end as well; at least with me that was always the problem.

I ran to the building as fast as I could and went straight to the bathroom. The little mascara I usually put on would probably need a check up. When I reached the door, I yanked it open and glanced at my reflection. I sighed as I looked at my face. I seemed to look more pale and my hair was messy, as if combing it this morning hadn't even been of use.

When I was about to get out of the bathroom, Rosalie, Tanya and her other lemmings walked in.

I decided to call them _the cheerleaders _or maybe just _cheerleaders. _That way I didn't have to keep repeating their already special names in my head each time I saw them.

They, compared to me, looked absolutely perfect in their expensive clothes and perfectly done hair and make-up. They even wore a matching colored lipstick on their lips. They were all pretty much glaring at me and I made a dash for it. I went to the right and reached the stairwells. After I was halfway up, I turned to the second stairwell, but when I looked up, I saw the _other_ Cullens.

_Male Cullens._

They all looked down at me and I tried to pretend I was looking at something else. _That's so hard. _It was too late to walk back, that would look stupid. So I slowly had to go up.

"There she is. Rebecca."

It was Edward's voice calling for _me_, and even if I didn't recognize his voice, I sure heard the sarcasm just when he said my fake name. In a way, he remembered not to call me Coco again, but now that he called me Rebecca, I wasn't sure if Coco was half that bad now that I got to hear the alternative in his sarcastic voice.

Edward stood on the left, Emmett in the middle, and Jasper on the right. Deciding it would be best to walk around the right, because then I would walk around Jasper and Emmett, I tried to do exactly that, but Edward quickly stopped me.

"I need a second with you, Rebecca."

I pleaded with my eyes. "I have class."

"So?" He stepped forward and glanced back at Jasper and Emmett. "Fuck off."

"Jeez, thanks," Jasper said, rolling his eyes.

Jasper took a few steps to leave but stopped when Emmett wasn't following, Edward turned his head to Emmett, and as Emmett was being stared at by his brothers, I noticed that his eyes were in fact on mine.

His bright, dark blue eyes stared into mine and I scowled. I remembered his eyes like _this_ from only one time in the past. The day _after_ they wanted me to smoke.

_November, 2001 - The day after they ruined my life permanently_

_"I don't understand how you could even think of smoking. Haven't your mother and I thought you any better?"_

_"I'm sorry..." I didn't know what to say to him. He didn't seem like my dad anymore. I didn't know this man._

_"Isabella, do you even realize how _stupid _of you it was to smoke?"_

_"I'm sorry!" I screamed and turned around. I ran as fast as I could go._

_"Isabella! Bella!"_

_But I was quicker then my dad and I ran out of the sliding doors of the supermarket. I wasn't really going to run away, but I just couldn't handle everything he kept saying anymore._

_From last night until this morning, he kept saying that he didn't understand how and why I would smoke. Each time it felt like he was hitting me with a hammer._

_I stopped running and was about to walk to his cruiser and wait for him there, when I heard my name being called by somebody I wished would never call my name again._

_"Bella?"_

_Slowly the boy got in front of me, but I kept my eyes down, to only see his black sneakers._

_"I'm sorry... about yesterday. Everything went out of hand."_

_I brought my eyes up in a snap to see if that apology was true._

_"Emmett, hurry! We're going inside. Oh! Is that Bella?" I didn't glance past Emmett's body, because I didn't want to see Esme or if she had brought her other kids to the supermarket as well. I only kept looking at Emmett. His eyes seemed apologetic, but mostly they were in shock._

_"You... Your... Why... Are you sick?" I had never witnessed Emmett like this._

_"Huh?"_

_Never, _never_, had Emmett and I have something that was like this._

A conversation.

_"You look like you're not okay..." Emmett shut his eyes. "I'm sorry. Damnit. I mean..."_

_Emmett brought his hand up but I ducked and ran away, hard._

_And that's the last I saw of Emmett._

Until now, as he was actually staring at me. I never understood what happened that day, but then again, I never tried to understand it.

Right now, Emmett was staring at me with that same shock, as if again I looked not okay. Was that it? Did I look that horrible?

"Last time I checked, you had a girlfriend," Edward said dryly.

Emmett shifted his eyes to Edward and mumbled, "Fuck you."

"Hey," Edward said, lifting his hands in surrender. "That's exactly why I don't do girlfriends."

The bell signaling class started to rang.

"I'm going," Jasper said. "Come on Emmett. We're late."

He didn't move, but stepped closer to me.

"Stay away from him," Emmett said, pointing at Edward with his thumb. "He's nothing but scum."

I gave a nervous, incredulous laugh. But then I realized Emmett was serious.

Edward snapped his head to Emmett, but he was already at least ten yards away from Edward, running after Jasper. I quickly turned back to the stairs because somehow, that seemed like my only sanctuary and started walking down.

_Run, Bella, run._

"Fuck you, asshole," Edward called back.

I was halfway down the first staircase. I quickly glanced back to see Edward had just turned his head as well. I quickened my pace.

"Wait," he called exaggeratedly, running after me.

_Leave me alone._

"You, me, boxing, after Bio."

I froze this time a few steps before I reached the first floor. He appeared in front of me, one step lower then I was and we were almost the same height now, him still being the taller one. He was also blocking my way of going down the stairs completely.

"W-What?" I asked shocked.

He flashed a smile. I think it was a smile, but with Edward you could never be sure.

"We have to do this in order for you to know how to box."

The confusion on my face couldn't have been more noticeable.

"For gym," he very slowly said.

"Why?" I asked quickly.

"There's a contest."

What was this all about? I didn't want to be in any contest.

"I'm not interested," I said with a shrug. I turned and began walking up the first staircase again until I reached flat surface. He followed me, which was not part of what I was hoping for. I felt trapped between the two staircases.

"If you want to pass gym this year and graduate, you will have to be in the competition."

What I really wanted to ask was, "Are you threatening me?" but what I said instead was, "Oh." Even I thought I was being pathetic at the was staring at me intently when I glanced up. The intensity was so sharp I had to step back from him. Why was he staring at me like that?

I walked backwards, just to get away from his stare, but my back hit the wall too soon. In my own clumsiness, the back of my head hit the wall as well. The sharp pain momentarily blinded me and I had to close my eyes.

I opened one eye carefully and waited until my vision cleared.

"Do you ever manage to get through a day without ending up getting hurt?"

"Yes."

He raised an eyebrow. "Clearly I was being rhetorical."

"I knew that." My voice sounded small. "What do you want from me?" Now I sounded plain desperate.

He shrugged a little, while staring at me intently. Again.

I glanced up at the stairs. That was the way I should be heading, so I stepped aside and began walking up again.

"I know what I want from you," he said. "But I'm not sharing."

With a scowl I turned my head and saw him step slowly up as well.

"What?" I asked with confusion in my voice.

He shook his head. "I won't tell. You're the kind of girl that would go running the moment things get scary."

"Oh..."

I felt like an imbecile. I needed to keep my mouth shut and get away from Edward, _fast_. In a way he was right. I ran away, but not because things got scary. I just didn't want to get hurt, because handling more pain was not what I really wanted to do right now.

"I... need to... go," I mumbled slowly, with intervals to catch my breath because for reasons unexplained I felt out of breath.

_Because you're afraid, Bella. Did you come here to relive the past? I really don't think so, so toughen yourself up. You're a big girl now and Edward's not anymore the big bad wolf you should be afraid off. What's the worst thing he could do?_

For a second I felt curiosity. What indeed was the worst thing he could do? Had he not done already the worst thing possible?

_Stop staring at the boy._

I quickly blinked to get the voices away from my head. In the meantime, Edward had taking a few steps up.

"So... Uh bye," I said, shifting my eyes to anywhere but him.

I turned and quickly walked away, glancing back only once, but Edward had disappeared.

x x x

The teacher made a sarcastic remark at my late appearance for English. I gave an apologetic look.

The next few hours, I mostly put my head in my hands, played with my hair, looked at the split ends, wished I had a scissor so that I could cut them off and looked at the clock. All the rest I ignored. I received a few stares. I didn't see Tanya at all anymore, though I did share a few of my lessons with her.

I heard Tanya's three friends talk about her; neither did one of them know where she was. She wasn't picking up her calls or texting them back.

A few other rumors told me that also Edward wasn't responding to any calls or text messages. This school lived on rumors.

"It's obvious where your precious Tanya is."

I looked up and saw that Mike had turned around in his seat to talk to Jessica, Lauren and Rosalie. The teacher had left the room and Mike had pretty much seized his opportunity.

"Please, stop talking like she's the victim. And if she is, she sure as hell loves it."

"You tell them, Mike!" Seth cheered.

"What?" Jessica asked, her eyes looking curiously at Mike.

Mike rolled his eyes. "How can you be so dumb?"

I pressed my lips on each other. Even though I felt like a zombie, that comment almost made me laugh. Mike was a pretty funny boy.

"Alright, trooper," Rosalie said. "Where is Tanya?"

"Did you see her?" Lauren asked with actual interest.

They actually cared for their friend. That was strange to witness.

"No, I don't have to see her to know she's probably on her knees right now with Cullen in front of her."

"How dare you?" Jessica instantly said in a shriek, bolting out of her chair.

"Don't get angry with me, Jess. I'm sure he thought you were good too."

Her eyes widened and then she slapped her book shut. She groaned angrily, grabbed her stuff and left her friends and Mike behind. Rosalie and Lauren stood up as well as they glared at Mike.

"Don't worry, Lauren, you'll get your chance too someday." It was Tyler now who was talking. Mike high-fived him.

"Ugh, they're so childish," Lauren said.

"And you better get it out of your head, Rosalie," Tyler said. "They call that incest."

"Shut up!" Rosalie yelled. "You're disgusting. I'm not blood related to Edward."

"So you do think about it, because technically it _could _be legal?" Seth asked.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Rosalie said angrily in hysteria.

I stared with my mouth open, because these boys knew how to anger girls like the cheerleaders.

The two of them left the classroom. Once our teacher returned with a few assignments, he glanced at the four empty seats only once. This probably happened often, if he didn't even _wonder _out loud where his students had gone to.

Lunch time finally came because I was hungry, and I couldn't think clear on an empty stomach.

I slowly went to my locker first, grabbing my dark blue jacket and putting it on. It was getting chilly inside and I didn't want to turn into a shivering ice cube. When I threw the door to close, I realized somebody was leaning against the other lockers on my right side.

"Is it a charade?" Edward asked from beside me.

I scowled, and wondered if Tanya or someone else was standing behind me.

"Or are you one of those prudes? Hey, Coco." I winced at that very condensing tone. So he was talking to me. "Did you ever have guy feel you up?"

I watched him with shock and felt a little bit of pain inside my chest. He made it sound so wrong. He made it sound as if I'd done a crime by never having let a guy touch me.

_Because you never found a boy that you liked, doesn't mean that's a wrong thing. Why do you let Edward get to you? So what he considers prudes boring? You're not even a prude. His words don't mean anything important. Bella, he's just Edward. Shallow and empty. You should feel sorry for him._

"I mean, seriously, you walk in here and have everyone's fucking attention with just a snap of your fingers, but I bet you've never even been kissed."

_His judgment is nothing. In the end, your happiness is the only thing that matters. There will be a guy who'll love you, Bella. That guy is worth the pain that this guy in front of you is giving you now. Look in his eyes and feel sorry for him. That's all he deserves to get from you._

I looked into his piercing eyes, not sure how mine looked like. But I looked and tried to feel pity for a guy with such opinions.

_Age is just a number, Bella, and when you get your first kiss, you want it to be special, not something quick and meaningless. When you let a special boy kiss you, a special boy that tells you he cannot live without you, when that boy kisses you, Bella, you'll feel it in every inch of your body and it won't matter when this happens. True love appears when it's the least expected and experience can be build with the one that will probably love to teach you._

I took a deep breath as I tried to believe the flowing words that were running in my head. They almost made me giggle because it all felt so cheesy inside my head. The voice seemed to be mine but it was saying things that I would never say, so I was confused as to how these words were in my head.

"Or you're, what, like Tanya? Trying desperately to get a guys attention with your mouth?"

"Excuse me?" I asked in a croaked voice as the sudden comment. "What are... I don't... I'm not like that."

I shook my head, which must have looked quite pathetic.

Edward laughed and eventually leaned against the lockers. "I know."

"Then why... You were... And..."

I needed to keep my eyes away from his green ones, because talking while looking into his eyes was a lost case on my side. It's like I didn't even remember how to talk English anymore.

With a glint of amusement in his eyes, he shrugged. "I don't know. You have a side that screams you're hiding something. Though there must be a reason why you're hiding it, I'm still not sure if that's enough for me not to be slightly interested what makes mysterious Rebecca Dwyer so afraid."

I quickly shook my head. "No. Don't. Please don't be interested in finding anything out. I'm really boring."

I quickly turned my back to him and walked past him to the doors that would lead me to the cafeteria. I didn't even get that far, because Edward had me cornered all of a sudden, pushing me into a gap between the lockers.

"What are you doing?" I instantly asked.

"Trying to figure out what is scaring you."

I jerked my head away from his hand when I saw it reach my cheek. There was not one person around. I looked up at Edward, whom I could feel had now his hands on my shirt.

"I-I'm _not_..." I said, my voice quitting on its own. His eyes told me that he _knew _that I was afraid, so denying it was useless. "Please, let me go."

"Relax," he murmured.

My eyes fought to look better, to see a shadow, anything, that would mean a person was near.

Another part of me knew that his fingers were trailing the edge of my shirt, slowly dipping the edge up so that his fingers touched my skin.

"Edward." I chocked.

_In God's name, Bella, scream. You still have your voice._

Then he began lifting my shirt up - not even half an inch - but I screamed. I began trashing against his body, my hands hitting him on his chest, thought I doubted it hurt him. I wasn't a very strong person.

I freaked out more when I began feeling his hands trying to get a hold of my hands.

"Damnit Rebecca!" Edward exclaimed, one of his hands grabbing my left lower arm.

As I tried to jerk my arm out of his hand, my right hand came on something solid but as the solidness moved around my hand, I realized I had hit his palm and now he had possession of both my arms.

"Will you fucking calm down?" he hissed.

_He's having trouble holding you. Keep doing whatever you're doing. Trash like a madwoman and kick him, if you must._

Edward had managed to slip his hand from my hand to my elbow. My left lower arm was still in his other hand and I indeed tried to free myself by kicking him, but his feet were quicker, so instead I literally threw my body at his.

Of course my weight and strength compared to his was nothing. But he did budge so I kept pushing him, until the moment I realized nothing happened.

"Hey," Edward snapped, gripping my upper arms painfully tight.

"You're hurting me," I said in agony, though part of the agony in my voice was simply because I was this close to Edward.

"Shit," he said as he quickly released me and placed his hands lightly on my shoulders. "I didn't mean to hold you so tight. You were fucking freaking out."

I was gasping for air and stepped back, leaning with my back against the lockers and keeping my eyes on him, in case he'd come closer.

Edward dropped his hands beside him and watched me momentarily.

Then _he _freaked out.

"What the hell did you think I was doing? You can't going crazy like that just out of nowhere. Are you seriously that messed up? What the fuck happened to you? You don't react like a normal person!"

_Now he's trying to patronize you. Don't believe him. Bella, a boy cannot touch you the way he was, without your permission. What you did was what any sane person would have done. You _are _normal._

What was that voice inside my head?

"Your hands are shaking," Edward said in a clipped tone.

I looked down at my hands and saw them indeed shaking. I put one hand over the other, hoping that way it wouldn't be so noticeable.

Just like that, a few students rolled inside the locker room and a small part of me felt relieved and saved.

If I wanted to breathe air, I had to get away now, so this time as I reached the doors of the cafeteria, I didn't stop walking and wasn't planning on getting stopped again.

I didn't look back for Edward, because he had probably disappeared again.

"I understand," Alice's voice said from behind me. "It all makes sense now, like why you ignore me."

I widened my eyes. She was talking to me. I stopped and turned to look at her.

"I mean, I understand, it's not a bad thing. Girls dig Edward, I guess he has the looks and charm, though sometimes he's pretty rotten."

Her mouth was moving fast and the words were even coming out faster. Alice looked very beautiful today, with a lime green jeans that fit her legs just perfectly. On top she wore a white blouse.

"I don't mind you like him, but he has a girlfriend. Or something like that."

I could almost directly look into her eyes because she had a pair of brown five inch heels on.

"_Okay_, that's not entirely true. He has this thing where he constantly reminds us that he'll never have a girlfriend."

"You've got it wrong," I said with furrowed eyebrows. "I don't like Edward." I quickly corrected myself, because saying it like that sounded wrong. "I'm not interested in him."

Now Alice scowled and glanced behind me a few times. "You're not? I don't understand."

"Don't understand what?" I asked, hoping desperately she'd tell me quick what she had on her mind so I could leave.

"Well, you..." but then she shook her head. "Never mind. I must be seeing things then." She gave a quick smile. "So, is Forks suiting you?"

"Not really." I didn't plan on saying _that_.

"Oh," she said, her smile dropping. "You know, I meant it when I said we'd be great friends. I can show you around, because once you know Forks, it's really not that bad. There are a few great places to eat, and to party, and to go shopping!"

I didn't know why gorgeous, probably popular Alice was speaking to me of becoming her friend with that much certainty.

"I don't think so," I said. "Just leave me alone. Please."

Her eyes widened as she stepped forward, instead of backwards. My voice sounded so monotone, it was as if it wasn't _me _saying those words.

"I don't mean to be intense! I swear! Jasper told me I can be too much sometimes, but I never realize it myself. But I'm not telling lies and I would really love to know you better."

"Well, tough luck, because I don't want to know you." That was probably me in my meanest form, still sounding monotone.

I didn't know yet if I was feeling okay or not with pushing Alice away like this, but I did know that I had other things on my mind.

"But I don't understand-"

"What is it," I interrupted, "with people that don't leave me alone when I tell them to?"

At that I turned without waiting for any reply. I had enough. Also I didn't want to show her I was hurting with different pains aching inside my chest.

Hopefully, with these lies, I had Alice off my back permanently.

I picked up my phone when I rounded a corner and dialed Renée's number.

"_Hello, leave a message and maybe I'll call you back!"_

"Shit!" I cursed, pressing the red button.

_I'm so ready to leave Forks._

"Rough day?"

I stiffened. Him again.

"It's your third day already and I didn't get a chance to even talk to you."

"Uh, yeah," I replied nervously, turning around. "Hi, Emmett."

He grinned. "Hi Rebecca. You look like crap today."

"Bad night," I said carefully. "Bye."

"Wait! I wanted to apologize."

I stared at him with caution, but I was glad that he was keeping a distance. I could think when they kept a distance.

"For what?" I asked.

"Edward. I know he's difficult sometimes."

I raised both my eyebrows and he smiled.

"I just wanted to apologize," he said. "I'll talk to him. He isn't used to being said no by a girl he wants."

_A girl he wants... A girl he wants... A girl he wants..._

I was dumbfounded. Emmett was somewhat normal, but what he was saying didn't make any sense.

"Please leave me alone," I said, hoping he'd get the edge my voice had gotten. The edge with fear. If Rosalie was here, she'd either murder him or me or both of us.

"You okay?"

"Yes, but I have to go."

I pleaded at him with my eyes, but he didn't get it. Of course he didn't get it. How could I make him understand that I was currently living a lie and that talking to them was extremely difficult?

"I know we're not friends, but I could help you, with whatever you're going through."

_Why would he say that?_

I shook my head and looked around, but nobody was here. I wanted to go, to leave him behind me and simply _go_.

"I swore Edward had gone crazy when he said you looked familiar, but I understand what he means. I see it for myself now."

"Well, I-I just have one of those f-faces," I stuttered nervously.

He watched me carefully and shook his head. "Edward may have forgotten. Jasper and Alice didn't know you all too well back then. Rosalie, Lauren and Tanya are too busy watching themselves, but I have looked too many times into your eyes to have forgotten about you."

_No! _

This could not be it. The moment where they all found out. I was so busy thinking about Edward, I had forgotten about Emmett, or even any of the others. The fact that somebody _did _recognize me had flew out of the window when I realized I wasn't that little girl anymore. I didn't even look like her anymore.

_Then how did he recognize me?_

"What I'm saying is that I remember you," he said, his voice less loud.

I could barely look at him. But I did turn my back at him.

"And I'm sorry. I know it's a stupid word without any meaning to it, but I am sorry."

"Can I just go?" I asked, my voice wavering. I felt like a kid again.

But instead I heard him walk closer to me and I froze.

"Listen, just for one more minute. That kid you know, he's gone. I'm not like that anymore. But I want you to know to not be scared for that moment when everybody knows. Okay? And don't be afraid of Edward. I see the way you look at him, as if he'll strike you."

I took a deep, hasty breath and looked up at him. He was watching me as if I was a porcelain cup that was about to break. And how right he was, because that's exactly what I felt. As if I was about to explode into tiny shreds.

"I lied to everybody. And... I imagined you would all find out at the same time. That you'd get angry... or something... It's actually stupid, now that I think of it."

"You do realize you haven't done anything wrong?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"Maybe?" I asked carefully. Was he getting angry? He seemed as if he wanted to snap at me.

"You haven't," he said.

He stared at me for a moment with a scowl and slowly shook his head.

"But you don't believe that. What I did to you - what all of us did was horrible, dirty and pretty much unforgiving. You should be pissed at us and scream at us. You shouldn't..." He scowled deeply, as if he didn't understand me, "-_fear _us as if it was your fault."

"Maybe," I said, again.

He gave an incredulous laugh.

"Bye," I said and bolted.

x x x

I gave myself the privilege of going home. But I couldn't think clearly while Emmett knew who I was. It was unnerving that my own eyes had betrayed me. Emmett recognized me by my eyes.

_It's unfair._

I opened the door and walked into the drizzle but stopped when Jasper was standing in front of me.

In a robotic way, I asked, "You too?"

He watched me quizzically and I wanted to slap myself. Emmett hadn't told him.

"I'm sorry, something's wrong with me," I mumbled as I tried to walk past him, but he extended his hand.

I stared at it and then at him. He was smiling and said, "Hi."

"Uh, hi." I slowly took his hand and he shook it once.

"My name is Jasper Cullen," he said. "Why is a lovely lady such as yourself looking so sad?"

First Emmett and now Jasper was complementing me. This was an alternative world, it had to be.

"Are you okay?" he asked, letting go of my hand.

"Sure," I said with the best smile I could muster.

He smiled back. "I'd like to say something about Edward. I couldn't help but notice the way he was staring at you."

This was the talk, the moment he'd say that Edward's a good guy, that I shouldn't think bad stuff about him and all those sort of things.

_The way he was staring at you... Staring at you..._

There was a _way_? Were they seeing things, or was I missing out on things?

"Even though he's my adoptive brother and I really do care for him, he's very unstable. His actions are unpredictable. He doesn't mean to, but he has hurt probably all people who love him the most."

"_Okay_," I said slowly.

"Be careful around him," he said. "He seems to be drawn to you, which of course, I don't blame him. You're a lovely lady."

_Christ. _I thought he and Alice were together. "He's not drawn to me."

"It doesn't matter what you believe," he said with a shake of his head. "But I'd hate to see for you to get hurt because of him. Emmett wasn't lying when he said that Edward can be a bit of a scum." He grinned and suddenly I understood why Alice would fall in love with him. "Don't forget to be cautiousness."

I nodded my head slowly.

"Don't you have class?" he asked all of a sudden, as if he didn't just give me some weird, long warning about Edward.

I nodded again.

He laughed and winked. "Roger that. Who said skipping is a bad thing? See you later, Miss."

I grimaced and he disappeared inside the building. I walked down the steps and began walking to the parking place, but was stopped when Edward with a cigarette between his fingers opened his mouth and began talking extremely fast.

_It cannot be real, unless this really is the alternative universe. I see them everywhere. They appear everywhere. Why are they constantly everywhere?_

"Look, I don't say this often, so don't even dare to think I'll say this _ever _again, because I really mean it when I say I don't say this very often, but because Alice pretty much began punching me, and punching me pretty hard for a girl, I'm kinda forced to say this."

He took a drag from the cigarette. As he drew out the smoke, and another word came out of his mouth.

"Sorry." His tone was clipped and unmeaning.

I walked past him and tried to go as fast as I could to my truck.

"Where are you going?"

Without giving an answer, I reached my truck and unlocked the door. When I stepped in and wanted to close the door, Edward stood before me.

"You still have Bio and your first boxing session."

He watched me as he took a drag and I leaned forward to take the handle and pull the door shut, but it wouldn't have much use if he stood there, blocking my path.

"Stay, Coco. I'll be - you know," he rolled his eyes, "tolerable."

He threw the cigarette behind him and put his hand on the door. He wanted me to get out. I looked behind me out of the window, but it was raining hard and nobody would stand willingly outside right now. Again I found myself alone with only Edward as my company.

I didn't trust him anymore, not after he had pushed me into that corner and I had to literally fight him off. Who knew what his next move would be? Besides, Jasper's warning was still fresh in my mind.

"I won't touch you," he said slowly.

_Am I _really _that obvious?_

He was able to see right through my fears. Then again, I wasn't being very tactful. I kept glancing around through each window and looking into all my mirrors. I turned my head to him.

"Unless you want me to."

With this he shrugged, making me wonder if he may be joking or if he really was crazy. I stared at him and he watched me carefully. But I didn't know what to say back to him. He sighed and looked down at his wrist, pulling up his sleeve. I noticed a watch.

"It's still fifteen minutes until lunch break is over. You should eat something because boxing takes a lot out of a person."

Sitting here in my car was so relaxing and easy. That's also why I remained seated. This was my safe area. He was still trying to get me out of my car and I didn't know why he was so obsessed.

With my eyes I screamed at him, _leave me alone!_

He crossed his arms and I saw him smirk. "I'm not stepping away."

"_Alright_," I said defeated. I stepped out of the truck, but the guy hardly stepped away so I bumped into his chest.

_He was supposed to take a step back, like any other normal person would have done, to give the other person room!_

He grabbed my right elbow with his hand and I pulled it away from him quickly.

"That did not include the _not touching _part I mentioned," he said quickly.

I huffed, because yet again, if he had stepped away, I would have never needed his assistance to get out of my truck.

"What? Would you have rather I had let you fall?"

I watched him tiredly. _I don't care._

"It was reflex, Bee."

_Why is he still talking to me? _

_Bee as in _bumblebee_? Or Bee as in the letter b?_

I walked away from my truck and heard him shut the door. I dumped the keys in my bag and he appeared next to me.

"Don't you lock the door?"

I glanced back at the truck. Who would steal a truck anyway?

Edward laughed and I quickly opened the door and walked inside. It was a lot warmer here.

And I still wanted to go home.

"What? You're seriously not going to talk to me now? Fucking prude." He muttered the last part.

My eyes widened and I saw him walk in front of me. I had stopped walking and slowly he turned around.

"What?" he said with a lazy shrug.

"You keep insulting me." My voice carried accusation.

"So?"

"You're mean."

"You're not stopping me, are you?"

I opened my mouth to say anything, really, but what?

_Will he stop if I tell him to stop? Is that what he's saying?_

"You look a little lost." I blinked in confusion and put on a poker face. Edward glanced at his watch. "Thirteen minutes left."

He entered the cafeteria and I followed behind him when suddenly several people came walking toward us. I saw too soon exactly who was coming in our direction.

_Too, too ridiculous._

Tanya said, "Edward, I want to talk to you!"

Emmett childishly said, "First me!"

Jasper calmly mentioned, "No, I have something important to tell him."

Lauren's stupidly said, "I was here first!"

Rosalie said in anger, "If anyone is going to talk to Edward, it's me."

Alice screeched, "No! All of you can step away, because I'm having a word."

This seemed like the perfect opportunity to walk away, but it seemed as if all the attention was headed to us both and not just him. If I walked away, it would most likely not go unnoticed.

Tanya was the first that had spoken and she was glaring at me. Emmett and Jasper both looked at Edward as if they were asking to pick them first.

I wasn't the only one who was glared at. Rosalie and Lauren were glaring at Edward, but it didn't bother him one bit, because he hardly looked back at them.

"Whydoes everybody want to talk to me _today_?" he asked incredulously, snapping on his last word.

He glanced at each person as he gave them a few words.

"Tanya, fuck off. Emmett, Jasper, we _just _talked. What the fuck is there more to say? And Lauren, fuck off as well. Rosalie, since when do we talk? Alice, you talk _too much_. I'm not willingly going to listen to something you have to say."

All of them instantly began chattering to Edward and I widened my eyes.

"I just punched you!"

"..more to say.."

"..going anywhere!"

"But I still.."

"..listen to.."

"..always ignoring me."

"..not done yet!"

"Maybe you should talk to them," I said quietly. And they all snapped their mouth shut to turn and look at me.

Edward shook his head. "I made you an offer, and I'm intending to keep it."

_What offer?_

He walked toward the food area, beautifully ignoring the ones that still wanted to have a moment with him. It was some consolation that he wasn't rude to only me, but to others as well.

By the time I reached Edward, he already had a sandwich and a can. I glanced back at the group that nearly attacked Edward. They were still there.

Momentarily, I caught eyes with Emmett and he watched me worriedly.

I grabbed a sandwich too with a can of apple juice and Edward paid for us both. I didn't bother telling him that I would pay. I was too much in a haze to start the fight of paying for my own lunch. Also, he had already given the woman behind the counter a ten, saying he was paying for my lunch as well and that she could keep the change.

"They really want to talk to you."

"I don't care," was his reply. "Besides, we now only have ten minutes to eat."

Was he doing it on purpose, or did he really have some obsession with time?

He walked to a table for two and I sat on the opposite side of him. He grabbed my can, opened it for me, and placed it on the table.

I stared at the can with a scowl. "Thanks."

The cafeteria seemed quiet, but I heard some people muttering and finally they began talking again as if nothing had happened.

I took a bite and the sandwich I had taken - I hadn't even looked - was tuna. I shuddered at the taste and quickly swallowed it down with the juice. It was a good thing Edward opened it.

When I looked up, Edward was staring at me.

"You're a really weird girl."

He reached forward and wrapped his hand around my sandwich. My breathing halted. I watched as he pulled it out of my hand. Then he handed his own to me.

"Mine's a cheese and lettuce sandwich," he said, handing it even further until I _had _to take it.

"How'd... you know...?"

"That you are disgusted by tuna? Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because you're face scrunched when you tasted it or that you retched when you tried to swallow it down?"

I rubbed my forehead with my free hand. I couldn't even hide my taste for food in front of him.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

He had already taken a bite or two from the sandwich that I was now holding. He didn't seem to mind that he was eating my sandwich. At least one of us liked tuna.

I took a big bite and tried to calm myself down. This sandwich tasted loads better.

_It's okay. Well, I insulted Alice. Emmett remembers me. Jasper gives me warnings. Tanya stalks Edward. Edward gives me his lunch. But it's okay. It's okay..._

He didn't say anything. Neither did he really look at me. That made it easier for me to finish the sandwich on time and drink the can empty. Eating food so quickly didn't fall easy on my stomach. I usually was a slow eater.

He stood up and I quickly jumped up as well and grabbed my bag.

"Thanks," I said again.

_How many times did I say _thanks_ by now without getting a reply back?_

It was not just me that caught this, because Edward was looking at me, and he seemed amused. "You're welcome."

"I have to go to class," I said, pointing behind me and turned.

"I know. I have Bio too."

We stared at each other, my eyes wide, his filled with mirth.

_Shit_.

"I know," I said with as much self-confidence that I could muster.

I wanted to slap myself. Just one more minute and he would think I was a shy, school girl that couldn't talk normally to the school's biggest player, who happened to have great looks.

Even though Emmett said I shouldn't be afraid, I still felt like I'd made the world's biggest mistake. I should have introduced myself as Bella Swan from the beginning. Now all that I could feel was anticipation of when they'd finally find out.

_No more regretting! You did it. You can't go back._

Edward chuckled and dumped his can in the trash.

We reached Bio class, but when I waited for him to sit by the window side, I realized that he was waiting for me to sit there.

However, I didn't like that spot because I would be trapped between the wall on my left side, tables with students behind me, and Edward on my right side. And of course the table in front of me.

Reluctantly I dropped myself on that chair, because after one glance in Edward's direction, I knew that he would get his way anyway, like previously when we stood by my truck.

I closed my eyes, while scowling deeply. I had to ditch him after this. He could not truly mean it that he wanted to teach me the boxing. Where were we supposed to do that? Here at the gym? Or was there a special boxing place here in Forks?

"Why do you hate Alice?"

I watched him with wide eyes and began saying I didn't, but he watched me skeptically.

"You don't like her," he instantly said. "I don't understand why."

"It's me, not her," I mumbled.

"Tell me what's wrong, Bee."

"I can't."

Talking, I noticed, was slightly easier now. Of course I wasn't looking at him, in his mind I was Rebecca and also, he wasn't touching me or sweet-talking to me like he did to most girls or like he did to _me _before at the lockers.

"You're hiding something," he said after a while. "But I can see through your act that something is bothering. I can see it's scaring you. It scares you a lot."

I glanced at the clock. Only ten minutes had passed. No, actually it was nine. Or was that eight?

"That's why you moved," he said in statement. "Something happened that made you move to Forks. And now you're living in fear."

Only for once I gave a half-laugh. It was a funny, sort of weird sound escaping my lips and I made sure I didn't do that a second time. Edward was very wrong about his statement; however, he was also right.

_I'm living in fear._

"That's not true," I eventually said. "I moved because Phil..." I flinched as I realized I was giving him personal information, but it was too late now to take back that name, so I continued, "He's my mother's boyfriend, had to go to another state for his job. She joined him, so I went to Forks. It was the only option I had."

Something strange happened. Out of my peripheral vision I noticed Edward nod his head. Curiously I turned my head to watch him. He wasn't looking back at me though. He was watching the teacher, I think.

"Ah, I see," he said, sounding as if he found out classified information of a secret mission. "You're unhappy."

I widened my eyes slightly at his declaration.

_I'm _unhappy_?_

"What? No! I just said that it was my only option."

Edward turned in his chair and snapped his fingers, pointing his index finger right in my face.

"Exactly so," he said. "Guess what. I'm throwing a party. You're invited."

As he went from telling me I was unhappy to the fact that he's throwing a party was beyond my understanding.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I mumbled. I removed my eyes from his and looked at the wall beside me.

"Come," he insisted. "It might loosen you up a little."

I couldn't tell from this angle if he was still looking at me, but I hoped he wasn't. I really didn't want to go to some party of his to loosen up. Parties like those usually meant a lot of drinking and dancing.

As an answer, I shook my head.

"Boring prude."

_He is so horrible._

"Do you want a joint?"

"_What?_" I snapped.

I turned my head to him. I must have heard wrong.

"I can give you some if you join my party."

He was actuallyserious! "_No_, thank you. I don't want... _anything_ from you."

"Why not?"

By now I wasn't even really scared anymore, just frustrated for his shallowness.

"You can't judge, Bee. You cannot judge me. You never probably did smoke a joint, but then again, you haven't done that much in your life, have you?"

"Like what?" I asked, trying to remain some of my dignity.

"Anything that resembles fun."

I pressed my lips on each other. _Shallow boy_. He was really getting under my skin.

I had images inside my head that happened almost a decade ago, but still haunted me until this day. I was scared, and maybe _all the time _was overrated, but I was scared for a large proportion of time. Even at night, when I should dream, I was having nightmares.

_I don't know why._

And I wish I didn't. I hated to live in fear. It was a horrible way of living which I would never wish upon somebody else. I didn't want to live in fear. Every day I wished for it to go away.

There were many things I had to do to keep sane, to not lose my mind. Music and books were mostly my savior. When I read words, heard them, or heard the amazing melodies some songs had, I felt less alone, less afraid and less haunted by the past. It felt as if those people who had made the books and music knew what I felt. That made me feel more sane.

And there were a few people on this earth that cared for me, and that was enough for me. I didn't need anything else.

"You say you came here, correct?" he asked me.

"Y-Yes," I stammered.

I felt him conclude something and I knew that whatever his next few words were going to be, they wouldn't be something that could easily be dealt with. He was talking about my personal information.

I slightly jumped as I heard Edward chuckle. "Where exactly is this _here_ that you are talking about?"

Edward was the first to ask where precisely in Forks did I live. At Charlie's, of course, but that was not something I could tell him.

It was easy to say the next words I spoke, because I was simply repeating them and I was probably going to repeat those words very often today or maybe even this week.

"I can't tell."

"You're a mysterious little thing. But let me guess."

Edward turned his body completely to me, causing me to jump up in surprise again and ready to push my chair further away from him, but when my chair didn't budge, I bended my head to the ground and saw Edward's feet on each side of my chair, holding it in place. My body was turned only slightly in his direction, but his was turned so much that he could lean his shoulder on the arm rest and his right arm on the table.

I saw how Edward tapped his chin, as if he was thinking, but in fact, he was mocking me.

"There was a guy."

"There's no guy."

"He did something to you."

"No."

"Then you moved to Forks, landed in a chair next to mine and now you have grabbed everybody's fucking attention because they all try to figure out mysterious Rebecca Dwyer. Am I close?"

Now I understood. Edward was one of those people too. He wanted to know about my _mysterious_ side. He was just curious and that was all there was to it.

I watched him carefully. "No. _Nobody_ did _anything _to me."

This time, Edward was quiet and that surprised me. I turned my head to look at him and was even more surprised when I saw that he had a broad grin on his lips. My mouth dropped a little. He was so rude.

"He broke you," he said in a way that felt as if he didn't want to admit that, but that he did believe that _that _was true.

I wasn't good at lying. Even now, I couldn't tell him any other thing. The capability of saying that nobody broke me was gone. He shook his head again. I quickly tried to say _anything _to deny being broken, but he was more quick.

"Though I can't be sure it was a _he_, I'm guessing it probably was. Girls can be quite horrible, but only boys can cause such damage."

"_No_," I said, with a little more force. He shouldn't be figuring it out, even for just a little bit. It was _enough _that Emmett had figured me out by simply my eyes, but he couldn't figure it out by simply talking about me and what he _thought _had happened.

"When you say no, to what are you referring, may I ask?"

I raised both my eyebrows to myself. He sounded old.

"Anyone can be horrible."

"So you do admit he broke you," he said.

I inhaled sharply, not liking the fact that I had talked so much with Edward already, and now was also _almost _giving him too much information.

"Sometimes life sucks and at times like those, you just need to suck it up and get moving on. Living in the past and living in fear is not living. I've been there, Bee, and it's much better to get out."

This time I watched him with nothing but curiosity. He sounded so certain and for the first time it seemed, he wasn't being somebody cruel and mean.

"I'm adopted."

"Yeah, I know." I nodded my head, but he scowled a little.

"There's a reason that happened."

"What happened?"

I never thought of that, actually. And now Edward was making me curious.

He chuckled beside me. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"That's not a good idea," I said, shaking my head.

I had to admit that he had surprised me. _That _I did not expect. He was - in a way - willing to tell me _whatever_ it was he wanted to tell me.

_Is it something bad?_

"It's not a fair deal?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not really."

I could simply say my name and that was _all_. He, however, would have to say a lot more to explain to me what bad things had happened in his life.

"Do you want more?"

"More?"

Quite honestly, I didn't even remember what we were talking about. My brain felt like one of those night when I held an all-nighter.

I knew that we were _talking_. That was already a very big performance to do at the moment.

"I assume if the deal's unfair you'd want to get more out of it," he said with a raised eyebrow. I scowled while opening my mouth a little. "Getting just my sad story isn't enough. Seems like it then. You're a greedy bitch after all."

Greedy bitch? His sad story? Edward had a sad story?

Well, I bet mine was sadder then his. Not that this was a match between who'd suffered the most.

_Greedy bitch! _He called me that. He thought that _I_ that I was gaining too little out of this _deal_, the deal _he_ made.

"I meant _you_," I quickly mumbled, ignoring the sting his words caused. "It's unfair to you."

I didn't know anything about Edward's history. I knew that he was adopted and his siblings were also adopted. But that was all. If he had to give me his story, we would need a lot of time for him to explain about his past. I thought that was unfair for Edward.

Not just that, he'd be mad. Very, very mad. Whatever was said _now _would long be forgotten by the time he knew who I truly was. And when he found out, I doubted he'd stick to the deal and still tell me about his past.

_Did he really go through something? Edward has demons? Did he suffer too, the way that I suffered? He still is?_

He laughed ever so lightly.

"Let me be the judge of that," he said.

"Don't," I said with a shook of my head. "You don't have to tell me anything."

This time is was Edward who watched mystified but also amused.

"I just think it's very unfair for you, and I don't want you to get mad at me for-"

"Hey? Shut up. You act as if I'll fucking hate you after I know shit about you."

_You will._

"I will find out."

"No, don't." I shook my head a little with it.

"Watch me." He looked conceited.

And I gave up.

_"You should be pissed at us and scream at us."_

For a second I believed Emmett was right. I should have been angry and instead of cowering away, I should be screaming at them for ruining years of my life.

_"Be careful around him."_

Those few words seemed holy now. Jasper was right too. I had to be careful.

_"Don't forget to be cautiousness."_

I hadto remember his last warning. Indeed, never forget to stay cautiousness around Edward, and actually all of them.

"How do you know I'm adopted?" he asked, he eyes watching me in challenge, but also a slight innocent that assured me that he wasn't mad.

_Oh, no._

"Uh..."

_Words, Bella, words!_

"I... don't. I mean, I didn't know."

"You said that you know after I told you." He raised an eyebrow as I remembered my previous reply to him.

"Are you angry?"

He opened his mouth a little as if to say _yes_, only it ends up being a shake of his head and a roll of his eyes.

"I am not mad at you, brown eyes," he said slowly. "And I'll tell you why."

I noticed Edward lean a bit toward me, almost on the near point of making skin contact with me. I was actually curious as to what he was about to say, but Mr. Banner angrily interrupted him.

"Edward, keep your mouth shut for the next twenty-two minutes."

Almost instantly, Edward replied. "That's probably not what you said to your wife this morning."

I blinked. I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly, because also the context of those words weren't quite right. However, I did hear gasps of shock, a wave of whispers that started after that one very cruelthing had been said and also, there was laughter.

"Principal's office! Right now, Mr. Cullen!"

Mr. Banner was furious and I didn't blame him. What Edward just said was really inexcusable.

"Mr. _Cullen_?" Edward asked in fake shock. "What happened to Edward?"

"Leave. Now."

Edward stood up, the strap of his bag already in his hand. He put it around his shoulder and grabbed his Biology book. Slowly - _he's taking his time _- he pushed his chair back, but instead of walking to the door, he leaned down, his lips close to my right ear.

He whispered, "See you in _twenty-two_, cutie."

Edward wasn't mocking just me, but others as well. Right now, he was mocking Mr. Banner. That made me feel slightly better, to not be the only one he mocked with.

I stopped breathing when his breath touched my ear and his words got registered by my brain. _Boxing lesson. After school. _

_Cutie._

"Get out, Edward."

I looked up at Mr. Banner because his voice sounded changed. It seemed like he wasn't fuming anymore. In fact, he was watching us in a rather peculiar way. I wanted to call myself crazy when for a moment I thought there was fascination on his face as he looked from Edward, to me and back at Edward. His eyes lingered on him, so I shifted so I could see Edward and jumped nearly out of my chair when I saw he was still standing very close beside me, hunched. He was grinning. It was quite annoying though, because I didn't know what was funny.

He slowly stood straight without taking his eyes off of me. When I looked back at Mr. Banner, I saw that his eyes were still on Edward. I wondered what _both _of them were thinking.

Eventually, Edward did turn, but I kept my eyes on him until he reached the door and really left to the principal office.

And then, right after he was on a safe distance from me, I could finally breathe again. The strange feeling in my chest that was almost choking me was gone. It was even stranger that I hadn't realized it before, that feeling of being choked when Edward was near me. I only just now got aware of that fact.

_He chokes me with his presence._

I could almost cry at my own stupid weakness. It was such a misfortune. His whole being was confusing me so much that I wasn't able to think clearly.

It was awfully rude of Edward to say what he did to Mr. Banner. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, especially because nobody was able to quiet down their laughter.

So I raised my hand and before Mr. Banner was able to even acknowledge me, I asked the only question that I could think of.

"Did you say that test about chapters nine and ten are tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?"

Everybody in class suddenly groaned and Mr. Banner watched with confusion at me.

"There is no test," he said in confusion. With his next blink, he understood what I was doing. "No, no, Rebecca, I'm sorry I forgot to mention that there will be no test after all."

"Okay," I said.

The class turned to absolute silence and I smiled a little. I probably delivered most of those students a small heart attack, especially when some boy behind me whispered to one of his friends that the chapters nine and ten don't exist.

At least they stopped laughing.


	5. Rule number two

_**Disclaimer**: Not my characters_

_**A/N**_**: **Hi! Thank you everybody so much for still reviewing. I thought I'd lost ya'll...

Seriously, your reviews keep me writing :)

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 5 - Rule number two<em>**

Two strong hands gripped my shoulders from behind me. My entire body jumped in shock.

"Hey, crazy girl."

If it saved my life or not, I screamed from the top of my lungs when I heard Edward's voice and felt _it _again. The feeling of being choked was back again and in a gasp, my screaming stopped.

He was standing behind me, but I didn't turn.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked incredulously.

In a flash, Edward was in front of me. I smelled cigarette smoke and wondered if he'd really gone to the principle's office.

"Was it fun, the last twenty-two minutes of Bio without me?"

After Biology ended, Mr. Banner had told me to wait until all the students left class, because he wanted to talk for a second with me.

Reluctantly, I had waited for all the slow students to finish their conversations, pick up their books and leave the room in the same speed of a snail.

"Rebecca," Mr. Banner began, looking up from his papers and motioning for me to get up.

I picked my bag and notebook the same time as I stood.

"As you have noticed, one of my students is rather, let's say, rude."

"Rude?"

"The boy next to you. Edward Cullen."

Rude was indeed one way to describe Edward Cullen. One among all the other words that could be used against him.

"This may surprise you, but as of lately, this rude behavior has lessened increasingly."

"Lessened? How? You mean-"

"He used to be _much_ more rude," Mr. Banner said quickly. "Yes. I've been beating myself over and over, trying to figure out what changes have been made these past few days. There had to be a reason for Edward to behave..." He seemed to be thinking for a right word. "...better."

I was truly amazed because I now wondered how Edward usually acted if he really behaved better these past few days.

"And I could come up with only one reason."

I waited patiently as he watched me with expectation.

He pointed at me as he said, "You."

"What about me?"

"You're the reason for this changed behavior. Rebecca, boys like Edward are damaged. I've seen many boys like him. Many, so many, have taken the paths of partying, drinking, doing drugs, getting into trouble with society, getting in contact with the police, ending up in prison." He shook his head.

With each passing second, I grew more nervous. Mr. Banner seemed to be knowing things and saying things which felt to me like gossiping. He was trying to tell me something, and I didn't know yet what exactly, but I did know that he badly wanted to have it off his chest.

"All I'm saying is for you to keep doing _whatever _you're doing." He smiled and behind me students entered to room. "Your opinion matters to him."

I took a deep breath and wanted to protest, but instead I nodded a little.

I had walked out of class. My head was full with my own thoughts. And as I rounded a corner, apparently and very unfortunately, Edward had found me.

Being in class without Edward was quite nice. In a way time seemed to fly when I sat alone, with not Edward beside me asking questions or making mean comments.

Edward turned and walked toward the gymnasium without giving me real time to think about the answer to his question. Then again, he had been rhetorical.

When we reached the door that could be opened from both sides, Edward pushed it hard and I had to stop it from not hitting me back in the face.

I had _just _in time caught the door with both my hand and pushed it open just enough so I could slip through. I thought Edward hadn't noticed, but when I found him on the other side of the door, he was actually looking at me.

"Reflexes are... okay," he said, his tone slightly hesitant. Also, it suggested completely otherwise. His tone told me my reflexes were bad. His eyes shifted to the door that led to the boys changing room, then back at me. "I think I have some clothes for you. Wait here."

He nearly threw a door in my face to check my reflexes. Was he absolutely crazy?

He went inside the room and the door closed behind him. I waited there for at least five minutes and still there was no sign of him turning back. I glanced back, looking through the windows. From this angle, I noticed the lockers inside the school building and students walking outside, ready to go home.

I tried to see if I could find my locker, and searched with my eyes.

"Do you really think Edward likes you?" Tanya asked.

I noticed the cheerleaders and five other girls I had seen in my other classes as well. They all were laughing and I scowled.

"So you want to learn how to fight, is that it?" she continued.

I looked at the girls. There were a lot more then just the cheerleaders. By the looks they were giving me, it seemed like they had already formed their opinion about me. _They hate me._

"What are you talking about?" I asked instead, looking at the group just standing a few yards away from me.

I looked over their heads to the door behind them, the one Edward had so rudely pushed open, but I could see through the glass that nobody was around.

Just in any case, I could always call for Edward, who was behind the door of the boy's changing room.

_Just in case..._

"If you want a fight," Tanya said, slowly taking a few steps to me, "then all you got to do is say it."

I scowled at Tanya and she surprised me by taking the few steps closer to me, then placing her hands on my shoulders, holding me tightly and giving me a hard push sideways. It caused me to fall toward the door where Edward had just walked through. My head came in hard contact with that door and I gasped at the pain surging through my head.

"Get up," Tanya said, her voice sounding... _angry?_ "You wanted a fight? Now you get it."

I placed my hand on my soar head. Was she insane? Were they all mentally crazy? I wanted nothing to do with any fight, or even boxing. Where did she get the illusion?

"Get up, you stupid bitch!" Tanya hissed.

All girls cheered her until I felt another pain, but this one had gone straight up my side, close by my ribs and this time I yelped, just by the sheer fright of thinking that she had indeed kicked me. My body felt heavy as I leaned against the door behind me with the side of my shoulder.

I didn't stay there for long, because my body fell backwards, away from the door. The door was moving. I fell flat on the ground and looked up, but before I saw anything, another pain hit me again, this time on the top of my head.

"Ouch!" I screamed, and the heavy weight of the door was away again.

As Edward had opened the door, he had also released it, and it had closed automatically, hitting me on the head.

_It's just my luck._

"Fuck," Edward cursed, as he went down his knees above my head. "What are you doing, Becky?"

When I looked sideways, I saw that the door was touching Edward's back. He was preventing it from closing again. I closed my eyes tightly, hoping the pain would go away. My head was pounding with the two blows it had received and I kept an arm over my waist, my hand clutching my soar side.

Some of the pain did go away and when I opened my eyes, I saw Edward's face upside down, looking at the girls with a scowl.

"What did you do?" he asked in disbelief.

"_Nothing_," Tanya replied. "It's not my fault the cry baby fell over her own feet."

Edward looked down and his eyes ran over my hand that was clutching my side.

"Really?" Edward asked. "Did she fall on her side?"

"Who knows?" she asked. I glanced at her and she rolled her eyes. "Who cares?"

"You really don't know, huh?" he asked. His eyes locked with mine and he placed all his ten fingers lightly on my shoulders.

I wasn't sure yet if, even for only this little moment, I could trust him or not. He was handling me gently and it seemed like he was on my side.

It seemed like he was picking up a fight... with the girls.

"No," Tanya replied. "Am I lying, girls?"

"No way."

"Totally not."

"She fell."

"Lunatic."

"Tripped."

"Stupid bitch."

The last one was said by Tanya.

I tried to blink with my eyes a few times, because I was beginning to feel them fill with a little bit of too many tears.

"Tanya," Edward slowly said, placing his hands on my upper arms and having us both standing in a flash of second.

"Yes, honey?"

This quick movement that Edward made caused dizziness, but fortunately left just a few seconds later. I heard the door close. He held me a while longer, just to see if I stood stable, which I now did, and then he released me and turned his back on me. I put my hand on the door handle for a bit support.

He was really broad, I noticed now, since he stood so close before me. And tall too. Edward was so tall, which actually made me feel small. He had positioned himself in front of me in a way that made it impossible for me to see Tanya's face.

He crossed his arms and said, "Stop lying."

"Edward!" she said in innocence.

"If you ever fight her again, while ignoring the rules-"

"Edward," Tanya said in her whining voice, her hand suddenly appearing in my view as it was reaching for his face, but his hand grabbed her wrist and stopped her hand from moving one inch further.

"-I'll fucking kill you," he finished. "You got that, bitch?"

_Is Edward threatening Tanya?_

"Edward," Tanya said, but her voice had a nervous edge while she walked around him and glanced in my way. "You don't know her. You can't care for her. She's not even pretty. I mean, come on! How can you care about _her_?" She watched me disgustingly.

"You play dirty," he said, his voice deadly calm. "And unfortunately for you I don't like that."

Now, Tanya's eyebrows shot up and she pulled her hand violently out of Edward's hand.

"Really?" she asked, her voice filled with sarcasm. "And what about you, mister? You play fair? Do you think she," Tanya turned and pointed her finger nearly in my face, "is anything _close _to what _I_ am? Do you think she's slightly as good as I am?"

Then the door, the one that I had previously seen nobody at, was burst open and in the hallway came Mike, Tyler, Eric and Seth. They were all laughing loudly and watching the scene in front of them.

"Rebecca is much, much better then you ever will be, Tanya," Seth said.

"That girl's got skill, and I barely even know her," Eric said.

"And self-respect," Tyler added.

"She would never do what you do to Edward on a nearly daily-basis, because she could never stoop that low," Mike finished.

Tanya groaned loudly and angrily.

Edward chuckled and all heads snapped to him. Even I tried to catch a glimpse of his face, but he wouldn't turn. He raised his hands, almost as if to defend himself.

"What?" he asked.

"What's funny, Cullen?" Seth asked.

"All of you," Edward replied, his head turned to the boys. "But mostly Mikey."

"I hate you! I don't ever want to see you again!" Tanya screamed at Edward, giving me such a fright I inched further into the wall. She ran to the girl's changing room and the other girls ran after her, except for Rosalie, who looked at Edward.

"Well done, brother," she said sarcastically. "You either stick with the girl or you don't."

"Tanya knows what I want from her and sorry to crack the ice, but I can't help if she still hopes for things I can't give her," he said with a lazy shrug. "I'm not her boyfriend. And she's not my girlfriend, sister."

Rosalie glared at him and was about to turn, but Edward stopped her.

"What about you and them," he pointed his head toward the girl's changing room, "anyway? Since when did you all box on Wednesdays?"

Rosalie glanced at me and I widened my eyes at the hostility I saw in them.

"Huh," was Edward all said. "Interesting."

Though Edward had his back on me, I knew that _he _knewthat Rosalie was watching me.

Finally Rosalie left too, stepping into the girl's changing room. Slowly Edward turned and glanced at everyone in the hallway. Before his eyes could reach mine, I had already shifted mine to look at Seth.

"Rosalie's got issues," Tyler said.

"No more then Edward," Mike muttered.

They were talking as if Edward wasn't even there. When I looked at Edward, I saw his raised eyebrows. He was watching Mike and Mike was looking back at him.

"Thought you were smarter then that, Mikey boy," Edward said.

Then Edward turned to me, his eyes scanning my face.

"Told you," he said.

I scowled, and without looking at him I asked, "Told me what?"

"You've grabbed everyone's fucking attention," he said.

Edward opened the door of the boy's changing room and I quickly had to let go of the door handle. He gave me some clothes and shoes that were lying there on the floor. Those were Alice's shoes, the ones I had worn yesterday.

"Found this for you. I'll meet you at the gym."

Before I had time to think about where the clothes came from, why I had Alice's shoes in my possession _again_ and where I could possibly change into the clothes I was given without getting harassed by my classmates _again_, I had Mike standing next to me, putting his arm around me.

"Change inside one of the bathrooms in the boy's changing room," he said. "Some birdie told me you're not the most favorite person with those girls over there." He pointed back at where they were changing.

"I don't think that's wise," I mumbled, looking at my feet. "I mean..."

_I can't change in the boy's changing room._

This time Mike was interrupted by the one and only himself.

"Mikey boy is right," Edward said.

I raised my head in confusion and noticed Edward watching me with challenge. _Not again. _

"Come."

He pushed the door open and leaned against it so it wouldn't fall back and close. Before I could stop whatever these guys wanted me to do, Mike had me already pushing inside that room and the other boys were right behind me, so I had no where to run to.

_Is everybody in this town on Edward's side?_

When I was in, I heard the door behind me shut and all the guys slowly reached their lockers and pulled out their things. I barely looked as I tried to frantically find an area that had a door with a lock on it.

I wanted to curse badly and then die.

"Coco, over there."

Without looking back, I just went straight for the opening between the walls, which were probably what would lead me to the showers. When I got in there, I was right. Except, there wasn't a door to close, let alone lock it.

"Coco?" I heard Seth asked. "As in coconut?"

"Chocolate?" Tyler asked.

I heard Edward laugh and I held unto the clothes tightly.

"Told you," Mike said. "He's got issues."

"It runs in the Cullen blood," Seth said.

"Must be," Eric said.

"Look at Rosalie," Seth said.

"The bird, Cullen?" Mike asked.

"What?" Edward asked, his voice carrying a little bit of laughter.

"You know, the bird? The cucu bird."

"Mike, what the hell are you talking about?" Seth asked.

"I think you mean the Cuckoo," Eric said.

"Yeah, whatever," Mike said. "The bird."

"That's too far fetched," Seth said.

"You think?" Mike asked.

"Why would he call her a bird?" Seth asked.

In response, Edward laughed.

"Tell her to hurry, and get to the gym," Edward eventually said. It was then I heard a door open and close and I guessed that Edward had left.

"How's everything going, Rebecca?" Seth asked.

"Fine," I croaked out.

In fact, I even hadn't moved. I had been listening with the clothes in my fist.

"Okay, well, we'll see you at the gym," he said.

"Yeah. Oh, and hurry," Mike said jokily.

"Thanks a lot," I mumbled.

And finally when I heard the door close, I knew I was alone and made sure to be fast with the changing of clothes. I had to roll the shorts that Edward had given me two times around the top so they wouldn't fall off my hips. The shirt was sleeveless and I was quite sure that these were boxing clothes. The shorts were broad at the end, touching my calves.

These clothes were slightly too big and I stopped myself in thinking that there was a possibility that they belonged to the person who gave them to me.

I grabbed my clothes and brought them to the changing room and put them somewhere in a corner that seemed clean enough with my bag next to it. Then I entered the gym as well. It had been transformed from a simple high school gymnasium to a boxing gym. I noticed several punch bags hanging from the ceiling, several other punching stuff I had seen before, but only in movies. It was pretty stuffed with students; all of them were in my year though.

They were all so very serious with this boxing thing and not just the boxing, also during gym the day before yesterday when we were playing basketball; the boys and girl were playing as if they cared for their high marks. I always took satisfaction with a C, but these students were aiming for the A plus.

A few began to whisper and suddenly all eyes were looking straight at me and I tried to keep a straight neck and walked as if I didn't care why they were looking at me.

Eventually I made it to the boys, with Edward among them. Mike and Tyler quickly began their conversation again, putting on gloves. Seth and Eric glanced at me one more time, until they too slowly started to talk again. Edward was just sitting on a black boxing look-a-like thing and stared at me.

_Stop staring at me._

Edward got up and I noticed a roll of white gauze in his hand. He stopped in front of me and again I noticed that most conversations stopped.

I took a shaky breath, which Edward noticed, because the side of his mouth went up.

"Nervous?"

What was wrong with these people? Why didn't they just continue doing their thing and pretend I wasn't there?

"Damn, girl," he muttered, grabbing my hand and placing between both his own. "Why are you so tense?"

He rubbed my hand between his own.

"You're always this tense?"

I tried to pull my hand out of his hands, only he pulled on my hand too.

"Where are you going?" he asked teasingly, only when I looked up at him, his eyes turned serious. "What happened there with Tanya? What did she say? Tell me the truth."

"You said you wouldn't touch me," I said instead.

"I lied. Get over it. Now tell me, what happened?"

"She... Just nothing."

"You're rigid. C'mone, tell me. What did she do?"

The way his fingers pressed into my hand wasn't bad. It actually made me realize that even my hand was tense.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about?" he asked in irritation.

My hand remained in his. "No."

"You're so fucking annoying. Do you like being treated like crap?"

He put his hands on my shoulders, but not roughly the way Tanya did. His fingers weren't even pressing inside my flesh, but were only lying lightly on top of my shoulders.

"You need to learn how to relax. I can't work with you when you're so fucking rigid."

I pushed both his hands away from my shoulders.

"Remember that joint?"

I watched him incredulously and he winked.

"I'll never smoke a-"

" I have to put these around your hands. So your pretty fingers won't break."

"You know, Edward, she can just wear gloves like the rest of us," Rosalie said. "She ain't special."

Because Edward didn't turn his head, but instead looked at me, I myself found it easier to ignore Rosalie, because that's what Edward was doing as well.

But then he looked at my hands.

"You're shivering. Why?"

He brought his green confused eyes to mine.

"Hey, brother, I'm talking to you!"

Edward chuckled softly, and I was sure I was the only one who heard.

"He's ignoring you," Jessica stated.

"She's got a brain!" Mike cheered and the boys around him held in their laughter.

"Give me your hand," Edward said, pulling at the gauze until he found the beginning and pulled out a yard. I was staring at his hands and the gauze and eventually looked up to see him staring at me with a lifted eyebrow. "Come on, Coco, we haven't got all day."

Slowly I lifted my shivering hand and left it hanging in the air. I noticed a loop that was on the very beginning of the gauze and Edward put that on the inside of my thumb and placed the gauze over the top of my hand to my wrist and rounded it, until I had the gauze around my wrist. He turned the gauze and did this three times. I knew this because I was counting.

Edward stopped when I looked up and he looked back at me. Quickly, I looked back at his work and he slowly continued. The way he worked made me briefly think that it wasn't Edward doing it. I thought that the person in front of me had transformed into another person. But it was still Edward there, and it was still him, holding the gauze.

"Don't be nervous," he said calmly.

_That's easy for you to say._

His hand seemed so calm as they worked over my shivering one. It was embarrassing, but there was nothing else I could do about it.

"Because if it's Tanya or any of those other whores, they're off your back. They can't hurt you."

_They can. They have. They will._

He rounded the gauze over my pinkie, bringing it over my knuckles and involuntarily, my fingers loosened, bended.

"Keep your hand open," he said, putting his own hand over my fingers and pulling them in his direction.

I wasn't sure what he even meant by that, but I stretched my fingers, keeping them also apart from each other. I guessed I did it right, because Edward continued to - again three times - place the gauze over my knuckles, to the inside of my hand and back.

The gauze suddenly went to my thumb, covering the inside of it. He did that twice and covered my wrist again with the gauze.

It couldn't be Edward, but when I looked, it was really him. This time, Edward didn't stop or look.

My hand was being covered with the gauze and I felt the pull around my wrist, then I felt the gauze go in between my fingers, first in between the space of my pinkie and ring finger, then my middle finger and ring finger, and eventually, my front finger and middle finger. He repeated this process with deep concentration, I noticed. The pressure went to my wrist again.

"Open."

I quickly stretched my fingers again, because I had begun bending them around the knuckles. Now I looked back at his handiwork and saw him turn the gauze over my pinkie and knuckles, turning it.

"Make a fist."

"What?"

Instantly, our eyes locked. It was as if we had a miscommunication and we had to look at each other in order to understand one another. It seemed as if Edward was angry, but after he saw something on my face, he grinned.

"Bend your fingers slowly and place your thumb over them." He slowly raised one eyebrow. "You think you can manage that for me?"

"Uh," I mumbled, doing what he said. He pulled the gauze toward my pinkie.

"Unfist."

I didn't do anything.

"Unfist," he repeated.

This time when we looked at each other, I blinked. He chuckled.

"Unclench your fist."

A second too late, I did what he wanted me to do, because I had been staring into his green eyes, which I realized now, were very green, how even stupid that may sound, even in my own head. It was as if now was the first time I actually really saw them. I swear that other times, they had seemed a darker shade of green but now they were bright.

After the gauze made another round on my palm and back over my knuckles, he told me to make a fist and back unfisting my fist. He returned to my wrist, my knuckles, and my wrist. I lost count of what he did and how many times he did it, but finally I saw the ending of his gauze and after he turned it around my wrist a few more times, he pressed that ending on top of my wrist.

"Make a fist," Edward said.

I made a fist. Edward touched the gauze in several places, then nodded.

"Still won't tell me what's making you this nervous?"

I felt like he was actually bothering a lot with doing this boxing learning for me.

"So we'll just wrap the other on up and get started," he said, taking another gauze and doing exactly the same as he did with the other hand. He was using just as much care as before. "So, they're not too tight?"

I looked at my both wrapped in gauzed hands. "No?"

"No?" he asked. "Does one of your hands feel tingly? Numb?" I shook my head. "'Kay. Then it's good."

"What if...?" I began, stopping slowly as I wasn't sure I wanted Edward to know my fears and doubts.

Edward crossed his arms and stared at me, slowly raising an eyebrow as he waited. However, I only stared back.

"Go on, kid."

I glanced at the ground, making fists involuntarily, feeling the pleasant tightness of the gauze around my hands. It's wasn't half that bad. What was bad, was that he called me kid.

"What if I... don't get enough skills by the time... when that competition is up? What if I get hit knocked-out or something like that?"

_I'm not a very strong person._

Edward rolled his eyes. "Bee, that won't happen. You got me to teach you everything you need to know."

He had to bend down slightly to reach my wrists, grabbed those and lifted them until they were at the same eyelevel as mine.

"This is where you want your fists to be. Protection for your head."

I was frozen, because he was holding both of my wrists.

"You let people walk over you because you like it, or else you would just tell them to piss off," he said casually.

"_No_."

"Where do you live?"

"I already said... I can't tell."

With one glance, I noticed every person in the gym was staring at us. Edward turned his head as well.

"_Everyone's fucking attention_," Edward mumbled sarcastically. "Okay. Look. Just punch me once in my hand." He raised his hand to me, his palm in my direction. My wrists were finally free.

"You should know, I've never done this-"

"Just punch," he interrupted.

"I'm not sure if I'm even good-"

"Just hit my hand, _Rebecca_," he interrupted again, with a bit more agitation, using the name I had told him not to use. I flinched, because I realized that I didn't mind being called Coco. Rebecca was a lie, and Coco was not.

_Coco is just a word, made up by Edward._

"I-"

"Hit!"

After that interruption, I did punch him, my right gauzed hand colliding on his right palm. He hadn't screamed or even sounded angry when he said punch. There was even some mirth I detected. He was clearly enjoying this.

"You can't hit."

"S-Sorry?" I mumbled.

"I was already planning to say you hit like a girl, but you don't even deserve _that_ because you can barely hit."

He turned on his heels and went straight into the mass of people, well it wasn't a mass, but it seemed like a lot, and he stopped when he was practically in the middle of the group in front of a boxing bag.

Edward glanced back and motioned for me to come closer. I walked until I stood beside the bag as well. And without any warning, Edward crouched a little, made fists, raised them, his shoulder went back and instantly turned back to the bag, while his fist reached for the bag in one striking fast motion and his fist collided with the heavy bag, making it move a few inches. And there was an echo, briefly.

He smirked once he caught me eye. "See the difference? Yours was... I don't know... a stroke or whatever. Get here."

He pointed at the place in front of him. I didn't want to stand in between him and the boxing bag.

I stared at a few students around us, who slowly resumed back to their own boxing training. But there were still a few that remained looking at us.

"Rebecca," he said with a quick laugh. "Get here."

"Why?"

He rolled his eyes. He grabbed my upper arm and pulled me quickly toward him, his body almost touching mine. I stopped breathing and felt his mouth close by my ear.

"I don't know what the fuck is scaring you so much, but this room is stuffed with our classmates that like you a lot more than that they like me. And see those?"

He pointed at a few black things hanging in each corner of the gymnasium.

"Everything is getting recorded by those cameras. You're covered. Now please, stop being scared. In fact, stop thinking at all."

He leaned back and pulled me in front of him, my back facing him. I was facing a lot of black. It was the bag he had previously hit.

"When you strike, don't just bring your fist to the bag. Move forward with your shoulder too. It adds up to the strength. It requires for you to relax but also flex your muscles. It's rather difficult in the beginning, but it's like swimming. Once you get the hang of it, you never forget."

"There wasn't a camera," I stated as I thought back.

Edward remained quiet behind me as I took a shaky breath.

"In the corner you pushed me at the lockers," I explained. "There wasn't a camera there."

His silence was enough answer for me. I punched the bag for the sake of doing something.

"I swim like a drowning dog," I mumbled. "My swim teacher gave up teaching me."

"You can't swim?"

I turned to him with a scowl because he sounded hopeful. "I can. To survive. Not for fun."

He nodded, bringing his eyes to the bag.

Still feeling awkward for the way he asked me if I couldn't swim, I hit the bag two times.

I caught Mike's eyes. He smiled. I was about to smile back when Edward behind me talked.

"Do you have a crush on the punch bag?"

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"If you keep stroking it like that, he's going to think you like him. He might even like you back."

As I heard Edward's stupid words, I was still looking at Mike, who was watching with a couple of strange mix of emotions on his face.

"You know what he's doing, right?" Mike called to me from the distance we were standing. "He's trying to get a rise out of you."

"A what?" I called back. Edward appeared from behind me and stood on my right side, where I sensed him even better.

"To get you angered," Mike said. "So you'll hit the bag, instead of-"

He abruptly stopped himself from continuing that sentence and Edward threw his head back and laughed. Even Seth, Eric and Tyler laughed.

I was sure that Mike wasn't really on Edward's side, they weren't even friends, but Mike almost said too that I was stroking the bag instead of hitting it.

"Thanks a lot," I murmured.

Nobody heard me anyway.

"It's okay, Coco," Edward said.

I _guessed_ nobody had heard me. Apparently, _somebody_ did.

When I looked at him, he added, "You got me."

_How is that a comfort?_

I barely kept my eyes on him and turned to stare at the black devil in front of me that, according to others, I was stroking.

"Imagine the person you hate most. Can you do that?"

After Edward said that, I looked at Tanya. I really looked at her. She was wearing white boxing clothes, with golden edges. Her pants reached just above her knees and it was a perfect fit because of her long, slender legs. She had her hair pulled in a pony tail high up her head and shocked me when I saw her eyes looking straight at me. However, I tried doing the one thing Edward told me.

_Think of nothing._

So instead of lowering my eyes, I shifted them to the girl next to her. Rosalie's abdomen and back were showing, because her shorts reached low on her hip and whatever she was wearing above was revealing too much. I think it was a sports bra specially designed for girls like Rosalie. Her body was in perfect shape, with around the edges well-trained muscles. In these clothes she seemed aggressive, almost just as aggressive as when she used to give me those hard pushes until I bruised. She had tied her hair in a tight knot, also way up high on her head. It made the edges of her face more prominent and I hated to admit it, but also more beautiful.

Jessica and Lauren were not nearly as visible as Tanya and Rosalie. Their clothes were very similar to mine, except theirs were actually _their size_. Also they were wearing colors, pink Jessica and yellow Lauren. I was black Bella. Now that I thought of it, so was Edward.

_Shit. _Edward and I were the only ones in black. The boys that seemed to be nice to me were wearing white and all the other students wore mostly blue, green or grey. But nowhere else did I spot a black outfit.

The unknown girls that were close by Tanya and Rosalie seemed more like Jessica and Lauren, pawns placed in between the king and queen. Actually, queen and queen. Tanya and Rosalie.

_They're looking at me._

Most girls were looking at me as if I indeed was the black sheep. I didn't belong here. I wasn't supposed to be here next to a boxing bag with Edward beside me.

Somewhere in the back of the gym I noticed Alice and Jasper. Alice in her red outfit looked away from me with disappointment in her eyes and Jasper - wearing lemon green - began talking to her. She must have told him that I'd insulted her. These two people, even though they never hurt me, never did one thing to stop their siblings. They never tried. They had that power over their siblings, a power which I never had, but they never used it. For the little help I could have used from time to time, they never helped me. They either watched or walked away and chose to ignore what happened.

Hate was a strong word and that's not what I felt. However, I didn't have to picture the people I disliked the most, because they were right here in the same room as I was.

"Come on, Rebecca," Tyler called. "Show him he's wrong."

And then there was Edward, the leader, the one that would sometimes be a little nice to me, but then change to a demon that took all nice things with him and made everything ten times worse. He used to kill me with his words and actions.

I didn't remember when exactly it was that I asked him why he didn't want to be my friend. It must have been the first or second week I met him. When I was young, I was still very naïve and forgiving. So I remember that I had gone straight to him and his little friend group he had created around him.

In the beginning he was pretty okay. He answered my questions.

"Won't you be my friend?" I had asked.

"No."

"Or just play?"

"No."

"Anything, it could be anything."

"_No_."

After that, Edward had gotten up and left me and his friend group, while most of them just stared at me.

That day was around the nicest he had ever been to me. After that all the memories were painful to think about.

I felt it. My eyes went up to the boy that was a teenager now and I felt it. It was little and brief, but the urge to hit was there. Most of the rise I got was when I looked at Edward. With one glance at the punch bag, I made fists and turned my shoulder in sync with my right fist and punched the bag. It didn't move the way when Edward hit it and there was no echo what so ever, but by the grins they boys on the other side were giving me, I guessed it was a hit worth to be called _okay_.

"Better," Edward said. "Who did you think about?"

"You don't want to know," I said, not looking at him.

"I will find out," he whispered. _Crap. _He had crouched again a little so that he had his head close to mine, but I had missed this movement.

"I know," I said in defeat. I nodded my head. What was the point in denying anyway? Edward was right. He just had to hear my name and he'd know why I had all these worries and fears.

Maybe Emmett would tell him after all. Or he'd figure out himself. Whichever way he'd find out, it wasn't going to be pretty.

Nearly all fifteen girls that were in the gym turned away and began hitting on the bags themselves. At least I lost the attention of fifteen pair of eyes. I watched how the girls moved as they hit the bag.

"Do I really have to box for gym?" I asked as I stared at Tanya now.

"Yep," Edward answered.

I looked up and his eyes were on Tanya as well.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked, but the words had slipped out without any of my intention of saying them.

Edward snapped his head to me and quickly stood in front of me as he grabbed both my upper arms. I raised my eyes with alarm.

"You don't know anything about hate," he deadpanned. "I could be a lot worse."

"I'm sorry," I squeaked, standing frozen in front of Edward.

"Cullen!" Seth called. His voice carried a warning.

"Let her go, man," Mike called shortly after.

"No, no!" That was Tanya. "Why should he? Go on, Edward, give her what she deserves."

"Fucking Tanya," Edward muttered. Then Edward's eyes turned the lightest shade of apologetic. "I think I'm starting to know what makes you nervous."

With wide eyes, I stared at him. I was too much frozen to step out of his grip.

"Nearly everybody. Yeah, sure there are a few people you seem to trust just a little bit, but I'm not one of them."

"I'm sorry," I apologized in a whisper.

Edward drew out a breath harshly. "Lesson number one. No apologies while you're with me. I don't want any."

"Okay," I mumbled. "Okay..."

"If someday I don't act like a gentleman and your fear increases, then do apologize, to save your own ass. That is lesson number two."

I shook my head. "I don't get it."

"I detest apologies. I thought I made that clear?" He shook his head a little. "You don't need to get it, just remember, lesson number one is no apologies, and lesson number two is to apologize when you feel unsafe around me. Got it or need I to specify it more?"

That would mean I would need to constantly apologize to him.

I still didn't get it, because he didn't bother explaining.

"If I have the impression you're not good enough by the time the competition is up, I won't fill in the consent form as positive," he said. "And if I don't fill in the consent form with positive comments, you won't get anywhere near the ring."

"There's a consent form?"

"A very official consent form," Edward said. He slowly released my upper arms.

I sighed. Part of me was relieved. Another part of me wished I was in Phoenix. A very different part wanted to continue hitting the bag. And I did. I hit it three more times with my right hand. Edward hit three times on the bag as well, but he did it quite differently. I just didn't know what he did that I didn't.

Edward smirked when he saw I was staring at his arm. I guess I knew what the difference was caused by. Edward had muscles on his arm and I just had skin and bones.

Then his eyes went big and I feared it the most. He looked at me as if he had figured out who I really was. However, his next words were not my real name.

"Did we fu- have sex?"

Now my eyes widened, either in disgust or shock, I didn't know. "_No_."

"Huh," was all he said. "Was I drunk?"

Edward turned to the punch bag and hit it several times in different angles with both fists. When he was done, he glanced in my way. I'm not sure what I looked like, but he was already laughing.

"Oh, I guess not," he said. "C'mon, hit the bag."

And I did for I don't know how long, every now and then letting Edward adjust my arms or wrist, telling me how to hit and where on the punch bag was best to hit it.

_Think of nothing._

Just hit the damn thing. By the time I was sweating and breathing hard, I went over to the bag that was lying on the ground and where Edward had previously been sitting on and I sat on it. Finally I could rest.

Edward had disappeared into the boys changing room but not soon after gotten out and the path he was walking lead him straight to me. I noticed Tanya hitting the bag harder as she watched him and I suddenly understood what she was trying. She wanted his attention, but he was staring at me and handed me a sports drink. Slowly I took it while I kept my eyes only on the bottle and drank half of it.

It was difficult to keep my eyes off of Tanya and her perfect boxing strikes. She and I had been punching for the same amount of times and while I was dog-tired, she didn't seem out of breath.

_Embarrassing._

Edward pulled the bottle out of my hand and drank some of it himself. I stared with wide eyes at the cap on his mouth as he made loud sucking sounds, the sort of sounds I actually tried to avoid. He released the cap and handed the bottle back to me.

"Want more?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the lot.

"No," I croaked.

He drank some more with a lot of _noise_ and got an occasional glare from Tanya. _Guess she hears him too._

"I made you scream twice," Edward stated dryly. "Care to explain that?"

"I can't," I mumbled. "You... I just... Then... You appeared out of thin air."

"Not the first time," he said.

_No, the first time you tried to lift my shirt up and who knows what._

"She's so ugly," Tanya's distant voice said.

Yeah, why didn't she point her finger as well, so that way everybody knew she was talking about me. I put my elbow on my knee and my chin on my hand while looking down.

Insults still hurt, no matter if you told yourself that they weren't true.

"She looks absolutely like a slob," Tanya continued. "Did she even look in the mirror this morning?"

"Well, who cares?" Rosalie asked.

"Because _he _is sitting with that _bitch_," Tanya snapped. "What, did he like, change his sex diet to girls like _her_?"

Edward shifted beside me, so that his head was turned to me. His lower arms were on his knees, his hands dangling between his legs. I saw this out of the corner of my eyes.

"I think I have to go home-" I began, when Tanya's high pitched voice rudely cut me off.

"I bet she even paid him money to spend time with him." She laughed loudly. "It must have been _a lot _for him to say yes."

Their laughter was like a fist, striking on an already sore wound. They just made it bleed some more.

My eyes shifted to nearly everywhere as I didn't know which place to look at was smart. Without announcing this time that I was leaving, I dropped my arm and put my hand on the black seat, but I never was allowed to push myself up.

Edward put his arm around my chest and he pushed me down quickly until I laid down on the seat. He too had followed, so that his body was turned in my direction, almost touching mine. I was too frozen to move, but only for a moment, because I blinked quickly and brought my head to my left, only there were no students there. I only saw Edward's chest.

"What is he...? Is he _kissing _her? Oh my God! He is!"

Tanya kept talking and talking, while Edward raised his hand to my head and ran the back of his fingers over my fallen hair beside me on the seat.

"Edward!" Tanya called.

Without turning back to actually see her, he raised his hand and pointed her his middle finger. I widened my eyes at the gesture his hand made.

I heard angry people but their voices became distant, until I heard a door open and close. I assumed they left.

Edward pulled up and I was left there, lying on my back with my eyes on the ceiling.

_What on earth happened?_

"How... What did you..." I muttered while I pushed myself back up in a sitting position. "Why did you do what?" I whispered.

Edward glanced back with a crooked grin.

"Oh, well, I hate it when girls cry."

I scowled and he rolled his eyes.

"Or if they're on the verge of crying, very upset, or whatever. Besides, I couldn't let you leave with her saying those things about you," Edward said. "Also, you don't tell me what she did while I was gone."

"I can't," I replied hysterically. "There are things I can't tell you. Ever."

This time he held my eyes as he slowly opened his mouth. "If you say stuff like that to me, you're asking for it. It'll only make me want to know more what it is you're hiding. The question is, when will I finally find out?"

He winked and I only shook my head.

I was pleading as I shook my head.

But Edward shrugged and said, "There can't be much you've done wrong. If you have, you'll have your reasons. But my guess," he leans a little forward and starts to whisper, "is that it's all in your head. It's fucking with you. It's fucking you backwards like a maniac."

My heart quickened just like that and I watched him horrified. He grinned. He only grinned as if nothing he ever said sounded vulgar or absolutely strange.

"What I'm trying to say is that... you should join my party and smoke that joint."

Before I could even reply, he's already stood up and walked to the dressing room.

Back in the boy's changing room, after wearing my own clothes again, I tore out a piece of paper from my notebook and scribbled a note for Alice. I gave Edward the shoes that belonged to his sister, together with the note.

"What's this?" Edward said, holding the folded paper between his index and middle finger.

"For Alice," I said, turning my back on him and leaving all the boys still in their boxing clothes behind me.

When I wanted to, I could be quick, and I had yanked of the gauze off my hands and thrown them in my bag. Edward told me to keep them and the clothes as well. As soon as I had my own, I would return them to him though.

Perhaps this morning I was mistaken and I did survive the long, many hours. But that didn't mean that someday very soon everybody in town would know I lied about my name and I couldn't help but care what they would think of me. I only hoped they would understand my reasonings.

~#~

_I'm sorry, Alice, but we can't be friends,  
>because if you really knew me,<br>I know you'd hate me.  
>Thank you for the shoes.<br>I'll bring my own tomorrow._

I closed the note and gave it to Alice back at home and threw her shoes on the ground. Alice glanced at the note and when she opened it, her eyes ran over the words several times.

Then she glared at me.

"I hate you," she said with venom in her voice.

"What the hell did I do to you?"

"Absolutely nothing! But if you make her cry again, your ass is going to hurt."

After I raised my eyebrow at her, she grabbed one of the shoes that were on the ground and threw it at me, but I caught it. She threw the second and I caught it with my second hand. She got up angrily and ran to her room, slamming the door with a loud thud.

She screamed, "I hate you, Edward Cullen!"

I shouldn't have caught the shoes, but it was my own reflex. I did deserve some physical pain, if I really had made the girl cry. I didn't see any tears, but if Alice said she cried, I guess she was right.

What Alice didn't know was that I'd made the girl scream as well. She screamed in fear and I planned on figuring out what scared her so much.

~#~

For the following days, Edward only talked to me about boxing and nearly nothing else.

"Punch harder. Use your left hand."

"Hit it again."

"You're too slow."

"Is that seriously all you can give?"

"Hurry up!"

"You have to move faster."

I hadn't been able to buy boxing clothes for myself, so I was still wearing unfortunately the clothes Edward had given me, with also his boxing gauze around my hands.

"Please," I said. "I never told you I could do this. I never told you I'm even good at this."

In the cafeteria I never saw him anymore. Neither did I see Tanya. If Mike was right, I guess I did know what they were doing, even though Edward did say that he was trying to get rid of Tanya.

It was a comfort that I only saw him during PE - which was only two hours a week - at the ending of the day during Biology and after Biology in the gym for the boxing training.

Edward looked at me straight in the eye.

"No, you didn't, but you are giving up."

In a desperate attempt to do anything except see his stare, I hit the bag one more time.

"I don't want to box," I said. "I don't even want to be here." Frustration wasn't working in my best effort. I blurted out things that were better left unsaid.

"So you're a quitter. You quit when things get tough."

I hoped the look I gave him told him that that was not true. I did do my best, but he didn't believe me, because he rolled his eyes and pointed toward his girlfriend, sister, and the other girls.

"Do you think they fight like that just because they simply _can_? They trained hard and made long hours to get that fit."

I stared at them. Rosalie and Lauren were sparring. They were quite equally good, both at punching and blocking. Whenever one of them did get punched, they wouldn't even budge, but simply continue the fight. At the end, they laughed together, meaning no harm done.

"I haven't even taught you how to block yet," Edward said. "Because you're a damn slow learner."

My next punch would have collided hard and fast, if it weren't for Edward that blocked me in what seemed like only a nanosecond. I guess he had a right to block himself, since I had been aiming for his pretty nose.

"Fight!" Tanya screamed. "Hit that bitch!"

I was frozen in spot.

_What have I done? How could I be such a fool and mess with the one person that I shouldn't even be speaking to?_

Edward was glaring at me and I realized now my wrist was in his hand. I had to give it to him, he had defended himself beautifully for someone who did not expect to be stricken. I yanked it back in fright, my mouth dropping in shock at my own stupidity.

"I'm sorry!" I quickly muttered, mentally slapping myself.

Edward's glare disappeared. He watched me blankly.

"Go on, Edward, don't let the bitch walk over you like that," Tanya continued. "Hit her!"

"Yeah, big brother, fight her!" Rosalie said loudly from beside Tanya.

However, Edward's eyes never left mine. He seemed unfazed by the comments his sister and girlfriend were making. That's what I called Tanya now. His girlfriend.

"You know you can fight him," I suddenly heard Mike call. "You can beat him, Rebecca."

Was Mike _insane_? Had he seen how fast and strong Edward could be?

"I don't wanna fight you," I whispered quickly to Edward.

He raised an eyebrow. He pursed his lips, as if to say something, but he kept quiet.

I shook my head quickly, and continued, "Hit me once, if it makes us even. I _don't _want a fight."

He steered his head and watched me intently.

"I'm not going to hit you, Coco," he said in disbelief. "I won't hurt you. Besides, you hit like a girl. And you fucking _apologized_."

He watched me pointedly and I remembered what he told me about apologies. But I hadn't apologized because of his "rule". I had forgotten about that rule. I apologized because I had to.

"I'm sorry... I thought you said I stroke the bag," I murmured. Man, the apologies kept slipping, without me even realizing it.

"Hit her, Edward!" Tanya yelled.

"Monday you did," he said in a quiet voice. "Tuesday and Wednesday a bit. Yesterday it was less of a stroke and today you've begun hitting like a girl. It was also nice to see you feel something else for me except that damn fear. Unfortunately, your anger evaporated damn fast. I did that on purpose, honey. I've been counting the seconds since Wednesday when I'd finally get _this_ rise out of you."

I couldn't believe he simply ignored his girlfriend. Also, staring into his eyes was more simple then form an answer, so that's what I remained doing.

"You're still not that fast or strong," he said matter of factly. "But at least you dared to do what you did."

He then leaned down, to whisper in my ear, "If you fucking _ever _dare to think again that I'll hit you, I'll fucking kill the monster that made you believe hitting girls is okay. Not one girl should live like that. Nobody should think fucking shit like that."

He leaned back and watched me with a scowl.

"Don't look so surprised," he said. "Everybody's got something they believe firmly."

I watched him strangely. He talked to me as if he knew me for a long time. Eventually I shrugged.

"Boring!" Jessica called.

"Totally," Rosalie agreed.

"We'll see who wins next Wednesday," Tanya said.

I glanced at Tanya who wore a victorious smile. Next Wednesday? I looked at Edward and he already explained before I could ask.

"Competition is next Wednesday."

"No," I quickly said, shaking my head.

"Don't worry," he said. "We've got a few more days."

"Just two, Monday and Tuesday," I stated.

Edward grinned. "You aren't counting Saturday and Sunday?"

"No!" I quickly said. "I have homework, and other stuff."

"Fair enough," Edward said with a nod.

I shook my head. "Please," I whispered, just so nobody would hear my pathetic pleading. "I can't be in the competition, because you said it yourself, I'm not nearly as fit as they are. I'll probably freeze the moment the fight begins! I'm sorry I hit you. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry! Tanya is fast and Rosalie is scary and I'm sure that Lauren and Jessica are also very-"

Edward grabbed my lips, literally. He had my lips between his thumb and forefinger and he kept them shut.

"You are violating rule number two. Repeatedly."

I shook my head. He released my lips slowly.

"I don't realize it. I mean, that when I say sorry, I don't realize I'm saying it. I'm sorry." I closed me eyes. "See? I can't help it!"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why the hell do you keep apologizing, anyway? What are you so scared off? I'd rather you say fuck instead of sorry."

I watched him, wondering if he was serious. "How could I even replace _sorry _with..?"

"Easy. _Fuck it_."

I only stared at him. And as he was thinking I was scared, I said, "I'm not scared."

"Just _stop _saying you're sorry. I'm only used to girls saying they're sorry when they're pretty much afraid of me."

I secretly wondered if he had met a lot of girls that had apologized to him. But further more, my expression mostly stayed blank as I kept on looking at him. He steered his head.

"Fuck," he muttered, watching me in disbelief. And I swore he looked disgusted, but I didn't know why. It did make me feel uncertain though. "You don't just say sorry out of habit. Do you?"

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to elaborate, but I kept silent, which was actually the same as telling him I was afraid of him, always, constantly.

He grabbed his and my bottle of drink from the floor and walked fast to the boys changing room, but not before he motioned for me to follow. Since I had gotten back in Forks, I had more often seen the boys changing room instead of the girls changing room.

Edward handed me a bottle and drank out of the other bottle. He had given me _his _bottle and was drinking the sport water out of my bottle. He couldn't have made a mistake because his drink was blue and mine was orange.

There might have been a possibility that he was doing this on purpose.

"I already know you won't be ready by following Wednesday, even if I let you fight the weakest girls," he said. "I'll fill in the consent form with negative. That doesn't mean you can quit altogether. Okay? I want you to keep practicing with me."

I opened my mouth in shock, not truly believing he'd really do that.

"I hate those competitions," he said. "I never began boxing to win any competitions. I just wanted..."

Quickly I nodded my head. "You did it for yourself."

For the first time Edward looked at me completely different. He wasn't looking at me as if he was about to mock me, insult me or laugh at me. He wasn't giving me one of those secret chuckles or rude stares. There was only a look of understanding on his face.

"Exactly," Edward said slowly. "I'm doing it for me."

Again I nodded, because I understood him.

"I bet you went through heavy shit."

I froze at his words, but quickly ducked and grabbed my bag and stuffed my normal clothes in it. I yanked my jacket off the coat hook and walked as fast as my legs carried me to the door and pulled it open.

"You really didn't deserve it," he called before the door shut automatically and I ran until I reached my car and drove myself home - in Edward's boxing clothes.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** _I gave you guys a huge ass chapter, what the hell, why not a sneak preview as well?

"You never did tell me why you're in Port Angeles," I said. I didn't like uncomfortable silences, especially not after a bad argument or fight.

"I was stalking you." I rounded my eyes, but before my heart had any time to beat faster or my mind grab the contest of that meaning, he was laughing again. "Joke."


	6. Sorry for a kiss

**_Disclaimer_**_: Not my characters_

**_A/N_****: **I'd like to thank everybody who reviewed me! I love reading each and one of those. They keep me writing, they keep me inspired.

Thanks for waiting and here's yet another tall chapter, hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 6 - Sorry for a kiss<strong>_

I ate junk with Charlie and slept until it was hours after noon. I had a lazy Saturday, but I did know that now was really the time to visit a supermarket for actual food and my coffee.

_I need my coffee._

However, this one, tiny supermarket in Forks did not have the brand that I wanted. I really wasn't picky, but when it concerned my coffee, I only drank the kind that Fork's supermarket was not selling.

I filled my cart with a few vegetables and fruits, bread, pasta, potatoes and junk. I didn't forget sugar and coffee milk, and fresh skimmed milk. I wasn't on a diet, but I liked the skimmed version anyway. I searched for the oat and glanced at all the items in my cart, wondering if I didn't forget anything. Deciding I had it all, I strolled to the cashier.

Tomorrow I would drive myself to the next nearest supermarket to find my coffee. But for now, the few cups of ice coffee I had in my cart would do.

Charlie had given me fifty dollars, and after paying for the food, I still had twenty-five dollars left for coffee.

_Beaver_.

I smiled at that word. Alex, the only guy I allowed to touch me - in an appropriate way - without feeling uncomfortable, was because he's gay and he admitted he's in no way attracted to me. Besides, his touches weren't the way Edward touched me. He would pat my head, place his hand high on my back or shoulder, but nothing intimidate. Also, when he was close to me, I felt good. He could make me feel better, not worse, like Edward did.

Once I had a mental breakdown and he had been there for me, held me and said the nicest words to me. At times, I wanted to tell him about my past, but I couldn't, because I was ashamed and I was scared of losing my friend. I wasn't proud of it, but I wished that someday, if he found out, he'd understand me and not get angry for never saying the truth.

The mental breakdown had everything to do with my past and everything I'd gone through. All the time I'd been gasping for air, and when I told him that I couldn't tell him why I was on the verge of hyperventilating, he dropped the subject and was there for me without any more questions.

_Beaver. _Alex used to call me a beaver. When it came to food, I always bought around enough for a few days, but when the matter concerned coffee, no way. When I went coffee shopping, I bought as many bags of coffee as my money allowed me to buy. If he knew I'd been living for five and a half days without coffee, he'd sure as tell me that his name was no longer Alexander Tick.

I glanced at the row of all the cigarettes at the back of the supermarket. My legs walked, while I forced them to go in a different direction, and my mouth moved, spoke, before I could stop myself.

"One red Pall Mall," I said.

"Can I see your ID," the lady asked as she reached for the packet.

I took my ID out of my wallet and as she looked, I gave her a ten dollar bill.

_What the hell am I doing?_

I stuffed the packet in my bag, somewhere where it was good hidden and walked away quickly.

I felt like I was being watched, but it must have been my mind playing tricks with me.

Back at home I was staring for the first time at all the objects Charlie owed. An oven with on top a gas stove, a microwave, and absolutely nothing else. These objects had been here for the past nine years as well.

I glanced in the living room, but Charlie wasn't there, and though the night was young, I assumed he'd gone to bed for sleep.

The urge to scream his name and ask if he really didn't own a coffee machine was big, but I didn't want to wake up Charlie for a matter that was probably very small to him. Instead, I knew what I was going to do tomorrow after I woke up.

I was going to shop for a coffee machine and my coffee. But first I wondered where I'd find 200 dollars for the expensive machine that _I _wanted.

Deciding I was going to worry about that in the morning, I crawled into bed and followed Charlie's example of an early night in.

I closed my eyes, falling quickly into darkness. It was too dark though. There weren't any images in my head.

"Bells," Charlie called. I instantly lunched forward, going from a lying position - very asleep - to a sitting position - very wide awake - in just a nanosecond. "Bella, it's three. What are you doing?"

It had been very dark indeed. No dream, no nightmares, nothing.

"Wait!" I called, my voice croaking from its dryness. I didn't want Charlie to see me seconds after I just woke up. "Don't come in."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just let me shower first, I'll get down afterwards. I just woke up."

I made the shower quick, wore grey comfortable sweats with a pink tee and ran down. It was already reaching four o'clock!

"Done," I said to Charlie as I walked into the living room.

"Shouldn't you go to a doctor, maybe? You're sleeping a lot lately." His eyes held worry, which I found odd.

"I'm fine," I said, exaggerating it.

I did have many early nights in for the past few days. But I knew why. I was mentally exhausted. Edward was exhausting.

"So, do we have a coffee machine?"

Charlie scowled strangely. "No?" he asked hesitantly.

"I really want one. Where can I buy one?"

His face seemed clueless. "Bells, I really don't know... I don't drink coffee."

"I noticed."

He seemed to still be thinking.

"I need 200 dollars."

Now I had his attention. "Bells, that's a lot."

"I know. It's an expensive coffee machine."

"Can't you buy a less expensive one?" He took his wallet and pulled out ninety dollars. "Could you find one with this price?"

Of course not. I couldn't drink any other coffee then _my _coffee and that precise coffee could only be placed in one type of coffee machine.

And if I was buying a coffee machine for Charlie's place, I might as well do it right and buy the perfect machine.

"I suppose," I said, taking the money. "Thanks, by the way." I would have to pay for half of the machine with my own money, but at least I had around hundred dollars on my bank account. And the twenty from yesterday's grocery shopping.

I guessed the coffee addiction was kicking in now, because I really was doing _everything _to get the machine. I should have brought the one from Phoenix with me, but it was too late for that now. Besides, _coffee_ had been in the back of my brain when I heard that I was going to spend a while in Forks with Charlie. I had been much too worried about other stuff, such as the Cullens.

"Port Angeles," Charlie offered. "They should have coffee makers."

"How far away is it?"

"Around forty-five minutes. However, with your truck..." He seemed to be thinking, knowing my truck wasn't very good at speeding.

"Yes, thanks, see you tonight!" I said, grabbing my bad and shoving in it two apples, the money and my paying card. I kept my car keys in my hand as I walked outside in the pouring rain while quickly putting on my brown ski jacket. The jacket was shapeless and girls like _Rosalie _and _Tanya _would probably laugh if they would see me in this jacket. But I didn't care, really, because it kept my warm and dry.

I didn't mind the drive in the car. The music that was screaming from my speakers was relaxing. The road was one simple long road and it was not difficult finding the traffic signs that lead me to Port Angeles. I made it in an hour and fifteen minutes. I guessed it wasn't that bad. I grabbed one of the apples out of my bag after I parked the truck and quickly found a store that seemed promising.

It was in fact my lucky day, because they had the exact same copy I had back in Phoenix and it even had a small discount. That meant more coffee for me with the spare money.

_Stupid Bella! _It wasn't really easy walking around with a huge box like that while I searched a store that sold coffee.

However, I had already paid for it.

"Sorry?" The girl behind the counter looked up at me. "Could I leave the machine here for a few minutes?"

"Sure, what's your name?" she asked.

"Bella Swan," I said. She wrote it down on a post-it note and pressed it on top of the box.

I turned and left the store, searching for the next item I needed desperately.

In the end, I had to bother a cute old couple and ask them if they knew which place sold coffee. The elderly lady didn't mind my presence at all and gave me a full description of which way to go.

_Straightforward, then to the left... Right... Left... Left again..._

I forgot about most of it, but thanked her anyway.

Ten minutes after I left the store where I'd paid for the machine, I found the coffee I needed in a tiny shop. It was almost hidden and once I paid for as much as coffee as I could - and after getting strange stares from the lady behind the counter - I stepped out of the shop with the bag in my hand and glared at the store for having a location so hidden between the bigger stores.

At least everything was paid for. I just needed to get my machine and get back to my car.

Lucky for me, it took me only around another fifteen minutes to find the other store - I almost lost the directions I had come here - and when I stepped in, the girl almost at me looked angrily.

"Hi, I just bought a machine-"

"That was way longer then just a few minutes," she said, grabbing the box and nearly throwing it on the counter.

I pressed my lips on each other and _hoped _nothing inside the box was broken.

"We're not here to babysit on costumers stuff." How old was this girl anyway? She seemed my age; actually she seemed younger, and still acted as if I was the dumber one.

"I got back, didn't I?" I replied. "It wasn't easy finding the stuff I wanted."

She glanced at my bag and raised her eyebrows. "What did you buy?"

I was hoping to avoid that question, but since I would never see her again, I replied anyway. "Coffee."

"But we buy coffee here as well," she said, pointing to one of the hallways.

I looked at her and opened my mouth two times, but then snapped it shut and muttered, "Well, I'm sure you didn't sell the brand I was looking for."

"We have nearly everything," she instantly said, nodding her head. "I assume you wanted coffee that matches the coffeemaker you bought? We sell it right there." Her finger pointed to the location in the store, but I didn't follow her finger with my gaze.

_Somehow I believe you._

"Okay," I said, just so I wouldn't combust and reached the exit with the big box in front of me. It was rather difficult opening the door while I was hugging the heavy box while also the bag with coffee was hanging around my wrist. But I got out of the store.

"Bye!" she called in a sing-song voice.

*.*

"Please! No! Don't do this to me!"

I hit one fist on the steering wheel.

"I."

I hit my head on the steering wheel.

"Hate."

I hit my head again.

"You."

I slammed the horn, but of course no sound came out. "Piece of junk. Damn you, Charlie." I should have known better then to drive all the way to foreign city with a car I barely knew.

The car wouldn't start; it wouldn't even make a tiny noise. It died in a parking lot that was eerily quiet and it was twilight.

I grabbed my cell phone and angrily called Charlie.

"What happened?"

The second apple was still in my car and I took it in my free hand. "Nothing, _dad_. I bought coffee. I bought a coffee machine. But my car won't start. I'm stuck here in Port Angeles."

He stayed quiet. I wanted to cry. The smell of the car was suffocating me and I kicked the door open and jumped out.

"Dad?" I asked. "What should I do?"

"I'm not sure..."

The rain had gone to a small drizzle, but it made my face wet anyway.

"Dad," I snapped. "I'm on some parking space with too little people for me to feel comfortable with and all the stores are closing. Can't you pick me up?"

"I went fishing..." he replied lamely. "You remember Billy, right? Well, it's a full moon tonight and apparently-"

As Charlie continued talking, I placed the phone in front of me and just stared at it in disbelief. His voice continued and at some point I heard him call my name. The urge to hang up was appealing.

"Yeah?" I replied, placing the phone back on my ear.

"I'll call AAA."

I blinked. "Great, dad, thanks. See you around, well, what will it be? I guess midnight!"

Somewhere in the distance I noticed a few guys already watching in my direction. Fortunately, they didn't move closer to me. I kept my eyes on them as I heard Charlie's excuse.

"I'm really sorry, Bells, but riding all the way over to your car will take me much longer then for the AAA to come over and fix your car."

"Yep. Bye." I hung up the phone.

He was right though. I was simply angry at this truck and how this whole day had turned. After a minute, the boys disappeared around the corner and I felt slightly safe again.

With as much force as I could muster, I threw the apple hard on the ground and almost laughed out loud the way it burst on the ground into tiny pieces, and how those pieces went flying a few yards further.

It was a shame though, because I was hungry and my only food was smashed on the ground for reasons I didn't even know. It did take away some of my frustrations though.

_Just some..._

I was about to shut the car door and wait in the drizzle when suddenly I noticed somebody leaning against my car, but my back had been turned against that person.

I screamed in fright and shut the door in frustration, leaned against the car with my back and dropped my head between my legs.

_Breathe in... Breathe out..._

"What a pleasant surprise," Edward said in amusement. However, I was too upset over all things that happened today to even feel anything except sadness. "Why the long face?"

Almost, I could cry. I felt so, so stupid. I whished he just knew who I was, because I was so tired of living in a lie for already seven days now. But if I said now, all the effort of those seven days would be for nothing. So I remained quiet.

I pointed at the car.

"May I give it a try?" he asked, already placing a hand on the door handle. He must have guessed my problem.

"Whatever," I muttered. I'd left the keys dangling in the ignition.

Edward chuckled as I pulled away and let him get inside the truck. However, whatever he did, the car made no sound at all.

"So..." he began. "Where did you buy this car? The dumpster?" He was suddenly laughing really hard and I had the urge to actually kick him.

Instead, I kept my gaze on the Volvo that was parked on the complete other side of the parking place. Edward's grey Volvo. If I kept gazing at that car, I could almost pretend he wasn't inside my car.

"Nice coffeemaker, Coco," Edward said, snickering. "It was probably worth a lot more then this car." Again he couldn't contain himself. He slammed the car door and I guess the battery or _whatever _had really died.

The whole parking place was quiet, except for his laughter, which was getting closer and closer behind me. I knew he was right behind me, but I didn't care. I wanted to give up. When Edward was like this, I almost thought it could be easy to tell him my real name. I almost thought he even wouldn't mind. But I didn't want to fool myself, because I couldn't be absolutely positive, so I remained silent and gazed at his Volvo.

"How come you're in Port Angeles?"

"Cuz Forks sucks."

"Ah, Coco, depression doesn't suit you," he said. "Loosen up. Come." He placed his arm around me, but instantly I ducked and got out. When I looked at him, he raised an eyebrow.

One of his hands was in his jacket pocket and as my eyes went up, his scowled a little. Something had caught him off guard. I could tell, because he had this look in his eyes... Something had definitely caught him off guard.

"Uh... AAA is coming," I said.

"Right."

He stared hard in my eyes and I kept gazing back until I felt almost sure that right then and there he knew something which I didn't. It was as if he was concentrating on reading something off of my face or my eyes. I scowled a little and dropped my eyes. If I stared too long, I'd begin calling his eyes beautiful in my own head and that would be ugly. Nothing about a former bully could be beautiful.

"It's drizzling, Coco," he continued slowly after his staring turned to simply looking at me. "The temperature is dropping fast now and I'm not sure if that interesting pink _tee_ will keep you warm. Call AAA back and tell them to come tomorrow."

As if it wasn't enough that he'd found me in front of my broken car, I was also reminded of the ridiculous clothes I was wearing.

Calling AAA would do me no good. It was my only ride home.

"What about me?" I asked.

He watched me with amusement. "What about you?" I wasn't sure why he was suddenly amused.

I was really, really tired now. Collapsing on this very ground here in Port Angeles didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"How will I get back to Forks?" I asked while glancing at my broken truck.

"Co-co..." Edward said slowly, stepping closer to me. "I'll take you home tonight, okay? My car runs fine, has heaters and doesn't drink gasoline like alcoholic drinks liquor." He really wasn't done insulting the truck yet, but I took it. I didn't really care. "But first, you wanna grab a bite?"

"Kay." I was hungry, after all.

I think I surprised Edward because his face seemed like he was in shock.

"Okay?" he asked, raising both his eyebrows.

"Yep."

I didn't really care anymore if he found out or not. I also didn't care that he'd see where I lived. Or that I'd be spending my time with Edward for at least another hour.

"Sweet," he mused, slowly draping his arm around my shoulders again. "I thought I'd mentally have to kick you to get your agreement."

I looked in confusion at his arm, but he just stared, with a little hint of something, but I didn't know what. I was too tired to even think about that look in his eyes, what it was and what it could mean.

"Is this okay?" he asked, slowly putting his hand on my shoulder, but not pulling me closer.

"Yep."

Edward chuckled and slowly began walking. "Why does your car have two keys?"

"The door and ignition both need a different key."

He was quiet for a while. Then I realized he was holding in laughter.

"It's really not that funny," I mumbled.

That didn't stop the laughter erupt his throat. _Fine, laugh at me. _He dangled a pair of keys in front of my face. "These are yours."

I didn't take them.

"Hey," he said, giving me a little shake.

"Did you ever lie?" I asked instead.

Edward was quiet for a moment. "Of course, Coco."

"I don't mean the _that's-a-nice-shirt _while you actually hate the shirt kind of lie."

"Then what do you mean?"

"Never mind," I mumbled.

"Any reason for this sudden deep conversation?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"McDonalds?"

"Wow," I mumbled. The big yellow M stood above me. "I haven't been here in ages."

"Because you hate the food?" he asked. "We can go someplace else."

"No, because all my friends were always on a diet."

Edward dropped his head at me. "Are you on a diet now?"

"I'm never on a diet," I replied, not caring if he'd think I'm fat or not.

He began walking inside the building, and the line was actually pretty short to my surprise. I was used to stuffed McDonalds.

"Neither am I," Edward said.

I scowled and slowly lifted my eyes to his. "Guys usually aren't."

Edward slowly shrugged.

"Can I help you?" a young, blond man behind the counter said. He had nice, blue eyes and a slim face. He couldn't be any older then I. Edward let go of my shoulder and walked up in front of the counter.

"Yeah, I want the Big Mac menu with a coke, pretty boy."

The man blanched and I dropped my mouth. "O-Okay," he said. "And you?" He watched me and he saw my expression and realized that I was shocked too.

"The same," I said quickly.

The boy began getting the fries, coke and burgers as Edward turned to me with a smirk.

"Did you say that because it easier to say _the same _or did you really want _the same_?" He crossed his arms and waited for my answer.

"Only thing I've ever eaten here are the Happy Meal and the Big Mac. Why did you flirt with that boy?"

He nodded in contemplation. "So why didn't you take the Happy Meal? I wasn't flirting with the boy."

"Because I'm hungry," I replied. Edward chuckled and again, I didn't care if he'd think I'm fat or not. "You said _pretty boy_!"

There was another boy behind the counter and he named the price. I could understand why the previous boy had bolted from Edward and asked if his colleague could handle the rest.

Edward dug out his wallet from the back of his jeans.

"I've got money," I quickly said, thinking where I'd left the few spare dollars. Back in the truck?

"Where did pretty boy go?" Edward asked.

My head snapped up at Edward. The other boy stared with wide eyes back at Edward. Oh my God.

The boy carefully took the fifty out of Edward's fingers. He grabbed the change as fast as he could and gave it to Edward and disappeared, closing his counter. The people behind us got pissed because he suddenly closed his counter.

Edward watched me with an _are-you-serious? _expression and I watched him incredulously, because I was the one that should give him that look!

"I'll tackle you if I have to," he said. "But I'm not accepting your money, shortie." He stepped closer to me, reminding me that I was indeed much shorter then him, which gave me reason as to why he gave me that nickname. "I brought you here. I'm paying."

Edward looked at the coins and with his left hand he grabbed one of them. Then he looked at me with a smile as he reached his hand to me. Automatically I opened my hand and he dropped the coin in my hand. I looked.

It was me a penny.

He had given me a penny.

Why did he give me a penny?

For a second I stared at it with confusion, but then looked up at Edward in shock, only he had already grabbed the tray and walked to a free table.

His back on me.

"I'm giving you the penny back!"

"I don't want the penny back."

I sat on the chair and he sat on the opposite side of me.

"Well, _I_'m not giving you a thought."

"Well, whatever," he said, mimicking my voice.

I could almost hear his voice in my head, saying _a penny for your thoughts_.

Angrily I placed the penny on the table and grabbed the burger, hoping this comfort food would make me feel better. After the first bite I quickly took the second, feeling hungry all of a sudden.

"You never told me what you're doing here," Edward said, looking at me while holding the burger, taking the first bite.

"Neither did you." I sounded hostile and curt, but nothing in me seemed to care.

Edward grabbed a fry while carefully watching me. I glared at the burger, because it was only solving my hunger problem, but it was not acting as comfort food. I took a sip from the coke, hoping the sugar would kick in soon. Then I stuffed two fries in my mouth.

"Are you a bit okay?"

"More than a bit," I replied. "In fact, I've never felt better. I'm fantastic."

He nodded his head, while watching me with a grin and a crooked eyebrow.

"What?" I snapped.

"Interesting how you asked me if I've ever lied, and few minutes later, you are lying in flying colors." He shrugged. "Plus, you really can't lie." By the time he finished that sentence, he was laughing hard. At least he tried to smother down some of his humor.

"What do you mean?" I asked in actual confusion.

"You can't lie," he stated again but this time without the humor. "When you _try _I actually see you're lying."

"I wasn't lying," I gritted out. "I was ironically saying that I'm fine. Usually, when people are ironic, they mean the opposite of what they're saying."

Edward bit in his fry. "Still, I call it lying. You're a liar."

"Don't I know it."

"I'm glad I found you," Edward said suddenly when I put the final large piece in my mouth. I really didn't care my face was probably resembling a cow. I placed the side of my head on my hand and leaned against it. My elbow was nearly on the middle of the table. If I stretched a little more, I'd be lying on top of the table.

After the big chunk of food was swallowed, I answered. "I noticed. You keep laughing at me." My voice sounded dry and void of emotion. I ate a few more of the fries.

Edward chuckled darkly as he pointed one of his fingers in my face. "Exactly for that reason. You look like you're about to do some serious damage to yourself." I shook my coke to check the contents, but I'd drank it all.

"Ugh," I cried out and a few people around us looked at our table. When I looked back at Edward, I couldn't help it anymore.

All the lying, the hiding, the boxing, the jealousy, the gossip and the blow-jobs Tanya was giving, they all came crashing on me like when a meteorite killed all the dinosaurs and the after effect was that I could only laugh.

Loudly and for a really long time, I laughed.

"It's ridiculous!" I stated, looking at Edward.

He didn't have any emotion on his face anymore. He slowly reached out for my face, which was now _very _low on the table. I was practically lying on the table with my upper body. I had to look more up with my eyes to see Edward. My elbow had slipped and the hand my head was lying in almost touched the table. Edward grabbed a lock of my hair from the table and threw it over my shoulder.

"Yeah, it is," Edward said solemnly with a nod of is head. "It's fucking ridiculous. Do you want to grab ice cream and get out of here?"

"I just don't get it," I mumbled.

"You don't get what?"

"And you and me are actually sitting here!" I couldn't help but giggle. I was definitely on a sugar high.

"Coco?"

"Did I say it's ridiculous?" I looked back at Edward who gazed at me as if I was something interesting. "What?" He lifted one side of his mouth, but never said anything. "But don't you think it's so ridiculous?"

"Oh, I do think it's so ridiculous," he slowly said, rising out of his chair. I remained sitting as he threw our trash away.

"Here's your penny," I said, pushing the money to his side of the table.

"Keep it. Who knows you may need it someday."

I put his stupid penny in the pocket of my sweats and ate the ice cream he bought for me. We were almost at my truck now, and seeing that thing reminded me of the AAA.

"Crap."

"What?"

"Crap."

I pushed the ice cream in Edward's hand and searched my pockets for my phone. I found it in my sweats pocket and dialled Charlie's number.

"What happened?" he instantly asked.

"Nothing! Look, I got a ride home. At least, I think I have a ride home..." I glanced at Edward and he gave me an incredulous look. He nodded his head with a roll of his eye. "Yeah, I do, I'm... being... brought... home..."

_Shit. _Could I have sounded any less uncertain?

Charlie remained silent. Edward was staring at me in almost in innocent matter, with his eyebrows slightly up and his bright, green eyes revealed too much emotion.

"So could you please call the AAA and tell them they don't have to come anymore?"

"Who is taking you home?" he asked suspiciously.

"Edward."

"Edward Cullen?"

"Yes, Edward Cullen. Should I give him the phone so you're sure it's really him?"

"Have you been drinking alcohol?"

I wanted to throw the phone on the ground and jump on it a few times. However, I was being watched by Edward.

"Have you been-?"

"No!" I interrupted, as Charlie began repeating the question, only much slower this time.

"Give Edward to me on the phone."

"No!"

"Bell-"

"Bye!" I shrieked, pressing the red button hard. "Let's go." I grabbed my ice cream back, but Edward kept staring at me.

"Interesting," he said.

"What?"

"Who were you talking to?"

He watched me in amusement and my eyes widened. I dropped my phone and instantly ducked to go after it. I checked it quickly for any cracks, then shoved it in my pocket of my jacket.

"You're right," he said, "let's go."

We reached my truck and Edward turned back to me.

"Wait here, I'll bring my car here," he said, already walking to his car. I followed him. "Coco? Wait there." He pointed to my truck.

"And get beaten by creeps, no thank you very much," I instantly said with a slight shake in my voice.

Dark shadows were moving all around the dark parking lot. Mysterious sounds were everywhere to be heard.

He turned his face to me in amusement. "I guess that's a compliment for me."

"No..."

"You're safe with me and you just confirmed it yourself." He winked, quite deliberately.

I glared at his face, but he was staring at the Volvo with a smug look on his face. "I guess that depends..."

His smug look disappeared and he scowled. "How?"

Momentarily, I was taken aback. "Uh... Well, if I confirm it then that doesn't mean that you confirm it."

"Well, ouch! That one kinda hurt. Are you that fucked up that I actually have to say that I won't let any creep beat you and that you're safe with me?"

_Ouch..._That one hurt too_._

Because maybe he'd never know and maybe he'd never understand that I was, like he said, fucked up. Even when he knew my name, there was a possibility he wouldn't understand. He would never know that what he did to me and what his siblings and friends did to me really hurt and he had broken something that would never be fixed. Some pieces of me were ruined forever.

I jumped when the car door suddenly opened.

"Today?" Edward asked as I ducked and got inside the car. He was already seated and waited until I closed the door and instantly the Volvo moved to my truck. He slammed on the brake and I flew against the seatbelt that I had quickly managed to put on.

How long had I been standing in front of the door, daydreaming? Perhaps Edward was really fast and I hadn't been slow at all. Perhaps Edward had to be somewhere. Maybe he had a date with Tanya. But where was Tanya?

"In a hurry to get rid of me?" I asked, only half joking. I tried to form a smile around my lips, trying to joke, trying to ask in a sneaky way if he indeed had a date.

Edward turned his head to me and gave the most arrogant, sexiest grin he had ever given me and his eyes told me the opposite of what I'd just asked. It knocked the breath out of me.

It took me a moment to catch my breath and get out of the car as well. Edward had the door on the passenger's side opened and pulled out the big box with my coffee machine.

"I guess you aren't leaving without this," Edward said, giving the box to me.

"It's the reason I got here in the first place," I said.

Edward scowled and pointed at the box. "You came to Port Angeles for a coffeemaker?"

"Don't forget also for coffee," I said. "It's in a bag in the truck."

After I placed the box in the backseat, I saw Edward walking back as he looked in the bag. The scowl got replaced by a chuckle. He stopped right in front of me and handed the bag to me.

"And the coffee of course," Edward said when I took the bag and put it beside the box in his Volvo in the backseat.

_Note!_

"Crap," I muttered as I instantly looked on top of the box. "No..." I put my hand on top of the box, then bringing it to the side, searching.

But the note was gone. Actually, I couldn't remember if the girl in the store removed it from the box or not. I never checked.

"What?" Edward asked. "Wrong maker?" He began laughing hard.

In a nanosecond my eyes found Edward, but he had reached the other side of the car and had opened the door. I looked how he stepped inside the car and started it.

I gulped and took a few shaky breaths.

He didn't have the note. It's impossible. _If _the note was still on the box and Edward found it, he wouldn't have acted like this. It was really impossible.

With those thoughts I stepped in the car and watched my truck get smaller and smaller. Edward had turned on the radio and I appreciated that. I didn't like complete silence.

I finished the ice cream slowly and I didn't even dare looking how Edward ate his ice cream _and _drove this car. The fortunate thing was that the road was completely his.

"Why so quiet?" Edward asked.

_You insulted me, my car, my clothes, and my mood._

I mumbled, "I'm tired."

"Perhaps it's a good thing I'm driving you back to Forks then."

I snorted. "I could have managed perfectly without you."

"I'm sure you could," Edward said with a sharp tone.

It was quiet for a moment and I thought back about today. I tried to not think about sitting in Edward's car, the lost note and if Edward would really bring me to my home. However, if he did bring me to my home, he'd probably see the cruiser, unless I told Charlie to stay with Billy for a while longer. Edward didn't know where Bella Swan lived. I was sure of that. And if he did, then really, my secret would be in the open by the end of this trip.

"You never did tell me why you're in Port Angeles," I said. I didn't like uncomfortable silences, especially not after a bad argument or fight.

"I was stalking you." I rounded my eyes, but before my heart had any time to beat faster or my mind grab the contest of that meaning, he was laughing again. "Joke."

"F-Funny," I said, still a bit flabbergasted.

"I like this," he said, pointing in front of him. "The long drive. This highway. Another area. Different people."

"That's weird, I hate all those things. I just drove there for the coffee machine and coffee."

"I saw the... coffee. Do you always buy that much coffee?"

"Beaver," I blurted. Edward turned to me with a small scowl.

"Did you call me a beaver?"

"No!" I shrieked, almost embarrassed at the silliness. "A friend of mine back in Phoenix calls me beaver."

Edward turned his head to me and gave me a pointed look. I just gave him the _what? _look.

Then his lips turned up a little. "Phoenix, huh?"

"Crap." My mouth had already uttered the word before I could stop it, because slowly I was giving him more bits and pieces, until he would figure it out.

"You're from Phoenix?"

"I... guess... so..." I mumbled, looking down at my lap. That was a boring sight, so I shifted my eyes up to the window and glanced at the passing trees, lanterns and the darkened sky.

It seemed as if Edward was pondering something and then he softly chuckled.

"A friend of yours back in Phoenix calls you beaver?" Edward asked, repeating nearly all my previous words. "You're Coco, not a beaver."

This was the best opportunity I'd ever get. "Why Coco?"

Edward laughed. "You disappoint me if you haven't figured that one out," Edward said, briefly glancing at me.

"Coconut?" I asked.

"No! Not you too, damnit. Why would I call you a coconut?"

"I don't know you well enough to dignify that with an answer," I slowly said. His stare on me was too intense and I didn't even see it. I felt it and couldn't help but look at him. He was giving me the _what-the-hell _look. I shrugged eventually. "Chocolate?"

Edward shook his head, but he still to gave me weird glances. "You've got to do better then that."

"The cucu bird?"

When Edward turned his head fully to me, his eyes asked me _seriously?_.

"I come up blank."

Edward smirked. "I'm not saying a thing. Figure that one out yourself..." He pursed his lips as if he was again refraining himself from laughing, as he added, "Coco."

I scowled again, this time because I felt it was unfair. I really didn't have a clue and Edward wasn't giving any hints.

Also I wondered if he answered me truthfully. A person doesn't make an hour drive just for the ride, the area and different people. I considered I had asked him already too much, so I listened to the songs quietly.

Around eleven songs later - and not another word shared between us, I grew nervous. I wasn't sure how fast Edward had driven, but I saw we entered Forks.

I grabbed my phone and punched the green button twice, directly calling Charlie.

"What happened?"

"I-I was just wondering where you are?" I nervously asked. "Still at Billy's?" _I hope._

"Yes," he said hesitantly. "You're already home? What's the matter? Is Edward treating you right?"

"No, I mean yes, he is, but I'm not yet home, but I... We're getting there. We're almost there."

"How fast did Edward drive?" he asked, and I sighed deeply.

"I'm sure not any faster that the law requires. See you tonight."

"Sure, Bells, see you in a few hours."

I hung up the phone and Edward laughed softly.

"It's a comfort to know your dad is not home to have me killed for driving you so fast back to Forks."

"How did... you know?"

This time, Edward smiled. "Overprotective father caring for his daughter? I heard everything _you_ said to him. You asked him where he was and after his answer you relaxed, which concludes only one thing. Then you began talking about the law." He gave another quiet laugh. "That probably had to do with the amount of time it took us to reach Forks. Am I right?"

If my math was right, Edward had done no more then forty minutes to reach this place.

However, I was to shaken up about his comment.

I shook my head frantically and he watched me with a scowl.

"That's not what I meant," I said in a shaky voice. "How did you know I was talking to my father?"

Edward's eyes went quickly to me, then back to the road. "You said it yourself."

"I'm quite sure I didn't." I tried to think back, but I never called my father by _dad_ and I didn't remember telling Edward that I was calling my father.

Eventually, Edward shrugged as he looked at me with a smile. "Does it matter?"

"How... did you know?" I muttered.

He shook his head as he was wearing an incredulous smile. "Can't you drop it?"

"How did you know, Edward?" I asked again.

"I guessed. I guessed correctly. Drop it, _Rebecca_. Where the hell do you live?"

"Left," I quickly snapped as I realized he was about to go right. "Sorry..." My voice was soft, almost too low for me to hear.

I cleared my throat.

"Go right there," I said, pointing at the road.

Edward did as I told him and we both stayed quiet until I saw the house. I turned my head to look at Edward and waited and waited... I waited for him to see the house and get some form of recognition in his eyes.

Finally, he too looked at the house. His eyes ran over it until he nodded. And I waited...

I began counting in my head and reached the count of four, when he finally talked.

"Nice house. Cute. Kinda suits you."

_Not today._ Today, I was still Rebecca Dwyer, or Coco.

"You do realize what you did?"

I scowled at him as he kept looking at me. I shook my head.

The side of his lip went up as he looked down. For a moment I could really look at his face, his features. He seemed tired. Something had worn him out.

His eyes came up all of a sudden. "You said sorry. Why do you keep saying sorry?"

I had said sorry. I apologized because I was just in time telling him to go to the left.

"I don't know," I said.

"I thought I said I don't want any sorrys."

I watched him momentarily. "I'm sorry, I-"

Edward groaned. "Fuck it. Screw it."

With my wide eyes, I watched him in shock and he looked at me impassively.

"Know what?" he said, leaning in closer. "The next time you apologize with no apparent reason, I'll kiss you."

"What?" I breathed.

"So unless you want me to, you better watch your words next time, honey. It could get dirty."

My eyes went to his hand as he unbuckled his seatbelt.

"How long did it take your truck to reach Port Angeles?"

"Oh... Uh..." Edward pressed the side of my seatbelt and it popped open. He opened the door and got out.

I pushed the seatbelt away and nearly jumped out of the car. That's when I saw Edward light a cigarette.

"Want one?" He had his back turned against me.

"It's not healthy," I said.

"That's not what I asked," Edward said, turning around and watching me seriously. "I asked if you want one." He pulled out a cigarette out of the packet. "The way you answered my question seemed as if you're almost saying yes."

I stared at the cigarette but didn't take it.

"When?" he asked instead. "Your first smoker?"

"What makes you think-" I began in disbelief, but Edward rolled his eyes.

I thought of the Pall Mall in my bag.

"I don't judge, Coco. You want the smoker, you take it. You don't want it, you don't take it. But don't begin with the health crap thing and don't pretend you've never touched one of these." As he finished talking, he held up the lit cigarette a little, as if to show it to me.

I didn't want to be a hypocrite. I hated hypocrites.

"Seventeen, I was seventeen." Edward looked at me briefly, before bringing his eyes to the forest. "My mom and I had gotten in a fight, so I bought one. I didn't even get to smoke half of the packet, because I ended up throwing it away. They made me sick. Nauseating. I kept them in my locker for days and smoked just a couple cigarettes... It's really is... _Ridiculous_..." I laughed nervously.

Edward took a slow drag and looked into the woods, almost as if he didn't hear me. But that was good, because it made it easier for me to talk to him.

_You're giving him your cigarette story, Bella. Have you forgotten this is Edward Cullen, the boy that almost forced you to smoke when you were just a child?_

_No, I haven't._

"And then a few months later, there was this urge for a cigarette... It was strange, because I _knew _I didn't like cigarettes. I didn't like the smell and the taste, but still there was that urge that I still don't get. But I just decided not to over think things."

"Think of nothing," Edward said.

I stared at him, and then nodded my head. "Yeah. Nothing. And I bought it, my second packet. I remember I tried to light it in a pretty crowded place. It took me a while, but I got it lit on. It's not like the urge is always there. I'm not addicted. I'm not a smoker or anything and... _Crap_."

He turned his eyes to mine, watching me with intensity as I stepped from one foot on the other to keep moving a little.

"I-I... I wasn't... Nobody knows... Don't tell..." _Don't tell anyone._

That sounded so childish. But I didn't want everybody to know I sometimes, because of an urge, lit a cigarette.

"I shouldn't have said... I'm bothering you with my stupid, boring past." I laughed nervously.

Edward shook his head, leaned sideways so that suddenly, he stood a few inches closer, but also an inch or two shorter.

"I'm not bothered. You smoke. So what? When was your last drag?"

He smirked, seeming suddenly interested.

"Almost two weeks ago."

"What happened two weeks ago?" he asked.

"My mom said..." I turned my head away from Edward, but I also noticed him turn his head more to me, as if he didn't want to miss what I would say next. "...that I had to go and live in Forks."

Now I looked at him with panic.

"Nobody knows about... you know. It not like I'm hiding it in a childish way, but I just like to keep it to myself."

"Because explaining why you do it is difficult and most people wouldn't even understand," Edward said.

_Christ, Edward is right._

"What's that?" He pointed at my face. "Panic? What do I have to do to make you believe that you're secret's truly safe with me?"

I think the panic had actually left my face long time ago already. I just couldn't help but look at Edward in disbelief. From the past couple of days I had met Arrogant Edward, Shallow Edward, Oversexed Edward, Mean Edward. I hadn't met quite _Normal_ Edward. Understanding Edward. Even Nice Edward.

Eventually, I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter, because you're probably going to want to rip me apart after... a few days." I gave a small, shaky dark laugh as I opened the door and grabbed the box and plastic bag.

_For now, I am Rebecca. I will remain composed in Edward's presence._

"I think it took my truck ninety minutes to reach Port Angeles."

He didn't laugh this time. Edward was scowling, but I gave him a tiny smile, because he had fed me, brought me home safely and listened to my crap.

"Thank you for tonight," I said.

He too flashed me a quick smile. "Did you expect me to act any other way?"

"Yes," I said, turning serious. "Drive me to the nearest bus station."

Edward shook his head. "I know I suck, but I'm not that horrible." He closed the door from the backseat for me and I slowly began walking toward the door.

"Good night," I said when I was halfway there.

"You do realize Forks has a small mall that sells exactly the same coffeemaker that you bought and in that mall there's a coffeeshop selling the same coffee you bought?"

I stopped walking this time. All that trouble for nothing. And the trouble hadn't even ended yet, because my truck was still in Port Angeles and for the next few days, I wouldn't have a car to drive to school with.

"However, if you believe in destiny, I'd say somebody wanted us to spend the day together."

"Do you?" I glanced back, saw he already had turned his back to me. "Believe in destiny?"

Edward only turned his head ever so slightly and I saw him shake his head. "No."

"I don't either."

He chuckled and turned around. He began walking backwards. "Then I guess you were just unlucky today."

I really was. Somewhere in my sweats I found my keys and opened the door. Now that I was thinking about keys, I remembered I had never taken back my car keys from Edward.

"Crap."

Tomorrow I would see him again though.

I could swear though I never told him that I was talking to my father through the phone. And he had been getting angry for me asking him how he knew.

_I think Edward's not telling me something._

But hey, the worst case scenario was that he knew my name. And if he did, while acting the way he did tonight, then maybe the world wasn't such a bad place after all.

_Yeah right, Bella. In your dreams._


	7. Mean

**_Disclaimer_**_: Not my characters_

**_A/N_****: **Thanks for the awesome reviews! I'm sorry for Bella's behaviour. Some of you really can't relate and I understand. This is the damn 21st century, right? Wellllll, Bella's been hurt badly. There are no flashbacks in this chapter though, sorry, but they will come in further chapters.

Enjoy reading!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 7 - Mean<strong>_

"You," I gasped. "What? How? When?"

After my coffeemaker was installed on a beautiful spot in the kitchen, I had made dinner for Charlie and me, and drank a cup with a lot of milk and sugar. The milk is supposed to break the caffeine and I didn't want that to ruin my sleep. Of course I could have taken the deface coffee, but I wanted to have caffeine in my body. I was weird.

This morning I heard Charlie take of early again in his police cruiser which brought me to my next problem. I didn't have a car to go to school with.

Downstairs, Charlie had left me a note.

_Call me._

"Sup?" I asked before he'd had a chance to talk first through the phone.

"Bells? How will you get to school?"

"I... got a ride?" Hadn't seen that one coming. But he was right, how was I planning on getting to school?

"Why do you sound unsure?"

"I don't," I insisted. "Have fun at work!"

I wasn't sure why Charlie even cared, but I wasn't in the mood for being _brought _to school in a police cruiser, and of course, it was highly impossible for that to happen.

The radio began playing Ke$ha's song, Dancing with Tears in My Eyes.

_"I'm losing it. With every move I die."_

I ate breakfast and made my second cup of coffee with this machine, when the doorbell rang. With cup and granola bar in each hand, I opened the door and that lead me to my stammering form when I found Edward in front of my house. Again.

He was wearing pair of shades, so I couldn't see his eyes. I was pretty sure he was staring at me though, because his face was pointed toward me. He had a different jacket this time. It seemed darker then his other jacket and it suited him.

And in his right hand, he had a just lit on cigarette between his fingers.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Instead, a little accidentally, I pushed the door to a close.

Instantly I felt stupid, dread and a little sorry for doing that.

Incredulously I asked, "_What_ are you doing _here_?"

"Chill, Becca." I shuddered at the nickname. It was a bad, horrible nickname. "Did you wanna walk to school?"

He thought about me?

"Can I come in?"

Again, I remained silent for too long as he continued.

"You okay in there?"

Stress, too little air supply and my stupid nervousness brought me to ask him something very stupid.

"Do you want coffee?"

He was here, he was standing behind this door and I might as well... act civil to him, since, for now, he was acting civil to me.

Slowly, I opened the door again, keeping my eyes on the door.

"Sorry...," I mumbled. "The door... it slipped."

"Slipped?" Edward asked seriously. "You should have it checked." He threw his half finished cigarette behind him.

"Happens all the time," I said instead.

"Interesting," he said. I closed the door as he had placed himself inside the house. "How is Coco this morning?"

"How are you?"

He turned to me, a big, broad, teeth-showing smile on his mouth. "You do realize you answer questions with questions?"

I shook my head. "Nope. But thanks for..." I glanced at the kitchen and decided to go and make him the coffee, just so I didn't have to stand here awkwardly, "the info," I finished.

Edward followed me and I was glad we didn't keep any photos in the kitchen area.

"Ristretto? Voluto? Cosi? Ever had one of-" I stopped when I saw him. He had my cup in his hand. "You're drinking my coffee."

He turned and looked at me as if it was weird that I had stated the obvious. Not just that, but he was actually drinking my coffee out of my cup. I had left it on the kitchen table along with my granola bar. I wouldn't have if I'd known that he would drink it.

"That... You can't drink my coffee."

"I already am."

"It's my c-coffee." I stared at him with big eyes.

The problem wasn't as much as he was drinking my coffee. The problem was that he obviously didn't mine sharing things such as bottles with sport water and now my cup. I wasn't used to sharing and it was strange that Edward kept taking my things without asking. It didn't bother me, but it seemed too much like it was something only couples or very close friends would do.

"Not anymore, brown eyes," he said with a wink as he turned and almost walked through the doors of the living room. That room had photos. Just a few, but enough.

"No!" I yelled.

He stopped abruptly and turned, staring at me in bewilderment.

"Don't go in there," I mumbled, looking at the coffee machine. I'd lost my thirst for coffee. "It's...messy."

Edward came to stand beside me, leaning against the counter. "Which one were you having?" He looked at all the cups I had on the counter.

"Ristretto," I said. He dropped the subject of my weird behavior of him not entering the living room.

"So make another Ristretto," he said, taking the black cup. _No way._

"You _know _the cups?"

He scowled. "Is that bad?"

"No," I said after a while. "I just didn't see that coming. But... it's better to leave... for school. But I really don't need a ride."

"Did you want to walk?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Here, drink the rest. You look tired." He pushed the cup in my hand and walked through the small area that was our kitchen.

I sipped the coffee, thinking he was unbelievable. "No, but I'll call my dad."

I flinched. My dad. That was a topic we discussed yesterday as well, which had led to many questions. I still wasn't sure how he guessed I was talking to Charlie.

"Where's he?"

"At work."

"Where does he work?"

I pressed my lips on each other, poured the coffee in the sink and left the cup in there. I couldn't drink any more. "Let's go."

Edward chuckled but didn't press the subject anymore.

"How was your night?" he asked.

"How was your night?"

"Very nice thank you," Edward answered. "How was yours?"

Yeah, he probably did have a date with Tanya last night, _in his bed_.

I put on my coat and walked through the drizzle to his car. The driveway seemed so empty without my truck. But I didn't have anymore money to fix the truck and I wasn't sure if it'd be fair to Charlie to ask for more money.

Quickly I hopped in Edward's car and before the door was shut, Edward drove off. He put the volume of the radio up and kept his eyes on the road, as did I.

A black motorcycle flew past us and speeded in front of us until he was nothing but a tiny dot on the road.

"That ass," Edward said. "Have you met him?"

"Who?"

He pointed on the road and the person on the motorcycle.

"No."

"His name is Jacob Black. He and I are not... what's the appropriate word?"

"Friends?" I helped.

He remained quiet until a soft chuckle appeared on his face. "Yes, not friends. He hates my guts, I hate his."

"What did he do?"

This time, it was Edward who didn't reply.

Maybe this Jacob wasn't such a bad person after all. I watched the tiny dot in the distant and wondered if I could someday soon talk to him, ask him what he knew off Edward.

We reached school in silence. I was pondering over Alice, Jasper, Emmett, the girls, Edward and now even this Jacob.

Mostly I wondered why Edward hated Jacob's guts. Even _more _mostly I wondered why Jacob hated Edward's.

"Didn't you see that commercial with the famous actor and a girl when they switch suitcases and have to meet up again to change back their suitcases?"

I scowled at him, but shook my head. Lately, I hadn't watched a lot of television.

"Well, the girl says something about expecting the guy being more of a Ristretto kind of guy, instead of a Decafenato guy."

"There's a commercial?" I asked in surprise. "With _my _coffee machine in it?"

He laughed and nodded. "That's how I knew."

"Oh." Now I wondered if that was his first cup of the most delicious coffee in the world.

"So did you call for your truck?" he asked with a small hint of mock in his voice.

"_No_." _Please drop the subject now._

"Why not?"

We both turned to look at each other, and I got uncomfortable from both his gaze and the truthful answer I was about to give him.

"Because I don't have enough money."

He scowled a little and after a moment, nodded. "I'll drive you, until you've got your car back."

"Oh, that's too much trouble, you really don't have to do that, I'll find-"

"Just say yes," he said with a grin. "Thank me and say yes. It's no trouble. I'd gladly do it."

I watched him in horror. "But why?"

Edward's eyes were no longer on me, but somewhere far away, somewhere behind me. I turned my head and saw Tanya with her arms crossed, staring back at him. She was standing beside a red BMW with Rosalie, Lauren and Jessica. Were those girls always together?

There was no time for me to think about his apology. I only knew that we were not alone.

They started walking in our direction.

"Edward," Tanya said.

"You seem to not be able to leave me the hell alone," he said with a smile.

"Well, I see you found replacement." She appeared next to me and actually smiled at me. "But you always said that brunettes don't appeal to you."

"I don't."

Both Edward and Tanya were staring at me after I said that.

"I meant that..." I glanced at Edward and pointed at him and me. "We didn't do anything."

"_Right_. The gossip is around whole the town, so don't play dumb with me?" Her evil eyes left my wide ones and went to Edward. "And you miserable scumbag. Are you done? Did you have your fun? Proven your point to me?"

Edward kept his face impassive and then Tanya laughed.

"Oh, I see, she isn't your toy for the day. _Or_ week. Maybe for a month? Yeah, I'm giving you a month until you're sick and tired of her."

I wasn't even going to try and understand this whole conversation. I stepped out of the group and heard Tanya continue talking to Edward, but the words were just a blur.

"Hi Bella."

"_Shit_," I cursed.

_Emmett._

"Didn't mean to scare you," he said with a grin. "Please tell me you didn't do the bad stuff with Edward. That would be just wrong on so many levels."

"I didn't!" I said quickly.

"Good."

"Why would you think that?"

"Well, the rumor is everywhere."

I rubbed my head tiredly and wondered if this stupid town of Forks really didn't have anything else to do but spread rumors.

Inside the building he had to take a different turn and said a quick bye to me.

My first lesson wasn't a full class, because four certain girls were missing. I sat alone and thought back about yesterday. And just now, when Emmett said my name.

Yesterday I had gone through an evening meal in plain old McDonalds _and _a trip back to Forks with Edward there as my company. And I couldn't help but wonder why his behavior was different then I expected to.

Emmett seemed kind enough for me to not dislike talking to him. The words coming out of his mouth or an offer for help with a touch of comfort to it was nice for a change.

_It's so strange._

I did not except any of this to happen. And I realized that I came here, prepared for all the wrong things, because none of those things happened.

I was unprepared for all the things that did happen. It was too late to prepare myself now, because I was in the middle of it now.

Maybe it was better to not think through over each possible scenario, because right now, none of those had come true.

Art with Alice by my side was awkward. She seemed to be ignoring me and I drew a vampire, which was highly ridiculous, but it seemed that my whole life had turned ridiculous. The funny thing was that the teacher gave me an A. Apparently she found the drawing interesting.

My third lesson was still unaccompanied by the four girls and I was seriously wondering where on earth they'd gone to.

At lunch I sat by the boys and Angela. They were chattering, but I couldn't seem to get rid of the fact that all the Cullen's were gone, and also Jessica, Lauren and Tanya.

Even at Biology, Edward never entered and when I walked into the gymnasium for P.E., I was disappointed. I even worried a little when afterwards, they didn't even come to practice their boxing. And since I wasn't in the mood to box alone, I skipped the lesson.

Just like that the school day ended and I got to go home.

But then I wondered if maybe Edward's car or the BMW stood at the parking space and when I reached there, I was finally glad to see that those two cars were still there.

It just felt that by not seeing them for so long, they had disappeared from the face of earth.

I went to the Volvo and waited, feeling highly stupid and out of my mind.

_Just stand by his Volvo, Bella, why don't you? _

Maybe the time had finally come and I had gone crazy.

Edward flashed in front of me and I heard the click of his locks going up. He reached for the door and opened it. I felt a little ignored.

"Where have you been?" I asked.

He put his hand on the wide open door and glanced at me. "Will you fuck off?"

"Sorry?" I asked, taking a step away from him.

He glanced down and held my eyes. "Just piss off. I can't stand to look at you right now."

"W-What? I-I just-"

What did I do? Did he find out? With a loud thud, he shut the door of his car and turned his body to me, which instantly shut me up.

Whatever had happened, it wasn't good, because Edward was truly angry and I didn't even know why or if the anger was directed to me or anyone else.

"Right now," he said slowly, his voice clear, yet void of any emotion except anger, "I cannot stand a stuttering, annoying, lying little girl who's obviously so screwed up that even seeing her from a distance gives me a headache that can make a guy like me go suicidal."

He paused while that insult slowly got absorbed by my brain. I heard the same words repeat inside my head several times, as if hearing it just once wasn't enough.

_He _and his presence made _me_ sick, not the other way around. Yet, here he said that I gave him a headache, which was so bad he could commit suicide.

_I make him suicidal._

His brief laughter was dark and I took a step back, trying to keep the frown off my face and the shock out of my body. The cold rain soothed me, but only some.

"Go talk to somebody who actually cares, but I don't ever want to fucking talk to that fucking face of yours again. You fucking got it?"

_That boy can curse._

Stupidly, I nodded, but the rest of my body was frozen. I was feeling very cold and sick at the same time. I could only wonder what I had done wrong. I never meant any harm but something had made him angry _at me_.

I wanted to tell him that I hadn't done anything wrong, not really. I wanted to ask him why he was like this all of a sudden. And when that little courage dared me to open my mouth, Edward cut me off.

"Get yourself a fucking ride from somebody else. You're right when you think that you're a trouble after all." He laughed, and I took another step away.

Saying any other word slipped my mind and I was blank.  
>Even if I still wanted to talk to him, there was nothing in my head to say out loud. I was in shock at this big change in him, in this change that I tried to prepare myself for, but sadly hadn't. Now I got to feel the blow.<p>

_Suck it in, Bella._

I had to know what happened. I had to _understand_.

"I didn't come here for a ride home," I muttered, almost too soft for me to hear it myself.

Edward wasn't looking at me though. He was glancing in the distant toward the school building. His eyes narrowed.

"I just wondered why you disappeared all of a sudden."

His eyes remained on something else and I shivered, from cold or rejection, I didn't know.

"I..." I sighed. "I'll never bother you again, I'm sorry. Thanks... Thank you for this morning."

Edward now did look at me, but the look in his eyes was condescending and his smirk was one the devil himself wore.

"Maybe you should do everybody a favor and leave. Go back where you came from. Don't ever come back. Nobody here likes you. You'll never fit in."

I stopped breathing and couldn't find the strength to look away from those angry, dark eyes.

"What?" He laughed. "Did you actually think I like you? You? You, you're nothing. You're a fucking screw up. You know what I was thinking? Nobody ruined you. Nobody did anything harmful to you. You're just some attention seeking bitch. There's nothing special about you."

Tears burned my eyes and I turned around so he wouldn't see my eyes turning red. All that I had wondered was why he had disappeared all day long, with all his siblings and friends.

But perhaps I'd gone overboard with my interfering.

Yet I still couldn't understand where all this hate suddenly had come from. What did he find out about me that made him so angry at me?

My hand moved on its own accord, going in my bag and grabbing the packet. I opened it and threw the plastic back in my bag. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it on.

_So what? Let them see me smoke._

Secret number one was in the open. I didn't bother looking around to see if any of my classmates saw that I was smoking.

_Disgusting._

I didn't knew how anyone could get addicted to these things. I loved each drag, I hated the entire thing.

Right now I felt like I couldn't handle anyone's presence. So I began walking in the light drizzle to the road that would lead me home with a cigarette by my side.

For just one moment, something made me turn my head and look. I saw Emmett, Jasper and Alice reach the Volvo. Edward had his head low, staring into his car. He looked up at his siblings when they talked to him, but I was too far away to hear anything.

At the BMW I saw three girls watching with triumphant grins.

Is this what they wanted? Did they finally get their wish fulfilled?

Rosalie's face was emotionless, but I was guessing that she too loved this.

Maybe Emmett wasn't that trustful as I thought he was after all. I couldn't find any reason why Edward would suddenly get so bitterly angry and why those four girls found it so great that Edward had told me to never show my face at him ever.

The cigarette was my friend for the moment. Then again, it was my foe as well.

I was angry and hurt. Whenever people said things to me like the way Edward just did or if they got angry with no reason, I froze and I became a helpless, useless girl. Just now, I couldn't say a thing to Edward. It hurt to be weak.

My phone buzzed and I saw it was Charlie.

"Hi?" I asked carefully, my voice thick.

"Bella, do you need a ride home? You said this morning-"

"No."

"Oh...Okay. Where are you now?"

"On my way home."

My throat was closing up on me and I couldn't say much more to him. I felt like crying. For the first time after a really long time, I felt like crying.

"Are you okay?"

"_Yes_. Bye."

I hung up and pushed the phone in my coat jacket. This coat wasn't waterproof, so after a while, I was shivering hard from the wind escaping inside my coat and clothes. The drizzle had changed into rain. The rain changed to a loud clatter of huge drops falling down. And before I knew it, I saw lightening and heard thunder.

_Won't it be ironic, if I get struck by lightning?_

I didn't bother being careful. I kept walking next to trees, not caring, not really.

The amount of time it took me reach the house was lost by me. I just knew that the shivers seemed normal after they wouldn't go away and that I was tired from the walk. My body was fighting to stay warm.

I dropped my bag on the ground, pulled of my shoes at the front door and ran up. I turned on the warm water, found a towel and threw of my clothes into my room. By the time I stepped back into the bathroom, I had hot water, and had to turn some of the cold water on. When the temperature was perfect, I stepped in and let the water wash away all my problems.

It was amazing how water could do that. I felt better, even though I had done nothing then to stand solemnly in the stream of hot water.

But when I reached my arm to grab the bottle of shampoo, words replayed back in my mind.

_"I cannot stand a stuttering, annoying, lying girl."_

I didn't have to keep the tears in anymore. Nobody saw me hear, in this small area. The more I moved out of the stream to take things to wash my hair and body, the more I remembered from what previously happened.

_"Get yourself a fucking ride from somebody else. You're right when you think that you're a trouble after all."_

Even though I told him, before he offered to take me home for the time being that I didn't need for him to bring me to school, it still hurt to have that offer get ripped out of my grasp so harshly.

_Edward's back. Edward Cullen is just as I remember him, only he's a bit worse then I remember._

I was a sensitive girl. Words quickly offended me and the few people who found out about this, tried to tell that I had to toughen up and I did try. But I was sensitive. It was part of me. I couldn't stop it and no matter how hard I tried, when people were rude to me, I'd feel the blow probably much harder then any other person. Because I was a sensitive girl.

People could get angry at me and yell at me for no reason, and I would freeze, but that was not what I was going to apologize for. Not to myself or any other person. It wasn't a good thing to freeze at moments such as those, but there were other things I was capable of doing and I would have to compensate the bad with the good.

_"Will you fuck off?"_

I dropped a bottle and heard the loud thud as it touched the ground. Then I laughed shakily, but quickly it stopped as the laughing switched to hysterically breathing air in and out.

_"I cannot stand ... obviously so screwed up ... even seeing her from a distance ... gives me a headache ... make a guy like me go suicidal."_

The bottle remained on the ground, because I didn't want to move anymore. I stood completely still. I didn't know for how long I stood there in the hot water. Or the cold water. Because even when the water was ice cold, I still remained under the stream, because the water brought it all away. The problems and worries. But I was breathing heavily because again my body fought for warmth.

"Bella? Are you okay in there?"

_"Go talk to somebody who actually cares... __Fucking talk to that fucking face..._ _"_

I moved. I had to move. I couldn't stay under the water for any much longer anyway, because the cold was beginning to hurt as it made my skin go numb in a painful way.

_"Fucking got it?"_

I took a deep, slow breath as I turned the water off.

"Yeah," I called to Charlie.

_"You're a fucking screw up... nothing... Nobody ruined you... Anything harmful... Attention seeking bitch..."_

I quickly put a towel around me and dried myself, because I had goose bumps everywhere.

Once I stepped into my room, I noticed the time and realized why Charlie had called me. I had been in the shower for over an hour.

I closed my eyes and sighed. But this was even worse. With my eyes closed, I saw Edward behind my eyelids. I saw it happening all again.

_"There's nothing special about you."_

I snapped my eyes open and tried to feel anger, but there was only some. Mostly I was so, so sad.

Because there were a few words that hurt the most. He had spoken out my doubt, and it was crystal clear to me that Edward didn't want me hear anymore.

I closed my eyes again, just for good measures. Edward's black eyes were watching me again.

_"Maybe you should do everybody a favor and leave. Go back where you came from. Don't ever come back. Nobody here likes you. You'll never fit in."_

My lips shivered and I went to sit on my bed. Drops fell out of my eyes.

I could only think one thing.

_What did I do wrong?_

_"Don't forget to be cautiousness."_

Jasper's warning was worth gold. Maybe it was time for me to use those words to their value and to begin with, I had to stop forget about them in the first place.

I was practically handed gold and now I was going to use that gold.

When I got downstairs in a pair of black sweats and grey hoodie, I looked surprised when after a look through the window, I saw my truck outside.

"AAA brought your car," Charlie called from the living room. "They fixed it."

"That's great," I said. No more walks through the rain!

I glanced at the clock. When did it get a quarter past eight?

"I put the envelope with the bill on the kitchen table... Are you okay, though? You were in the shower for a long time."

I ripped the envelope open and scanned my eyes over the things they needed to replace.

_New battery._

Which meant a $100 bill.

_The insurance will pay for the expenses._

But my truck didn't have that kind of insurance, did it?

"I'm fine," I said quickly. "Since when do insurances pay for new batteries?"

"They don't."

"Well, it's odd that the AAA says that my insurance will."

I stepped into the living room where Charlie was watching a game. "That is odd." His eyes stayed on the television.

_Oh, well._

I got to have my truck back without paying any money for it, so maybe I did have some luck.

Charlie had cooked fish and it actually tasted nice. He had already eaten but I stood there awkwardly with a plate in my hand next to the couch.

"Do you mind if I join this game?" I asked, pointing at the ball game.

"No, course not, Bella," he said, for the first time glancing up. "Our team's winning."

I sat down and watched the game as I took small bites. Each time my mind wanted to wander, I forced myself to watch the movement of the players or the ball as it flew in all directions.

I knew that if I sat alone in my room, I'd just feel miserable. Being here next to Charlie who was very happy that his team was wining gave me some hope that there was still happiness in this tiny town.

"We won," Charlie said.

"Yeah, that's great." I tried to smile. The happiness was shown on the players, and it almost made me feel whole again. My next smile was genuine because the players were ridiculously dancing.

I had laid my head on the arm rest and my legs beside me. The plate was on the table in front of me and Charlie turned off the television.

"Do you want to sleep here? You seem pretty comfortable."

He was right and I was surprised he remembered me well. I had the problem of losing my sleepiness if I moved too much. Chances were big that if I got off the couch and walked to my bed, I wouldn't fall asleep. I sneezed.

"Bless you. What time do you wake? Six thirty?"

"Sure," I mumbled.

"Here, I put the radio alarm on."

Charlie put a thick, warm blanket over me and kissed me on top of my head.

"Sweet dreams, kiddo."

I smiled at the small gesture which meant so much to me. I felt like a child and teenager at the same time.

~#~

"Are you fucking serious?"

All seven of them stared.

"You belong in an asylum, each and one of you."

None of them talked. They had done their talking. I watched my two brothers, my two sisters and the three other girls.

"Alright. Fine."

I nodded.

"Okay. I'll stay away from her. But I gotta do a little something to keep her away from me, right? Or else she'll keep coming to me."

This part wouldn't bother Rosalie, Tanya, Lauren and Jessica at all. They wouldn't care.

But I knew Jasper, Emmett and Alice. They would hate me for it. And God knew I would hate myself for it. But I had no choice. They were giving me nothing.

"So I'll tell her to stay away from me, because I can't stand to be around her. I'll tell her she's a bitch, a worthless bitch. I'll tell her to go back to where she came from and I'll tell her she'll never fit in. I'll break that girl. It won't be very hard."

_And it definitely won't be easy, because I don't want to hurt her._

"She's already fucked up in her head. Telling her just how little value she has to this world, will push her off the edge. I'll break her, you guys. It'll be as easy as snapping a toothpick in two."

I smirked at the shocked faces of my brothers and Alice. Tanya, Lauren and Jessica had raised their eyebrows but wore huge ass smiles as well.

It was Rosalie's face that wasn't quite the way I expected it to be. She was scowling and her eyes held fear and sorrow. This was not the Rosalie that I knew.

I raised one eyebrow as soon as I caught her eyes.

"What?" I snapped when she kept looking at me as if I was about to commit a crime.

"Isn't that a little bit too harsh, brother?"

"I thought that's how you like it, _sister_."

"There's a limit, Edward. We're asking you to stay away from her, not to break the poor girl's spirit."

"Poor girl's spirit?"

"Shut up, Edward. Don't be cruel. Be fair."

I grabbed my packet of cigarettes. I pulled a cigarette out and pushed it back in my jeans. This classroom was suffocating me.

"The seven of you aren't fair. So why should I?"

"Edward, please," Alice said. "Rebecca is scared. Don't tell her all that stuff. It will break her for sure. That's not what you want, is it? You don't want that."

I watched her impassively.

"Please don't break her, Edward," Alice said, her big eyes pleading with me.

"Watch me, pix," I said as I walked outside to blow out some smoke.

~#~


	8. Trash can

_**Disclaimer**:_ I don't own these characters, I just like to play with them. 17-7-13

**_A/N_: **Sometimes, things get in the way. I would really like to finish this story, because I enjoyed the idea in the first place. Second of all, I don't want to be one of those fanfic writers who abandons his/her stories.

I hope you all don't hate me, but more importantly, enjoy!

My inspiration for the title of this chapter: Lady Gaga.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 8 - Trash can<strong>_

"_...beautiful weather with temperatures up to sixty-six," _the radioman said as it turned on to wake me up.

I scowled as the words replayed in my head.

_Beautiful weather? Here in Forks?_

I got off the couch and walked to the door and opened it. I gaped at the sky as there was not one rain drop to be found and the sky was bright blue instead of an ugly dark grey color.

Charlie's cruiser was next to my truck, so I guessed Charlie hadn't gone to work yet.

My head was pounding a little and my nose felt as if somebody had stuffed it with tissues. I was quite sure my walk through the rain yesterday was the reason for my cold today. My nose felt itchy and for a second I thought I was going to sneeze, but eventually the itch went away.

I found a navy blue t-shirt that said _Don't mess with me_. Beneath that it said _I'm adopted_. Alex bought it for me on my sixteenth birthday. There was a time a few weeks before I turned sixteen where I swore to him that there was no possible way that I belonged to Renée and Charlie.

His conclusion; _"You're adopted, Bella."_

He had the t-shirt made for me and it was a little worn out because I loved and wore the thing so much since the day I got it. The last few days I had forgotten about this shirt and it had laid in my closet without my notice.

I put on a pair of torn jeans and white sneakers and grabbed my bag that still only had one notebook and a pen in it. This time I left the boxing clothes at home. I wasn't planning on practicing boxing after Biology with Edward. Today I didn't have PE.

Like he said, after he filled in the consent form negative, I wouldn't be anywhere near that ring to compete. So what did it matter to still practice that stupid boxing?

I made myself a strong cup of coffee and added a lot of sugar and milk. I dumped two granola bars in my bag and a bottle of orange juice. I _wasn't _planning on going anywhere near the cafeteria today.

I wasn't sure how I was going to face any of them today, but I was going. No matter what pains and humiliations I felt, they weren't going to chase me away again like last time. Quickly I made a sandwich and ate it.

But when the routine came that I picked up my jacket, put it on and grabbed my car keys, I realized there weren't any. Edward still had my car keys on him.

_He's got my keys. No. No, no._

But then, how had the AAA brought my car here? Somebody must have driven it in order for it to _get _here, but how, if there were no keys? And didn't that cost money as well? I was quite sure that insurances didn't bring your car to the location you wanted it to be.

I walked to the truck and saw the keys hanging in the ignition. Somebody up there really loved me, because this truly was beyond me. I couldn't remember the last time I had such luck.

The hard groan my truck gave as I turned the keys sounded amazing to my ears and I put on the radio loudly and even rolled the window down completely for air.

A cheesy love song was screaming from the speakers.

Sadly, something went wrong, because the song stopped abruptly and the car went dead as the ignition went off and the car slowly came to a complete stop.

I turned the keys several times and tried to get the car working again, but it seemed like my luck had changed pretty instantly.

_It's a cruel joke, damnit_.

Even the radio had died.

There was no way I was going to be in school on time, because I was practically still at home, which meant I would have to walk a really long walk. A fifteen minute car ride would change into an hour walking. I got out of the car and gave up. An hour walk it would be. At tops I would miss my first class, but at least I could attend the rest once I made it to school.

Before I could start the walk, a motorbike approached and I stood aside to let it pass. Instead of driving on, the black, huge motorbike slowed down and stopped in front of my car. The person got off and turned around. I could see the boy's face because the helmet was only covering his head, but not his face. He was smiling and he leaned against his motorbike as he pointed at the truck.

"That's my car," he said.

I could see he had a tan and black, short hair. His eyes were dark, but somehow kind as well. I pointed at the car as well. "That car is mine."

The boy shrugged. "Well I built it."

I pressed my lips on each other and opened the car door and leaned in to pull out the keys from the ignition - yes, I had been indeed planning to leave the truck here with the keys still in the ignition.

"Here, take it. Have the car. Keep it. I don't want it anymore. Now I know why the ignition keeps turning off and why I'm stranded each time I need to be somewhere." The boy watched in sudden surprise, but I continued with giving him my theory about the defect truck. "It was made by a kid!"

I hit the keys on his chest and he put his hands on the keys as he watched me walk around him. I didn't bother looking back as I walked quickly, because I was going to miss second class as well if I didn't hurry.

"Kid?" I heard him mutter from behind me.

I just waved my hand as I kept walking.

"Hey, wait!" he said and I heard him come behind me as he probably ran. He appeared before me and smiled again. "Did you just call me a kid?"

The boy seemed at least my age, but I was tired, late, and angry at the car. When he realized I wasn't giving in, he pulled of his helmet and put it on my head. He clicked the straps on each other beneath my chin and altered it some so it would fit perfectly.

I didn't know why I didn't push him away or why his behavior wasn't pissing me off.

He scowled with an unsure smile. "Is everything okay with you?"

I was momentarily shocked at his question, only because it had been such a long time ago since the last time somebody asked me without wanting the usual "I'm fine" response.

"It's just because you look pretty tired."

I blinked a few times and swallowed. It was difficult, everything was such a big mess. And this boy, this sweet, nice boy put his helmet on my head, because he was probably going to drive me to school, without even asking me if I wanted the ride or not.

"What is it?" he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I bit my lip and shook my head. "I... I'm not okay. I've done... I-I've done a horrible thing."

He scowled and pulled his hand back. There it was. He was already disgusted by me.

"I told a lie..."

The boy stared harder and just waited.

So I gave up.

_Here's one for the truth._

"I told everyone my name is Rebecca Dwyer, but it's not. But I lied because they always... they were cruel and I had to move to a different town because of them because everybody thought I had done this bad thing. Now I'm back in this crappy town. I can't do it anymore."

When I saw the boy's face, l winced, because it was in complete confusion.

"They... They... They used to hurt me, like... You know?"

"No, explain," the boy said seriously.

I shook my head quickly. What was I doing? Why was I telling this guy whose name I didn't even know yet about my past?

"No, never mind," I muttered, dropping my head, which resulted into my hair falling into my face.

"_No_," the boy said. "Tell me what you wanted to tell me."

_What's wrong with me? Snap out of it!_

But I couldn't.

"Explain," the boy said one more time.

"They used to hurt me physically and emotionally... They did that to me on purpose. I know it was so long ago, but I still think they hate me."

I had never, ever in my life had a more difficult task than the one I was performing right now. Each word came out of my mouth with great difficulty and what seemed to me like in slow motion.

"I don't know what to do... And they don't even know it's me. Yesterday, one of _them_, told me I should go back to where I came from. Now I'm thinking, why not? Actually, why am I still here?"

Nobody had that answer for me. Maybe I was a masochist or maybe I was just crazy. I could end the pain very easily, but why didn't I? Why did I choose this life, when I could have another?

Why didn't I choose for the easier life?

"When did you come to Forks?" he asked with a frown.

"Monday."

"Yesterday?"

I shook my head.

"The week before?"

I nodded.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"And," he said slowly, "you were born here in Forks?"

I nodded.

"And how old were you when you went to live to that other town?"

"Eight."

"Is Edward one of the bullies?" He asked this casually, as if he already knew the answer.

I nodded.

Suddenly, a part of me was relieved. That's exactly what Edward was. And apparently, I was not the only one who knew. This could only mean one thing.

_Edward bullied more people, not just me._

"Who else?"

I shrugged. What was it to him to know who had treated me badly? Nobody could change that.

"Well, what's your name? Besides Rebecca Dwyer."

I shook my head. "Why are you interviewing me?"

"Why did you give me your life story?"

I opened my mouth only to snap it shut.

"Look, I don't gossip. I'm not like that. Whatever you tell me will stay between us. Besides, Edward Cullen is not a friend of mine."

_For all you know, he's telling you sweet little lies. You've already said too much, so shut up._

I sighed hard, because I didn't know what to believe.

"How come?" I asked.

The boy huffed, and said, "There was a day when I called him my friend, but that was a long time ago."

Suddenly, I remembered a guy on a motorcycle as Edward mentioned him. But what name did he say?

"Hang on, Edward mentioned you yesterday. At least, I think it was you. Are you... Jake...?" I shook my head. What name did Edward mention? "I don't remember what name he said."

"Close enough," the boy said with a laugh. "Jacob Black," he said, reaching out his hand. "But _you_ can call me Jake."

I took his hand and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Jacob," I said. "Bad memory."

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. You must be Isabella Swan, Bella for short."

My eyes widened and I snapped my hand out of his. "How do you know my name?"

"Edward mentioned you."

"He _knows?"_ I gasped. "He _knows _I'm here?"

_Stupid Bella! Fool!_

Edward mentions Jacob, Jacob mentions Edward. It couldn't be coincidence. They were messing with my head, and they were messing with me real good.

_Jacob lied. And you were such a naive girl to trust him with no good reason at all._

"Chill out," Jacob said. "He mentioned you, what, four years ago when I was fourteen."

I stopped breathing.

_What?_

Edward mentioned me to this Jacob, _four _years ago?

Jacob explained. "When Edward and I were fourteen, he told me about a Bella Swan and what he did to her. He told me everything. First I had to promise him to not judge him while he told me everything, so I waited until he was finished. When he was finished talking, just the sight of him made me sick."

I didn't believing a word of his crap story. I convinced myself that this boy was a friend of Edward's, and that they had planned this, just to ruin me some more.

So I took a step backwards and watched him in accusation.

"No," I snapped. "I don't believe you."

"What?" Jacob seemed genuinely confused. As if he really didn't understand me.

"I bet you and Edward planned this," I said. "This is just a game for you two, isn't it?"

Jacob laughed hard and watched me like I was crazy.

He could do what he wanted, but still, I didn't believe him.

"I haven't spoken to Edward in years," Jacob said. "I _hate _Edward. He's disgusting and he even got away with all the things he did to you."

"Shut up," I said with a trembling voice. "Just shut up." I shook my head. "You're lying."

"He told me you moved away," Jacob continued quietly. "You were eight. Nobody would say where you went. He told me about the cigarette. But you didn't want to smoke it. Your father believed them over you. Edward told me how he used to call you names, steal your things, pull your hair _hard_, make fun of nearly your everything..."

I rolled my eyes. Most of those stuff were general things. Anyone could make them up.

"The gum in your hair, the threats about that rabbit in a basement, tripping you into a pool of dirty rain water and then forcing you to go to school the next day, even if you were really sick, and Edward also told me about that day with the trash can. I know everything."

I turned around so that I wouldn't see him anymore. This universe was too freaking big for this to happen to me. It couldn't be real and I knew it was some sick joke.

It _had _to be one big joke. This was a bad nightmare and soon I would wake up with quick breaths and an ice cold body covered in sweat.

For years I had tried to mash those bad memories away, to a place where I could never find them.

But then something like this happens to me. Some boy randomly walks into my life, tells me he knows my name and past.

"I'm not planning to use any of that against you, just because I know," Jacob said slowly from close behind me. "I'm not the bad guy."

"Why should I believe you?" I muttered.

"Why not?" he shot back.

I turned to him and watched him in fury. Maybe because I didn't know him, or maybe because I stopped caring about what my tormentors wanted to do to me.

Maybe Jacob did know everything, but that didn't mean he wasn't the bad guy as well.

Jacob sighed and carefully said, "I believe nobody should be thrown into a trash bin and called a waste, Bella."

Defeated.

That's what I was.

That's what I felt

Defeated.

_I never told anybody that._

"That's what they did to you, isn't it?" he slowly asked.

My breathing stuttered and I couldn't even look at him anymore.

It seemed like maybe he wasn't lying.

Defeated. Definitely.

"You... know... _everything?"_

"Yes. When you told me about being bullied away, I thought of the name Bella. The chances were small, but that's why I asked you how old you were when you left Forks and how old you are now. I remember Edward saying that you're one year younger then he is."

"Oh." I felt sick.

"I swear, I hate him, maybe even more then you do. I hate him because of what he did to you."

I nodded my head and tried to breathe as another question popped up. "Why did Edward tell you everything?"

"The guy's crazy, who knows?"

I laughed nervously and looked around.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" For the first time I looked back at him again. Not because he apologized. But because I knew he meant it when he said that he was sorry.

"Everything they ever did to you."

I closed my eyes for a second. I wanted to forget it. I wanted to erase my memories. I wanted to start over again.

"I suppose you need a ride?" Jacob said, getting on his motorbike.

"Yeah..." I muttered.

"Forks High?"

"Yes."

"Come on then."

"Don't you go to school?"

He turned around and nodded. "I go to school, just not Forks High. You're going to be late, _Isabella Swan_."

I bit my lip for another time. "I... I'll walk..."

Jacob sighed. "I gathered you're not yet ready to let them know who you really are. I won't blow your cover." He motioned for me to get on the bike. "Trust me."

I stepped towards the bike and looked at the big thing.

Jacob smiled and pointed behind him. "C'mon, get on."

So I did and he quickly took my hands and put them around his waist until I had to hug him.

"I like your shirt, by the way."

Jacob turned and did this sexy grin and suddenly I remembered my shirt, and the lines on them.

_Don't mess with me.  
>I'm adopted.<em>

I laughed really hard as he turned on the engine and called over his shoulder to hang on tight

He started his bike and was driving at what seemed top speed in just a few seconds and adrenaline coursed through me, but not from fear. This was exhilarating. I held Jacob tightly and smiled as I looked around.

It was a matter of a few minutes and we reached Forks High and I was luckily on time.

"Wow, that was a great ride," I said with a big smile as I got off with an adrenaline high.

"You're welcome," he said, reaching for beneath my chin so that he could take the helmet off. "What time you finish?"

"Two."

Jacob glanced behind me and smiled at me happily. "Great, I'll pick you up then, Marie."

He winked and my mouth dropped.

_He knows my middle name? Edward told him my middle name? How does Edward even know my middle name is Marie?_

"And I'll see what I can do with that truck."

_Jacob wasn't lying._

"Thanks, Jacob," I said.

He put on the helmet. "Seriously, call me Jake. It's what you thought was my name after all."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure sure, maybe."

"Sure sure, maybe?" Jacob mimicked.

I laughed again but only because Jacob was so charming. It felt good though, to laugh.

"Good luck and don't worry, okay? Keep your chin up. I'll see you later."

I nodded and he drove around me and took a turn to the right, disappearing from my sight.

What a strange morning it was.

I turned around for the first time to face my schoolmates. Too quickly I noticed most of my classmates and they were watching me, among them Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Tanya, Lauren, Jessica and Angela. At last I noticed Edward. I quickly looked away. It was Angela who waved with a smile and I did the same to her. Mike waved too and went to walk with Angela to school.

Strangely, I wasn't that worried about Edward. I guessed he would ignore me anyway. I just had to keep my face hidden so he wouldn't see me and then, everything should stay okay.

I sneezed two times loudly and heard a few people randomly say _bless you_. I muttered a thank you.

But I felt somebody bump on me from behind and I stumbled forwards.

It was Edward and he called me a word which nobody had ever accused me off, but I supposed there was a first time for everything.

"Slut."


	9. Hello Kitty

_**Disclaimer**_: I don't own these characters.

_**A/N:** _Hi :P so my last update was July the 17th 2013, I know, I know.

So here's the deal with me. I think almost two months ago a guy told me he really liked me, so I was like, why the heck not? Let's have a relationship. I liked him as well. I had known him for just a month and met him at a temporary workplace. After more then a week we broke up, which made this probably the shortest relationship in history. We didn't match, but after a while of not speaking, I checked if _maybe _he wanted to remain friends, and he actually said yes. But we couldn't even keep this relationship going. He ignored my texts after a while. So I deleted him in any way I could (phone number, Facebook). It was after nearly a month (January the 7th) I saw him. I had this great plan of ignoring him, but he actually greeted him. After quickly responding, I wanted to walk on, but he asked me how I had been so I quickly said "good, you?" and barely hearing his response, I left without goodbye. That night I dreamed about him. I dreamed that I saw him, however in my dream, he ignored me, which made the dream a nightmare, because that hurt! So I believe my subconscious told me that even though I would have rather ignored him (and that he should have ignored me), it was better that we spoke, however briefly, for my sanity, and perhaps his as well.

Then there's school. I started studying Life Sciences last September but I hate it! So I might stop, which would mean search for another study. And start a new study in September, however, what will I do with the rest of my time?

For everybody still thinking this story is worth reading, enjoy! And the best of wishes in 2014 :).

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 9 - Hello Kitty<em>**

Even though a sweet guy named Jacob Black had given me a ride to school, not to mention, my first motorcycle ride ever, I felt a pang of loneliness.

I stared into my notebook and made doodles. Many, useless doodles. The notes on the board were forgotten by me. I kept my mind blank by making doodles. By keeping my mind blank, time went faster and the voices around me disappeared into a low murmur that didn't get registered by my brain. This way I prevented hearing anything that would hurt me.

I jumped out of the chair and was one of the first to leave when class ended. Art was a pain because I still had Alice sitting next to me, but her body language was different. I could tell she had something on her chest and I prayed that she'd keep it to herself. I didn't need anything right now. Instead of drawing, I made yet again doodles. I just hoped the teacher wouldn't notice.

I had worth fifteen minutes of doodles until Alice eventually did talk.

_Shit._

"Did you catch a ride home yesterday?" she asked in a hesitant voice.

I nodded.

"With who?"

"With myself." Lying was not an option and besides, why didn't she deserve to hear the truth? Her big brother left me in the rain. _And storm. And thunder._

"You _walked_?" She sounded irritated.

"Yes." I began doodling again, hoping she'd understand the message.

_To shut up!_

"Well at least you have your truck back thanks to Edward," she said cheerfully.

I scowled as a few things began clicking in my mind, but I wasn't ready to believe them yet.

_Wait, would it be? __No, not possible._

It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible.

"Edward had to pay the AAA _extra _for them to actually let him pay in the first place for all the expenses," Alice said. "Then he payed one of the AAA men to drive your truck back home, but not before the AAA came to _our _house first to take your car keys, because Edward had your keys. Then they drove back to Port Angeles for your truck and..." She laughed a little. "It was really interesting to see Edward fuss so badly over you."

I shook my head. "No. He probably felt sorry because I had to walk home."

I didn't want Edward to pay for my things. So I was going to find a job and give my savings to Edward for that stupid truck. Besides, it was just money. I'd earn it back.

"Edward doesn't feel sorry," Alice mumbled. "He's that kind of a guy. He lives for himself."

I turned my head to Alice in incredulity, but she was drawing the half of a face. I guessed it was someone random, since I didn't recognize the person. With a scowl I watched her, and with almost troubled eyes, she continued.

"Edward doesn't _do _girlfriends either, but he _does _girls. Don't be one of his numbers."

I widened my eyes and almost laughed. "He doesn't want to... to do _that _with me."

"Can you repeat that with absolute sureness?" she asked, her eyes narrowing slightly as if she already knew I couldn't.

"Yes. Edward was very clear yesterday. And this morning." When he called me a slut.

How could she possibly think that Edward wanted me like that? If only she had witnessed all the things he said to me yesterday. She wouldn't hesitate to believe that Edward loathed me.

"Oh." She sounded surprised.

Alice dropped her troubled eyes back to her drawing.

"How come you didn't come to school with your truck?"

"I don't know," I muttered in sigh. "It broke again."

I quickly made a few more doodles as I noticed that it was just one more minute. Then I shut my notebook and my bag in my other hand. What made me stop from standing up was Alice.

"Edward hates tuna."

I swallowed nervously as I looked her in the eye for the first time.

"Like _really _hates it. I'll see you at lunch." She gave a broad smile and left.

I lifted myself out of the chair and went to Trig where yet again I was forced to be in the same room as the four pair of eyes that were glaring at me.

_Jealous, they are jealous of me._

Why would they be jealous of me?

I sat down on the very front table on a safe distance from them. Trig made no sense but trying to understand it was a very good distraction.

_He hates tuna. _But he did eat a whole tuna sandwich.

The numbers, I had to look at the numbers on the whiteboard. And I did. I tried to figure out how the teacher had managed to solve the problems and even though none of it made sense, the hour flew by.

Spanish contained a grammar lesson and I listened intently on every word the teacher said. Though sometimes, I really did wonder;

_Did he eat the tuna to get into my pants?_

_Yeah right._

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and allowed the Spanish words to slip into my head instead.

Finally, lunch time arrived. I decided to find Edward to ask for the number. I was going to pay him back. But first I went to the bathroom, not just because I had to go but also to give him more time to reach the cafeteria in the first place.

With my hands under the cold water, I looked at my face, which was still just as pale as before. Without make-up, I actually looked sick. I closed my eyes, so I wouldn't have to look at my reflection any longer.

I didn't consider myself ugly, but beauty wasn't a word to describe me either. I was just average. I didn't have the thick locks that Rosalie had, or Tanya's double D's. Even my length was 5 feet 3, which was shorter then the average girl.

I quickly ate a granola bar as I headed for the cafeteria. I was nervous and hesitant. Where would Edward be? Would he have company? And what would I say to him?

Spotting Edward wasn't difficult. He was sitting on the same table he had sat on last Monday, with exactly the same people.

As I got closer, I saw a sandwich in front of him and got curious. All my attention and eyes were on that sandwich and I tried to angle my head in a way to see what was on the sandwich. But then I spotted something green and yellow and assumed it was lettuce with cheese. He wasn't eating tuna.

_Damn it._

Then I reached the table, but I had only eyes for Edward. He didn't even look up when I stood beside him. I had planned to ask something firm, like, "Could I have a word?" or "How much did you pay?"

But I lamely sneezed, covering his entire sandwich with my snot. He still didn't look up.

Well, maybe, I was exaggerating just a bit, but still, I sneezed.

"I need to know something," I said, sniffling once.

_Well, wasn't that an attractive sound to make with your nose, Bella!_

Nearly all girls on the table, except Alice, cleared their throats. As if they were dismissing me. This time _I _glared at the lot of the lemmings.

My eyes went to Jasper and Emmett, who were watched Edward pointedly. Alice kept her eyes on the table sadly. What was their problem?

_Seriously!_

"About the truck," I continued, since he wasn't going to open his mouth. "How much did it cost you, because," _I'd like to pay you back._

"How many times will you ask me, _Rebecca_?" he snapped, turning over and looking up at me. My eyes widened as I saw with how much anger he was looking at me. "Will you just finally deposit the money?"

"Sorry?"

How many times will you ask me? This was the first time I asked him. So why would he even say that?

_What on earth have I done to get him so mad?_

"The four hundred thirty dollars?" he asked. "I didn't _give_ it to you, you know?"

"_What_? Four hundred thirty dollars?"

_How does a battery replacement cost four_ _hundred thirty dollars?_

"Yes," he said with venom.

"Okay," I nodded my head. "I'll give it to you after school."

"Great," he said sarcastically. "Fan-_fucking-_tastic."

I bit my lip and tried to keep the pain inside my chest. I didn't even understand why it hurt, I just knew it did. One more time I glanced around. The girls were laughing, minus Alice and strangely Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper seemed to look guiltily and Alice watched with pain in her eyes at her hands. Rosalie was looking in the distant, and for a second I wondered what was on her mind.

And Edward, when our eyes locked, he was glaring at me with dark eyes.

"Jeez, I told you I'd give it to you! Don't you have any patience?"

Tanya gasped and I brought my angry eyes to here. Honestly, I surprised myself as well.

"Oh, no... I hurt your boo," I said in a fake sad face. "Go do your damn job on him in the damn loo."

"How dare you, bitch!" Tanya screeched.

"It's the truth," I replied in a soft, sweet voice.

"As if you haven't done him as well! I bet you spread your legs for him on your very first day here, that's why he's so obsessed about you now!"

"Disgusting! As if!" I screamed. Is that what they thought? They thought I had sex with Edward! Tanya laughed, clearly indicating she didn't believe me. "That that back, bitch!" She just laughed harder. "That it back, whore!"

I reached across the table and grabbed her collar with one hand and punched her cheek. She quickly recovered, punching me in both my sides. I hissed in pain and hands tried to grab my waist.

"Stop!" Alice screamed.

"Tanya, let her go!" That was definitely Rosalie's voice.

I spit in Tanya's face and her face changed instantly. Her fist was super fast and it collided with the side of my face, and something actually teared my skin open.

I wanted to punch her back, I didn't care anymore. I actually noticed a ring on her finger, which was probably the cause of my tearing skin. I felt liquid run down my cheek and Tanya's face was the one in victory.

My sense told me minutes had passed, but in fact it had only been seconds. Rosalie and Emmett had a grip on Tanya, but her angry eyes never left mine.

And _somebody _had a grip on me.

I tried to break free the entire time as that person behind me forced me out of the cafeteria.

"Calm the fuck down, Coco."

"Screw you, bitch!"

He was pushing me through doors and swing doors and I scowled momentarily as he pushed me inside the boy's changing room.

"Let me go! LET! ME! GO! I hate you! I hate you, Edward!"

I gasped as I realized what Edward just did. He pushed me under a stream of ice cold water. I instantly ran out to prevent getting soaking wet. I looked at Edward in disbelief, but he just shook his head at me.

"What is your problem?" I hissed.

He seemed to ignore my anger as he stared at the side of my face.

"_Look_ at what you did!" I pointed at my partly wet clothes and partly wet hair.

"Yeah, I see what I did," he said with a calm voice. "I cooled you down, because you changed from a prude to a bitch."

I blinked two times as that sunk in. So I was either a prude or a bitch. A prude or a slut.

"I see," I muttered. "Well, I'm sorry I hurt your girlfriend. I don't know what got over me."

Edward seemed to have a debate, because his eyes kept changing to looking at different objects behind me.

"I'm taking you to the nurse," he said instead.

"Fine."

"But wait." He went to his locker and threw a towel at me. I dried my face - careful not touching the wound, and my hair. Then I threw the towel on the ground, watched him to dare me to call me a bitch again, and walked away. I heard him throw his locker door shut - loudly.

He showed me the way to the nurse without a word. A chubby lady with short brown hair in a white coat was reading a magazine, but looked up when Edward and I stepped in.

"Mr Cullen! I haven't seen you in a while now. And a new Miss! I haven't met you, have I?"

I shook my head.

"I am nurse Jackie," she said while extending her hand.

"Hi." I shook her hand. "Rebecca Dwyer." The words tasted poisonous.

"Well, Miss Dwyer, I think I know why you're here, but how did you get this cut?"

I looked downcast and she told me to sit down on a chair. She looked at Edward, I saw this from the corner of my eye.

"She got in a fight with Tanya. Completely her fault. For thinking you can beat a girl like Tanya!"

"Mind your mouth, Mr Cullen! I can tell you, us girls do not start fights unless we've absolutely have had enough! So before you point your finger at this girl accusingly, I want you to ask yourself the question, was it really completely her fault or did anybody else play a role in her outburst as well?"

I scowled a little and looked at nurse Jackie.

"Nice right you have there, Miss Dwyer. Saw the whole thing happening." She showed me a computer with small moving video's on it. Then I realized those were the camera's that were hanging around in the school building.

"Live show," I muttered. So she already knew how I got the cut, pretending she didn't.

I wanted to thank her for defending me, but I didn't want to thank her in front of Edward. So I tried so with my eyes, only I didn't think she understood.

She spread some Betadine on the wound, which stung, and was about to put a band aid on my forehead.

"No!" I said, standing up. "That's silly."

"Now you listen to me, and you listen well, Miss Dwyer! I don't want you running any strange infections, what with your hair touching this wound all the time."

"But she's right," Edward said. "This would be more suitable for our Miss Dwyer."

Edward stepped in front of me and had found a band-aid as well, and he plastered it on my forehead.

"Ouch!" I said.

Miss Jackie stared at my forehead with amusement and covered her smile with her hand. "Oh dear..."

"_What_?"

Edward shook his head. And his expensive looking phone appeared in front of my face, flashing once.

"Did you just make a picture?" I asked deadly.

"Aren't you just adorable?" he said fake happily, showing me the picture.

On the picture was me, with a pink Hello Kitty band-aid on my forehead.

I reached up to my forehead to yank it off, but Edward stopped me by holding both my wrists and pulled me away from the nurse.

"Bye bye, Jackie!"

"Bye Mr Cullen and be kind! Take care, Miss Dwyer."

We got in time for our Biology class and I sat down, waiting for Mr Banner to start class.

_What have I done?_

I randomly picked a fight with Tanya, I spoke rudely to Edward and my karma was that I had to sit here with Hello Kitty on my forehead.

"Today class, I'll start with a small documentary about diabetes, because last week I realized that-"

Mr Banner's eyes fell on me and he watched me in confusion. Edward chuckled beside me and I snapped my head to him.

"Will you be quiet!" I hissed in a low voice. "I'm trying to pay attention."

Edward just raised his hands in mock surrender.

My head hurt. Is this what Edward meant? Did I give him a headache the way he gave them to me? I was getting a migraine attack. And it was a _heavy _one. I had to hold the side of my head as the pain hit me so hard it shut my right eye. I couldn't even open that eye because it hurt too much.

This was my final class. I wasn't going to go to the nurse again.

"Rebecca?" a soft voice asked.

"Huh?" I looked around confusedly. It was then that I noticed Mr. Banner.

"Edward, please escort Rebecca to our nurse."

"No..." I muttered. "Not necessary." However, the pain was killing me.

"Can't you ask anybody else?" Edward asked.

There was silence for a moment and Edward slammed his book shut.

"Fine," he snapped and I saw him get up out of the corner of my eyes. I tried to stand and nearly forgot my bag. Strangely, Edward didn't open the door and disappear, like I thought he would have. He stayed right behind me.

"I shall see you tomorrow, Rebecca," Mr. Banner called.

When we were finally out of the classroom, I began a rant.

"You can go, it's okay, I'm fine."

Another pain shot up, spreading to the sides of my head. I took slow steps to the exit. I wasn't sure though if I was going to survive the trip home. I could barely look at my surroundings.

_And I really don't want to pay a visit to the school's nurse again._

"Aren't you going to the nurse?"

"No."

"Suit yourself."

I stepped outside and felt the first drops of rain on my skin, when suddenly two things clicked;

_I have no truck._

_Edward stepped outside as well._

"Why are you still following me?" I groaned without looking back.

"I want to know why you're suddenly friends with Jacob Black."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and watched the time. Jacob told me he'd be here at 2. Just 45 more minutes left to wait.

_Great._

The only thing I did was give Edward a slight scowl. But then the need to elaborate expanded.

"I'm not friends with Jacob, I only just met him. But he is actually nice to me, unlike some people."

I sat down on the stairs and glanced up quickly just in time to see Edward roll his eyes.

"Oh," I said, remembering. "Is it okay if I pay back tomorrow?"

He watched me with a serious, slightly annoyed expression.

"I-I just mean, tomorrow is easier to-"

"Fine, do whatever the fuck pleases you. But it wasn't four thirty. You can add two fifty extra which I gave the staff under the table."

My eyes widened. "Two fifty? As in, two hundred and fifty dollars? On top of the four hundred and thirty dollars?"

Edward didn't even reply. I owed him six hundred and eighty dollars.

I couldn't control my face and he probably saw my torment about losing that much money. I blinked slowly and looked at the ground. This big amount of money that would disappear from my saving made the migraine even worse. If I found a job and worked, I'd have the money back in no time, so it didn't matter. Besides, I needed a ride to school and back home. A car costs money.

Edward turned and walked back inside. It hurt a little to watch him walk away as if I was vermin and he couldn't stand to be close to me, talk to me or even look at me.

I was thinking: $680.

I was thinking: my migraine was killing me.

I was thinking: still half an hour until Jacob arrives.

Well, instead of just waiting, I thought of using my time usefully so I wrote a text to Renée.

_Hi Mom. In the middle of a migraine attack right now :( but I met a guy... My car broke down this morning and he drove me to school and he's about to pick me up :D is the sun missing me in Phoenix? X Bella_

I looked through my phone at old text messages, smiling as I went.

My phone buzzed after not even five minutes.

_Bella! I'm so sorry I didn't call you back after you called me last week, I totally forgot! Really, a migraine attack? But a guy! What's his name? How old is he? What does he look like? You're migraine attack should leave RIGHT NOW if this guy is about to pick you up! The sun is as always bright and shining, and missing you! X _

I smiled at her silly way of talking about the fact I told her there's a guy. And I had forgotten about the fact that she had ignored my last week's call, which had been right before Emmett told me he knew who I really was.

I typed: _It's okay, it wasn't that important. His name is Jacob Black, I'm allowed to call him Jake. He's 18, tanned, tall, black hair, black eyes and he rides a motorcycle._

Nearly instantly my phone buzzed with her reply: _Use protection, honey!_

My eyes bulged and in the distance I heard a motorcycle. My face grew hot and after checking the time, I put my phone away. Jacob was early.

I smiled as he came to stop in front of the entrance with that beast of his.

"Hey," he said with a broad smile. "You make it a habit of sitting in the pouring rain?"

I told him about previously, how I got a migraine attack and that Edward had to take me to the nurse, and now that I thought of it, the rain helped with soothing the headache.

I didn't tell him that I owed Edward money, though. That was a bit too personal.

"Some guy he is," Jacob muttered. "So he dumps you outside in the pouring rain and gets back to class?"

I laughed at his way of describing how my day went. "_No_, I told him I wouldn't go the the nurse and I could have waited inside, but like I just told you, the rain kind of relaxes me."

Now Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Rain doesn't relax people."

"Does too!"

"Tell that to the cold you'll have probably by the end of today."

I shrugged. "I've been sneezing all day, so I've already caught a cold."

Jacob slapped his forehead. "Crazy Phoenix girl never heard of an pneumonia?"

"What's that?" I asked with a scowl, pretending I didn't know.

"You don't know what-" he began saying in disbelief.

I got up and pointed my finger in his face. "Got ya!". He pursed his lips but eventually laughed. He grabbed a second helmet from under his seat and gave it to me. I put it on my head.

"I'll get you back for that," he said with a grin.

"Good luck," I said with a sweet smile.

Another rush of adrenaline coursed through my veins as I sat behind him and he drove the same path we took this morning. It wasn't just the ride though. It was the way I was sitting behind him, touching his back with my chest and his legs with mine. My arms were tightly around his waist. It seemed intimate to me.

All too soon we reached my truck and he looked under the hood.

"So, what do you think?"

He shook his head. "This is one expensive joke, Bella. See these wires? They all need replacement to get the engine to work again."

"Oh, no…"

"No good news indeed," Jacob said sadly.

"But how much are we talking about?"

Instead, Jacob – who still had my keys, which I gave to him this morning, went inside my car and miraculously started the engine and everything seemed perfectly fine.

He let the engine running as he stepped out and watched me calculatingly.

"Well, let me think," he said. "A date."

"What?"

"A date with me."

"Huh?"

"The extremely expensive repair to fix your truck will cost you a date with me," he said slowly as he walked toward me and unstrapped the helmet on top of my head.

I looked at the truck as if I noticed just for the first time that the engine was running. But what had Jacob done? He told me all those wires needed replacement and that it would be expensive. But he hadn't replaced anything, so how did-

I closed my eyes and Jacob burst out laughing.

"Told you I'd get you back for that," he said.

I opened my eyes and nodded, with a little disappointment aching my heart. Of course he would get back at me, just joking around. Of course, why would a guy like him want to go on a date with a girl like me? I had actually thought he meant it. The truck didn't need all those wire replacements, he had just gotten back at me. Also, the date part was a joke as well.

_Unfortunately._

I sighed. "Yeah, you got me. Good one, Jake. Real nice." I didn't hide some of the pain I felt.

"What's the matter?" he asked with a scowl.

I turned around to get in the truck, but he turned me around.

"Hey, Bella, I'm sorry, but what…what happened? What did I say wrong?"

"Nothing." I shook my head. "You did nothing wrong, Jake."

He breathed harshly, probably getting annoyed by me. _Good_. The sooner he would leave me alone. I was in the need of some alone time right now.

"_Bella_," he snapped. "Tell me what I did wrong."

"Nothing." A robot couldn't have said that in a more monotone way. I could have won a noble prize.

"I thought you could actually _handle _a joke?" he said rudely. I laughed bitterly.

"Yeah, because it's such a joke to go on a date with me?"

"That-" he began, but stopped abruptly, watching me. Just watching me.

"My point exactly," I said as I pointed at him. "Look, it's okay, I got to go. Thanks for fixing my truck, anyway."

"Did it ever occur to you that you misunderstood the part on which I was joking?"

He crossed his arms and watched me with a serious expression.

"You're truck is fine, two cables were disconnected and I reattached them. Done. So I just joked about telling you the problem is much bigger than that. Well, then I thought, I could joke about the prize, since I knew it wasn't going to cost you a dime."

Jacob sighed and I scowled. What was he saying?

"And then I asked you out a date and you thought I was joking about asking you out on a date."

I stared at him hard, trying to understand his words. Some part in my head was blocking the part which had to understand the meaning to Jacob's words. I was so deep in thought, I shrieked as I was suddenly pulled forward. He pulled of my helmet and threw it on the ground.

I blinked in confusion as I thought: is he _really _about to kiss me?

_Of course not._

Why would he?

"There's this look in your eyes," he muttered. "And I don't like it."

"What look?" I croaked out. His eyes seemed pitch black.

"Disbelief."

His hand went behind my head and he brought his own head down, kissing the left side of my lips, and then the right side, and the slowly touching his lips to mine.

_First kiss…_

It was a strange sensation. I couldn't describe it in words. What were they doing there anyway? I opened my mouth and felt the tip of his tongue on my own.

I couldn't help it or stop it, but I giggled. I opened my eyes and saw his were already open. Jacob pulled back and had a little bit of amusement in his own eyes.

He brought his lips to my forehead and left them there for a few seconds in the act of a kiss. I closed my own eyes, feeling completely content.

"Are you convinced now that dating you is not a joke to me?"

Jacob pulled back.

"It's strange," I muttered. "My headache is gone." I opened my eyes to see Jacob scowling. "Oh, that's weird, I'm sorry. It's weird, right? It's a weird thing to say after somebody kisses you?"

"No," Jacob said with a laugh. "It's not weird. Actually…" He took my hand in his and kissed my knuckles. "I'll take that as a compliment." He turned my hand and wrote something on my palm. "Let me know once you're home safely, Bella."

I nodded, seeing he had written down his number.

"You should come to my school, and ditch Fork's High," he said. "Think about it."

I nodded with a smile.

"And one more thing... This morning, I could have looked at your truck, see if I could fix the problem instantly."

"Why didn't you?"

"Well... It would have meant spending less time with you."

Now he smiled and I inhaled sharply.

"So... Let me know when you and Hello Kitty get home."

I brought my hand to my forehead to hide the band-aid which I had forgotten about.

Jacob instead laughed and picked up the fallen helmet. I stepped into the truck and waited to ride until Jacob disappeared out of sight.

Back home, I lied down on the couch with eyes closed.

_$680._

_Jacob kissed me._

A thought, completely different then all the ones I'd already had hit me like a slap in the face.

Edward paid for the truck but the insurance papers said that the insurance would pay.

Charlie said insurances don't pay for the kind of expenses my truck had. Charlie said insurances don't pay for a new battery.

Alice warned me about Edward being _unstable_ and yet she told me that he paid so much money and the truck eventually made it to Charlie's house yesterday evening.

His heart may be a rock, but his actions did not match to that statement. _Because _if Alice never told me about the money, I would have never know. And where would have that led me? Believing the insurance paid.

_Believing _the insurance paid. I bolted upward on the couch.

_Did Edward do that too?_

Did he pay possibly even more money to have that letter get written?

"Why, why, why _damnit_, why?" I asked to the empty house.

It was still early, just a few minutes had passed, but I decided to cook something with rice and vegetables. That usually took an hour to finish and by that time, Charlie would be home. And cooking was a lot more relaxing then making homework or thinking about what exactly Edward had running trough his head.

However, there was a certain boy out there, waiting for my text, so I dug out my phone from my pocket and saved Jacob's number in my cell phonebook. And I wrote a quick reply.

_Back home, thanks to you, thank you very much, and for this morning :D Hello Kitty is thanking you as well... Bella_

After tripping twice, burning my thumb, sneezing five times and mixing all ingredients into one pan, dinner was ready. The beginning of a cold was settling but that wasn't a big surprise after the walk in the rain yesterday and this cold weather in general.

"Not enough money..." I mumbled as I remembered.

I told Edward I didn't have enough money to get that truck fixed. Then, in the same evening he said I make him suicidal, he paid for my truck. And suddenly, he's demanding the money back.

Now that I thought back, he said in front of his siblings and friends that _how many more times _was he supposed to tell me that I had to pay him back... As if he'd told me before, which he hadn't.

He was feigning it, wasn't he? And the reason was probably related to Rosalie, Tanya, Lauren and Jessica and the fact that yesterday morning they weren't in English, Trig and Spanish class and Edward wasn't in Biology class.

But if that were true, if he's feigning it, then it wouldn't make sense for him to say that he'd actually paid more money under the table, because when he said that, nobody was around, except him and me.

My phone buzzed and I walked over to my phone, which I had left on the kitchen table.

_Hey, it was no trouble and if you or Hello Kitty need any help, let me know ;) _

I smiled like a goof at my phone.

Through the kitchen window, I saw Charlie's cruiser appear. I grabbed two plates and put a lot of the food on them. I brought them to the living room and put them on the table there.

"It smells delicious in here," Charlie said when he walked in.

"I cooked," I said as I walked back to the kitchen.

"What did you make?"

"I don't know. They're actually three recipes combined so it doesn't have a real name. I put the plates in the living room. I thought we could eat while we watch the game."

"You want to watch the game with me?" he asked with a scowl, stepping into the kitchen. "Again?"

I shrugged. "They're not half that bad."

That wasn't even a lie. I didn't hate the games. But I enjoyed sitting next to a person that didn't detest me or have hidden purposes. He was simply Charlie, my dad.

I grabbed a glass and filled it with milk for myself. For Charlie I grabbed a bottle of beer. I opened the cap for him and walked to the living room.

"Is beer okay?"

"Beer's fine."

I handed it to him and grabbed the remote control.

For the second time this week, we watched the game. And again, I slept on the couch instead of my bed.

Following morning I felt better. I ran upstairs and went straight into the shower. Maybe I'd go to the administration lady today, and give her my ID. It would be so much easier if the truth was in the open. No more lies and no more panic. And maybe with Jake there to help me, things would turn out fine. But when I stood before her door, I couldn't find it in me to knock and give her my ID. So instead I walked on to English lesson.

But before I got there, I saw Edward with his shoulder against the wall. He had his back on me, but most of the people that surrounded him had their faces in my direction. It was always the same group that accompanied each other, only today, Rosalie stood next to Emmett and it was Jessica who tried to get Edward's attention, instead of Tanya.

I walked up to them and pulled out the big wad of money out of my bag.

"Here," I said, handing him the nine banknotes.

He pushed himself off the wall when he saw me, but then his eyes landed on my hand.

"Fuck me," he said.

_"Excuse me? Could you help me? I need to take six hundred and eighty dollars of my account. And _quick_."_

_The man at the bank watched me strangely. It was exactly eight o'clock in the morning and I was their first and only customer._

No, that doesn't sound peculiar at all, Bella!

_I quickly tried to compose some of the damage of sounding like a criminal._

_"Well, the thing is, I first need to deposit two hundred fifty dollars from my saving account to my normal account."_

_The man behind the desk finally moved and asked for my ID and bank card._

_It took him fifteen minutes, but he gave me six hundred dollar bills, a fifty dollar bill, a twenty dollar bill and a ten dollar bill._

_"There you have six hundred and eighty dollars," he said. "If you could put your signature here." He showed me one of those fancy, electronic machines and I put a mismatched signature._

_"Okay, I got to go," I said quickly. I had ten minutes to reach school, but luckily, the bank was just a few minutes away from Fork's high._

He just stared at it. _Take it._

"It's all there," I said.

When I looked sideways, Rosalie's eyes were wide. Tanya blanched, as if the money was something foul and Jessica even took a step away from me. Lauren had her back on the wall, but her face was in shock as well. Emmett and Jasper gave each other a glance and I swore they seemed regretful and Alice was on the verge of hyperventilating, or something.

It was really awkward to have those nine bank notes in my hand, holding them up to Edward, while he didn't take it.

"You loaned me the money," I told him, shifting my eyes uncomfortable. Did he need to act as if he had forgotten about the fact that he'd paid for my truck?

_I thought this is what you wanted, _I tried to tell him with my eyes.

My mind was screaming for him to take it, but I was a very patient person and could stand there for a long time with the money.

"Remember?" I asked, maybe slightly pushing his buttons.

For a second, Edward dropped his eyes, but pushed himself a step more in my direction and grabbed the money out of my hand.

I was glad his hand was on the money, because I could finally let go of the money and drop my arm. The only problem was that he had placed his hand around the money _and _my hand.

"Took you long enough," he said.

I gaped at him, but his face gave nothing away. And I decided to give up, because this was simply hopeless. He had the money. I no longer owed him anything. I breathed out harshly and tried to relax my muscles.

With a shrug, I said, "Sorry."

_Probably violating one of his rules about sorry, and I didn't care._

Alice turned on her heels and left. Jasper followed her, but remained on a distance and Emmett watched Rosalie with troubled eyes.

"Don't give me that look," Rosalie snapped. She too left and Emmett followed close behind her.

Now it was just Tanya, Lauren, Jessica and Edward.

"Let go of my hand," I muttered through my teeth.

Edward glared, but did as I told him and finally, the money was his. Glad he finally grabbed the money, I dropped my hand and instantly turned to go to English class. When _again _the four girls were not in class, I assumed that was their thing. Maybe they skipped their classes often. It was really weird not to see Alice at Art class and even the teacher looked with a scowl at the empty space beside me. Even though I knew they weren't going to enter in Trig class, I still was nervous that they'd suddenly enter the room. But they never did.

I walked into the cafeteria with strange confidence. But it was _there_. How ever I had gained this confidence was unimportant. What I knew was that this did make me feel pretty good about myself.

In the cafeteria, Jasper and Alice were sitting by themselves, as were Emmett and Rosalie. Tanya and Lauren were gossiping and I widened my eyes when I saw that Jessica was talking to Mike with her eyes downcast.

_Strange, weird, abnormal school._

"I will kill you," Tanya said, appearing out of thin air.

I stared at her and scowled her sudden declaration. But her eyes flashed to something behind me, she smiled sweetly, and then she brought her angry eyes back at me.

"Be prepared," she said as her sort of goodbye. She looked behind me again. "Edward." She nodded and left.

"Do you have a sec?"

And Edward just entered the cafeteria as well. I turned to look at him, just to make sure he was talking to me.

"I know what I'm saying now is in contradiction to what I said Monday after school."

The words he said Monday after school were for me to _fuck off _and _piss off _and that he couldn't stand a girl like me. Monday he had called me a trouble, he told me to go back to Phoenix because I'd never fit in here.

"Like I said, you won't be in the competition today. But the gym teacher doesn't know I told you. So you have to pretend you don't know yet whether you'll be in the competition or not. So you have to wear your clothes, just to feign the illusion that you really don't know."

It was Wednesday already! I had forgotten that on Wednesday the boxing competition would be. I nodded at Edward, letting him know I understood. I was about to walk away.

"You don't even ask me," he said.

Without looking up, I asked, "Ask you what?"

"Why I'm horrible to you."

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

_Edward Cullen _admitted he was being horrible?

"Eight people try to keep you on a distance from me. They succeeded, with the exception of one."

"I... don't understand," I said confusedly.

"You're not meant to understand it," he said. "But don't you think that if seven people succeed, that you should stay away from me?"

"I suppose?" I said carefully.

"Great. And also, I dropped Bio."

I blanched. "You dropped Biology?"

"Yes," he said curtly.

I looked around, at the floor and walls and passing students, but not at him. He dropped Biology, because he couldn't stand to be near me. Hiding my shock from this knowledge wasn't possible.

_I got your message._

"I'll stay out of your way," I mumbled in conclusion.


	10. On the edge

**Disclaimer: Not my characters.**

**_A/N:_ **Hello everybody, thank you for the reviews, I enjoyed reading them. I'm feeling happy! Here's another chapter where all has gone on the edge.

Enjoy reading!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 10 - On the edge<em>**

There's that funny feeling, which doesn't have a real name to it, but it's a combination of two feelings.

The first is when everything is clear and finally you've got peace. In this case, I knew that Edward simply couldn't stand me any longer. So I knew I had to stay away from him. He told me, without a double meaning to it. That's the end of it. I just had to stay away from him.

However, the second feeling is confusion, because it brings the questions. Why did he hate me? What happened? Did I say something wrong? Did I do something offensive? Perhaps he knew I was Bella Swan and hated me for lying to him.

There's that funny feeling, where you think you've got peace, but really, all you've got is a bunch of unanswered question.

It's a very funny feeling indeed.

My appetite was lost and even though I knew getting _some _food in my system was important, I still couldn't find it in me to force something down.

_I'll have a bigger dinner tonight to compensate._

As I slowly reached the classroom, I was the first to arrive, with Mr. Banner already inside, looking at his computer screen in absolute horror and confusion. He looked up and noticed me.

"Did Edward tell you?"

I stared at Mr. Banner as he suddenly addressed to me. Nobody else was yet inside the room, but it was still ten minutes until class started.

"Did Edward tell me what?" I asked.

"_'I am no longer interested in the subject and therefor will be finding another subject to entertain myself with'_." Mr. Banner read from off the computer screen. "What is this for nonsense? Why would he suddenly choose to drop _this _subject, from which I in fact know is the only class he attends with you. Do you know why he dropped Biology? Did you two get into a fight?"

I dropped my eyes to the ground and sighed. "I don't know."

"You see, I do not understand why that boy would drop the subject he excels in. It's the subject he enjoys the most. I know you think he hates being here, and he mocks me constantly, but never in my life have I had a student with higher grades then Edward."

I flinched. Biology was Edward's best subject? And I quite knew why he dropped it. So he'd be able to stay away from me. He couldn't even stand it to have me around him. Where was this whole thing leading to?

"Rebecca, are you sure you don't know anything about Edward's reasons?"

"Not really," I answered. Which was true. I knew he wanted me to stay away from him, but why?

_ I have no idea._

"I know this will sound silly, but I believe he switched because of you."

For a moment, I stared at him for making that conclusion.

_Because what did I do, dammit?_

"Me?"

Mr. Banner shrugged. "It's a guess. But a logical one, if you ask me. Would you mind confronting him about this? Put me into the subject if you must, and tell him that I requested that you ask him why he switched. Would you do that?"

I watched him with a troubled face. "He isn't a fan of me... I-I swear sometimes I believe he hates me."

"Hate? Don't be silly, Edward doesn't hate you."

What did this man know about Edward?

"Please try, Rebecca."

"I can try," I muttered.

"That's great!" he said cheerfully. "You are excused from class."

"_Now_?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, of course," he said quickly. "And please try your best to find out. If anyone can, it's really you."

As I was excused from class, the break was over and students entered the classroom. I waited - just to be sure - until all of the arrived, but there was no sign from Edward. So he really did drop Biology.

I closed the door behind me quietly and decided the cafeteria would be the first place for me to check. I glanced around, but nobody was in sight.

_Great._

Where could he possible be?

Studying in the study area?

Making out with girls in empty classrooms?

_Well, isn't that a strange mental picture..._

A safe bet was outside. He did smoke, after all.

I left the cafeteria behind me and started going to the entrance. If he wasn't outside, I truly didn't know where else he could be. I could always check if his car was still in the parking lot, that could tell me at least _something _about his whereabouts.

Luckily for me, I spotted him from a distance. He stood outside, but still close enough to the entrance so that he remained sheltered from the pouring rain.

Quietly, I opened the door and he quickly turned his head, dropping his eyes down to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked angrily.

I closed the door behind me and leaned against it with my back.

_I'm so tired of this._

In the spur of the moment, I told him something entirely different then what I was supposed to ask him.

"I came here to tell you that you shouldn't drop Biology. Go back to class, retake the class and..." I dropped my eyes. "And instead, I will drop Biology."

"You are _really _getting on my nerves. Can't you simply do what I'm asking you to do?"

"I really wish it was that simple."

Edward seemed to be waiting for a bigger explanation, but I was done.

I couldn't give Edward what he was asking me to do, because the truth was, I didn't know what he wanted anymore. His mind kept changing. His mood was always different. I never knew what to expect.

"You used to be able to stand up for yourself."

I scowled and resisted the urge to turn my head to see if perhaps he was talking to some other person behind me.

"_Me_?" I asked instead. "Well, I know what I did yesterday with Tanya was a little overboard."

"I wasn't talking about yesterday."

I stopped breathing and watched him as he casually took out a cigarette and light it on. He offered me one as well, but I could barely move. He shrugged and put the rest back in his coat's pocket.

The air of his cigarette hit my nose.

"Then what were you talking about?" I asked.

"Nothing at all," he muttered. He came to lean beside me and his fingers touched my forehead where Tanya's fist or ring or whatever it was had teared my skin open. "You've got a little bump. Does it still hurt?"

I was numbed into silence as his cold fingers touched the my forehead.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

"Why am I not meant to understand?" I asked instead. "About what you said during lunch break."

"You're curious," he said instead.

"Why am I not meant to understand why I should stay away from you?" I repeated with more clarification.

"Because if for a moment you could stop lying to yourself about your identity, you could figure that answer out for yourself," he said in a force, calm, cold voice.

I tensed beside him and he pushed himself off the door and came to stand right in front of me. I looked up, and I believe I was gaping at him. I believe that he already knew that I was not Rebecca Dwyer.

"Did you know that sometimes people hurt other people, just to take away their own pain?"

I slowly nodded.

"And then there are people who make their pain bigger then it really is."

I scowled at this declaration.

"I believe you've been hurt, but I don't believe it's as big as you make it out to be. You want to know what happened to me? Would you like to know what my sick biological parents did to me once I was born?"

I was shaking my head all the time. I wanted to turn around and get back inside, but I couldn't let Edward get away with what he just said to me.

"If you really knew what happened to me, you wouldn't have said that." I sighed hard. "To me, this isn't some comparing game. Maybe you have suffered too, but that doesn't take away my pain, however little it seems in your eyes. I'm sorry for your pain, but at least you have your parents who adopted you and a few very valuable people in your life that would save your ass if you were ever in trouble. They would come and pick you up if you called them in the middle of the night to say you are stranded in Timbuktu! If you went missing... dozens of people would know it, probably within an hour. I sometimes wonder, if I went missing. Would anyone notice?"

To see Edward taken aback was a shock to say the least. "Your parents-"

"No," I snapped angrily before he could finish that sentence. "My mom is selfish and my dad is blind. They are my parents, and I have _some _connection with them, but that connection is not complete. It has little value."

"You told me about that friend of yours, the one that calls you a beaver?"

_Oh, yeah, I did..._

"I suppose so, but that friend that calls me beaver is also the one who told me I don't connect easily with people."

"Why?"

"I asked him the same question." I nodded, remembering that day as if it were yesterday.

"What he say?"

Before I answered Edward, I looked at the ground. "He told me that I had built a wall around me that reached too high for anyone to climb, even him. He told me it would someday kill me, unless... Unless I found the reason for building that wall and made some peace with it."

"Did you make peace?"

Now I did look up. "It's not... I can't... That's not possible. If you knew what... What happened..." I sighed and instead turned my head and hoped he'd ignore what I failed miserably to explain.

Edward threw his cigarette in a muddy pool behind him and watched me intensely.

"What?"

"I don't care what others say anymore," he said with still a look of intensity in his eyes. "I take back my words."

"Which ones exactly?"

"Us not being friends."

I scowled hard. "I don't remember you ever saying that."

He rolled his eyes. "It's what I pretty much implied, when I told you to stay away from me."

I looked to the sideways, thinking about what this meant.

_It means he's got another mood swing._

Whatever he told me today, would not be valid anymore by tomorrow. And besides, me being friends with Edward?

_Never going to happen._

"But you don't believe me," Edward stated as I raised my eyes to him. He steered his head and seemed wounded.

"You've told me to stay away from you. Not even one hour ago. And Monday you told me what you think of me. You said I'm some attention seeking bitch. And yesterday I was a slut? And now, what, we should be friends? Am I supposed to understand this, because I really don't."

"I lied."

"I remember every word you told me."

"Erase them from your mind."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I can't trust you!"

The fact that he was asking me these questions confirmed to me that he still didn't know I was Bella Swan. Why else would he ask me?

"Hmm, it all comes down to trust?" he muttered. "Is there any way I could earn your trust, even if it's just a little bit?"

"Jacob Black," I said in an unwavering voice. "What is it with you two?"

"If I tell you about Jacob Black, I could earn your trust?"

I shook my head. "If you want my trust, you'll have to be honest with me."

He gave me a crooked smile and nodded. I stared at him with straight lips."Okay then, if that's what it takes. By the end of this night, I'll tell you everything that I know. Does that sound good to you?"

"Why... Why by the end of this night?"

"Because I've got a lot to tell you, brown eyes."

He glanced at his watch.

"We should go to the gym for that competition. How about I pick you up this evening around six and we'll have dinner?"

_Not dinner!_

_I've still got questions!_

_Why again are we going to do this?_

"Great," he said, taking my silence as a yes.

_I never said yes!_

.

.

.

.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I entered the gymnasium. It was stuffed with students and nearly impossible to make it from one side to the other. I recognized nobody and instead tried to find the Coach.

There were two boxing rings, and I noticed that one was for the boys and one was for the girls. They had begun the warming ups and finally I found a familiar face.

It was him however who waved at me with a smile.

"Hi, there!" Jasper called, patting the seat beside him.

"Hey," I said. "Pretty stuffed here, huh?"

"Yeah, I still remember my first time. But it's an exciting sport and eventually everybody is curious as to what their grade is. Are you excited?"

"Well... Edward told me he already gave the Coach a form which says he doesn't give consent for me to compete. But I'm not supposed to tell this to anybody, I think."

Jasper raised his eyebrows. "Edward did that?"

I nodded.

"He also didn't think you could compete with somebody on the same level as you?"

I laughed. "I don't think anybody here has the same level as me."

"You are not that bad," Jasper kindly replied. "Edward has taught you well. Even thought, sometimes I did wonder, was he teaching you how to box or was he rather giving you some self defense lessons?"

"Jasper Cullen!" the Coach suddenly roared. "I've been calling you for ages now! Get in that ring!"

Jasper laughed at the Coach and gave me a nod as he stepped toward the ring. I noticed Edward, by accident, talking to Emmett.

As I was staring at the two, I was suddenly staring into both their eyes as they both looked at me, as if they had know all along that I was looking. I gave a small smile to the both of them and then diverted my eyes.

Two girls were warming up in the other boxing ring as the Coach gave Jasper a B- merely because he hadn't responded to her the first time.

"Hey!" I called to Jasper, walking up to him with disappointing eyes. "I'm sorry she graded you lower, maybe if we hadn't been talking-"

He already held up his hand. "No, no, it had nothing to do with you. The Coach is like that. It could have happened to anyone. Besides, the only one getting an straight A today is Edward on the boy's team and Tanya on the girl's team."

I nodded. "Are they like a thing?"

Jasper glanced behind me and I did too, noticing Tanya, as always, looking beautiful.

"They once were, but then Edward found something that has more value to him and forgot about Tanya."

"Really? What's that?"

"Rebecca!" the Coach barked and I jumped.

Jasper laughed and mumbled, before walking away, "There, the Coach already answered for me."

"Yes?" I said, approaching her and seeing her with a big smile on her face.

_That's strange, seeing her smile. And why did Jasper say that?_

"Alright," she said, looking at her paper. "This fight will be very interesting, especially because I've never seen you fight before, but apparently, you're even _better _then Tanya. You've lost your space, haven't ya?"

The Coach looked at Tanya and I looked at her too. However, Tanya didn't seem affected by her comment.

"Well, Rebecca! I'm very curious to see your skills. You can start your warming up with Tanya and I shall return in a few minutes."

Clearly I heard her wrong.

There was a mistake.

_It's a mistake._

"Wait!" I said, trying to get through the crowd to reach her.

Damn all these people making it impossible to see a single person through the thick crowd!

"Wait, Coach. Please!" Fortunately she did stop.

"Come on, hurry now," she said, looking at me impatiently.

"Edward said he didn't give me permission to fight anyone," I started.

"He gave you the permission and actually recommended for you to fight with Tanya, the best boxer of all the girls. I'm impressed, honestly, so get your warming-up, because I'm really curious to see you box with Tanya."

"I swear, Coach, I'm not at all good at boxing! This will not end well!" This won't even happen.

"Come, come, Rebecca, don't be modest now. I'll get back in a few minutes after I grade Edward and Emmett.

I gaped after her as she left to the boy's ring.

I couldn't do this. I knew _nothing_. This was mission impossible.

_I cannot box. Even Edward said so _to me_. However..._

Edward lied to me.

Apparently he said to the Coach that I _can _box and well too. Did he want me bruised and hurt? That would happen if I entered the ring where Tanya already stood, waiting for her competitor.

Waiting for me.

"Aren't you coming?" Tanya said loudly.

_Me._

She had a look in her eye, which I couldn't understand. It was as if she was glad I was her competitor.

"Edward's wrong," I told her.

Perhaps I could negotiate this with Tanya.

_Very cute, Bella. You're very naive for thinking that._

"Yeah, I know," she said. "Because I'm going to kick your ass."

The younger crowd cheered, because they were obviously curious to see this fight. I found myself being pushed toward the ring, and suddenly, I was bending to get under the elastic. Then I was in the ring.

"Don't push me!" I yelled to the little brats who dared to push me, but after one glance back at the crowd, I had no idea who it had been. There were simply too many faces.

Before I had a chance to even lift my arms, Tanya punched my shoulders and upper arms and I fell down on my behind.

"What the hell?"

"Better then _her_?"

I didn't hear much after that, but the crowd was wondering how _I_ had gotten the honor of being the best boxer, while Tanya was obviously better.

I pushed myself up and this time I was prepared. I had my arms up to protect at least my head, but her fist went down, to my sides and stomach. Automatically, my arms went down, but then her fist collided with my cheek and I twisted and fell on the ground.

_That hurt._

My cheek was throbbing, but that wasn't the only thing that hurt. Already I felt sore around my abdomen and sides.

"Tanya," I said, my voice labored. "You win."

She didn't even answer me, she just huffed and was barely out of breath. But I saw something in her eyes that she had also carried in her eyes nine years ago.

_Anger._

Something was wrong with me, but I got up anyway, and this time, when for a second, I didn't feel her fist, I tried to hit her, but she blocked me and hit me on my stomach, shoulder, side, then my arm. She was too fast for me to keep up.

And I was angry, because how could Edward do this to me? First, he seemed kind, almost human, and then this?

_How could I be so stupid?_

I ran toward Tanya and ducked when her fist was about the hit me, and for the first time, hit her on the stomach.

"Take that, _bitch_," I hissed.

This wasn't boxing anymore, this was a fight.

However, what happened next caused a lot of screaming from the crowd. Tanya was extremely quick and strong, and she took off her gloves - an item I never even got the chance to put on - and she held my shoulder and punched repeatedly on my head, leaving me no room to get out of her grip. And man, she was strong, both at holding me and punching.

I tried to escape her grasp, I tried to punch her back, I tried to use my legs, and I even considered using my teeth, but none of those worked and soon I couldn't take much more of it. I lost strength to fight back. I started breathing heavier. And if that monster didn't stop soon enough, she'd have me unconscious. Surely, she couldn't actually want that?

I felt blood run down my face, coming out of my nose and mouth. My skin felt hot from the punches.

"_Enough_!" a girl's voice called.

_Thank you!_

"No more!" another girl screamed.

_Well, I'm glad you agree too._

"Let her go, Tanya!" a familiar sounding girl's voice yelled.

"Unfair!"

"Fire! There's fire!"

And eventually I heard people scream. Just like that. They randomly started screaming.

"What on earth is everybody yelling about?" the Coach asked loudly.

Finally, Tanya let me go and I dropped face down.

I kept my eyes closed and I felt something nudge my side.

"Oh, she's such a wimp," Tanya said in a laugh. "I barely touched her."

"Tanya, you crossed the line!" Angela screamed. "Is she alright? Rebecca? Rebecca!"

Her voice sounded far away.

"OH MY GOD!" Alice screamed, and the entire gymnasium shut up after that declaration. "Why is there so much blood?"

"Everybody, stay where you are! Angela, back down! EVERYBODY BACK DOWN! This is boxing, after all. And sometimes people do get hit knocked out."

"She's bleeding!" Angela said angrily. "You should have seen Tanya! YOU. SHOULD. HAVE. STOPPED!"

"Oh, come on!" Tanya said angrily. "You don't know what you're talking about! This was a fair fight!"

"If so, then where are your and this girl's head and hand protection?" the Coach asked. "That's what I thought, now be quiet, Tanya."

Several hands touched me and I felt myself being pushed, so that I was lying on my back. Somebody held my head very still, forcing it not to move.

Everybody was eerily quiet. I much more preferred the yelling.

"Her nose is either severely bruised or broken," a voice said. Emmett's voice.

"Why the fuck did you do this to her, Edward? She told me that you said she wouldn't have to box."

"Somebody, get that nurse, right now!" the Coach called.

My head was pounding too hard to let people know that I wasn't fully unconscious, but I didn't feel very good either.

"She told you the fucking truth, Jasper," Edward snapped.

"Then what the hell was she doing in this ring, fighting with Tanya?" he continued.

"I'd like to know that too," Edward said.

"Edward, you gave me this recommendation," the Coach said.

"She's been unconscious for too long, better call an ambulance," Edward said. "What recommendation?"

"I said I want that nurse!" the Coach yelled. "Where is she? Hello? Yes, I'd like an ambulance quickly at Forks High school, there's been an accident, involving Rebbecca Dwyer who's got no consciousnesses and blood loss, possibly a broken nose..."

"Tanya!" Edward said. "What the fuck were you thinking? I warned you about this, remember? Yet you did it anyway."

"SHUT UP!" the Coach roared. "I'm talking on the phone!"

A girl laughed. "Sweetheart, don't be crazy. After all, it's _you_ who gave her permission to fight me. And she did darn well!" Her voice was sarcastic, but with her whole being, Tanya was plain sadistic.

A silence fell. I heard nothing for a long while, when suddenly the laugh was replaced by a petrified scream.

"Edward, no!" Now I heard Alice.

"Let her go, man!" Emmett said. "Jasper, hold her head." The hands on my head got replaced.

"Calm yourself," Jasper called. "She's a girl."

"Edward, walk away," Emmett said, his voice coming from a distance. "Walk away, man."

"I've got to hang up, the situation here is getting out of hand," the Coach said.

"Fuck you," Edward cursed. "I never thought you'd stoop this low."

"Edward, this is on you," the Coach said. "You're judgment has lacked badly. Why do you think we work with consent forms? I thought I could trust you, Edward, with your judgement."

Tanya actually laughed, but stopped abruptly.

"And Tanya, I'm not finished with you either! The way this girl is bruising tells me you were not just boxing. If you want to pick a fight, why don't you find somebody your own size? This is not acceptable, Tanya! No headgear, no gloves and ignoring the rules! You thick, fool! I'm going to have to report you to the police because of this."

Edward laughed. The sound was hard and with it came anger. "My _judgment_ was to not get her anywhere near this ring."

"What are you saying? I have your consent form right here."

Edward was quiet for a moment, then he said, "This fucking entire consent form is not mine! This is not the one I wrote, somebody must have switched it. Fuck! I told her she didn't have to be in the competition. _I told her. _What the fuck was she thinking? What the fuck is the matter with her?"

"Are you telling me something, Edward?" the Coach asked suspiciously. "And enough with the cursing."

He cleared his throat. "_Somebody _faked my signature. Fucking report it. Fucking do something with it."

_He obviously doesn't care about cursing so much._

"Alright, you heard him! You, there! Janis, is it? Call the chief of police. If we're going to do this, we'll do this right."

Everything inside me crumbled, but then all the crumbled pieces got mashed together into a horrible pain in my chest.

_The chief of police._

Being knock-out would have been better then this semi-consciousness.

"I think she needs to see a doctor, soon," Jasper said.

_Oh God. Dear God. Please no. Not the chief of police. _Anyone _but him. And not a doctor. With my luck, they'd bring me to the best of the best... while I knew the best of the best was Dr. Carlisle Cullen._

"Coach! We can't find the nurse anywhere!"

She actually groaned. "That ambulance better hurry up," she said angrily. "I don't like this at all."

Everybody would know after this day. It would be a big town's joke when the chief of police couldn't find a person with the name Rebecca Dwyer and it would get nasty when Charlie found out I lied and he had to find out like this.

"Hey," Jasper said softly. "I think she's coming around."

Slowly, I blinked my eyes open, but they felt so heavy. And my head was pounding. My sight was blurry, and I needed a moment to get a clear vision. I brought my hands to my head and blinked until I could see who were sitting around me.

Jasper sat behind my head, holding my head still. Emmett was hunching on my left side, trying to gauge my reaction, and Edward, being on my right side, was looking with so many emotions in his eyes.

_Disbelief, frustration, anger, sorrow and guilt._

"How are you feeling, young lady?" the Coach asked, towering above me and standing next to Emmett.

"I'm fine," I said.

"You could have a concussion," Jasper said, and I looked up at him.

"I'm sure I don't," I said. "If I did, I'd feel nauseated and I'd throw up."

I pushed myself up, and there it was. In just a matter of a seconds I was so sick to my stomach, and could not stop it.

I quickly grabbed my hair, pulled it up and threw some of the contents of my stomach, and in time pushed Edward away with my hand.

Since I hadn't eaten anything, there wasn't much for me to spit, but when I drops of blood beside me, I scowled at it.

_Did I just spit blood?_

"Ambulance is here!" some students called.

"Just in time!" the Coach said.

"How about I just take her?" Edward said.

_The humiliation of this event is just not possible to describe in words._

Before I knew it, Edward picked up my hand, put it around his neck and grabbed me beneath my knees and shoulder, and lifted me. I let my other hand rest on my stomach awkwardly, not wanting to put it around his shoulder. As he walked, the crowd made room for him, as if he was some God.

"For her sake, why don't ya'll stay here," he said and I didn't know how he did it, but everybody listened. "And Coach, if you call that police and report this shit? I'll be back quick."

I put my forehead on his chest, trying to hid my face away from all the watching eyes. I was _so _embarrassed.

Being the center of attention wasn't any fun, especially in a humiliating situation like this.

"I must give it to you. You pushed me mighty fast when you threw up."

"My head... hurts! I can't believe I threw up."

"We all have a vomit story," Edward said with a chuckle. "The doc's will give you good painkillers."

He pushed the door to the boy's changing room open and we got inside, but once we left the crowd, he stopped walking. He looked down at me and shook his head.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," he said.

"Why did you say to the Coach I could box with Tanya?"

He pressed his lips on each other. "I know my actions have messed up your rational thoughts," he said slowly. "But I never meant this kind of harm on you. I did not fill in that form the Coach got handed. Tanya faked my signature so she could do this to you."

His eyes ran over every part of my face and I watched him with tired eyes.

"It takes some really hard blows to created this much damage. She didn't fight fair, did she?"

"Whatever. I'll just go back to Phoenix. Like you told me to."

"I didn't mean those words," Edward said quietly.

"Sure you did," I said, staring at his chest.

"I told you to forget those words," he said with a little more despair lacing his voice.

"Nonetheless. I've got nothing anymore here in Forks. It's the place where..." _my childhood was taken from me_. "Until this very day, it still remains a horror place to me. I'm leaving. First thing tomorrow."

"Fuck," he cursed, slowly walking toward the entrance again. "At least have dinner with me? I'll drive you back home without protest afterwards."

"No."

"Just for one last time? After that, if you wish, I'll never bother you again."

"No, dinner takes too long."

"Then coffee? When was the last time you drank a Starbucks coffee? I know where to find one."

I looked up surprised and he watched me with so much anticipation. I didn't understand this sudden urge he had to spend time with me, but then again, there wasn't much I did understand about him.

"One Starbucks coffee. After you finish yours, I'll drive you back home. But please, at least give me that."

_But he wants this and a Starbucks coffee can change my mood a lot. He gets his way for the last time, and I get my coffee._

"Perhaps I can give you something that will make Forks less of a horror place?"

I stared into the distance, noticing the ambulance outside.

"At least," he began and I turned my head to those yet again piercing green eyes, "if you do decide to go back to Phoenix, you'll be able to say that you heard me out. At least give yourself that."

I scowled hard at his non-stopping trying. "Alright. Just one coffee."

"Alright," he said with a careful smile. "If you give me your number, I'll call you and let you know what time I'll come."

I told him number. "But don't call. Just text. Shouldn't you write it down?" I hated when people called me.

"No, I'll remember," he said quickly dismissing it.

We reached the entrance and he looked down at me one more time.

"I would join you, but there are a few things I need to do here."

"I wasn't expecting you to join me, or anything," I said with a scowl. "Good luck with the things."

He smiled with force. "I'll see you tonight, brown eyes." He put me inside the ambulance on the bed there and instantly turned and went back inside the chaos where I'd just been.


	11. Losing everything

**Disclaimer: **Not my characters.

**_A/N: _**Can't believe the last update was that long ago. I'm sorry for all the people who had to wait for this chapter. I'm doing my very best to update regularly.

I can already say that you should be prepared for a cliff hanger, but I can also say that the next chapter shouldn't take too long.

Enjoy reading!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 11 - Losing everything<em>**

_"Hello, my name is Charlotte and this is Brian, could you tell us your name?"_

_"And how old are you?"_

_"What year are you in?"_

_"Do you have a job, Bella?"_

_"Slowly breathe in, slowly breathe out."_

The questions never ended and I was slow at responding, but nevertheless, I answered truthfully.

At the hospital I was quite surprised it was not Dr. Carlisle Cullen who treated me. A doctor named Finn Wyatt continued asking me questions in the hospital. He was quite older then any doctor I had ever seen. His graying, slightly too long hair kind of reminded me of Albert Einstein.

As I finally sat in a hospital bed, waiting, I glanced through the window at the passing cars in the distance. The sky was grey, just like my mood, and the rain was pouring hard, creating a sad melody. A nurse had taken blood samples of me, made a picture of my abdomen and head, given me a tetanus shot and brought me to this room to wait for the results. I had a broken nose and they'd asked me if I wanted an extra protection on my nose to keep it from moving. Of course I said no.

After all the beating, bruises and broken nose, one would think I would be in immense pain, but I was not. I rather felt light headed, calm and maybe even giggly. I wasn't sure what the nurse had given me, but it was better then any painkillers I had ever taken.

"Isabella." I looked at the entrance of the room, where Dr. Einstein was standing now. He took a seat by the chair next to me and started with a smile. "I have looked at your scans and your blood results. I'm pleased to inform you that all the scans are good. As for your nose, it should take three till four weeks to heal the break. We gave you a tetanus shot, just as precaution. And very high pain medication. These should work up to six till eight hours. I've got some medication for you. You can take one right before you go to sleep. Then you can take three per day, for seven days, if necessary. These are very strong pain killers."

I nodded. That didn't sound bad overall.

"However, you did throw up." The doctor stood up. "Do you mind if I take a quick look at your head?"

"Oh, no, go ahead," I stammered, sitting up more straight.

He approached me and pressed his fingers in my neck and slowly made his way up. I felt some tenderness due to Tanya's horrible attacks, but it was something entirely else which made me wince. The doctor pressed his fingers on top of my head. The pain shot right through my body and the doctor did notice.

"There's a bump there and if I look closely, even some bruising. However, it's not a recent bruise or bump."

I scowled as I wondered how on earth I had a bump on top of my head. I reached for it and softly touched my head, finding the soar spot.

"Do you remember when and how that happened?"

"No."

Just as I said the word, I remembered how last week, Tanya's gang had pushed me in the hallway of the gymnasium. Because of her, I hit my head against the wall. And after the fall, Edward had opened the door and, accidentally, dropped the door which automatically closed and hit me on top of my head.

Eventually I nodded my head to the doctor. "Yes, I do, actually. I fell." It was easier for everyone if I described last weeks situation as short as possible.

"Do you remember how many days ago it was when you hit your head?"

"Last Wednesday, I think... Yes, it was Wednesday."

The doctor watched me for a short while without saying anything and I scowled.

"What?" I blurted.

He blinked and apologized. When a doctor apologizes, you can expect some pretty bad news. "Isabella, today after the fight, you threw up, but were not unconscious. When we speak of an concussion, the person usually is unconscious first, and then throws up. Do you remember if last week, you were unconscious, however briefly it may have been?"

"No, I don't think I was. I would have remembered that, right? I just remember that it hurt. I fell with my head on my wall, and then somebody _accidentally _let go of a door which automatically closed and hit the top of head."

"Well, unconscious or not, you do have a brain concussion right now, but I can also say that this concussion was not caused by what happened to you a few hours ago. You've been walking around with a concussion for eight days now and the fact that today you received so many blows, made the concussion worse. And that's why you threw up."

_I have a concussion? And it just got worse?_

"How come I didn't know I have a concussion?"

"Well, maybe you did experience a few of the symptoms, but didn't realize it's a concussion. Have you not experienced any tiredness, blurry visions, headaches, feelings of fear, aggravation, sensitivity to sounds and light or difficulty with concentrating?"

I believed that way I was looking at him answered his question. I remembered sleeping till noon last weekend and the headache I had on Monday. The symptoms seemed small, but combined together they formed another picture.

"Alright, so I have a concussion, but it will go away after a while, right?"

"Most definitely, it will go away, but your concussion is more severe, which means you need more rest to give your head time to heal."

"Okay, I'll rest. For how long?"

"It could take six up to twelve months until the symptoms disappear completely. Here's my professional opinion as to how you should take your rest. For the first month, do not attend school. Do not exercise excessively."

I opened my mouth, but Dr. Einstein held up his hand.

"After a month, you can attend some of your lessens, but for no more then two hours per day. After another month your can add another two hours. And so on."

I shook my head. "I can't stay home for a month, that would mean I wouldn't even graduate this year!"

The doctor nodded slowly. "I believe it is in your own best interest to not attend school the first month. Going to school requires concentration, having long days of studying and perhaps some more studying in the evening. That strain will be too much for your brain-"

"But-"

"-to handle, and _that_ could cause you even more, and perhaps permanent, damage."

"I can't stay home for a month..." I shook my head. "I can't."

"I'm really sorry." The doctor stood up. "One of your friends brought us your schoolbag and coat. She's waiting downstairs. I could send her to your room."

"I don't want any visitors. Just bring me my bag and coat. When can I leave?"

"You are a minor, which means I cannot let you leave until one of your parents has first come here. I understood that Chief Swan is your father. He is on his way."

The joys of living in a small town. Everybody knew each other.

.

.

.

One over worried father? Check.

Angry? Check.

All I wanted was to lie in bed all day long. I was tired, humiliated, and most off all hurt.

But Charlie wouldn't leave me alone.

"What happened? Why won't you say what happened?"

I shrugged, as I sat on the couch and stared at the television screen. It was off though.

"The doctors told me that something went wrong during your PE lesson. I'm not blind. Your lips are swollen and dark red on the sides. You've got bruises on mostly that side of your face." He pointed toward my left cheek. "Your eyes are bruised, your cheek is bruised, even your eyebrow is bruised. And the doctor said your nose is broken."

Nice notice, daddy. Very nice.

"Bella, I know you were a bully victim! And it seems to me you still are."

"What?" I gasped, getting of the couch and staring at him with wide eyes.

"After I sent you to you mother, after I thought that I could not handle you, I saw a commercial about children being bullied. And each one of those symptoms, you had as well! And that's when I knew and I went looking for the ones who hurt you."

My body was rigid and my breathing was shallow. I was yet in the denial phase, for how could he have known something like that, without ever telling me? It couldn't be real.

"One day I was at the Cullen's home and I had a conversation with Esme and Carlisle about you. Carlisle, being a doctor, knew instantly something was off and he asked his children. I remember Alice looking down, Rosalie looking at the wall, Jasper scowling hard, Edward staring me in the eyes with anger, but it was Emmett who opened his mouth. He instantly said that it was their fault that you were gone now. The fault of Edward's, Rosalie's, himself and some other abusive children. Emmett said that they always picked on you, that they hurt you, that they made you lie and do terrible things."

"You knew?" I screamed the moment his mouth shut.

I felt rage inside of me, a rage that I had never felt before. My own father knew all this time, and he never bothered to even tell me. He never picked up the phone to apologize or to say he knew it was never my fault.

All this time I thought that I had kept a lie so well. But it was _he _who had kept something from me.

"It took my exactly eighteen days to know that you were bullied and to find out who the bullies were. After I knew, I left the house without another word to the Cullen's. I took the next plane to Renée and I told her what I knew."

I felt sick. My stomach curled, but I forced it to calm down to hear the rest.

"Renée was very shocked and sad, but she said that since that you were in Phoenix, it would be better to not talk a word about it anymore and leave it to rest."

A hard, sarcastic laugh escaped from my mouth. "Are you kidding me? My voice reached high volumes, but I didn't care. "Leave it to rest?"

"Bells, your mother said that you were gone from the unhealthy environment and talking about it with you at such a young age would make things worse. She just wanted for you to forget it as soon as it was possible. She told me that you were doing fine and were happy."

"She said I was fine, and happy?" I said, my voice coming out in gasps. "I wasn't! I was scared all the time! I wasn't happy and fine until _years _later. I was just a kid. You were supposed to be there _for me_, not _them_. After you thought I smoked a cigarette, you weren't supposed to give up on me. You weren't supposed to send me away. I thought that at least I would have you in my life."

"But Bella, you do have me in your-"

"No!" I screamed. "Maybe I was a kid who knew nothing about life, but I knew enough about support and that day you stopped supporting me as your child. Don't deny it, please. You've lied to me enough already." Charlie's face went ashen, but I for one didn't care. "At least give me that." My voice shook, as did my lips.

His eyes went wide and he took a step in my direction, but I took three back and held up my hands.

"You should have ignored Renée and you should have told me that you knew. I deserved that. But instead, you made me believe, until this day, that you never knew. And Renée." I screamed it out, all in frustration. "She lied as well."

"Please, Bella, she didn't lie..."

"Withholding the truth is lying."

All this time.

All these years.

They knew that I had been bullied and both of them ignored that fact. If they had told me the truth, none of this mess would have ever happened. Maybe I could have had a real mother and a real father, and a place where I could really feel safe. Right now, I had none. With a few words, everything I ever thought I had, had been taken away from me. My mother, my father, my home, everything was gone. The ache in my heart was too big to handle this tremendous loss all of a sudden.

_I never saw this coming._

"I thought what I was doing was for the best."

"Your best sucked!"

"Bella, please... Why didn't you?"

I gave him an angry scowl, not understanding what he meant. "What?" I snapped.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? You must have thought about it, and you must have tried a thousand times."

I pressed my lips on each other as for the first time, I felt a really annoying sting in my eyes. I didn't want to cry right now.

"I thought about it and I tried, yes," I said softly. "But I couldn't. Because I got used to the bullying. I thought that's how people were meant to treat me. I didn't know any better, because nobody ever stood up for me. I never had any real friends. How the heck was I supposed to know their treatment toward me lacked badly?" I scowled sarcastically. "Just like how your and Renée's treatment lacked since the day you both decided to keep me living in my own hell."

"I'm so sorry-"

"If you really are, Charlie," I screamed from the top of my lungs, while grabbing my bag, taking my coat and keys, "you'll just shut up. Just leave me alone. I can't stay here."

As I turned my eyes away from his and walked toward the door, a hard pain crashed into my chest and it knocked the breath out of me. It was the realization that I didn't have a place anymore to call my home.

With that thought, I couldn't keep any of them in anymore. I cried as I slammed the door shut behind me. The pouring rain forced me to run to my car and as I quickly got in, I noticed how the sky kept getting darker and throwing its rain harder.

I didn't want to look at that house, I couldn't stand the sight of it or the man that was inside there. Neither could I stand to think of the woman that I once called mom. I hit the gas pedal and raced away.

The trees beside me were a blur, I was gasping hard for air and my head was pounding hard. Maybe driving with a brain concussion was not a smart idea, but what else could I do?

_I have nowhere to go._

Pissed as I was, a new idea came up. I laughed loudly in the silent car as I saw the mental image.

_Oh, yes. I am going to ram my truck into his precious car._

I knew exactly where that boy lived.

That day I would never forget.

_"Daddy, please, can't I stay home?"_

_"No Bella! This should do you good. I'm sure you'll love spending time with your friends and sleeping over."_

_Daddy didn't realize I never got an invitation from Edward in the first place for his eight birthday. Edward's dad had invited me and now daddy thought that Edward had invited me. He got everything wrong!_

_He drove up to the porch of the giant mansion. I swallowed nervously. How would Edward react when he saw me?_

_Daddy carried my one heavy bag to the front door and rang the bell. I waited nervously. When the door opened, it was Edward's mom and dad who gave me and daddy a happy smile._

_"Why, hello, Bella!" Edward's mom, Esme, said._

_"Good evening, Charlie," Edward's dad, Carlisle, said, shaking hands with daddy, "and hello Bella, how are you?"_

_"I'm good, thank you."_

_I took my bag from daddy and he hugged me goodbye._

_"Won't you come in?" Esme asked Daddy._

_"Oh, I should head back again, it's a party for the children of course. Be good, Bella."_

_"I will," I said._

_After they said their goodbye's, Carlisle took my bag from me and told me he'd bring it upstairs for me._

_Esme extended her hand for me to grab it with a warm smile and led me to the living room._

_"I'm happy you could come, Bella, you're always a pleasure to talk to. Are you quite sure everything is okay though?"_

_I nodded quickly, even though my breath was raspy and I was looking around to see if any of the mean children were looking for me._

_"Alright then, off you go," she said, releasing my hand. I walked inside the living room and the first thing I noticed was a giant piano. It just stood there, pitch black, in the middle of the living room, beautifully._

_"Wow…" I muttered, walking towards it, forgetting for a second why I was there in the first place._

_"What is _she _doing here?" the voice of Tanya accused loudly._

_I turned my head to the left and noticed the Cullen's children and their friends._

_"I didn't know you invited her!" Tanya said._

_It began…_

_"Don't be like that, guys!" Alice said. "You can sit next to me, Bella." Alice smiled at me and I smiled back._

_For a moment everything was okay and by okay, I meant, everybody ignored me._

_But then Mike called, "Let's play hide and seek and the loser has to do something really embarrassing."_

_"Yeah!" Tyler called._

_"Great plan!" Rosalie said._

_"Who begins?" Tanya calls._

_"I'll start," Edward said, closing his eyes. "Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…!"_

_Everybody, except for me, screamed. As they ran upstairs, I instead ran to the garden, finding that a saver choice to run to. I heard Edward count until one and saw him open his eyes and run upstairs._

_Smart kid. I stood there for a moment, looking at all the beautiful flowers, when I heard a terrible crack coming from the living room. I glanced inside and what I saw was terrible!_

_Tanya en Lauren were ruining that piano! They were kicking it and Tanya even grabbed a lamp to throw it on the piano. I gasped as a huge dent was visible on the piano._

_I ran inside and yelled at them to stop. They snickered and I gasped because I didn't understand why they were ruining that expensive looking and beautiful piano. It had scratches and dents on it now. Nobody could repair it now._

_As people came running downstairs, Tanya and Lauren both grabbed one of my arms and pulled me toward the piano and ran toward the stairs and screamed,_

_"She's absolutely crazy! Look what Bella did!"_

_I stared in shock at the piano as I realized what those two girls accused me off. They were lying!_

_For a moment, it was deadly quiet in the room when suddenly somebody pushed me and I fell on the ground._

_"What is your problem?" Edward yelled. "Just because you're jealous and can't afford a piano yourself, doesn't mean you can ruin mine."_

_"I… I didn't…"_

_"Shut up!" Tanya screamed._

_Edward looked confusedly from Tanya to me._

_"What happened here… Oh my goodness!" Esme said, entering the living room._

_"It was Bella!" Lauren called._

_"We saw her do it!" Tanya added along._

_"It wasn't me!" I screamed. "You're lying!"_

_The majority of my classmates gasped in shock as I ran toward Tanya and pushed her on the ground, and quickly I sat on her and tried to punch her in the face._

_"Stop this right now!" I heard Carlisle say. He pulled me off of Tanya and helped her up as well. "What's this all about, girls?"_

_"I have no idea," Esme muttered. She walked away, and I swore I saw tears in her eyes._

_"This party's off," Carlisle said. "I'm bringing you back home."_

_"Just Bella?" Lauren asked._

_"No!" Carlisle roared. "Everybody is taken home, right now."_

_And I heard a groans from all around me. I felt so bad at what just happened. Edward just wanted a nice birthday party, and those two girls ruined it for Edward and the rest._

_"No!" Edward said. "Please no."_

_"I'm sorry, son. I'm going to see if a few of your parents don't mind picking you up and I'll drive the rest home."_

_"Wait," I said, my voice broken._

_It didn't matter anymore. They already thought it was me. Even if I had proof, they'd still accuse me of doing it._

_So I sacrificed myself. Maybe that way, the party could still go on._

_"I... I'm sorry. You shouldn't punish everybody... for something... that I did. Just call my dad and let him take me home. I'm so sorry."_

_Carlisle's face showed little. But I saw him nod and everybody glared at me. He left the room, and I guess he was about to call daddy and tell him 'what I did'._

_I was too scared to look at them, but a few things I did notice._

_Alice was looking down with a confused scowl._

_Jasper had his eyes on the piano, looking at it in sorrow._

_Rosalie was gaping at me, almost as if she didn't believe that I could stoop that low._

_Emmett seemed identical to Rosalie._

_Lauren and Tanya were giggling together, happy the party would continue, without me._

_Edward took a step closer to me. __"Monday at school you're gonna get it, Belly. Watch my words. Tomorrow you're gonna regret the day you were born."_

And they were right, because on Monday, two days after Edward's birthday party, which ended abruptly for me, they called me trash and threw me in the school's trash bin.

So it was, I found that same old mansion, still standing in its same old place with that car right in front of me. I was staring straight at the side of the car, where the driver's seat was placed. I wiped away my tears.

_Beautiful._

I smiled as I fed my truck with a little more gasoline and heard it roar loudly. Edward's Volvo kept coming closer and closer, and I laughed at what his face would probably look like once he saw the sight of his car, all mashed up together into a heap of silver metal.

My eyes widened, and I nearly jumped on my brake. The truck made terrible sounds and I hoped for the opposite. I wanted the truck to stop in time, before it actually did hit Edward's car. In order to not touch it, I had to steer to the left to come to an halt. His car was right in front of me, with no scratch on it.

What kind of a person would I be if I crashed his car, because I was angry at my parents? If I wanted to ram him car, I wanted to do it with the anger I felt toward him and not toward somebody else.

_Oh, shit._

The front door opened and every-_frigging_-body walked outside, scowling in my direction.

_Shit, no._

I quickly jumped out of my truck.

"Hey," I said, giving my fake, happy smile to the lot of them. "Sorry, I thought this was, like, uh, the way to the supermarket. Yeah, that's right. But it isn't. So I'm on my way again. Sorry to disturb."

I turned and suddenly felt a soar spot on my thigh and stumbled.

"Rebecca, are you okay?" Alice called.

"Just fine," I gritted through my teeth.

"What happened to that girl?" Esme said, but I heard her anyway.

"Everybody get inside," Emmett said, "I'll take care of her."

I glanced back and actually saw that they complied to Emmett.

He walked to me and motioned to their garage for some shelter from the rain.

"You're a mess," he said, opening the up-and-open garage door. "Damn, your face."

I scowled, staring at his sorrowful face.

"Did they give you good new at the hospital?"

I nodded. "Perfect. No problems at all."

_Lies._

I wasn't allowed to go to school for a month.

"Well, good," he said with a sigh. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ram his car."

He laughed a little."So why didn't you ram his car? Seems like you hit your brakes real hard. We heard them all the way from the living room."

"I changed my mind last minute."

"Fair enough." He shrugged. "I don't blame you for wanting to do that."

"So there," I said.

Emmett leaned against a black and big car. It reminded me of one of those cars they used to show in commercials. They were everything which old cars were not; expensive, better for the environment, and they needed less gasoline.

"What Tanya did to you was unacceptable. The damage which you sustained is too big and it was done deliberately. This matter really does belong to the police now. Maybe you got away from it with bruises, but that doesn't make it less serious."

As if that would do me some good.

"Why are driving at this hour anyway?"

My eyes started to water. "Please leave. Please."

I noticed out of the corner of my eyes he was doubting whether to really leave or not.

"Do come inside once you're ready for it," he said softly. "You won't see any of the others. I'll leave the front door open."

"Yes, yes, okay," I muttered. "Thank you, Emmett. I'll come in shortly after you."

_Lies again._

The moment I heard the door shut, I glanced back and saw that Emmett really left. I searched through the garage to find a pen and paper - which was not easy, I quickly wrote a message.

_I'm sorry I lied, Emmett.  
>I'm leaving.<br>_

I left the note on the car where he could easily find it.

The hollow feeling inside my chest just got bigger. There was nothing inside me anymore.

What could life bring me at this point? I was seventeen, not yet old enough to live at my own place and I refused a foster home.

I quickly got out of the garage and wanted to walk to my car, but from the distance, I noticed a figure leaning against my car and obviously not caring about the rain.

_Edward._

I groaned out loud and ignored that he was standing there and kept my eyes down as I got the my truck and stood before him.

"Do you mind?" I asked in annoyance, as he was blocking my way of entering.

"I kind of do," he said.

I looked up and he chuckled shortly.

"You shouldn't be driving. Where are you heading?"

"Fuck you."

I tried to push him aside, but he blocked each of my attempt.

"You're really annoying."

"You're telling me now?"

"I hate your sarcasm! I should have crashed your stupid car!"

Edward glanced at the way my car was parked, nearly touching his own.

"Huh, is that what you were trying to do? I thought you were trying to park and this is the way you normally do it." He gestured toward my truck.

My face was empty as I stared at him and he changed his demeanor as well. He turned serious.

"Get in my car." He turned and opened the door for me to get in.

"I'd rather be killed."

"Get in the car," he repeated, only this time his voice held no jokes, no mockery. He was deadly serious and I slowly got in. He shut the door for me forcefully and I flinched at the sound of it.

I was tired, cold and hollow. And Edward stepped in the car next to me and drove around my truck and headed toward anywhere. I didn't know where, neither did I bother to look, because I shut my eyes and remained in the black.

It was quiet in the car, and it took him a few minutes to try and start a conversation.

"You're not wondering about where we're going?" he asked, slightly joking.

I didn't really care. I had already lost everything, so what more could I lose?

I wondered if anybody out there knew how I felt. Did anyone relate to me? Could they?

What parents lied to their children like this?

"So, you're really not gonna say a thing?"

Normally, I would have responded sarcastically or angrily, but I remained silent and in the dark.

What did he care?

"Way I see it, you've got two options. Either you stay and talk loud, or you walk away and nobody will ever understand what was wrong with you."

The normal Bella would be angry, and say that option number one was difficult. The second option was even worse and contained errors. Walking away would most likely turn me into an addict and thief. And he even said that something was wrong with me.

The Bella that sat beside Edward didn't flinch and didn't care, because this Bella was void.

I couldn't explain it, because it was strange and this never happened to me before. This feeling was never there. I didn't even know if calling it a feeling was correct.

"I'd say the second option is out of the question," he continued. "Because first of all, you'd be leaving again and second, I'm not letting that happen."

_He knows who I really am._

"You should go for the first option and talk loud. Tell people the truth."

He thought that I was upset about the bullying, but right now, my biggest problem was losing the place I once called home.

"I really don't get you. I don't understand you at all."

So this is what he really thought of me, and he finally said it.

"You're just gonna sit there and act like nothing happened? Tanya was cruel to you. How could you have been so stupid? After everything... You still haven't learned a thing."

I felt Edward make a sharp turn and stop the car. From the sounds around us, I concluded we were still at the highway, but he must have stopped at the emergency lane.

"I can't stand this! You're so damn frustrating! At least look at me."

_Look at him?_

Why would I, if I was so damn frustrating, according to him?

But I did so anyway, and I brought my head sideways to look at him.

As the sun was just dropping, I was slightly blinded as the strays were shining in my eyes, but I didn't miss how Edward's angry face changed to something entirely else. I blinked slowly to see if I was mistaken, but I wasn't. Edward was looking at me with a look of understanding. However, that only lasted briefly, as he averted his head from mine and stared at the now empty road. He brought his clenched fist to his lips and pressed against them.

He had said, _I can't stand this_.

Something about that made me open my mouth.

"Lucky you only had to go through it for such a small amount of time. I had to stand it from the day we met. I never got another choice but to stand it."

My voice wasn't mine. It was of a person's who was stuck and had no place else to go. My voice sounded lost and alone.

Edward's stare on me was direct and full of emotion. I barely got to see him like this. His eyes stayed on me and screamed unanswered questions and confusion.

For a moment I wondered if it wasn't just me who felt so alone, maybe he did too.

_No, of course not Bella._

Edward had everything and everyone he needed and wanted in his life, since for ever.

"Not me, you silly girl," Edward said, turning his head and cutting our eye contact. "I can't stand it for you. I can't stand to see you make up lie after lie. I can't stand to see you getting attacked without making a fucking noise. Like you're some piece of trash, somebody who doesn't deserve anything."

"I don't know what to say."

The words left my instantly, nonetheless they were still true. If he and his friends threw me in a trash bin, didn't that make me trash, according to him at least.

I tried so badly to not cry. No matter how much it hurt and no matter how tomorrow or the day after that would look like, I wouldn't stop trying to not cry. I was scared of crying, petrified actually. Once you let a tear fall while feeling miserable, you won't be able to stop doing it. You never know how long the pain will last and even after you're done crying, the pain is still present.

I put up a barrier that would halt the crying for as long as possible.

"Maybe that's the problem," Edward said, turning his skeptical face to me.

_To be continued_


	12. True colors

**Disclaimer: **Not my characters.

**A/N:** So happy to read your thoughts on the previous chapter. One of you screamed so loud at seeing my update, you were quite sure all your neighbors heard your scream. LOL. I hope this is a quick update. It's not the tallest chapter, but it's the rest of the previous one.

Enjoy reading!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter 12 - True colors<strong>_

This time I looked away, watching the trees beside the car.

_What a nice place to go to._

I opened the door and quickly got out.

Edward put the first crack in my barrier, simply by saying that the problem perhaps laid down in the fact that I didn't know what to say.

My barrier was supposed to be unbreakable, and if it wasn't, I would avoid anything that was toxic for my barrier, because I didn't want to cry. I needed a plan, not tears.

I needed a very good plan.

"Come on!" Edward called out, getting out of the car as well.

I quickly stepped into the darkness, but soon Edward had jogged his way to me and blocked my pathway - yet again.

When he saw me, however, his face turned compassionate. His hand reached my face but I flinched away. For a moment he seemed frustrated, but eventually he shook his head.

"What exactly are you going to do? Please enlighten me with that."

I scowled at him, and the way his tone was. He was talking to me as if I was a child, not much older then six.

"You don't want to get lost in some forest. It's pitch black in there."

I knew he was right, of course, but I couldn't be near him.

So I said, "I can't stay. With you."

"Why?"

His eyes challenged me to tell him, so instead I dropped mine. "Because I'm not sure how much longer I can try to not cry."

"What's the worst thing that can happen?" he said, taking a step closer to me. "That I might comfort you?"

My eyes stayed on the ground, but I knew that he stayed where he was, because I could see his shoes.

"That's not what you did last time."

"What? What did-" He cut himself abruptly, and I looked up at him. He looked a little guilty. "I'm sorry, but I can't remember whatever it was I did the last time."

My God. This boy was absolutely horrible.

"Do you need a reminder?" I asked, watching him blankly.

I wasn't sure yet what I felt. Was it anger, or sadness? I wasn't feeling it yet.

But I was feeling something. It didn't feel nice though.

"I'll take whatever you're sharing," Edward said carefully.

"Good," I replied, not looking at him anymore and starting to unbutton my belt and button of my jeans. I turned around, and dropped my jeans.

Then I knew what I felt. It was a feeling that said it was unfair that I felt horrible over an act which Edward couldn't even remember, even though he had inflicted it upon me.

"You can touch it, I don't mind. Maybe that way you'll remember even better."

He kept quiet.

On the back of my left leg I had a scar. It was deep, ugly and a few inches tall. If people got a look at it, they'd asked me if I'd burned myself. I had to admit that the scar looked like a horrible burning wound, but it was not.

I ducked and pulled up my jeans, feeling even more horrible. His quiet response hurt, but I didn't know why. But then, when I turned around to look at him, he didn't fail at responding.

"I pushed you, but you fell on glass. It cut open the back of your leg, right through your pantyhose. You needed twenty-one stitches to mash up the teared skin together, my dad told me that night. He also told me you cut open the palm of your left hand, getting a few stitches there too."

I looked at my left hand and noticed a scar beneath my thumb. I had forgotten about the one.

"I don't remember you crying. I remember you screaming. You seemed more in shock. Maybe you cried after I threatened you if you decided to tell on me and after I ran back inside the school building. Maybe you cried, but by that time I must've turned my back already."

My eyes stayed on the palm of my hand, but my ears listened carefully along.

"In fact, you barely ever cried."

I dropped my hand and looked at him. My mind was blank all of a sudden.

"Don't do that," I said with a slight shake of my head, my voice carrying a tremor.

He'd always been very clever, as he was now. Maybe he was right, but it didn't take away so many other things he did manage to make me feel or do.

If Edward understood me completely, I didn't know, but he did look away.

"Maybe you and I need to clear some things up. We can do it here, we can do it in my car, we can do it where ever the fuck you want to do it, but we will do it. We have to do it. I believe if we don't do it, that you and I will never-"

For a second I burst out in laughter, but quickly covered my mouth and tried to smooth my face back to blank.

Edward shut his eyes in frustration, even though I did notice a ghost of a smile near the edges of his mouth. Well, it was his fault, because he phrased himself so badly, sounding dirty.

"You're horrible." His voice carried humor, even though my abrupt laughter ended his serious session of talking.

"Old news, you've already called me that," I said, my voice all of a sudden gone dead again. I scowled at myself. Where were this mood swings coming from? At first I was laughing at innuendo's, and next I feel nothing again.

_"I'm so glad you left _my _party," I heard Edward's voice say, coming from above me._

_They had pushed me behind the school building, with nobody there to help me._

_"It was so much better afterwards," Tanya said with a stupid giggle._

_"I'm sorry, I have to get back inside," I muttered, looking down, but all of their feet came closer to me._

_Emmett stood behind Rosalie, seeming indifferent, but Rosalie did not. She was enjoying this show._

_"We don't even like you!" she said. "Why did you come? You should have never come. You ruined Edward's piano ever!"_

_My eyes watered, but Rosalie raised an eyebrow as if she was ready for my tears and mock them._

_So I swallowed hard, and told myself that there couldn't be any tears._

_Lauren took a few closer steps, coming to an halt when she stood next to Tanya. They looked at each other and giggled, but Lauren pointed at me._

_"You're just horrible! A loser. You're always ugly, and you're always gonna be ugly. And so disappointing. Did your dad get angry with you? Look, she's gonna cry!"_

_I scowled angrily. "I'm not!"_

_"Shut up!" Rosalie called. "What's wrong with you. Don't even talk. We hate you. You don't have friends, because you're a freak."_

_My eyes went downcast, and I think I understood their anger. Everybody thought I did this horrible thing - ruining that beautiful piano, except for Lauren and Tanya, who knew better. But why did they call me all these names? Why did these kids have to be so mean, always and forever?_

_"Where's your stupid mom, Bella?" Edward snapped. "Did she leave you?"_

_I looked up in shock, not believing his words._

_"I get her. I would do the same. I wouldn't want to be near you either. She hated you and then she dumped you here. I bet your dad hates you. Nobody likes a loser. Everybody's just gonna leave you anyway. Nobody wants a loser."_

_My body began shaking from the disbelief, anger, hurt and fear. I wanted them to stop talking to me like this. I never did no wrong._

_Mommy and daddy loved me. They did._

_"So tell me, Bella, what did your dad do last Saturday after you two got home?"_

_Truth was, daddy was very angry with me. He said that he was disappointing in me. And by then I got too scared to tell him that I lied. So I made him believe the lie, because I was too scared to tell him that the lie was a lie. He would have probably told me not to lie._

_And I knew it made no sense anymore._

_"He didn't talk to me a lot," I muttered._

_They laughed real hard as if it was funny._

_"Yeah, I wouldn't want that either. Your voice is ugly." Edward spit on the ground, watching me angrily. "I know just the perfect place for you, smelly belly. You're just a piece of horrible trash that everybody wants to get rid off."_

Edward's face blanched and even though his eyes were on me, I knew he was starting to remember. It was one of the most embarrassing things they'd ever done to me. At home, I cried for hours and pretended I wasn't hungry, just so I wouldn't have to spend time with Charlie. I needed my time to cry my eyes out, because I'd felt very hurt after that.

Their bullying was pretty creative.

Slowly, his eyes shifted a little, and I could tell he was in a confused haze.

"I still remember that day," he said quietly. "I was very angry."

"I won't ever forget that day," I muttered with my eyes on the wet grass.

How could I, if at night I kept being reminded of their verbal abuse. My nightmares kept showing up at inappropriate times.

"And I wasn't guilty."

I glanced at Edward, but noticed soon that he wasn't looking at me. He had his head aside, watching the darkness deeper in the forest. His face resembled the one I saw when I looked in the mirror. As if somebody was continuously punching him in the stomach. As if something was stabbing him in his sides as sharp as knives. As if he was being hurt.

_As if._

The voice in my head sounded sarcastic.

"There are a few thing you need to know," he said, straightening up. "And a few thing I need to know from you."

"It doesn't matter."

"How can it not?"

"Because it is a horrible mess, and I'll never get out."

Edward immediately shook his head. "That's not true. Don't think like that."

For years they'd been bullying me. And when I went to Phoenix, I made friends, but _they_ were always in my head. I always double checked all my thoughts, my clothes, my shoes, my jewelry, my hairstyle, my perfume, my make-up, the color of my nail polish, but mostly my character. Wasn't your character supposed to be that one part people looked at when they started to know you? If those guys and girls bullied me, wasn't it because something was wrong with my character?

And then there's my parents. They made an abnormal decision, and I hated them for it.

_Hate._

When I thought of Renée and Charlie, I felt betrayal in its biggest form. And my hate kept feeding on that betrayal. If I ever wanted to make up with them again, I'd have to remove the hate, but first of all, I wasn't sure if I wanted to make up with them, and second, I didn't want to get rid of the hate.

Because it was so easy to hate.

"It doesn't matter," I repeated. "Because what they've done is even worse then what you and your buddies did."

"Who?"

I glared at the ground.

How could they have pushed me into such a corner, which was sticky, dark and lonely. Would I ever get out? Would the darkness ever go away? Could I ever stop feeling so alone, without doubting myself, my looks, my words and my opinions? Would I ever learn to trust again?

_Where am I going to sleep tonight?_

"Fuck." The word was foreign to my lips, but maybe someday they'd get used to it, if I kept saying it on a daily basis.

Edward steered his head. "What's the matter?"

I had to tell somebody that I left home and didn't ever want to go back. I couldn't keep it inside me forever and the biggest problem was that the sun was setting and I had no place to sleep.

"I didn't get lost on my way to the supermarket," I said tiredly. "And I didn't just go to your place to ram your car. The truth..."

Edward gave a slight nod and watched me straight ahead. He was a smart boy and he knew that what I was about to tell him was something which few people knew. In fact, he was about to get an award for the first place for about to know what happened between me and Charlie.

"Well, the truth..." I said, my voice slowly fading down.

And then something shocking happened. Edward said, "You don't have to tell me anything out of force. If you want, tell me what you need." He shrugged. "I'll see if I can help you with that."

A wrecking ball came in contact with my barrier. My muscled tensed up and my breathing got more shallow. Something happened, something crucial.

_I'm being offered help._

"I don't know," I said, biting my lip. How could he help me? "Nobody can fix this."

Edward gave a sympathetic smile, even if he didn't know what I was talking about. After a deep breath, I talked loud, like he said before. I was opting option two right here and now in front of him. I made myself vulnerable, and I couldn't think straight to know if it was or wasn't a wise choice.

But if I thought about it, Edward must still know somehow that, maybe not Renée, but at least Charlie knew about the bullying, because Charlie did say that he talked about it with Carlisle and Esme. So Edward probably already knew.

"Charlie said that he knew all along about... well, everything."

Luckily, Edward caught on and understood what I meant by everything, but he said, "Sometimes parents make bad decisions, it doesn't make them bad people. And before, when you said that what they did is worse then what me and my friends back then did is something which you've got wrong. What I did and said was the worst."

I brought my upper lip up in disgust, wondering how he could even decide for me what was worse.

"The reason why you don't see it that way," he said after a look at my face, "is because what you feel now with Charlie is recent and fresh. I'm trying to say is that what I did was worse, in _anybody's _eyes, if they knew the full story. I don't think you know the full story yet and I can tell you if you ask me to. And if you can stand here and talk with me, _me_, then I know that you can also talk to Charlie. That is the only comfort I can give you now."

So I didn't know the full story to Charlie's betrayal? What did Edward know? I knew what I felt and it was real and there wasn't much which Edward could say to make this better.

I was quite sure actually that whatever he had to say would make things worse.

"Let's please get in my car and drive to some place I always go to. Let's talk about anything, I don't care. We can talk about bullshit or I could give you my version of the story. Perhaps give you a different perspective."

"Why? Why should I? What do you care?"

"Because it might give you some answers to questions you never thought of asking yourself. And the reason I care is because shouldn't throw good people out of your life."

I looked away angrily. What was that supposed to mean?

"Even though those answers can't change _anything _to this current situation or the past, they might be worth knowing. But that's up to you to decide, if you let me."

He held up his hand to his car, as if the ask me once again, silently, if I would join him to whatever place he was talking about.

I didn't answer him verbally, but I did turn to his car, which was an answer in itself.

He won. He always won.

We reached the car and he opened the door for me. Again he did that.

"Don't adjust yourself into someone you're not. Especially not for me." I pointed at a nearby pool of rain water and mud. "If you want to push me in it, go ahead and push me in it. Because I know you want to. The Edward I know wants to do that sort of thing. I'm not stronger then you. And I've never been. Pulling me there and pushing me in it will be easy for you. And I would never tell anybody, so go ahead and do what you really want."

I put my hand on the car door where his hand rested on and pushed the door closed.

"And then 'forget' I was here. Somebody might find me. Or not. Whatever."

What didn't go unnoticed by me, was Edward's slight stumble when I yanked the door to close. I thought he was only resting his hand on it, but apparently he had been pretty much holding a tight grip to it.

"You know I won't tell anyone. Because you'll give me a threat or two, maybe three."

"Stop," he pleaded. His eyes showed an exhaustion which seemed older then the one I felt.

"And I want you to stop pretending to be kind and caring and opening the door for me like a gentleman would. I don't want to be lied to anymore. So just show me your true colors."

He leaned forward slowly and took a grip on the door handle. When the door was open, he motioned his head to the passengers seat.

I looked from the seat to him, not understanding.

"Sit down."

When I didn't move, he took my hand in his and watched me pointedly.

"Fine!" I snapped. "Alright! Okay!"

Yanking my hand out of his, I sat in the car and glared at him. He bent through his knees and looked at me for a second.

This position forced me to look down, because this way he was a head shorter.

"I'm a jerk, because it's the word I've been called the most often. I abuse the power I have on girls to effect them. This results into always getting what I want. In my family, I'm the one who fights the most with my parents and siblings, because they do not always give me what I want. I say what's on my mind without a filter. I have to be in a very serious mood to filter out at least curse or demeaning words. When I'm pissed, I make regrettable choices. The times I disappointed the ones that I love is uncountable. There are few things I find enjoyable. Boxing is one of them. Teaching you how to box is another, or perhaps I should say was."

I held more tightly onto my barrier. The wrecking ball had done some damage to it, but it was still intact and I'd be damned if it broke down.

Once it broke down, I'd cry. Maybe it'd be just a tear, maybe an entire flood.

He said that he _enjoyed _teaching me how to box. He and I both knew that I was anything but a boxer. I was too slow, too weak and too careful to be a boxing type.

But he did say that he enjoyed teaching me.

_What is so enjoyable about that?_

"If you see me smoking a cigarette, you can conclude I'm feeling either pissed or miserable. Rebecca Dwyer earned a place on my list of girls I'd like to fuck. I'm waiting for the moment when you'll ask me how the hell I found out you lied about your identity."

My breath came out harshly because of course I was wondering when and how he found out. But I kept denying he knew, which meant I ignored what he knew. In place, I had to shut my mouth and not ask him how he knew. If I asked him, I wouldn't be denying it anymore.

I remembered last week Monday.

_His eyes travelled from my head, to my chest where he openly stared at my breasts, down to my stomach and legs and then slowly back up, until he reached my face._

I remembered how he'd asked me that question, which he made sounding like a statement.

_"You have a boyfriend?"_

And I remembered something more.

_"What do you want from me?" Now I sounded plain desperate._

_He shrugged a little, while staring at me intently. Again._

_I glanced up at the stairs. That was the way I should be heading, so I stepped aside and began walking up again._

_"I know what I want from you," he said. "But I'm not sharing."_

_With a scowl I turned my head and saw him step slowly up as well._

_"What?" I asked with confusion in my voice._

_He shook his head. "I won't tell. You're the kind of girl that would go running the moment things get scary."_

And the moment he did tell me what he wanted from me. It was the day when he pushed me into a gap between the lockers.

_"What are you doing?" I instantly asked._

_"Trying to figure out what is scaring you."_

_I jerked my head away from his hand when I saw it was reaching my cheek. There was not one person around. I looked up at Edward, whom I could feel had now his hands on my shirt._

_"I-I'm not..." I said, my voice quitting on its own. His eyes told me that he knew that I was afraid, so denying it was useless. "Please, let me go."_

_"Relax," he murmured._

_My eyes fought to look better, to see a shadow, anything, that would mean a person was near._

_Another part of me knew that his fingers were trailing the edge of my shirt, slowly dipping the edge up so that his fingers touched my skin._

_"Edward," I choked._

It clicked together, just like that. He had always said that he wanted to find out what was scaring Rebecca - me, so much, but his actions showed something else as well. His actions had showed me what he wanted from Rebecca.

His aim for Rebecca Dwyer had been sex from day one.

_Well, shit._

"Rebecca was only a fantasy, but when I found out that it had been you I'd treated like that, instead of some Rebecca, I got pissed in ways I'd never been before. Because the way I imagined our reunion to be was different. In myself I was disappointed to think like a foolish boy believing in happily every after endings. The reality hit me hard. I was at conflict. I had to rethink all my comments when I was with you. The way I treated Rebecca was in ways that I would never treat you like. And that's got nothing to do with changing my personality and basically putting on a mask, just because it's you. I wanted to show you that there is another side to me. Maybe you'd think less badly of me. Maybe it'd be nice for you to know people can change. And many more reasons."

He had made up ways as to how our reunion would be. I couldn't believe it. He had thought of me, however little it may have been.

It meant something.

And it meant another loud crack on my barrier.

"It's needless to say that Tanya's an aggressive brute. She wanted to hurt you on purpose, but I thought my threat was enough to keep her on a distance from you. She committed cruelty act number one, and for the first time since a long time I got scared, because I saw you on the ground with your eyes closed, blood around your face, and I can only imagine what she must have done. I hate myself for not being there to stop her, but she out won me tactically by choosing to fight with you exactly at the moment when I had my battle with Emmett. For the first time in my life I called myself a jerk, for being naive into believing that Tanya wouldn't do just exactly that."

I had to hold the last pieces of my barrier together tightly.

Edward was very broad minded. And he was showing me that his intelligence was a lot more bigger then I originally thought.

Calling himself a jerk and naive wasn't what the Edward I knew would say. Calling Tanya an aggressive brute and her acts cruel was even more shocking to hear coming from his mouth.

"When I look ahead ten years from now, I see nothing. People think I'm joking when I say that I don't do girlfriends. I never joke about that one because a man is supposed to be able to get emotionally naked in front of his girl, but that shit is too intimate for me. My future could be great, because I know I have the potential to be something amazing."

He was absolutely right about his future. He could walk miles ahead of people, being a leader, a fighter and a winner. He wasn't arrogant when he said that, because even I knew it. Saying it made him realistic.

Just like that, I knew why he didn't do girlfriends. Many people, as I did once, simply thought because he didn't want to be attached to one person and live a free life, but the truth was one million times deeper. He couldn't make himself emotionally vulnerable.

_Then what's he doing now?_

"But what's the worth of a great future, if the past is fucked up and got never resolved?"

His words kept throwing stones on my barrier, and like a house of cards, gravity pulled it down and I couldn't fight it any longer.

It broke down and suddenly I was the one being exposed. I turned my head, staring at the roads.

A tear rolled down my cheek very slowly, as he said, "You wanted me to show you my true colors. There you have it."

_There you have it._

His statement was quite true on two subjects.

The first being showing me his true colors.

The second was that his presence at last reduced me to tears, like I'd originally told him.

Was he talking about what he said to me or my tear?

"I'm at conflict again, because I've got so much more to tell you, but I also don't want to be the reason behind your pain. So I can take you back."

"Back where?" I muttered. "I've nowhere to go to."

"A few years ago I had that thought as well."

"What'd you do?"

"There's not a lot a person can do when they're alone. And I was alone, fighting a battle with myself. But I survived. You will too. I'll help you with it, okay? Objectively and effectively."

"Fine."

He'd fail.

Then he'd leave me.


	13. Neutral

**Disclaimer: **Not my characters

**A/N: **Dear readers. Hello! I can't even apologize for the very late update, because this chapter has mentally exhausted me. I've edited it so many times, it drove me insane. Usually, writing is easy, but not for this chapter. This chapter has been a rough ride. For anyone who can relate or simply understand, thank you very much for sticking with me and still enjoying this story.

To one of my anonymous reviewers with a very critical eye: I've changed all the errors you mentioned. Thank you very much for pointing them out, so my previous chapters are now a bit softer on the eye.

Beforehand, I'd like to thank everyone who sends me a review. I love the feedback !

This is chapter 13! Enjoy reading!

* * *

><p>Rest in peace Robin Williams.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 13 - Neutral<em>**

We drove past a sign that indicated we reached Port Angeles. It brought back memories of last Sunday when I'd been searching for a coffeemaker and coffee. It's was a stupid day, as my truck broke down and Edward bought me some food and kindly drove me back home, a place I still had back then. It had been more stupid when Edward told me that I'd gone through all that trouble for nothing, because Forks sold the exact same coffeemaker, and coffee.

_Why are you thinking of that silly day, when the situation you are in right now is a gazillion times worse?_

It was amazing how people could worry about small things. In the end it didn't matter, and all the worrying proved itself to be wasted time. That's why I decided that it didn't matter why Edward was driving to Port Angeles. I was going to let him do all the talking. I was not going to say a thing, I was not going to act stupid, I wasn't planning on doing anything. My mind was neutral, my emotions were under control and I kept my breathing nice and even.

_I am Switzerland._

"I know a place where you could go," Edward said.

He parked the car at the same parking space where we'd stood last Sunday. I noticed a few ships in the far distance. I heard Edward talking, but his words didn't get through. I was too busy keeping my head neutral area.

"I can take you there and the adults who live there work for social services."

"Excuse me?"

I couldn't imagine why he would want me to go to a place where people from social services lived. Or in what way he thought they could help me. It was totally absurd and he was probably just joking.

_Keeping a very neutral mind indeed._

If I could have, I would have patted myself on the back.

"Well, first," Edward began, "they'll let you stay there until something permanent is arranged. Their first option is called kinship care, where they'll look for relatives and... Well, it's better if you hear it from them. But I'll need your permission to drive you up there."

Had he gone absolutely insane? Was that really his way of fixing a problem? Did he expect me to go to strangers, to eventually live with strangers?

I felt like ice cold water was running through my veins upon hearing him give me that option. It was very quiet in the car as I could hardly believe it. The idea was so strange and foreign to me. I never thought of that myself, because I never considered myself somebody who'd need such a service. I couldn't imagine they'd even consider me somebody who needs that kind of care. Then again, I was a minor, and they did these things for minors. So, maybe they could help me. But was it really possible and wouldn't they think I was exaggerating? What relatives would they call? I had a few relatives living here and there, but I rarely visited any of them.

A thousand questions arose in me at the words social services, and kinship care. A thousand more as I realized Edward knew this for reasons yet unknown to me. Some part of me wanted to get out of the car angrily and leave Edward behind, leave entire Forks behind, for being given such a ridiculous option. But living with strangers wasn't horrible, a more rational part in me said. Living with people who all this time kept the truth away from me, that was unimaginable. The betrayal of my parents and even Esme and Carlisle was worse then all the bullying put together. So living with strangers, it couldn't be that horrible.

And my mind tried to remind me to stay neutral.

"The moment you're in contact with them, they will help you," he said slowly with so much care that it surprised me. His kind tone and offered help was disturbing. This was not the Edward I knew and this was not the boy who bullied me. He was another person and that was unfair.

_I don't want to be misled._

"I'm saying," he continued even more slowly, when briefly my eyes landed on his, in what I knew, pure panic, "you've got an option that'll get you safely away from here."

I shook my head a little, barely containing myself from asking, _what do you care?_ because I really wasn't in the mood for a confrontation like that.

"How do you know all this?" I asked instead, which sounded like a fair and neutral question.

"That's a long story..." he said with his eyes far away in the distance.

I knew perfectly how people would say that something was a long story, when really, it's not. It's a defense mechanism people use when they didn't want to continue with whatever they were talking. It's an often used excuse, and I knew it. This I knew, because I often used it myself. Many times, people from Phoenix would ask me about Forks, and many times I told them that it's a long story, until they dropped the subject that was Forks.

Except for Alex, my most dearest friends. But even with Alex I wasn't sure about our friendship, because I hadn't heard of him for such a long time, and I was too scared to call him. I wanted to tell him that I was doing well in Forks, but right now I was anything but feeling fine. And even though I considered him my best friend and we together had the best times together, I'd never managed to tell him about my past in Forks.

"If you're sharing, I'll listen," I said. I was eager to find out what had caused him to know about these affairs.

"Okay," Edward muttered with a scowl, his eyes in the distance. But he wasn't looking into the ocean, for that was the direction his eyes were aiming at. His eyes were back in time, thinking of something that happened in the past.

"Port Angeles is at harbor," he began, a strange beginning to his explanation. "That's the reason why I visit Port Angeles. Not for the reasons I told you last time we were here."

Last Sunday Edward told me that he liked the different area, people and long ride to Port Angeles. I had considered his reasoning strange, but visiting a place because it's at harbor didn't make much sense either. Did he like the boats or cool breeze that came with the harbor? It was a very quiet and peaceful place, so it made sense that he liked Port Angeles.

"I can understand that," I said, yet still wondering if my ideas were right.

"What do you mean?" he asked, steering his head in my direction with confused eyes.

I pointed around, and said, "It's a nice view."

Edward huffed, and let out a short, sarcastic laugh. He was clearly not agreeing.

He said very slowly, with much force, "If you're adopted, there comes this fucked up day you get to hear that the people you call your mom, dad, brother and sister aren't related to you by blood. Esme and Carlisle told us when we were still young to prevent the drama of us finding out ourselves. We didn't look alike, we had different interests and the explanation had to come soon, one way or another."

Edward paused, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes completely still, thinking in focus. I tried to encourage him to continue, but I remained still. If he was quiet, he must have needed the extra time to think.

My patience was rewarded, and he continued, "But there are some things you can't tell to young kids. At least not until they reach a decent age to hear more drama that sometimes comes with adoption."

I turned my head away from him to watch the still ocean ahead of us. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear any of the drama he had to say. Would it do me any good, or could it hurt me more? Adoption itself is drama number one, and I played nervously with my fingers, hoping very much that whatever he had to say, wouldn't be too painful to hear.

From the corner of my eyes I noticed Edward turn his head, and I felt his eyes on me. I needed a moment to calm myself and say that I could handle it. I would handle it, and remain neutral. With those thoughts, I turned my head as well, because a neutral mind could handle everything.

"Esme and Carlisle told us we're adopted after dinner, I remember. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and I were seven, Alice six. Many questions were asked that day, but most got vague answers. They accepted being adopted, without wanting a real answer as to where our real parents are. I didn't. I had to know what it was they were hiding behind their strange answers. Carlisle and Esme told me that my _other _parents were at a special hospital, and they had to stay there for rest. I was... angry, confused. I believed Carlisle and Esme were lying. I didn't know what else to do but go to the police. We were living in Chicago back then."

Secretly I knew that his meaning to their previous residence was to explain that he had gone to see the police in Chicago and not the ones here in Forks, so it wasn't Charlie or one of his colleagues he'd gone to.

I scowled, as I wondered what kind of special hospital Esme and Carlisle meant. Perhaps it was the psychiatric hospital.

And something so very strange happened. Nobody ever told me that they first lived in Chicago. As a child, I was only looking to make a few friends. And friends told each other stuff like that, but since I'd never had real friends in Forks, I never got to know a lot of the Cullen's, or any of my classmates, for that matter.

Now I was given a small, stupid piece of information that only angered me more. When I was six, I was only trying to find a few friends. Asking them questions; normal, kind questions, like where they first lived, if they liked Forks, how they thought of their new school, and even what their damn stupid favorite color was. That's how friendships could start.

Back then, it would have meant to world to me to have the Cullen kids as my friends, but that fairy tale was ruined, up to the moment they literally drew me away from my hometown.

_Stay neutral._

"Next morning I got up early to find the police. I wasn't a case to be taken away from my home. So the police brought me back. It took a little while for me to accept that Carlisle and Esme were not giving me fair answers. Few years later I demanded they tell me what exactly they knew, so this special hospital they mentioned was actually prison."

"Prison?" I blurted out, completely not neutral.

This morning Edward called his biological parents crazy, and together with Esme and Carlisle's _special hospital _explanation, I was sure it had to be a psychiatric hospital. It was a logical conclusion which made sense to me.

I wasn't prepared for a prison story. Prison meant something bad... but prison could have many meanings, couldn't it? Some people went to prison for only a short period of time. Some crimes were not that horrible and those people served a few months sentence.

"How long will they stay in prison?" I asked carefully.

"Till they die. Or get killed by other prisoners."

I couldn't help but feel shock, because I had secretly hoped that he'd that they weren't in prison anymore.

I had hoped for a happy ending.

"What did you do once you found out?" I asked once Edward remained quiet for too long. I considered that this was not a pleasant story for Edward to relive and say out loud to me, but I was too curious now to hear the end.

"Carlisle and Esme decided to also tell Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper the entire truth about their own past, but they told them separately, to respect our privacy. So I had to wait until I could ask them. First I asked Alice, and she said that her biological parents died at work. They were firefighters."

I was awed, suddenly. To have parents with such a noble job. It made me wonder how a young Edward reacted upon hearing this, compared to his own prison story.

"Then I went to Rosalie to hear that her biological mother had died from cancer, and her biological father committed suicide for not being able to handle his wife's death."

Then I knew exactly where Edward was going with this.

"At last I went into Jasper's room, and Emmett was with him. Apparently, their parents knew each other. They died in a car crash. At the moment of the crash, Jasper and Emmett were at their grandparents."

Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett's parents were dead, by accidents or illness (or suicide), and their parents seemed like they were good people. Edward got to hear that his parents were alive and in jail for life.

Staying neutral was not something I could do right now, because I was blown away. I didn't know what to say. For a young child, this must have been a heavy weight on the shoulders.

"You'd think this would've given them some special bond, because their parents were befriended, but there was never a special bond. Anyway, I remember standing in Jasper's room, and Alice and Rosalie came in too. They asked me what was wrong, why I asked them those questions, and where my biological parents were, but I couldn't tell them. So I left, and went to my, back then, best friend Jacob. But when I found him in his garage, I couldn't say the words. I didn't want him to feel sorry for me, and instead I told him about you."

_You what?_

That question must have been clear on my face, because Edward chuckled.

I knew he told Jacob about me, but the moment made no sense. He was hurt by the truth. He told Jacob about me, while he was hurt by the prison story. If I'd been blown away before, now my mind was completely blank. I didn't understand it anymore.

"I never gave you any thought once you were gone. I was that insensible."

I turned my head away from him, because suddenly his story involved me as well. I didn't like that.

"But, once I heard that _they _are in prison... and why... I felt sick. I was aware of everything I had ever done to you. I had to tell somebody about... everything... I did to you, and that somebody happened to me my best friend. Except, once I was done talking, he replied cruelly, and I left Forks."

Still, I found it strange that Edward would choose that moment to tell about his actions to his friend. His mind was originally on his biological parents, yet it stirred to the point he was remembered of me?

Edward said that a few years ago, he had nowhere to go, and this is what he probably meant by that. Which actually left me with one important question. But it seemed like Edward was avoiding that precise topic.

I asked anyhow. "What are they guilty of?"

He watched me with a some trouble in his eyes, and muttered, "Murder and the attempt of murder." His answer was short, with no further explanation. But I reminded myself that he did answer my question, and that meant something too.

Nonetheless, I was hesitant. I was sitting in a car next to the guy that bullied me when I was only six, the sun had dropped to leave the sky pitch black and the rain was sounding merciless as it fell hard on the car. The scene was eerie, and his words were turning into a horror story.

He heard he was adopted when he was seven, he went to the police, a few years later he heard his biological parents were in jail for murder and the attempt of murder, and then he told his best friend Jacob that he was a bully and then he left Forks. When I looked at Edward, I didn't see all those things, but I knew now that he too was hurt and had felt immense emotions to have gone to the police at the age of seven and to have run away from home just a few years later.

I was not a horrible person to not acknowledge that. But what I couldn't do, was acknowledge it out loud to Edward, so he'd know that I could acknowledge the hurt he must have felt. I kept it to myself.

It was very quiet in the car, except for the heavy rain pour. I couldn't speak for a few minutes, but it seemed like Edward needed that time too. I wasn't sure what he was thinking; did he regret telling me? It didn't seem like something he told anyone who crossed his path. As far as I knew, only Esme and Carlisle knew the entire story, along with the orphanage that Edward was first probably in.

It made no sense though, that Edward told me this.

"Who did they kill?" I asked with a confused mind.

"Two teenagers."

"Why?" I muttered but when Edward looked at me, I could tell we'd reached a question that was too painful.

_To him it might even be unimaginable._

"And... the attempt of murder..." I started slowly, "Who did they try to kill?"

"Me," he said so quietly, I swore for a second I thought I'd only imagined the soft voice that had replied with that answer.

I felt very soar, as my chest was closing up tightly upon hearing something so sad. I'd heard and read many horrible stories, on the television, newspaper and internet, but never had it been somebody that I personally knew. It was always a sad moment to read that a man had killed his wife, or if I put on the television and heard how somebody who committed one of the highest crimes still wasn't caught by the police, but that was it; a sad moment, and nothing more.

And now, I got to see one of those victims, the ones I never gave much thought to. I didn't know people could put on such great masks, like Edward did.

He never broke eye contact as he continued, "They were addicts and criminals. She wasn't maternal, and he only cared for her. So while being high on drugs, they reached a cliffed coast, and threw me in the ocean. Two teenagers tried to stop them, because it was a high cliff. But they got stabbed with a knife repeatedly and bled to death."

I failed Switzerland for not staying neutral. I was dumbstruck.

Edward was about to continue, but stopped when he saw me. For that I was grateful. He turned his head to watch the waters.

People don't throw a baby in the water! People can't get rid of their baby by trying to kill it! People can't be so cruel to innocent beings!

But criminals? Murderers? That kind were monsters. Only monsters could do that. They were the kind of living creatures that deserved to rot in hell. I wanted to get angry at them, to scream at them and ask how they could be so disgusting. The rage inside me grew and I could only imagine Edward's anger when he heard this.

"I don't know what to say," I said. "How did you get out?"

I felt a rage like I never felt before. Life could be cruel and unfair sometimes.

"The coast was filled with sailing people, which their drugged up heads didn't register at that time. There were enough people to have seen what happened and get me out of the water."

My feelings were all over the place, distracting me, and they were also very much disturbing. I had my own worries. I had my own problems to fix, and I couldn't have my feelings get mixed with whatever horrible things Edward had gone through.

"Why would you say all that to me?" I asked in an accused tone.

"You asked questions and I continued."

"No! That's not what I meant! Why would you tell me something so personal?"

"I didn't mean to offend you."

"You thought you could tell me so I'll feel sorry for you? You can't use this as an excuse for hurting me."

"I'm not using this as an excuse," he said. "We met in the first grade, when I was seven. I was fourteen when I heard of the entire truth. How the hell could I use it as and excuse?"

I turned my head angrily, suddenly feeling hurt. He was right of course, because if he heard about this horrible story on his fourteenth, he couldn't use that as a reason for bullying me.

Still, to hear something so intense was not something I could easily forget. I couldn't shake it off.

"Neither to make you feel sorry for me," he said.

I huffed, very unladylike.

"What are you thinking?"

"None of your business, but I am counting the seconds till I finally don't have to ever see you again!"

"I remember our first meeting," Edward said, unaffected by my comment.

As if I hadn't insulted him.

As if he didn't hear me.

As if I never said the words out loud.

"You asked me why I looked sad and I walked away angrily. You remember that?"

Of course I remembered our first meeting. He'd walked away and afterwards treated me cruelly. I tried many times to talk to him, maybe get to know him, but I stopped doing that when I realized we would never be friends.

"I'd just found out that I was adopted. Esme and Carlisle decided to move to Forks, and I was pissed, especially when the damn rain here never stopped pouring."

"Nine, ten, eleven, twelve-"

"You have a dark sense of humor."

"This is not humor. You don't see me laughing, do you? I really am counting. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen-"

"I'm telling you that I can't give you any excuses, because there's nothing I can say to fix what I chose to do from the moment we met. But I can give you this. On my fourteenth, when I heard the truth, lost a friend and ran away. I was aware for the first time how miserable your life must have been. Because I was thrown away too, and I was alone too. I felt like a criminal, a murderer. Every action comes with a reaction. Mine came years too late."

_Dammit__!_

He had to bring in the third law of Newton. Possibly, a bigger explanation as well as to why he wasn't a horrible person anymore.

"There's little I can do. Like tell you about my past, so that maybe you'll believe me when I say I feel bad about my behavior. And if it didn't work, you've got a great thing now to use against me. Maybe retaliate."

I scowled in his direction. "I'm not a bitch. I don't want to hurt you. I just want to get away from you and never see you again."

"Well then," he said. "If you could stand me a few more minutes, I'll drive as fast as I can."

He started the car and drove away from the parking area, away from the coast and back on the highway. Except, luckily, he was driving away from Forks.

"Where to?" I asked.

"It's the place where I stayed when I ran away."

"Oh." I was surprised he was taking me to the same place where he had stayed.

"Once you're there, it'll be okay again."

"You're that sure?" I mocked.

"I know you'll be away from Forks, and staying with people who like you ran away. Kind, professional workers stay there too. If you let them, they'll help you. And you're gonna be fine again."

So the place he was taking me wasn't just a place where professional workers lived, but other runaways too.

Being reassured by Edward was really disturbing, so I uttered out, "There are still things I don't understand. Why do you visit the harbor of Port Angeles?"

He made a turn to the right, looking around a little and driving a bit slower.

I wondered if he was lost. It'd been four years ago the last time he was there, and... how did he get to the place he was taking me now when he was fourteen? And how did he know about the place's existence?

"The harbor shows me the big, never ending, ocean. It reminds me of those two innocent teenagers. It reminds me that I was almost killed."

That made sense why he laughed sarcastically when I said that the harbor had a nice view. He visited the harbor for the exact opposite reasons. He didn't consider it a place of relaxation, but to remind himself of that day.

"Then why would you voluntarily visit the harbor so often?" I asked. Being reminded of the deaths of innocent teenagers and his own life almost taken away sounded horrible.

"I don't know," he said. "Maybe it gives me a fucking carpe diem moment."

I pressed my lips on each other to prevent a smile, and luckily, Edward had his eyes on the road to miss my short moment of humor. He probably hadn't even meant for it to be something funny.

But behind the part I found funny, I understood what he meant; going to the harbor of Port Angeles, it reminded him that he was still alive. Two innocent teenagers were dead, because they tried to save him. The harbor, and the big ocean, it reminded him to seize the day.

I understood now why Edward visited the harbor.

"There are a few valuable things I know. And I don't know if you know those things already. Is it okay if I tell you?"

"Sure," I agreed carefully. This earned my curiosity as well. I wanted to hear what Edward considered valuable information.

"Charlie had Emmett, Rosalie, Tanya, Lauren and myself get tested for mental illnesses and misbehavior problems. He also made sure the whole town knew we might be crazy."

I could imagine Charlie running around and letting everybody know about that. It was slightly funny. But to hear that Charlie spent energy on them was uncomfortable. The jealousy in me came to surface. My own dad spent his time on them, but not on me.

"Your mother contacted the school and reported us. The five of us got preached by a professional each week about the harms bullying could do, until the end of elementary school. Jasper and Alice were hurt and it took them both a while to redeem our sibling relationship."

All this time my parents and Edward's parents knew, and I could only wonder why nobody ever bothered with an explanation or an apology. It would have meant a lot to me then. But not anymore. It's too late now. To get an explanation now I would probably be disappointed. It would be painful to hear their excuses.

Jasper and Alice would say they were young and didn't know the bullying was more horrible then they thought it was, but it wouldn't matter to me. There were times they could have stopped their siblings, but didn't. Rosalie, Emmett and Edward could call themselves the biggest jerks, and apologize ten thousand times, but my mind would say that they were too late and had taken their bullying miles too far. Charlie and Renée would say that they really thought it was best to ignore everything, but that would just make me want to punch my fist into a wall. And Carlisle and Esme could have done so many things once they found out, but they did nothing for me.

Back then, if I'd received a call from any of them, and heard an apology, I would have listened. I might have even tried to forgive them.

_It's too late now._

Edward parked the car in front of a big house with a messy garden. He noticed my silence after he told me his so called valuable things he knew, but I didn't care much about those things. They still hadn't bothered to tell me the truth, or explain, or apologize. The good they did in the past did not mean much to me.

"This is it," he said, staring at the house.

It was a simple house. I expected something more professional, and more in the open. This house was hidden between many other houses, as if there was nothing special about it. Outsiders would never consider this house to be something special.

"How did you ever find this place?" I asked softly.

"Hitch-hikers."

I was shocked at hearing he did that at such a young age, and his eyes showed me he found humor in my shock. He reached into the back of the car and handed me a thick envelope. I took it and noticed many, many banknotes.

"It's the money you gave me, but it was never mine. I shouldn't have taken it from you in the first place. If you want to go, there it is." He pointed at the house. "I won't tell anyone you're here. And you could make a request for another location. That way, even I won't know where you are."

It sounded good. I had cash money, I had a place to stay, and if I was fast, nobody would know where I was staying, not even Edward.

But I didn't leave the car yet.

"Did Emmett tell you about me?" I wondered out loud.

All this time I'd been avoiding finding out how he knew, when he got to hear that my name was not Rebecca Dwyer. Now was a good time to find out.

"About what?" he asked with a scowl. He had no idea I was trying to ask him how he found out I was Bella.

"Me," I said slowly, and very awkwardly. "The real me."

Edward blinked as he concluded something else, for he asked, "Emmett knows?"

I nodded.

"You told him?"

"Of course not," I said in surprise. "He recognized me."

Edward shook his head, reached in his jacket for his wallet and pulled something out. He held it out to me and I saw a yellow paper. I recognized what it was, but took it anyway. It was the post-it note which the girl at the store in Port Angeles had put on my coffee machine, but had disappeared once I'd been searching for it. I'd been wondering if the girl had taken it off, or if Edward had taken it.

Now I knew.

"You took it without telling me," I accused.

"Yes."

I watched the childish handwriting bitterly. "So you've known a little while."

"True."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He laughed, and for the first time it was a real laugh. It wasn't forced, sarcastic or harsh. I had a strong feeling he was laughing at me, while I hadn't asked such a strange question.

"It was your life mission!" I said in a defensive tone, as he watched me skeptically. "You kept telling me you'd find out about why I'd moved to Forks. You even tried making a deal with me. 'I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours' is what you said."

"I wanted to find out," he said with a nod. "Because I thought you were hiding something like being a porn star or some scam which involved you leaving your fiancee at the altar."

I wasn't able to say anything but watch him in disbelief. I was seventeen, and yet he thought I was hiding a breakup, or being some porn star.

It was almost funny.

"I wanted to tell you I knew the truth. I didn't tell you for probably the same reason you waited so long till asking me how I knew. Post phoning it means you get to deny it for a little longer."

I nodded, giving him my agreement. I handed him back the offensive note that blew my cover.

"Everybody must call me crazy. The crazy girl who lied about her name. I feel like a fool."

"I think," Edward said as he played with the post-it note between his fingers, "you'll be known as the girl who walked away. Once all the ones who mistreated you know who you really are, it'll be them who'll feel foolish."

"I guess." But I still felt stupid, as if everybody would judge me for my mistake.

I scowled hard at the house where I was about to go in. Once I went in, it meant goodbye Forks and goodbye Phoenix. It would mean goodbye to my old life.

But it had to mean something better as well.

"Though I wish to never see you again," I muttered with my hand on the door handle. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. D'you need anything else?"

I shook my head and opened the door. The crack sounded like drums in my ears.

_Dammit! _

I'd forgotten about Jacob, our meeting, texts, and kiss...

"Maybe, one more thing," I said, turning my head to Edward. "Could you tell Jacob that I had a really great time with him, but I don't want any contact with anyone in Forks?"

"You want me to pass on a message to Jacob? _Verbally_?"

"If you could."

He seemed to mind it a lot. "You want me to tell him that you broke off your relationship with him?"

"No!" I said in shock. "We were never a thing. I'm not sure what we were but," I paused for a moment, "never mind then." I figured that this task was too much for Edward. To talk to his old friend who now hated him.

Edward found a piece of paper and pen, and handed them to me as he said, "I'll find Jacob. And I'll tell him that you wanted me to pass on a message to him. I'll manage to give him a _written _message from you."

"Good idea," I said, taking the material out of his hands and putting the paper on my knee with the pen slowly pressing in the paper.

_Dear Jake  
><em>_I need to say goodbye, because I left  
>Forks. <em>_You've been a great friend to  
>me, however shortly. I'm sorry I have<br>__to say we won't __find out if it could  
>have been something <em>_more. I loved  
>your honesty and patience, I needed<br>that. You can have my truck, keys  
>are still in it. <em>_Take care!  
><em>_Bella_

I folded the paper in two, already guessing Edward would read it once I was out of his sight, but there wasn't much I could do about it.

As for the truck, it was in Forks and I wasn't planning on going back to get it. Giving it to Jacob seemed like the right thing to do.

"So you'll give this to him?" I asked.

"As soon as I'm in Forks."

It was a done deal, and I thought one last time if I had everything covered and all the answers I wished. I had my wallet with ID card, cash money, cell phone and a place to stay. I grabbed my bag and pushed the envelope Edward had given me in it.

What more did a runaway need?

"Take care, Edward," I murmured, giving him the same wish I gave Jacob in the note as I stepped out of the car.

"You too, Bella."

I froze, but not for long. It was the first time I heard him say my name and that caused a strange feeling. It made me wonder if he realized that himself. Because it wasn't that important, basically just a verbal sound coming out of his mouth, so I told myself to forget about it.

What was really important, was the moment I'd go to the front door of the unknown house and find out what help I could get here. I had to trust Edward's words that this place would give me what I needed.

For the last time I looked at him as I closed the door. He was looking too.

I was completely sick of all the dark stories that came in this dark world. So I tapped on the window till it rolled down and I leaned down so I wouldn't be talking to Edward's shadow.

"See you in the next world?" I asked jokingly, with what I hoped was a challenging look.

My last words didn't mean I wanted to meet up with him in the future, but they held a small promise. I meant to say that even when the past is right behind you, don't let it hurt you. I was able to tell Edward that I was running away now, but not for ever. I was petrified of what would happen once I stepped into that house, but it was a fear I embraced. I was ready for something better. It wouldn't be dark forever and that was my promise.

With my parting words, I wanted to add some humor into our last seconds together. I didn't want to remember this as another thing to add on my list of darkness. I needed this goodbye to be normal, because nothing else was.

Edward chuckled and didn't hesitate too long with his reply.

"Till we meet again," and in his eyes was a spark of hope.

There were still many questions I wanted to ask. Edward called me Coco a few times. Tanya commit quite a crime and I was curious if there would be justice for me. I hoped my very precious coffee machine wouldn't be thrown away. Emmett must have found my note by now, which I left for him in their garage. I hoped he didn't think badly of me, for leaving with only a note to explain that I left. Then there was last Monday, when Edward was friendly in the morning, but acted cruelly when school was done. His sudden dropout from Biology was shocking to Mr Banner, and I remembered how he told me that Edward excelled Biology. Now that I and all my drama were gone, I wondered if Edward would retake his Biology classes. After seeing me with Jacob, Edward called me a slut. Today before boxing, Jasper mentioned that Edward more likely taught me self defense instead of boxing. And then there were my parents, who all this time knew that I was a victim of bullying. Everybody who knew me in the first grade would have their opinion as to why I lied. And on top of that, after everybody heard I was not Rebecca, but Bella, I also ran away.

I had many thoughts, doubts, questions and ideas. But I didn't have the answers to it all. After today I learned that not everything came with a clear explanation, not even in time. But that was okay, because what really did it matter in the long haul? It's okay not to know everything.


	14. Reunion with Forks

**Disclaimer: **Not my characters.

**A/N: **I have no words for this late update. I thank you all kindly. Everybody who reviewed and is still with me and this story, you are my fans. I appreciate the still ongoing support.

Song:  
>Immortals - Fall Out Boys<br>They play that song in the animation movie Big Hero 6 and it's become my obsession.

Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

><p><strong><em>Chapter 14 - Reunion with Forks<em>**

I was working on a case that caused very much uproar between me and my colleagues. It pissed me off to hear their constant 'Poor, poor Nina, what a horrible boy that Charles is'_._

They were taught better then this. My colleagues were qualified social workers like I was, yet their intelligence drove me to the point I had to walk away in case I said or did something to them which I would later regret.

Nina wasn't the only victim. Could they not open their damn eyes to see that?

The company I worked for was at the second floor of a ten-floor building and I had to run eight flights up the stairs until I finally made it to the roof, but I ran gladly. My body was filled with rage and the exercise did me good.

I came often to the roof for some fresh air. My boss Rupert told me to not pull this stunt, as he called it, but I just liked the view up here. Besides, he was too busy with other businesses to keep his eyes on me and my whereabouts. Plus, I really didn't care.

I was working on the Charles and Nina case with my colleagues Vincent, Steven and Amy. I almost blurted out at them that one single baboon had higher IQ points then theirs combined together. When I managed to keep that in, I wanted to grab their shoulders one by one and give them a good shake till their eyes popped out.

Our case was a brutal one and we were never prepared, nor would we ever, to see or hear about a child's abuse. A ten year old boy, Charles, had molested his three year younger sister Nina. Everybody felt very sorry for the girl, for it was she who was molested, but I learned that it was never the child's fault.

Never.

It could not be that this ten year old boy _wanted _to molest his own younger sister, so I told my colleagues and the family of Charles and Nina to get the hell of his back. I told them that Charles was a victim as much as Nina.

Vincent, Steven, Amy and even Rupert had their mind set that it was Charles fault. Even if he was only ten, they thought that Charles learned about sex through the internet. The considered him to have become sexually more developed.

They said that the innocent boy was guilty of the crime.

We asked Nina questions and she replied. She told us how Charles told her to take of her clothes. She said her brother touched her. She said that he wouldn't stop when she told him to stop. She said that she was scared when he was like that.

Charles and Nina's mother, father, grandmother and grandfather were present as well, waiting worriedly in the waiting room.

After my outburst, Rupert wanted to pull me off the case. However I told him that the boy was a victim and that I had to find the full story behind Charles.

The problem why we were stuck with this case, laid in Charles hand.

"Why did you tell your sister to take of her clothes?" Vincent had asked.

Charles had said nothing.

"Why did you touch your sister, Charles?" Steven had asked.

He hadn't reply.

"Charles, why did you hurt your sister?" Amy had asked.

His eyes had remained low and his mouth had kept shut.

I'd left the room where Charles examination continued. But not because I gave up on Charles. I needed a minute to calm myself. I watched the buildings across Redmond and thought all the things I had accomplished so far.

Currently twenty-six, the last nine years had been my cough syrup going down. At first it was scary, bitter and ugly. I often thought that I made a mistake for stepping into that house where Edward dropped me off. But that was only in the beginning, when everything was unsure.

Everything is scary in the beginning. There's an ocean of dots, but none of them connected. That often made me feel even more lost then I already felt.

That was until I met Bree, a child younger then I was, shorter and skinnier. Our first days together was awkward, but we slept in the same room, so talking to one another became inevitable. I heard her cry herself to sleep every night again. The first night I touched her to see if she needed anything, perhaps a hug, but she slapped my hand away and told me to piss off.

The second night I didn't dare to near her and listened as she wept. Hearing another person in pain without being able to help them... It made me feel so useless.

The third night as she cried, I told her my story. I decided to trust the girl in pain and I told her all about my life. First her crying slowed down until she only had to sniff her nose a few times. Then she turned around in her bed to face me as I continued to talk and look at her. The room was dark and I couldn't tell precisely if she was looking at me, but that didn't matter.

I knew she was listening.

"I don't know what got into me to ask him that I would see him in the next world, but I suppose his reply was worth asking. Till we meet again, was his reply and to me that meant that everything will be alright. It has to be. And that was three days ago. I am Bella, by the way."

Her small body got off the bed and she walked up to my bed. I sat up and she sat down, her sad eyes on me.

"I'm Bree. I'm sorry I slapped your hand away three days ago... It's just..."

Then Bree decided to trust me and she told me about her life. She gave me her story after I gave her mine.

Bree's parents had gotten themselves into a horrible, illegal mess and were murdered. Bree had seen this happen, and she caught a few of the words shared between the murderers and her parents.

"The deal is off," on of the murderers said, holding his gun toward Bree's mom.

"Please, we can get the money," Bree's mom pleaded. "Give us another day."

"Your time is up. You lost the meth."

"We can find it again," Bree's dad said quickly.

Bree was hidden under the bed when it happened. After the shots were fired and the murderers left her parents bleed to death, she ran away. She found that salvation house where we both lived. She had no other family to go to or ask her questions to. She was dying to know why her parents got killed, what kind of double life they were living, but she would never know. She felt like everything she once knew was a lie.

She told me the world had brought her down on her knees.

She told me I was the first person she told about the murder she'd witnessed .

That night she slept in my bed and we cried ourselves to sleep as we laid close by one another. We needed each others comfort and warmth to get through the dark night.

We grew close to each other after that night when we gained each other's trust as we both lived in that same house for a bit more then three weeks.

Now our bond was as strong as sisters. We had each other's back no matter what. We were the luckiest pair alive as a foster house decided to adopt us both upon hearing that we were close friends, had become inseparable and couldn't imagine being split.

I gained a friend, a sister, somebody who would never drop me. Having loved ones, I learned, was the one thing that mattered the most.

At the foster house, there was a personal doctor who did many tests on me and Bree. I told them about my brain concussion and since I didn't want them to contact the doctor in Forks, they had to do the tests again. It was true indeed, that I needed bed rest and it'd take me a year longer to graduate. But I didn't want to graduate at eighteen. I wanted my graduation to be at seventeen. It was silly maybe, or strange, but I didn't want to be slowed down by my past. I told myself to listen to my body, not the doctor. If my body allowed me to study, I would. If my body told me I was tired, I would rest.

Bree needed many hours of counseling to not cry herself to sleep anymore. My help alone was not enough. She needed professionals.

Somewhere around December I no longer felt head aches or became tired because of bright lights, so I studied hard and I did graduate, at seventeen. I felt euphoria, because the one and only thing I wanted, became reality. I felt proud of myself and respected my body even more. I took great care of it, ate healthy and worked out often. Bree was a bit more lazy, but I still managed to drag her with me _occasionally _at my six a.m. jogs.

Taking care of myself the way I did felt good, but I missed something. I looked around for sports, something to help me meet new people, beside my classmates. I took a street dance lesson, a tennis lesson and even tried to play check with a group of nerdy students. It was fun for only once. I'd gotten frightened by the boxing but it brought an idea in my head. Would it be my thing to study one of the martial arts?

I looked around on the internet to see if there was a school close by my house. In fact, there was a karate, taekwondo, jujutsu and kung fu school. I asked Bree what she thought of it. After some research we both considered kung fu as the best, because it was a broad Chinese martial arts. After one single lesson I was dog tired and felt all my muscles ache from the hard training. Still I loved it and told the sensai that I wanted to become a member of their school.

That was the most spiritual day of my life, because I felt if I could graduate despite my change of schools, my brain concussion and loss of family, I could study anything I wanted and become anything I wished to be. I found a school to study kung fu with well mannered people. It felt fantastic to have that kind of trust in myself.

My foster parents, Maggie and Liam, were rich and this shocked me the day I actually found out. Or perhaps, I was naive. Their house was ten times the size the one I lived in at Forks, but I'd been walking there with my head low for a long time. Studying hard had become my passion and it had distracted me from noticing my surroundings.

Maggie and Liam had no other children and were forty-three and forty-five respectively. Bree and I were their first foster children and my first thought had been skeptical. I was sure that they'd hate me within a week. Now at twenty-six I still visited them one day a week for dinner. I considered them my family.

They offered to pay for my college, and I said no. I didn't want their money, because accepting a gift that big from people I barely knew felt strange. But they pleaded with me and explained to me very well how they had seen a change in me. They said that they looked up at me and my remarkable grades.

"Somebody who could work so hard to still graduate at seventeen in your conditions is amazing," they had said. "You deserve our gift and declining it is rude."

That was the first day my heart felt warmth for their kindness and inspiring words. Because of them, I knew I wanted to become a social worker and be there for all children in need of help.

At seventeen, I took several classes like anthropology, psychology, sociology and economics. It didn't take me long to find my area was with children, so I learned about child psychology and their development. I did research, wrote papers and was often guided well by my teachers. Getting good grades on my exams and papers was easy, but my verbal assignments were often not very well. I took some extra training to help with my verbal skills.

At twenty Maggie and Liam asked if I wanted my own condo and I remembered how I'd stood still and stared at them for a long time.

We lived in Bremerton and my school was in Seattle, not a very long ride to make everyday, but not perfect either. They offered to pay for a small condo for me so I could study peacefully during weekdays in Seattle and visit them in the weekends.

I accepted.

I told myself to work hard and finish school so that after graduation, I could find a good place to work and earn my own money. Because of Maggie and Liam, I never had to take any student loans so I was in no debt to society, but I knew that if it wasn't for Maggie and Liam, I wouldn't have gotten this far in the first place. I wanted to get something for them, buy something big, but my mind was yet blank as to what would make them happy.

When getting my bachelor's degree magna cum laude, I asked to them how I could ever repay them for all their help and kindness. I felt so guilty that I had leaned on them so much for the past five years, as my first year with them had been my last year of high school and the four years afterwards to get my bachelor's degree.

They replied ever so kindly, "The best present to give us, Bella, is by helping and giving to others as much as you can with your knowledge, compassion and your own character. We are proud of you and there is nothing more you can give us then you already have."

I knew that Bree and I were the luckiest girls alive with foster parents as Maggie and Liam. It wasn't for their wealth, but their warmth that made us into the girls we were today. They made us better people and didn't give up on us when we were on our worst.

Because of them I knew how a mother is supposed to act upon her child. I knew now what unconditional love was.

Two years later at twenty-three, I also earned myself a master's degree which made me extremely likable to many companies. I had the opportunity to choose the place where I wanted to work.

The first year, I changed my working place three times, not quite finding what I was looking for.

And currently, I was working at a place which was not so much better then the three previous places I worked, but I realized something cruel at this forth company where I worked.

Social services was simply most of the time a cruel service, blinded by stupidity and deafened by a lack of money. So many children did not get the service they deserved and it maddened me everyday to see how they were treated. A child could not heal properly by just taking them away from their parents and dumping them someplace else.

When I was in college, everything was very sugar coated. Here in the real world, I had to fight a lot harder to accomplish some goals. I even had to bend the rules at times.

I had to admit that I loved my job. Being part of a society that helped children meant a lot to me. There were times that I almost wondered if all kids had loving parents, because we received no complaints, but suddenly it was like everybody called or e-mailed at the same time to give us a warning or complaint about a child being abused.

Three of my other current cases were under control, but this...

This was turning into a battle between myself and everybody else. I'd be damned if I couldn't earn Charles trust to give me that one piece of information that would explain it all. If I got my hands on that detail, I could save him.

Unwillingly, and so very much inappropriately, my thoughts led me to a place I wished to never be part of again.

Yet, the mind is very strongly connected to the heart, and I allowed myself to remember with a smile, because suddenly I knew what to ask Charles to find the missing link.

_"Why are you picking on me? Why does it always have to be me?" I said with tears streaming down my face._

_Rosalie's big blue eyes looked like they didn't care I was crying and Emmett's brown eyes stared at me almost rudely._

_"Because I hate you, Smelly Belly," Rosalie hissed._

_I was frightened of her now, because I wasn't sure why today only she and Emmett were bullying me. They were always together, in a big group. I was very ashamed of their nicknames for me. They were mean and painful. I wondered if their nicknames were true. Did I really smell bad? _

_And if I do smell bad, is that my fault?_

_"But what did I do wrong?" I asked, partly to myself as well. The question left my lips without my intention. I felt stupid._

_Briefly, I saw that Rosalie hesitated and her eyes seemed confused._

_As if she too had no answer for me. It almost looked like she was reconsidering her behavior towards me._

_Emmett said, "Rosy, let's just go. I'm not in the mood to tease the ugly duckling."_

_"Did I ever hurt you?" I asked more loudly to both of them. I even looked in their eyes. First Rosalie, then Emmett._

_It was strange to see a moment of shock in both their eyes. They turned their heads to each other and for a moment I felt okay._

Back then I was a child, and I didn't know how people's behavior could give away so much about thus person.

I could not remove the victorious smile of my face as I left the roof to find my colleagues on the second floor.

"Where is Charles?" I asked Rupert.

"Why?" he asked. "What are you planning?"

"I need to speak with him, if that is okay with you?" I asked condescendingly in a low voice.

"Don't start with that tone-" he began, and I groaned out loud to stop him.

"He is innocent! That child is innocent, Rupert!"

_Rosalie is innocent._

_Emmett is innocent._

Something hit me straight in my gut as those tiny thoughts crept into my head, causing immediate nausea.

"What the hell?" I whispered. What was happening to me?

"What?" Rupert asked in sudden confusion.

I scowled at him and cursed myself for saying that out loud.

"Nothing," I muttered. "Just a cramp. Anyway, Charles is not guilty."

"Bella," Rupert began. "What do you want?"

I watched him angrily. "I want to speak with him! Give me just a few seconds. That's all."

"Alright," he agreed.

"Thank you," I muttered, not believing he agreed with me for once. "Where did you put him?"

Rupert scolded me and I must say, I chose my words like that on purpose.

"I did not _put him _anywhere. I asked him to wait in the waiting room, of course."

"Ah," I said in a salute.

Searching for the little boy, I noticed him through the glass window inside the waiting room. I stepped inside and knocked on the open door to catch his attention. He lifted up his head and watched me nervously. I smiled in reassurance.

Of course I knew all my colleagues and boss were standing outside the room to listen what I had to say to this boy.

He was sitting at the table with his slim shoulders hunched and his head hanging low. He had chubby cheeks, but was overall built well for a ten year old. His big brown eyes were innocent, and unsure.

I sat on the chair next to him and gave him a warm smile as I held out my hand.

"Hi, I'm Bella and I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few quick questions? Let's start simple. What's your name?"

"Charles," he said softly with his eyes low, but still extending me his loose hand.

I took his cold, clammy hand and shook it shortly. My smile grew because I managed to do the one thing none of my colleagues managed to do.

Charles answered my question.

And I'd be damned if I didn't feel victorious about that.

"It's nice to meet you, Charles," I said. "There's one thing I would like to know."

His eyes suddenly rose to mine and my heart felt soar for the fear portrayed in his innocent features.

"I never m-meant to hurt Nina, honest. M-m-my sister, I don't want her to be h-hurt."

I nodded, and said, "Yes, I know that. But because Nina _is _hurt, I must ask you this, Charles."

My voice turned serious, and he dropped his eyes. That was okay, kids like him could have often difficulties with holding eye contact.

"Who hurt you the way you hurt Nina?"

It was exactly the correct question to ask Charles and I had no doubt about it before I asked it. Sometimes in this field, you had to guess what a child had suffered, but with Charles I didn't have to guess. I knew somebody hurt him, and he thought that it was okay to hurt somebody else. Because he was hurt as well. And if somebody did it to him, it was okay if he did it on somebody else.

Somebody had molested Charles.

This morning Nina was found by her mother below their staircase, unconscious. Charles had been sitting next to her. The mother called an ambulance and luckily for Nina, she only suffered some mild bruising around her ribs and on her head due to the fall. But Nina said that her brother Charles hurt her, by pulling her arms and pushing her down that staircase when she and her brother got into a fight.

I watched Charles with a scowl and gave him a moment, because it seemed like he needed it to bite his lip, run his hand through his hair and stare at this shoes in panic.

"I'm not supposed to say." His voice was filled with doubt.

"You can tell me, Charles," I said in reply. "You can trust me."

I gave him time, because he had an answer, but he was too scared. Whoever hurt him also brainwashed him to never let anybody know he was being molested.

That's what horrible people did. They made sure with mean words and threats that you'd keep your mouth shut.

_Soon after I asked them and soon after their shared look, they both got angry. They got so angry that I felt stupid for thinking they were reconsidering their mean behavior towards me._

_"You're so dumb! Do you think you are smart with those stupid questions?" Rosalie screeched, walking fast to reach me._

_I jumped backwards and held up my hands, but I was too late._

_She hit me hard, mostly on my arm but it still hurt._

_Out of nowhere, Emmett stood beside me and pushed me hard, making me lose balance. I let out a sob as I landed on my hands and knees in a pool of dirty water. These were my brand new jeans! Daddy would be angry if he saw I made them dirty._

_I felt my eyes sting as more tears fell down on my cheeks._

_"And if you ever tell anybody about this, you ugly duckling-" Rosalie hissed._

_"-we'll throw those newborn ducks in the water," Emmett finished, his eyes showing no mercy._

_I watched them in shock. Yesterday, I had stopped by the lake to watch a swan nurse her five ducklings._

_Had they been watching me?_

_"Please don't," I said with a sob. "Please don't kill them. I won't tell anybody."_

Everyday, after that threat, I made sure to see those tiny baby ducks alive. And they were and I was so happy once they got older and grew into their waterproof feathers.

_I even named them..._

I shook my mind hard and focused on Charles.

He opened his mouth and I was sure everybody outside this room was listened very well to what he had to say.

Perhaps they were doubting me but I didn't care.

I didn't doubt me.

His eyes rose and he said, "My stepfather."

Nor did I ever doubt that Charles was innocent.

Soon his eyes were on the table again.

I nodded at him in approval, even though he couldn't see and said in my most earnest voice, "Thank you, Charles. Now, would you like to see your sister? I'm sure Nina missed you and would love to see you again."

His face lit up at the mention of his sister. I made sure that everything was arranged the way both Nina and Charles deserved. That dirty cockroach of a stepfather was taken by the police and at the end of the day, that was what mattered most. He would never lay his hands on Charles again.

As I finished for the day to go home, I walked past my colleagues and boss.

My boss stood up and smiled broadly.

"Well done, Bella. That was superb work."

I nodded curtly, saying a quick thanks.

My colleagues congratulated me and I quickly dismissed them, because even though now all was well for Charles and Nina, that did not take away the fact that the perfectly well social workers missed something that big.

Damn those blind baboons. I wondered if they won their master's degree at the lottery.

Once I was outside at the parking space and the ice cold air hit my face, I was remembered of that horrible thought I had this afternoon.

_Rosalie and Emmett are innocent._

I shook my head in the hopes that awful memory and strange thought would leave my head.

It was odd to think of something so forgiving.

Today though might have hit me a bit too hard to remind me of everything in Forks. That little boy's name, which reminded me of my father. The situation, though maybe not completely, but _enough_, reminded me of myself. It was a successfully solved case, but would it have been just as successful, were it not for my past?

I felt guilty for my thoughts, but I couldn't help but wonder if maybe that was true.

After I asked Rosalie and Emmett if I ever hurt them, they had been caught of guard. And the reason was because not I, but somebody else had hurt Rosalie and Emmett. Or maybe the death of their parents and the moving from Chicago to Forks hurt them too much. That hurt made them think that it was okay to hurt other people, to hurt me.

With that knowledge, I was able to solve the Charles and Nina case.

I didn't know if my theories about Emmett and Rosalie were true. All I knew with certainty was that that memory helped me solve this case.

But I was a social worker now. And back then were were all children.

Innocent.

The social worker in me wondered what Emmett's and Rosalie's story was.

.

.

.

I pressed the phone against my ear after I dialed the Forks Hotel number. It was ridiculous that a hotel called itself after the town it was located.

It made no sense. It was unoriginal.

"Hello, Forks Hotel, this is Kate speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hi," I said. "I was wondering if you have any free rooms for either tonight or tomorrow?"

"Yes, we do," she said instantly. It made me wonder if there were _any _other people staying at the hotel. "If you get here tonight, it's be unnecessary to make a reservation. We have an available a room for $55 that'll give you any basics, free Wi-Fi-"

"Okay," I interrupted her. "Thanks. And for tomorrow?"

"Same room for the same price. We also have-"

"Sure," I rudely interrupted again. "So I definitely don't need reservations?"

"Nope. We have many free rooms, especially now in the cold winter month."

"Thank you very much. Bye."

I quickly hung up the phone and took a deep breath.

It wasn't an everyday decision to want to make a quick visit to Forks. It was scary to even think about going back to the place that I'd avoided for such a long time. But now that I had the idea in my head, I had to know.

What had become of Forks and all the people I once knew?

.

.

.

This Friday felt too long.

First spending my day with the baboons and trying to solve the hard case.

Then thinking about Rosalie and Emmett and their innocence.

And then that call to the Forks Hotel!

At last it took me two hours to drive to my foster parents home.

I ran up to my dearest Bree and she gave me the tightest hug that I really needed at that moment.

"I missed you, bro!" she said in my hair.

"Missed you more, sis."

We hadn't seen each other for five days, not really that long.

For Bree and I it was forever.

Milo, our tiny Jack Russell, came running and jumping against both of us until we split and I gave him some attention too.

"Hey, Milo!" I said in a greet. "How have you been?" He gave me three barks in return and quickly ran forth and back in his enthusiasm.

Bree was a veterinarian. She realized her passion for animals when she met Milo nine years ago. After living with our foster parents for only three month, they asked Bree and myself if we should adopt a dog. So we went to a dog shelter and saw the back then two year old Milo running straight toward us. But he couldn't reach us, because he was behind bars.

That day we didn't hesitate to take him out of the bars with us to our home.

Also, that day I adored my foster parents even more. They didn't only save children, but animals as well.

We went to the couch. Milo jumped on my lap and I patted him over his head many times.

"Hey, you soft hairball," I muttered after receiving many kisses from my old little friend.

I looked up at Bree and it took only a second until Bree asked, "Are you okay?"

She must have seen it in my eyes so I told my soul mate and sister about my day. I left nothing out.

Bree was the best listener. She nodded, smiled, scowled, asked a question or two and patiently listened as I talked.

"I've had better days," I concluded with a shrug. I let my hand keep running over Milo's eyes and ears.

Bree gave me a sad smile. "Oh, I hate to see you like this. I can't believe your colleagues are so blind."

I huffed in agreement. I told Bree almost everything.

The part where I called the hotel to see if their were any rooms for tonight or tomorrow was something I kept from her for a little while longer.

Tonight at dinner I was going to ask Maggie, Liam and Bree what their opinion was on my reunion with Forks.


End file.
